I do not own Soul Eater what so ever!.
Darkness. It means the partial or total absence of light. but it also means wickedness or evil. What is it to me then? Am I evil and wicked or am I without light?
Visions of darkness come to me over and over again non stop. I can't make it stop. I wish I could but I cant. I'm not strong enough to do it myself. It covers me like a blanket making me feel sick from the heat it caused.
I tossed and turned all night too uncomfortable with the non stop darkness that surrounded me. Engaged me like a circus animal. It held onto me and didn't let go. I woke up severely times during the night sweating and panting for breath, but I couldn't see it was all black. I eventually had fallen back to sleep but I was once again plagued with the eternal darkness that seems to surround me.
(Morningish)
A beam of light touched my eyes and I sat up on my bed stretching as I did so. I opened my eyes and smiled a little for being able to actually see something other then the enternal darkness that I felt last night. I stumbled out of bed and quickly got ready for the day.
I stopped by my window and looked out it in awe of the light the sun gives off as it sines down upon the earth. Seeing the sun in the morning is what makes me keep living.
My eyes the look over to where Soul was chasing after a giggling Angie.
The sun and them, are my reason to keep fighting the darkness inside me. If I didn't have both Soul and Angie I sont want to think what I would do.
Sure I have people who love me and care for me, but they don't understand. And they never will. To some degree I know Soul doesn't know and completely understands what I go through and I hope and pray to whatever kamis there are that Angie will never go through the pain and suffering I go through.
My heart gives a painful thump as I continue to think about the darkness that surrounds my entire being. As much as I try and hope I feel that one day I might give into the madness, give into the darkness.
Thats the reason I don't want to take over for my father. I don't want to risk everyone's lives. And that's what I would do if I ever loss control. If I ever let anger and anyother negative emotion you could think of take over. I would lose all control and would probably hurt the people I love and care for the most.
And I don't think I could live with myself if I did.
a short chapter I know but it goes more in depth about what Maka goes through and more in depth about her thought processes through out all of this.
I would like like to apologize for not updating for so long. I got so carried away with studying that I forgot to write chapters and update my stories. Hopefully my schedule will be back on track.
~The Writer Of The FanFiction.
