HI

Ok, where were we, Dean's little trip down memory lane coming up. I wrote this as a back story and then ripped it up and wrote it almost as Dean would write and think it (I hope) I was gonna put in the spelling mistakes etc that I spoke about in the first paragraph but it was too difficult to read, so I had Sam clean it up for me!!

What did Dean do that was so bad....here it is!

Thank you for all the reviews, there have been loads and I am struggling to reply to them all but that doesn't mean that I don't appreciate them. Thanks again, Mary xx

Forgive Me

He sat with the laptop on his knee and typed slowly.

Ok Dean, spent long enough using one of these things to know where the keys are and this has so got to be the quickest way to do this so lets just get on with it.

He rested his fingers back on the keyboard and started to type.

---

Sam and Bobby sat with the books and the pictures in front of them pouring over ever little detail. Sam had the pictures of the house and the circle in front of him and Bobby was still working on the carving on Dean's chest.

"Fair bet to say that this is a witch then eh?" Bobby raised his head from the book and sorted his cap. Sam stopped and looked over.

"Looks that way, but I think that there's something more, I just don't know what yet."

"Is that what you've got Dean working on?" Sam nodded.

"You found something else at the house, didn't you?" Bobby's look pierced right through Sam and he nodded again.

"I want Dean's version first, if he can managed to tell me it. I might need you to fill in the blanks later though." He looked down at his hands and then back to Bobby.

"That's what I'm here for. You know something about this might mean more to me if you could give me a little hint as to what I'm looking for?" Bobby's manner was gentle, wanting to know more but not willing to push.

Sam gave Bobby a steady gaze. "I can give you a time?"

Bobby raised his eyebrows.

"Summer 1997."

A little dark look crossed Bobby's face. "Busy time…a lot of things happened then." He dropped his eyes to the book in front of him, effectively ending the conversation.

Sam stared at him wondering what Bobby remembered that he didn't.

---

Dean looked worn out when Sam next went back to check on him. He touched his brother's shoulder and was rewarded only with a brief and distance smile. He turned the laptop to Sam and he knelt down and saved the document that Dean had typed. It was fine at the start but further down it was harder to read…more bunched…the spelling mistakes more frequent as his brother had tired.

Dean tapped his hand asking him how it was. Sam let him know that he had done an amazing job and that made Dean smile again, less distant this time.

Sam told Dean that he was going to go read it, and Dean tapped that he was going for a shower. Sam watched as he stood and made his way across the room. He realised that yet again he was amazed as how well his brother could cope with anything that was thrown at him, how well he could adapt…but then, he thought, Dean had had plenty of practice at adapting…at changing himself to fit in and coping with whatever crap had been thrown at him.

Sam moved to the other bed, propped himself up on the pillows and started to read. He spaced and sorted the mistakes as he read without even thinking about it.

Dean climbed into the shower and slid down the wall to sit in the bottom, pulling his knees up and resting his chin on them. He hoped that this would soon be over and that his brother wouldn't think badly of him when it was.

---

Summer 1997

I remember Bobby coming to get us, Dad was there too. They had to call the police and an ambulance but I remember Dad insisting that he take us home and Bobby insisting that I go get seen too. Bobby won. I was in the hospital for a day until I signed myself out. I'd lost a bit of blood and they didn't want to let me home. Bobby stayed with me the whole time 'cos Dad was with you at his place. Don't know if you remember that at all. By the time I got home the next day he had taken you to Jim's didn't even wait to let me see you were ok, he just wanted you out of harm's road so he could hunt the thing down.

Angela's head injury was serious, I found that out the next morning. Audrey wasn't too bad, they just kept her in to watch her overnight and she was getting out the next day. Bobby spoke to her about not mentioning you and she was cool with that. She came to visit me, to see how I was and Bobby had left us for a few minutes, that's when her mother arrived. She was more than a little bit upset with both Audrey and me. I tried to tell her it was my fault, that I should have been there, that Audrey thought that I was but she was just so angry. Audrey left really upset and then her mum went after her. I wanted to follow but Bobby had arrived back and stopped me, told me not to get involved, that it would blow over. I wanted home after that so I signed myself out, Bobby wasn't happy but I couldn't stay there. I snuck in to see Angela just before I left, her mum was talking to the doctors but I didn't really care if she caught me.

I just wanted to see her you know.

She was so pale except for this huge bruise on her head and there was just so many machines, not that we're not used to that now, but then it kinda threw me. She was just so small lying there, a little broken china doll. Broke my heart to see her like that.

Sam realised that his brother wasn't only typing his thoughts but a little of his feelings too, he wondered if he had even been aware of it.

I sat with her for a minute or two, think I was hoping that she'd wake up 'cos I was there, but she didn't, so I got the hell out of there before her mother came back, I did want to upset her more than she was at the moment, couldn't deal with that right at that minute. I kinda realised that maybe I wasn't her most favourite person at the moment not that I was to start with, not good enough for her daughter you know, if she'd known for sure that we were sleeping together I don't think it wouldn't have been pretty.

I was going home when it struck me that if Audrey wasn't in the hospital she would be home and maybe she'd know what was going on with her sister. I begged Bobby and we swung by there. Audrey was a mess. Her mom had blamed her for everything it seemed, well her and me Audrey said but I wasn't there to get the sharp edge of a tongue lashing. I wish I could have saved her from that, from having her mom tell her that her sister getting hurt was her fault, that Audrey had let her down.

She told me that they didn't think that Angela was gonna wake up and that they might have to turn off her life support. Said her mom was thinking about it. I couldn't believe that she was that bad, you know.

They left Angela for a week, I snuck in a coupla times, just to see her, sit with her. She was fading I could see it. She was so full of life, funny, happy, sexy and it was all gone, everything that made her special. It was just the machines that were keeping her going and I wanted to stay with her, to be with her, but her mum caught me there that time, and boy did she tell me what she thought of me, not pleasant but I deserved it. I mean she wouldn't have been there if I'd just did what Dad asked me, if I hadn't made him mad, hadn't asked her to meet me there, she would still be here.

I watched her mum a coupla times just sitting there, holding Angela's hand, signing to her, she looked so sad, so lost and angry too. Every time I saw her she was crying.

There was a large gap in the writing and Sam realised that Dean had stopped typing for a moment, had rested his hand on the space bar while he thought about something then had continued.

Sam please don't think badly of me for this next part.

The simple little sentence made Sam pause to wondering just what the hell had happened to make Dean think that Sam would think badly of him.

Anyway I went to see Audrey again and we were talking and she was kinda upset and so was I, and I swear to god that I didn't mean it to happen, I wasn't thinking, she was just so upset and it was my fault and I just meant to comfort her but somehow that's not what it ended up being, then her mum came home and she found us. She'd come home to let Audrey know that Angela was gone and she found us together. My girlfriend was dying in the hospital and I was with her sister.

Some guy your brother eh. Sam winced at the little remark.

Audrey's mum went ape on me, screaming, shouting, hitting. Then she tried to start on Audrey so I got her out of there, we went back to lake, just sat there for a while, then she left, didn't say a word to me the whole time that we were there and I didn't know what to say to her. I didn't know how to say that I was sorry, for everything.

I screwed up and Angela died.

God I typed all this and all I really needed to type was that sentence cause that's all that really happened Sam.

I went to her funeral, there was so many people there, I just hung back in the trees away from the graveside. I swear her mom knew though, she looked right at me at one point. Angela's dad was helping Audrey her mom seemed to cold shoulder her. Something else that was my fault. I tried to contact Audrey later, see if she was ok, but she didn't answer her phone, sent me a message which dad got because he taken back the damned phone. Told me to stay away. He wanted to know why so I told him that it was cause of what happened to her sister but he knew there was something more, either guessed or he didn't tell me the full message. Either way he still knew that I'd screwed up.

Dad and I hunted for a few weeks after that, trying to find the thing or the guy that did it, seems you were a little vague on the details little bro. Gave up cause the killings stopped went and got you at Jim's and we moved on. Police found the guy, and it was just a guy, regular nine to five, carve up a girl at the weekend for fun guy, found him a week later with a hunting knife in his back. Found him and the bodies of the rest of the girls up in a cabin nearly ten miles away. Seems they got an anonymous tip.

So there you have it little bro, that whole summer. So was it Audrey or her mom that did this, has to be one right cause I've got no other ideas. But I know that it wasn't either of them in the bar that night, she wasn't old enough, I don't remember much about her really but she was younger than I am, I'd swear that she was.

Dean's final sentence froze Sam and he wondered if his brother even realised that he had typed it.

Sam we are never gonna solve this are we. I'm stuck like this.

Sam closed the laptop and vowed that they would.

He had some questions for Dean but as he watched his brother step out of the bathroom he realised that they could wait until morning.

He looked as Dean felt for the little clock that Bobby had left for him on the bedside table, the one that he had carefully taken the glass from so that Dean could feel the hands and get a rough idea of what time it was. It was eleven o'clock. It had taken Dean almost four hours to type what he had and he looked like his head was now ready to explode. Sam watched his brother slid under the covers and close his eyes out of habit, exhaustion written on his face.

Sam went and got changed and when he came out Dean was asleep, already restless despite the small time that had passed. He gently brushed his hand against Dean's forehead and silently wished his brother good night then he lay down and churned over Dean's story of that summer in his head until sleep claimed him too.

---

Bobby was up when Sam walked through in the morning, coffee already brewing. "Brother of yours must be tired, had this pot on the go for ages and he hasn't surfaced yet. Not like him." Bobby poured Sam a cup and handed it to him as he sat down.

"Yeah, suppose he is." Sam rocked the cup in his hands.

"You get anything useful out of that little exercise last night then?"

"Kind of, I need to ask him a few questions and I'm going to need you version as well. He doesn't think that the woman in the bar is linked to that summer but she has to be 'cos if not why was the picture of Dean and Angela in the house?"

"There was a picture of your brother and his girlfriend from that summer in the house?" Sam raised his eyebrows at Bobby knowing who Angela was but then he had been in the hospital with Dean when Angela was there, Bobby was always going to remember something like that.

"Yeah stuck inside a tourist book for Marshtown on the page that talks about the lake. That is so not a coincidence." Sam looked up a Bobby. "I need to go out later, do some research on the house, Angela's family and perhaps the killer that Dad and Dean were hunting too."

"I need to go out this morning, I got some parts to fetch for a customer. You want to wait 'til I get back or take Dean with you?" Bobby grabbed his keys from the table.

"I'll wait. He hates libraries at the best of times."

"Yeah, Mags might pop in today anyhow, she wants to see how the boy's chest is healing, seems to think that some of it's healing too fast." Sam shot Bobby a worried look. "I know, just let her look again and then we'll start worrying ok?"

"Ok." Please don't let it be anything.

"I'll be back about twelve."

"Fine." Sam sat until Bobby left and then got ready, Dean was stirring as he finished. He fetched his brother a coffee and left him to get dressed.

He wanted to call and check the opening times for the library and the records office but discovered that he'd left his phone in the car. He walked out and had opened the door when he realised that someone had come up behind him, he turned quickly and almost knocked the older woman behind him over. She stepped back, a startled look on her face.

"I'm sorry, I thought you'd heard me. I need some help. My car has got a flat tyre and I can't get the spare out. I'm about a half a mile down the road. I was going to call for help but my phone's dead." She held out the offending phone.

"Yeah, sure." Sam turned towards the house. "I just need to tell my brother…."

The sentence was cut short as she fired the taser into his back.

"Don't worry…I'll do that for you."