I've got a song for this one- Details in the Fabric by Jason Mraz
Edward got Bella home and into her bed in about a third the time it should have taken. She had managed to fall asleep in his car and he had had to carry her up to her bed, not that he minded. Once at her bed he pulled off her shoes but left the rest of her clothes on as he tucked her into the bed.
He stood and stared at her while looming in the doorway for a good five minutes before deciding she needed some water. He ran down to the kitchen, and not only got her a glass, but a whole pitcher as well. He was bringing it up to her room when the full extent of what he'd done, what he'd said, what he'd thought, hit him.
And he reacted. Because it was all he could do. Because it is all anyone can do.
He hurled the pitcher against the wall across from him and then preceded to punch the wall next to him.
You fucking asshole, you accused her of being a whore!
You considered her touching a man! After all she's been through! Even if she did it's none of your god damn business.
Like hell it isn't, she's mine!
Quit with the fucking cockiness, she can't play around but you can go and swap spit with any whore you want? Is that the game you want to play?
I was fucking high! You can't blame me
Like hell I can't, you made her CRY!
I know...
Obviously you don't
I do!
Fix it
I can't
Fix it
...
Fix it!
By this point Edward was kneeling on the floor almost on the verge of tears. And he couldn't remember how he'd gotten there. But he knew he had a lot of shit to clean up, and not just the water and the hole in the wall.
He quickly gathered the broken glass in his hand, throwing it away (along with a great deal of his blood) into the nearest trash can, he went back down to retrieve more water, still teetering at his breaking point.
It's for Bella dumbass. It's all for her, get over yourself.
The though of her brought him back to earth just a little bit more and he jogged back up to her room, placing the pitcher and water on her bedside table, and bending down to place a kiss on her forehead, the second his lips touched her face though, her forehead crinkled up and she rolled away from him.
Fix it!
He ran out of her room like a bat out of hell and ran over to his room.
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Two hours later he crept back into her room...
This time she didn't cringe away.
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Bella woke up early Saturday morning. She had had nightmares all night of all the awful things Edward had said to her.
God, why did I forgive him?
It wasn't until then that she glanced over and say the glass and pitcher. She couldn't help her smile.
That's why
She then noticed the piece of classy black and white somehow masculine stationary, with a few stray dots of...
Is that blood??
Dear Bella,
Everything happens for a reason,
People change so you can learn to let go
Things go wrong so you can learn to love them when they're right
You believe lies so eventually
you learn to trust no one but yourself
and sometime good things fall apart
So better things can fall together
~Let me fall with you~
Love,
Edward
She was almost in tears, yet again. It was just so...right.
She knew her handwriting would never reach the fluid level of Edward's but she would do her best.
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She was sure the rest of the house was asleep as she crept over to Edward's room.
She opened his door to the wonderful surprise of him laying shirtless on top of his bed. His lips were pouty and red, and his hair was a mess, but he looked so relaxed, untroubled. She couldn't bear to wake him. She lay the note down on his bedside table and glance back at him.
It was then that she noticed his hand, laying bloody and broken by his side.
She didn't know what suddenly possessed her but the next thing she knew she was pushing the bronze locks back from his forehead and clasping his hand lightly. His green eyes opened in flash and their eyes locked for the most meaningful half moment to ever exist. And then she ran, like the coward she was.
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"Wait!" But she was already out the door. He was about to step out of bed and chase her but then he noticed the note next to his phone. He was smiling as he opened it.
Edward,
If I hadn't known you, I wouldn't like you.
If I wouldn't like you, I wouldn't miss you.
But I did, I do and I will.
~I need to fall alone~
Always,
Bella
Edward sprinted to her room faster than he thought possible, he practically knocked her door down when he realized it was locked. He kicked and punched it demanding she open up and talk to him until his hand was numb.
He sprinted back to his room searching for the damn stationary Esme had given him a few Christmas's ago.
Dear Bella,
The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and for deeds left undone
~Don't make me cry over you again~
Love,
Edward
He slipped it under her door and sat and waited. He leaned against her door for what seemed like hours until he heard a choked sob coming from the other side.
"Bella? Bella?!... Are you okay?"
"You cried," he could hear her on the other side of the door, so close, just out of reach.
"Yes."
He watched as a piece of notebook paper was slipped under the door.
Dear Edward,
We must accept finite disappointment,
but we must never lose infinite hope
~It's in our best interest~
Bella
"Is it what you want?" He choked out.
"I don't know..."
And that's all the hope he needed.
"Edward go away....Go back to sleep," She whispered through the door when she heard him sitting down against her door, she could almost feel the heat of his back against her back through the door.
"I'm not done yet Bella."
Dearest Bella,
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed
~I will always have hope~
Love,
Edward
"Do you mean this?..."
"Every single word," and they both knew exactly which word they were talking about.
Dear Edward,
Me, I'm scared of everything,
I'm scared of who I am, what I saw, what I did,
but most of all I am scared of walking out of this room and never feeling for the rest of my life,
the way I feel when I'm with you
~at some point it will be inevitable~
Sincerely,
Bella
"I would never leave you," he was crying again, he knew she could tell, he was just pretending she couldn't.
"Don't make promises you can't keep."
Dearest Bella,
It's funny how someone can break you heart
but you go on loving them with all the little pieces
~if you're going to make me cry at least come out here to wipe my tears away~
Love,
Edward
"Edward," Bella choked out, she was crying too now, "You can't love me."
"I beg to differ," Edward laughed out mirthlessly.
Dear Edward,
No one can promise they'll never hurt you,
because at one time or another they will.
The real promise is if the time you spent together will be worth the pain in the end.
~Nothing is worth all my pain, I'm sorry I'm already broken~
Truly,
Bella
"I love you, Bella, I love you damnit. Whole or broken, shattered into a million pieces I don't give a damn.... Bella please.... Give me a chance."
But then Edward remembered he'd already had a chance. One too many.
"I don't have it in me."
Dearest Bella,
Who is more foolish, the child afraid of the dark or the man afraid of the light?
~Please, all I need is one more shot, I swear I will never do wrong by you again
Don't make fools out of us~
Love,
Edward
"You're going to make mistakes, everyone does."
"Please Bella..." Edward had never been one for begging, but Bella was changing him.
Edward,
We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us
~You don't have time to wait for me,
go on with you life Edward, it will be better without having to deal with me~
Bella
"Don't you understand anything I'm telling you? I could never go back to living like I was before you Bella, I could never let you go, my life would be simply nothing without you, I'd rather live a life with you hating me than without you at all."
"I could never hate you..."
Dearest Bella,
It isn't what I feel for you,
It is what I don't feel for anyone else
If someone where to ask me what I see in you
I'd respond, "Everything"
~Don't make me go back into the black hole that was my life before you~
Love,
Edward
"Edward, d-don't be silly," her laugh sounded pathetic as it was interrupted by a hiccuping sob.
"Bella, I know your life's been rough- rough doesn't even begin to cover it- and I know you want to handle yourself-handle everything- on your own, but you're my everything, and I want to, no need to, help you, I feel so useless out here Bella, I want to share your pain with you, I want to take all of your pain and put it on me instead, god knows I deserve it a hundred fold more than you. But I can't, because I'm out here, and damnit Bella, you're in there, it is six in the fucking morning and I am out here begging you to let me in, in any way you can. I can handle a lot from you Bella, but you're killing me out here, I need to be able to see you, to know your okay, let me know what I can do. Please Bella... let me in..."
Edward had silent tears pouring down his face, and he almost laughed as he saw a new piece of paper being slowly inched out to him. But before it got to him he stopped her.
"I can hear you crying Bella, don't lie to me and tell me you don't care, you don't cry over people you don't care about."
"Edward... just take it, please," she whispered.
Edward,
Being able to leave someone you love is the truest sign of love
Bella
Edward was sure his cry had woken up Rose and Emmett but he didn't care, he slipped a final note under the door and left to his room to sulk.
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She remained unmoving, leaning against my door, head in my hands, crying until she heard his door slam shut.
Saying goodbye to him, even after just over a week was the hardest thing Bella had ever done.
Finally she reached for his last note, almost wishing it to be cruel so she could give herself a reason to not...like him.
Just like?
Are you sure about that now?
Cherished love,
I wish I could be your tear drops,
for what more could anyone ask for
then to be conceived in your heart,
born in your eyes,
live on your cheeks,
and die on your lips.
~One day I will have you Isabella, until that day comes
I pray you keep me in your heart, thoughts
and the few tears you must shed~
Undying Love of week I,
Edward, Forever Your's
And so life went for Isabella Swan and Edward Cullen every Saturday morning at six...
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Treasured Love,
If in this lifetime,
I wont get to have you,
I'll make sure that if I meet you in my next life
I wont have to think twice on saying that
"I waited a lifetime to say I love you to your face..."
~avoidance is understandable, but I'm not sure if I can stand it much longer
I need to talk again Bella, I'm so very sorry for last weekend~
Undying Love of week II,
Bella's Edward
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Beloved Bella,
True love is,
when everything in the world is going wrong,
all you have to do is look at that special person and,
suddenly,
everything in the world is right again
~You've made my world right again Bella,
Let me make yours better now~
Undying Love week III,
Edward, dying for you
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Loved one of Mine,
There are as many nights as days,
and the one is just as long as the other in the year's course.
Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness,
and the word 'happy' would lose its meaning
if it were not balanced by sadness
~I know that we wouldn't be perfect
I know that we wouldn't be any where close
but we would be together
and to me
that is all that matters~
Undying Love week IV,
Come back to me, Edward
"Undying Love" cheesy right? Hope you liked it!!! And listen to the song it reallyyyyyy fits in. Please REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW.
