It was dark and the sun was setting. It was barely visible past the tall shape of the mountains. She stood alone outside, and he was there, too. For a minute, she could have sworn he was a russet tom with glowing yellow eyes, but soon he changed back to the cold grey tom with blue eyes.

She sighed. It was nights like these that made her miss her apprenticeship. The feelings made her sick to her stomach. Love is what they called it. Love is what it would always be.

She got to her paws then and padded over to the tom. "Hello," she greeted. She blinked, not recognizing her own voice. She was older now, and hadn't spoken to the tom alone since they were still in the forest. Since they were still TacoClan.

"What are you still doing awake?" His voice broke her out of her thoughts. His cold voice almost made her shiver.

"I couldn't sleep," she admitted easily. "What about you?"

"Same." His tail was thrashing, she could see. "You should be asleep. You have an apprentice."

Her thoughts drifted to Cinderpaw. The young she-cat was a good apprentice. "I never really sleep during the night. I usually sit awake. If anyone should be asleep it should be you. You have a Clan to run."

"I realize this, but I just can't sleep right now," he told her.

She frowned. "Are those apprentices you've been eating making your stomach hurt?" She teased.

He looked at her with confused blue eyes before it finally clicked in his mind. "They wriggle in my belly so often. It's a wonder I still have a stomach."

She snorted. "Maybe it's time to switch to warriors. You're a big bad leader now, /Smokestar/."

"I'll stick with apprentices. You warriors are much too big, even for a 'big bad leader' such as me. I mean look at you Pheasantflight, you're huge." Smokestar smirked.

"Well gee thanks," the golden warrior said with a roll of her grey eyes. "Because you know, I'm totally the big one despite that you tower over me."

"Sarcasm doesn't help your case, young lady," Smokestar told her.

"And teasing doesn't help yours, old man," she retorted immediately.

Smokestar stared at her for a moment, jaw slightly agape, and Pheasantflight wondered if she had said something wrong. "I'm not old."

"Oh come on, Smokestar. Your son is older than me," she told him.

"Okay fine, I'm old. Those apprentices add many moons to my age," he argued. He stretched out his legs in mock-pain. "I'm not the same cat I used to be."

"Of course you are. If you weren't, you would have retired before you became leader." Before Wolfstar died. Pheasantflight smiled, and held back a yawn.

"Go to sleep," insisted the dark tom. "I know you're tired. Knowing Mousepaw and Minnowpaw, they'll want you to go hunting with them."

"They'll want you to go with them," she argued, flicking her golden tail. "You've been like a father to them, Minnowpaw especially." Memories of being told of Badgercloud, her sister and their mother, and Flurrypelt's, her mentor and their father, deaths drifted through her mind. They had hit her hard, but not as hard as the two kits. She became like a second mother to them, and Smokestar became their second father.

"You're more their family than I ever will be." That snapped her right out of her thoughts. "You're their aunt, Pheasantflight. I was never a part of your family."

Pheasantflight shook her head. "You'll always be a part of the family," she told him, her voice lowering.

"That's very kind of you, but I know that it's not true. I see your family, but I don't see me in there," he said.

"I see you there. I see you every day in Minnowpaw's eyes. She loves you, you know. You're her role model, Smokestar. You're her hero." Pheasantflight gave him a reassuring smile.

"Am I?"

"Yes, you are." Pheasantflight's eyes trailed to the stars. The sun had disappeared a long time ago, and the moon had taken its place. It was full, and she wondered how Badgercloud was doing in StarClan, with Swiftwing and Flurrypelt.

"That's a nice thought," Smokestar said quietly. "I have Eveningclaw, and that's it. I lost the rest of my family a long time ago. My mate, my brother, my kits... They're all gone except for my son."

Pheasantflight frown. "I'm sorry, Smokestar. I really am. StarClan is cru-"

"Don't talk to me about StarClan," the leader growled suddenly. "They left me a long time ago. They left me alone to take care of a Clan that cried to them for help every night. Those fox-hearts do nothing!"

"Don't say that, Smokestar. StarClan's power can only go so far. They aren't all powerful. They can only warn us of what is to come."

"Then why didn't they warn us about those rogues? Why didn't they warn us when the famine struck?" Smokestar looked ready to break down. "Why?"

Pheasantflight lowered her eyes. As much as she wanted to answer that question, she couldn't. TacoClan took a lot of losses then, but that was behind them now. They weren't TacoClan anymore. They were SmokeClan. "I'm sorry," she finally managed to say.

Smokestar sighed. "Don't be. It's not your fault that StarClan abandoned us. There was nothing any of us could do."

Pheasantflight's thoughts drifted to the rogues that had attacked them. More specifically, her thoughts were on Raindapple. The dilute tortoiseshell had joined the Clan soon after she had participated in the battle. She and Eveningclaw had claimed that she saved the tom's life, but Pheasantflight knew it wasn't true. She really didn't care, though. Eveningclaw was happy.

"Sometimes… Sometimes I wish that cats never died. I miss Spiderkit and Swiftwing. I miss Badgercloud and Flurrypelt. I miss… I miss Fishface." Pheasantflight sighed. "But life goes on, and no matter how much it hurts, I have to get over it. We all do."

"I know." The tom placed his tail on her shoulder and she smiled. He hadn't even questioned Fishface.

Smokestar was one of the few cats to understand what the nickname meant. He was there on that fishing trip, and he hadn't said a word. She was grateful for that, especially since she had given up the nickname for so long. The memories still hurt, but she had learned to move on.

"Some nights when I stay awake, I think about what would have happened if I had died instead of Spiderkit. I think of who he would have fallen in love with, and who his mentor would have been. I think about how different life would have been for the Clan. I wonder if Honeytail and Spiderpaw would have still joined the Clan then, and if Cedarwhisker would have killed Claw. I wonder if Cedarwhisker would have come back to life." The golden she-cat shook her head. "It's what keeps me up all night, wondering what would have been different."

Smokestar frowned. "What ever happened to the hyper apprentice you used to be?"

She shrugged. "Things change, I suppose. I grew up. I fell in love. I become someone else. I wish I could still be that same she-cat, but I can't. It's too hard."

"It shouldn't be. Not all cats have to change." The grey tom gave his own tiny shrug.

"Change is a part of nature," was all she said.

"I guess it is. Just look at Morninglight."

The golden she-cat used to flirt with every tom, available or not. She got around, as they said. However, she eventually settled down with a nice tom named Lightningstripe. When she lost him, she didn't continue in her flirting. She became a mother. No one ever expected that out of the she-cat.

Pheasantflight snorted. "Don't forget Spottedfeather."

The tom had abandoned the Clan in their greatest time of need, even though he was a loyal warrior. He was the last cat that Pheasantflight had expected to leave the Clan. He left for love, or at least that's what he told them before he left. No one really knew for sure.

"Yes, him too," Smokestar said with a small smile.

Pheasantflight cracked her own smile, before a yawn escaped her jaws.

"You should get some rest. We can go hunting tomorrow with Mousepaw and Minnowpaw. I'm sure Cinderpaw can tag along with someone else," he told her.

"I'm not tired," she argued, but another yawn escaped her, contradicting her statement. "I'll wake someone up," she quickly added, glancing at the warriors' den, where the sounds of sleeping cats could be heard.

"Then come sleep in my den if you're so worried." Smokestar flicked his tail towards the leader's den.

"Are you sure?" Pheasantflight asked, her grey eyes already showing signs of sleepiness.

"I am quite sure. Come along, Pheasantflight." Smokestar led her to the den. "You can have my nest, and I don't want to hear any buts."

Pheasantflight obediently curled up in the edge of the nest, and looked over to the leader. "I saved you some room."

Smokestar's blue eyes landed on the nest. "It's fine."

"I insist. If we're going hunting with Minnowpaw and Mousepaw tomorrow, you'll need to be well rested. I don't want to hear any buts." Pheasantflight thudded her tail on the nest, and finally Smokestar joined her, their pelts barely brushing.

Pheasantflight stayed awake until she could hear the steady breathing of the grey leader. Her grey eyes gleamed as she decided that she could sleep now. Thoughts slowly drifted through her mind as she fell into her slumber, and this time she didn't feel so ill.

AN: 1614 words. :o I'm such a good writer. :D

This is a Valentine's Day present for my awesome TacoClan friends, who for some reason, ships Smoke/Phes. I do, too. *shot*