Thanks for the reviews, Nupurlath, CB, Anna, Pratha and Ridhi Jain (Welcome!). Cheers!
Nupurlath: Thanks so much! I know the update took longer than usual, but the past month was a little crazy. I hope you like this chapter!
CB: Glad you did! Hope you like this one too!
Anna: Well… Jily happens in seventh year, so you're going to have to bear with me for a while… Sorry! Blame JKR for that, haha! And yes, it has been a month, I think this update came a little later than usual. Crazy times at work! But I hope you like this chapter, too!
Pratha: Thanks! Haha, I wish I could say more, but I can't, it may just spoil things… So, I guess you're going to have to be patient!
Ridhi Jain: Wow, thank you! It's very kind of you to say so, and I'm flattered that you got hooked to this story that you read it in two days! Well, I'm afraid that pace is going to go down now, and you're going to read it as fast as I can write it! And yes, this took a while… It was a crazy month at work!
Hello everyone, here is chapter eleven. Readers, please review. Thanks!
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. All (well, most, anyway) characters are from J K Rowling's brilliant best-selling series.
Chapter Eleven
"If you need help, all you have to do is ask."
"I'm sorry to hear it," James said softly as he gently patted Lily's back. He heard her give a disbelieving sort of snort. "No, you're not," she said, and James laughed inwardly; how had she known? Sure, he was sorry that she was upset, but in his head, a person like her shouldn't be dating a coward like Adam Wright – someone who running away from the war to save their own skin, at a time when the Wizarding world was in chaos and in desperate need of fighters to rally against Lord Voldemort.
"Why wouldn't I be?" he said, with a hint of a smile as she continued to sniff. At that, she drew back slowly, and said, "Oh, I dunno – except for the fact that when he told you and the team about his contract with that Madrid team – Hureros or something –"
"Guerreros," corrected James, "That's Spanish for 'Warriors' –"
"OK, Mr Linguist," she cut across him tersely, "But that's not the point – what I'm saying is, when he told you and the team, everyone congratulated him – but I saw the look on your face. You disapproved, did you?"
He simply gazed at her, startled. He'd tried to hide his true emotions, definitely – but if Lily had been able to pick up on his disdain, he'd clearly done a poor job of it. Despite the tears in her eyes, she still looked at him triumphantly and said, "There you go – I know you thought he was being a coward or something, running away…"
Unbelievable – she had to have read his mind. How did she know? "Are you using Legilimency on me, Lily?" he asked, only half in jest. She rolled her eyes and said, "No, you prat – don't you remember that we talked about this – you and your Quidditch dream – a month ago?" She looked away, blushing slightly, and he nodded… So, I was right, he thought with an inward smile. There was more to it…
She sniffled again, and he put a comforting arm around her shoulders. "C'mon," he said, "Let's go – I know just the place to cheer you up."
"Kitchens?" she asked, a little glimmer of hope in her eyes. He grinned and said, "You're doing it again – using Legilimency –"
"Ugh," she grunted, shaking her head. Then a hesitant look came onto her face. "Er – actually, I'll just go back to the common room," she said, looking away. Nonplussed, he asked, "No, c'mon – some food will definitely make you feel happier –"
"It's not that," she said, clearly trying keep her tone even (though he detected an undercurrent of impatience in her voice), "It's just that – well –"
"What?" he pressed, and she faced him at last.
"You're not my boyfriend!" she burst out. At that, James raised his eyebrows… Not for lack of trying, he thought wryly. She continued irritably, "You're somebody else's boyfriend – and one doesn't go to someone else's boyfriend with their problems!"
"So?" he countered, "We're friends! And friends are always there for each other!"
"Olivia wouldn't like it, James," Lily said, and he snorted. "Ollie's cool," he reassured her, "She'll be fine – she knows that you and I are friends… Now, c'mon," he added. "Kitchens – let's get you some fruit trifle. Chop chop!"
Sighing, she shook her head and allowed him to shepherd her back into the castle. "The tower – it wasn't cold at all," James commented as they walked. "Your work, I presume?"
She nodded and said, "Warming Charm – and when you arrived, I covered you with it, too… Can't have you freeze to death, now, can we?"
"Nah – then who would be around to annoy you?" he said mischievously, and she snorted and said, "Not like you do that anymore, though…" She sounded almost wistful, and James resisted the urge to point out that it had been she who'd avoided him for the better part of the past two weeks, thanks to that business with their Patronuses. She's upset as it is, he thought, deciding to hold his tongue for now…
They made it to the kitchens, and the house-elves immediately offered them a large bowl of fruit trifle, as well as two steaming mugs of hot chocolate. They even managed to persuade Lily to take a box of cupcakes, undoubtedly after noticing that her eyes were the same shade as her hair, and that she looked upset… Kind souls they are, thought James admiringly. Thanking them, he guided Lily to the same room where they'd brewed the Widerwille Potion (it was becoming a sort of refuge spot for him, owing to the small number of people that knew of its existence), and they sat at the table there, facing each other.
"Well?" James prodded, after she'd taken two bites of her fruit trifle, "Spill it… What happened?"
"I-don't-want-to-talk-about-it," she said, her words coming out in a rush. James reached ahead to gently pat her shoulder and said, "Trust me – you'll feel better. Just like happiness has to be spread, sadness needs to be expressed, too… Otherwise, it just eats you up from within."
She gave him a sceptical glance, and he pressed gently, "C'mon – just tell me what happened."
She sighed. "Fine, I'll tell you," she said, relenting. "It went like this…"
XXXXX Lily's POV XXXXX
"C'mon – let's go there, we didn't go there the last time," said Adam as they walked, hand-in-hand, along the Main Street in Hogsmeade. Lily followed his gaze, and felt a little twinge of embarrassment; he was pointing to Madam Puddifoot's Teashop, which was notorious as the place where couples regularly went to. She nodded nonetheless; now that they were dating, she supposed that they'd have to go there sooner or later. She followed him up the side street into the little teashop, and looked around, cringing, as they entered; the interior was of a colour that seemed to be a cross between peach and baby pink, and the whole place seemed to be decorated with frills or bows. Valentine's Day was a few days ago, she thought distastefully as she gazed at the number of golden cherubs that hovered over each of the little circular tables and occasionally threw pink confetti over the occupants. Shaking her head, she followed Adam into a corner of the cramped teashop, carefully weaving her way through a mass of occupied tables and chairs.
"Right – what would you like?" Adam asked her brightly, glancing at the menu. "Look, there still seem to be some Valentine's Day specials – the 'Cupid Coffee', 'Tender Tea', 'Charming Chocolate', 'Mushy Milkshake' –"
"Ugh – I'm not drinking anything that says mushy," said Lily, wrinkling her nose distastefully. Really, what was Madam Puddifoot thinking? Mushy Milkshake, indeed, she thought with a derisive inward smile.
Adam grinned. "Fine – just coffee, then," he said, just as Madam Puddifoot arrived. "Happy Belated Valentine's Day, my dears," she said cheerfully, "What can I get you today?"
A ticket out of here, thought Lily wryly, but she held her tongue as Adam said, "Hmm – two Cupid Coffees, please." Madam Puddifoot nodded and gave them a perky wave before heading back to her station. "So, we're going with the specials?" Lily said with a slight smile, and Adam gave her a seductive sort of look. "Specials for the special," he declared, and she grinned widely despite herself, giving a mental sigh. How she wished things were different…
It hadn't really been the easiest month since school had restarted. First, over the holidays, she'd managed to cause James to blow a fuse after she'd (albeit delicately) told him what she thought of his new girlfriend. Then, Adam had told her that he'd effectively be living in Spain once he graduated from Hogwarts, and had even urged her to join him there once she graduated, too – something she wasn't particularly inclined to do at this stage. Luckily, she and James were back to talking now, but she could feel the distance between them. She hardly saw him anymore; she supposed that he spent as much time with Olivia Dunbar as she did with Adam. However, with Liz going out with Black and Remus being cooped up in the library for reasons unknown to her (she supposed that he was studying hard), Lily really missed the presence of James, whom she'd grown accustomed to in the first term of that year.
Then something had happened a fortnight ago that had just widened the gap between her and James. They'd been both able to successfully cast corporeal Patronuses in their DADA class, and much to her intense chagrin and confusion, his had been a stag while hers had been a doe – perfectly complementing each other. She'd hardly had time to wrap her head around that before she'd seen another doe – identical to hers – cast by none other than her former friend, Severus…
It had been too much, and she'd just decided to implicitly avoid James until she sorted out the muddle in her head. She'd been to the library to look it up, but hadn't found anything on complementing or identical Patronuses. Wanting to put it out of her mind, she'd sought refuge with Adam, spending almost every minute she could spare (aside from her lessons, studying, and Prefect duties) with him. However, that time hadn't quite been the blissful relaxation that she'd hoped for; they'd had a few more conversations on the war and his impending shift to Spain, and she'd somehow felt less and less satisfied as he'd talked of how the war had affected his plans and dreams. Everything isn't about you, she'd thought on at least two or three occasions…
That morning, she'd decided to confront him with her own opinions and notions about the war. She'd been hoping to do it privately, but he'd insisted on coming to this teashop after lunch, and she'd given in, deciding to talk to him later. It wasn't really a conversation she was looking forward to having; she disagreed with his views, and she had a feeling that he was going to take it as well as Skele-Gro.
"Lily – earth to Lily," came a voice, and she was promptly jolted back into the present as Adam waved his hand in front of her face. "Sorry," she said contritely, "I guess I got a little distracted – that Transfiguration essay on how to change hair colour non-verbally has got me a bit uptight… Owing to the fact that I have no idea how to do it." She looked away as she spoke, partly due to the embarrassment over the truth of that statement, and partly due to the lie regarding what she was distracted about.
"Don't worry – you'll get there," Adam said reassuringly, patting her hand. "If you like, we could go over it after we get back into the castle."
"That's – great, thanks, Adam," Lily said, relieved. Hmm… Maybe something good came out of the lie, she thought wryly. Deciding to give him her undivided attention, she said, "Sorry – you were saying?"
Madam Puddifoot arrived with their coffees at that very moment, and set down the cups in front of them. Lily noticed that the foam on the surface of her coffee was shaped like an angel with a bow and arrow, and miniature heart-shaped foam masses floated around the cup in a circular fashion. "Wow – this is pretty cute," she said with genuine admiration, and Madam Puddifoot gave her a dazzling smile and said, "For that, dear, you can get anything off the menu – at half-price. What would you like?"
"Really?" Lily asked her with a smile, her eyebrows raised. Madam Puddifoot nodded vigorously, and Lily took the menu once again… "D'you want to split the Croissant of Cheer, Adam?" she asked her boyfriend, who grinned and said, "Order two – one won't be enough."
"Done," said Lily, and Madam Puddifoot bowed to them before hurrying away. Turning back towards Adam, she said, "So – what were you saying?"
"I was just talking about how I got an answer from the Guerreros Keeper," he replied, a gleam in his eyes. "The bloke's thirty-five, he's going to retire next year, and his understudy is just twenty-two – so, I wrote to him to ask if he could give me a few tips, you know, here and there, to help me out as much as possible… And he replied! I mean, I wasn't expecting it, really… But wow, that felt so good! He said he'd be happy to assist me…"
Lily listened with a smile on her face, nodding along as he spoke so passionately about the sport he loved, but she wasn't really paying attention. There he goes, she thought resignedly… It wasn't that she minded Quidditch talk; indeed, her best friend, her best friend's boyfriend, and her other friends were guilty of it often, but she'd never had a problem with it. With Adam, however, the situation was different… His Quidditch talk acted as a constant reminder of how he was going to leave Britain after graduating from Hogwarts, indifferent towards the war that threatened to consume the British Wizarding world.
Perhaps he caught on to her growing disinterest, for he said, "Oh, and one more thing happened yesterday after Quidditch practice, when you were talking to Marlene."
"Really?" she asked, leaning forward. "What's that?"
"I was following James, Ollie, Sirius and Liz towards the changing rooms," he began, "When Sirius said, 'So, Jamie – did you see what Minchum had to say this morning?'"
Lily frowned; she was sure that he was talking about the Minister for Magic, Harold Minchum, and his latest announcement – that the number of Dementors in Azkaban would be increased by about fifty percent. "Was he talking about the Dementors?" she asked Adam nonetheless.
"Yup," said Adam grimly. "Sirius and James discussed that before Sirius said that he couldn't wait to graduate and join the fight against You-Know-Who himself."
"That sounds like Black, all right," she said, grinning slightly as she felt her respect for Sirius Black rise.
Adam snorted. "Him, a seventeen-year-old? What chance does a seventeen-year-old have against You-Know-Who?" he asked, a little disparagingly.
Lily frowned. "You're speaking as if he's going to go out looking for You-Know-Who," she said.
Adam snorted. "No, no – 'course not!" he said, waving a dismissive hand, "But then – James said that he couldn't wait either, and Liz echoed him… I remember shaking my head sceptically when I heard that." He shook his head, as if to demonstrate. "I mean, can you believe that? Seventeen-year-olds, joining the war?"
"Actually – I can," said Lily, struggling to control her irritation. Maybe now it's time to talk about it, she thought, sighing… After all, he's given me an opening himself!
Adam made a small, disbelieving noise. "C'mon, Lily," he said patiently, "Seventeen-year-olds, fighting an adult war? They'll get themselves killed!"
"But they'll go down fighting," Lily countered swiftly. "Look," she added as he opened his mouth to argue, "Wait – just hear me out, OK?" He nodded, and she continued, "They're right – in a year's time, it'll be our fight, too. And c'mon – if we don't fight, who will?"
"We're better off leaving it to the authorities," said Adam gently. "The Ministry, the Aurors – they'll handle it. There's no need for us to get killed – we'll just get in the way." He placed his hand on top of hers and squeezed it.
Lily wasn't about to give up, however. "What if we train hard?" she asked firmly. "Then we won't get in the way – we'll actually be able to help out and do something worthwhile!"
He remained silent, and she ploughed on, "And besides, there's more than one ways to contribute towards winning the war. For instance – one can learn to be a Healer at St Mungo's, and treat the injured. One can carry out research on new and more powerful spells and potions, which would undoubtedly benefit us – help us against You-Know-Who and his band of Death Eaters." She gazed at him steadily. "Like I said, multiple ways to help out."
"And you're seriously considering that?" he asked, unable to keep a note of disbelief out of his voice. She nodded slowly and said. "Why, yes – obviously."
There was a pause, as Madam Puddifoot brought their croissants. They thanked her and waited for her to leave before resuming their discussion. "But, Lily," said Adam softly, "C'mon – think about it. The Dark Side – they're targeting Muggleborns. Don't you feel you'd be safer – if you leave the country? I mean, the you wouldn't have to worry about this stupid war if you were on the Continent –"
"But don't you see?" Lily interrupted, no longer bothering to hide her irritation. "You said it yourself – they're attacking Muggleborns, which makes this personal for me." She surprised even herself with the force in her voice. "Dammit, Adam – that's reason enough for me to stay and join the fight!" she exclaimed.
"You don't have to," he said, still in that annoyingly calm way, but his grip over her hand tightened. "Come with me – once you graduate, come away to Spain, away from this bleak environment where you'll have to constantly keep looking over your shoulder. You'll be safe there."
"I know," Lily said tersely. "The question, however, is – do I want to come to Spain? Do I want to leave Britain, a place where people like me are being targeted, tortured and killed?" She paused, and looked at him intensely. He didn't look away, and she continued, "Well – the answer is, no. I can't just sit around when this – injustice – is so prevalent in our world. And I'm going to help – as long as I have the ability to do it."
There was a silence, where they continued to stare at each other. Lily studied his grey eyes, which gave nothing away… She marvelled at how well he was hiding his emotions. At last, he said, "So – you've made your choice, then."
"Yeah – just like you," she replied softly, and he raised his eyebrows. "Don't you think this is something you should've run by me first?" he asked, frowning.
Lily felt her temper rise, but she merely took a deep breath and said softly, "Well – did you?"
"Er – no," he admitted, "But c'mon – it was very soon after we started to go out, and I didn't think I should've run decisions like playing for the Guerreros by you before I made them!"
"You're right – you shouldn't have," she agreed. "Just like I shouldn't need to run any of my decisions by you before I make them."
"This is different," he said, speaking a little fast, "This is a question of life and death –"
"Yes," said Lily impatiently, "And if people like us run away, who will be left to fight?"
"Run away?" he echoed, frowning. "What are you saying? I'm going to Spain to pursue my dream – not running away!" He looked suitably affronted, and Lily sought to make amends. "Look, I'm not saying that you're running away," she said reassuringly. I'm thinking it, though, she added dryly to herself. "You have your dreams, and I respect that," she continued, "As do I – but I want to stay and fight the war before I follow my dreams. And forgive me, but I just think that given the circumstances, leaving the country to follow a career in Quidditch doesn't seem like the right thing to do to me."
There, she'd said it. It had come out to be a little more bluntly than she'd intended it to be, but she didn't regret it… I took a leaf out of James's book, she thought. Dammit – the bugger's starting to grow on me…
"But, Lily," said Adam feelingly, "C'mon – you can't fault me for wanting to follow my dreams!"
"I'm not," said Lily quickly, "I'm just saying – there's a time and place for following one's dreams!"
"Which, for me, is now – and in Spain," he countered.
There was a pause, following which Lily withdrew her hand and gave a scornful laugh. She couldn't believe what she was hearing… "Y'know, James is an excellent Quidditch player himself," she said, struggling to keep the contempt out of her voice. "And yet, like you pointed out a few minutes ago, he's going to join the fight. All I was saying is, why aren't you?"
"Because it's not our fight," said Adam softly. "The authorities –"
"I don't care about the authorities!" Lily exclaimed, before realizing she'd been a bit too loud; people were staring at them. She lowered her voice and said, "Look – authorities and Aurors aside, who else is there? What if, tomorrow, You-Know-Who decides to attack the Ministry and kill everybody in one shot? What then?"
"The Ministry has several protective enchantments," he responded, and she rolled her eyes. "Not the point," she said with forced calm, "What I'm saying is, what if everyone decides to leave the country tomorrow, saying it's not their war to fight? Isn't that a little – I dunno – cowardly?"
There, she'd said it again – no mincing of words; just her opinion, straight and simple. She waited for him to react; his face was again inscrutable, but his eyes were hard. "Are you inferring that I'm a coward?" he asked, and his voice was cold.
She shook her head. "No – but I implied it," she said, a little disdainfully. She couldn't believe that their disagreement had come to this – that she'd lost so much respect for him in such a short span of time. "You inferred that yourself," she added.
"You're being unfair," he said frigidly.
"Maybe I am," she replied tersely. She wasn't sure what else to say; in her head, she was weighing if she could visualize some sort of future with him – would she shift to Spain in a year's time, while her friends joined the battle against You-Know-Who? Could she even stomach the fact that they'd be risking their lives every day, while she basked in the warm Spanish sun? The answer was quite obvious to her… "You're free to follow your dreams, Adam," she added gently, "But – don't expect me to be a part of them."
It's the right thing to do, she told herself. She didn't want to stand in his way, and if he couldn't understand her position, there really was no point for them to be together, was there? Better to end it before I get in too deep, she thought firmly.
"Are we splitting up?" Adam asked softly, his grey eyes intense.
She sighed, and stood up. She had absolutely no intention to cause a scene. "You're a good person, Adam," she said delicately, "And someday, you're going to make some girl very happy. Unfortunately – that's not me."
She stood up and withdrew a few Sickles from her pocket. He remained seated; he looked like he was in shock, for his eyes were wide, and his mouth was slightly open. Still, he mustered the will to say, "So – who do you think will make you happy?" There was an undercurrent of anger in his voice as he asked, "James?"
Lily paused and thought about that for a second. James had Quidditch-related dreams, too. He was intelligent, brave, and chivalrous… He was going to fight the war, and he too had the courage to put his dreams on hold, just like her. Would he – actually make her happy? Was he the correct person for her to be with?
Aloud, she said, "I dunno – but it doesn't matter. The important thing is, you won't." She regretted her harshness immediately, and added in a gentler tone, "Goodbye, Adam… See you around, I guess – or not."
She placed the Sickles in her hand on the table, and with a final regretful glance at her (now-ex) boyfriend, walked out of the cramped teashop with her head held high. She didn't pause to see if he was following her, but began to sprint towards the castle, her mind in a turmoil as she ran. Had she made the right decision? Had she been unfair, or unreasonable, or hasty even? Was she being rash and impulsive – which was quite unlike her?
She didn't stop running until she arrived into the Entrance Hall. Not feeling particularly hungry, she made straight for her dormitory, barely acknowledging a couple of second-years as they shyly waved to her. She threw herself on her bed – and let the tears fall. Oh, he was such a nice bloke – a real catch. Why couldn't they see eye-to-eye on something that was so important to her?
She didn't know how long she stayed there, but the gradual rumble of noise told her that the other students were slowly returning to the castle. Not wanting to speak to Liz and the others just yet (especially after their presumably blissful Valentine's Day dates), Lily cast a powerful Disillusionment Charm over herself and made her way towards the Astronomy tower. She didn't know how long she remained there, staring into the distance over the balustrade, her mind still undecided on whether she'd made the right decision…
She lifted her Disillusionment Charm and cast a Warming Charm around herself as the air grew steadily colder. She wished she had someone she could talk to… But she didn't feel like facing anyone just yet. And so, she remained there, taking savage pleasure in sending away at least four couples (who had obviously arrived at the tower to engage in amorous activities) from the tower. Love was in the air, all right – but she could do without it in the air around her, thank you very much.
She stood there, lost in thought and letting her tears fall occasionally, until she heard yet another set of footsteps. A sideways glance told her that it was someone very familiar, and she gazed back into the distance again, waiting for him to come to her…
"Hi, Lily," came the warm voice of James Potter, and she turned to face him, watching his smile fade as he clearly saw her upset visage…
XXXXX End of Lily's POV XXXXX
"And that's that," said Lily, finishing the last of her trifle. "I mean, don't get me wrong, he's a nice bloke and all – but with all the stuff happening in Britain right now, I think that every able witch or wizard should join the fight against You-Know-Who. I'm sorry," she added, holding up her hands, "I know I'm being unreasonable, and I can't make other people's decisions for them – but that's just how I feel."
James just stared at her, feeling a mix of emotions – disbelief at the strength of her resolve, derision with Adam Wright's thought process, but most importantly, he felt proud of her – proud of the way she had stood her ground, articulating her thoughts clearly and completely. He couldn't help it; a little grin came to his face. She's strong, he thought. Very strong indeed…
Lily was watching him a little piteously. "Say something, James," she said, "Don't just sit there – am I being too harsh? I mean, I'm all for people following their dreams – but this war, it's so much bigger than our dreams, isn't it? Until there's safety, security and stability in the Magical world, we can't follow our dreams the way we want… And if I can do anything – yes, anything – to help, I will!"
Again, her words rang with conviction, and James grinned. "I couldn't agree more," he said brightly. "I agree – dreams are important – but you're right. At this point, there is a bigger purpose to our lives than simply follow our own dreams. Well said, Lily."
She gave him an uncertain sort of smile, before tapping his hand lightly. "See?" she said softly. "I knew you'd agree with me… And I'm glad you do, it just goes to show that I'm not mental!"
He chuckled and pulled a mock-thoughtful expression. "Well, on that front –" he started to say, but she gave him a little smack on his hand. "Stop it," she said, laughing. There was a pause, following which she said, "I've missed this – we used to have fun, James… But then, you don't come jogging anymore, and I hardly see you these days." She lowered her gaze, staring resolutely at her hand which rested on top of his.
James sighed. "I've missed this too," he said, and the truth of that statement hit him as he spoke… It was true, they hadn't really talked much since school had restarted after the Christmas holidays. "What with our odd Patronuses – which means nothing, by the way, I checked in the library," he added, and she looked disbelieving and relieved at the same time; he grinned and said, "I really did – doesn't mean anything." Her face relaxed, and he felt a little twinge of happiness… He didn't know why he was lying to her; of course, he had done no research on identical Patronuses, but he just wanted to put the recent awkwardness past them.
"But yeah," he continued, "I guess we've been a little busy with our own lives, dating different people and all…"
"How's it going with Olivia?" she asked. "I hope your Valentine's Day date went better than mine, but that really isn't saying much." The familiar dry tone was evident, and James gave her a placating sort of smile. It was time to tell her something that had been on his mind for quite some time now…
"Er – I wanted to talk to you about something, Lily," he began, "And I need you to promise me that you won't get angry." She raised her eyebrows but nodded, indicating for him to continue.
"I want you to give Ollie a chance," he said baldly. She opened her mouth to (presumably) argue, but he ploughed on quickly, "Look – she's trying really hard to be friends with you, and I'd appreciate it if you were at least nice to her. I was nice to Adam, wasn't I? Then why can't you do the same?"
Lily frowned, and James could see that she was thinking hard; indeed, she appeared to choose her words carefully as she replied, "C'mon, James – it's not like that –"
"Really?" he said sceptically. "I mean, look – she's going out of her way to befriend you… She coughed up a few Sickles for that watch you're wearing –" he glanced at the watch in question, "—which is something she really, really didn't have to do. She probably thinks the world of you, too – always credits you with helping her learn the Stunning Spell."
"I –" Lily started to say, but he interrupted her again. "Look, I have an inkling of your opinion of her. What I'm asking is – as my friend, I want you to please, please give her the benefit of the doubt. Can't you do this for me? For your friend?" He gazed at her steadily, and she blushed and lowered her eyes. There was a silence, following which she said, "Fine. For you – I'll try to get to know her… Even be friends with her, maybe… But just for you." She gave him an intense sort of look, and he grinned at her. "That's all I'm asking," he said, and she rolled her eyes. "Fine, then," she said nevertheless, "But like I said – only for you."
"I'm honoured," he said sarcastically, and Lily chuckled and slapped his arm lightly. "Feeling better?" he added, and she gave him a little smile. "Yeah," she said simply, and he grinned. "I'm glad," he said, standing up, "Now – let's go back to the common room… I think you should just go to bed, you'll be back to normal tomorrow."
Lily nodded and stood up, taking the box of cupcakes. "Yeah, maybe," she said, sounding doubtful, and James quickly put an arm around her shoulders. "Trust me – you will," he said reassuringly, "Sleep acts like a natural cure for everything – disease, injury, illness – and broken hearts, too, for that matter…" It was true, after all; James always felt refreshed after a good night's sleep. He despised taking potions for healing injuries or sickness, but with their full moon excursions and inevitable accidental scratches from Moony, he'd grudgingly begun to carry a bottle of dittany around with him ever since he'd become an Animagus.
"Oh, is that so?" Lily countered as they walked along the passage and back into the corridor where it originated. "You should tell that to the St Mungo's Healers – that they should tell all their patients to just sleep it off, that they'll be fine by morning." James grinned at that; he was relieved that she seemed to be regaining some of her cheer, at least. "Fine," he conceded, "Maybe not for all injuries and illnesses –"
"You should take a nap soon – might cure you of your idiocy –"
"Oh, ha ha – but last I checked, idiocy wasn't an illness, but something one can't help –"
"There, you said it yourself – you're a permanent idiot –"
"Hark who's talking! You're the one who was dating Wright –"
Lily suddenly stopped, and James regretted his words at once. Too soon, the voice in his brain chided. "It was a joke," he said quickly, looking at her in a pleading sort of way, "I really am an idiot… Please, don't be angry – it was just a joke –"
Then – something unexpected happened; Lily began to laugh. She laughed so hard that tears began to roll out of her eyes, and after a few seconds, James joined in – relieved that she hadn't taken offence to his comment, and happy with how light-heartedly she was guffawing. It was looking like she'd put the whole Wright debacle behind her quite soon…
Lily's laughter subsided at last, and she said, "Well, that one was funny – 'coz it's true! God, I feel like such a fool!"
"It's no problem to feel what you really are," James deadpanned, and immediately received a punch from her. He stepped backwards, laughing, as Lily said, "Ironic that it's coming from you, of all people – don't you remember your behaviour last year?"
James sobered up at once, and Lily gave him an impish grin that was quite unlike her usual smile; rather, it was a lopsided sort of smirk, the kind he'd seen several times on Sirius's face. "All too well," he said, a little regretfully, "But I'm not that person anymore… At least, I'm not that much of an a –"
"I know," she interrupted, and patted his arm lightly. "I know," she said again, and with a nod of her head, began to walk back towards their common room. Shaking his head slightly, he followed her, deep in thought…
She split up with Adam, he thought. She's single again… Where does that leave me?
You know very well where that leaves you, the annoying voice in his head said. It doesn't matter that she's single – not like you're going to drop Ollie like a hot potato, are you?
He paused. No, he thought… I have a good thing going with Ollie – makes no sense to mess that up, does it? I want to see where it goes – I think I genuinely like Ollie. And besides, what's the guarantee that Lily would say yes if I acted like a wanker and asked her out after splitting up with Ollie right at this moment?
Exactly, said the voice in his brain. For once, we agree on something…
"James?" came Lily's voice, and he immediately shook himself from his internal battle. "Yeah?" he said, a little distractedly.
"Nothing – I was just – nah, forget it," she said, and continued walking.
"What?" James asked curiously, jogging a little to catch up with her.
"Er – well – here's the thing," she said, and there was a little blush on her face. "Er – I'm having problems with non-verbal Human Transfiguration, and I was, er, wondering if –"
"I'd help you out?" he said, and she nodded before looking away in slight embarrassment. He grinned; he knew how much she hated to admit that she wasn't very good at something, and he had an inkling of how much of an effort it would've taken her just to ask him for help.
"Of course," he said, and the relief on Lily's face was clearly visible. He rolled his eyes and said, "Oh, c'mon – you don't have to think twice to ask for a favour from me, we're friends, remember?"
"Yeah – but I know that you're busy," she replied, "You have Quidditch practice as well, aside from lessons –"
"Irrelevant," he interrupted, "If you need help, all you have to do is ask. Since you're my friend – you have the right to do that." He looked into her emerald-green eyes as he spoke, and was buoyed to see the happiness in them.
"Thanks, James," she said softly, "I didn't want to take liberties with you – and I assure you, I wouldn't be asking if it weren't terribly important –"
James made a dismissive noise and said, "Please – I'd do anything for you. I'd do anything for my friends, for that matter – like you all did for me at the end of last year…"
At that, she gave his hand a gentle squeeze, before letting go and blinking rather rapidly in confusion. Before James could say a word, however, they came up to the Fat Lady, and Lily quickly gave the password; the portrait swung open to let them in, and he followed her into the common room.
"There you are," came a familiar voice, and Ollie walked up to him and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, before frowning slightly at Lily, though it was more in confusion than irritation. Lily's eyes widened, and she shook her head vigorously and said, "Oh – no, no, no, James and I were just talking, Ollie –"
Ollie's brow relaxed at once, and she gave Lily a dazzling smile. "Er – what?" Lily asked, clearly a little discomfited.
"Nothing – that's the first time you've called me Ollie," said Ollie, and James's heart rose at once. It looked like Lily was going to be as good as her word, and he mentally thanked her for it. Lily smiled uncertainly and said, "Er, sorry, everyone else does, so I thought –"
"No, it's fine, you can call me that," Ollie interrupted, grinning, and Lily grinned back at her. "Well – 'Night," she said, and nodded to James before going off in the direction of the girls' dormitories. Ollie watched her retreating back before saying softly to James, "Is she OK?"
"She will be," said James reassuringly, believing it himself. "Anyway," he added, turning to her, "Stroll?" He indicated the portrait hole. Ollie grinned and said, "It's a little past curfew – so if we get caught, you're going to have to do my detention."
"Deal," said James, and Ollie gave him a little wink before allowing him to lead her out of the common room. James wondered where the rest of his friends were, before realising that most of them were now in relationships… Well, one less, he thought, mentally grinning to himself. He'd never really liked Adam ever since the latter had unwittingly barged into one of his and Lily's daily jogging sessions… And while the bloke was an excellent Keeper, James couldn't help but feel a little happy that he and Lily had split up. A girl like Lily deserves better than a coward like him, he thought…
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"So, we ready?" asked Sirius, a smile of anticipation on his face. James grinned and said, "Yes – ready when you are!"
"Me, too," said Peter, and they all looked at Remus, who shrugged. "I think we should go over it one more time," he said, and the other three let out identical sighs of exasperation.
"Oh, for Heaven's sake, Moony," said Sirius impatiently, "Don't be such a pain in the a –"
"I think it is important that we do," interrupted Remus stubbornly, "C'mon – just so that we know we haven't missed anything – and remember, there's still room for error, since this procedure is not in any library book… So, really, we're sort of shooting in the dark here –"
"Fine," James cut across him swiftly, "Fine – have it your way, Moony. Go ahead… Narrate the procedure, one last time."
Remus nodded and smirked slightly before saying, "Good – I'm glad we're being meticulous and thorough about this. Now, let's start…"
They were seated in the same room where James and Lily had brewed the Widerwille Potion, or the 'Widerwille Chamber' as Sirius had dubbed it. James knew that the Selective Locking Spell they'd all used on the door would make sure that they had privacy; however, the Spell wore off in twenty-four hours, which meant that it had to be performed by at least one of them every day. Back in their fourth year, James had come to that room every day to refresh the Spell, so that he and Lily could continue using that room… Nonetheless, it was a good thing that very few people knew of its existence.
"Right," said Remus, and James immediately focused his attention on him. "First, we mapped the castle… We were able to map the entire castle accurately, and that has been triple-checked."
"Yes," said Sirius, "Go on, Your Highness."
James and Peter chortled as Remus chose to ignore Sirius's comment. "Second, we have practised the Homunculus Spell… All of us can do it. Right, Wormtail?" he added to Peter, who nodded and said, "Yup – took me a while, but I got it. The parchment I was practising on – it showed my position with respect to the room I was in, so I know I got it… I dunno if it'll work for the entire castle, though." He sounded doubtful. "I could barely learn it for a room as it is!"
"It will, Pete," said James reassuringly. "The only important thing here is that all of us need to do it at the same time – so that its effects are maximised, see? It's a rule for the Spell to work – it'll only work if all the people who made the map use it."
"Precisely what I was going to say," said Remus, grinning at James. "See? It's good that we're going over this, isn't it?"
"Sure, whatever you say, Moony," said James sardonically, and Remus shook his head before continuing, "Yes – and the final step: the Pittachius Spell… It'll label all the people on the map, so that they're visible as little ink dots."
James nodded purposefully; the Pittachius Spell had been a useful discovery of Remus's. "Hang on," he said as something occurred to him, "What if someone finds this map? We need to be able to wipe it blank –"
"We know how to do that, mate," interrupted Sirius, "Flitwick taught us the Charm to wipe a roll of parchment blank last month –"
"I know," said James earnestly, "But – I think it has to be a phrase, not a Charm, so that only the ones who know how to wipe it blank can do so. Oh, and come to think of it, we should have a phrase for the parchment to activate the map, too…"
"That's a good point, Prongs," agreed Sirius. "In fact, I think it's more important than wiping it blank… So, how about we think of a sentence to unlock the map?" He rubbed his hands in enthusiasm.
"Er – even if we do have such a phrase, how do we set it for the map?" Peter asked, looking a little doubtful. At that, Remus smiled and said, "Oh, don't worry, Pete – it's just like setting the password for the common room, and I know how to do that 'coz a Prefect taught me."
"Wicked – does that mean you can change the password to the common room? Oh, that would be fun!" Sirius exclaimed eagerly. "Imagine – just the four of us, the only ones in the common room…"
"I can see why you aren't a Prefect," said Remus dryly. "You would've just abused your privileges…"
"I'm glad I'm not," said Sirius fervently, "It would've taken the fun out of life!"
"I hate to interrupt," said James, clearly feeling that they'd digressed a little, "But now that we know how to do it, shouldn't we actually – er, do it?"
"As soon as we think of a phrase, mate," said Sirius. "Let's see – how about, 'Show me the castle?'"
"Nah, too obvious," said Remus. "Needs to be something obscure –"
"And needs to highlight the purpose of the map, too," said James, nodding. "Like – 'We're the kings of cartography?'"
Sirius snorted and said, "Pathetic, James – you can do better than that."
"I know," said James, grinning; even in his head, the words sounded stupid.
"I think I have it," said Peter, and they all turned to look at him. "Something like – 'I swear I'm up to mischief?'"
"That's good, that is," said Sirius, "I'll make it better – how about, 'I solemnly swear that I am up to no good?'"
They all burst into laughter, and Remus said, "Yup – that's it, that's perfect. Good one, Peter!" Peter nodded, grinning, as Sirius elbowed Remus, who responded with a smack on the other boy's head. Sirius gave him a little push, and Remus retaliated by messing up Sirius's hair, causing him to yell, "Oh, you'll pay for that, Moony!"
"I have the perfect phrase for wiping the map clean," said James in a quelling sort of way, before the situation could escalate any further, "How about – 'Mischief managed!'"
"That's – much better than your last attempt, James," said Sirius, and James grinned. Remus laughed and said, "Well, then – now that that's settled, let's get down to business." James nodded and produced the bit of parchment he'd been carrying carefully in his pocket, gazing at it proudly as he observed the carefully chalked-out Hogwarts castle.
"Ready?" said Remus, drawing his wand. They all followed suit, and Remus added, "On three, then… One – two – three!"
"Homunculus!" they all shouted, and waited, with fervent anticipation… James felt a jolt of excitement as ink dots began to appear on the map; he counted at least twenty on their floor as he observed it eagerly. He found the chamber they were sitting in, and to his enormous relief and satisfaction, he saw what he'd been hoping to see… There were four dots there, right about where they were sitting.
"And now – the Pittachius Spell," said Remus, and they all raised their wands. "This is an easy spell – no practice," Remus added, "On three, then… One – two – three!"
"Pittachius!" they all yelled in unison, and the effect was immediate. The four dots, hitherto unlabelled, were now labelled as 'James Potter', 'Sirius Black', 'Peter Pettigrew' and 'Remus Lupin'. They had done it.
"Yeah! It works!" Sirius yelled jubilantly, and exchanged overhead claps with the others. James performed a little jig in celebration, much to the amusement of his friends… "Hang on, we're not done yet," said Remus. "Come back here – we still need to configure the activating and blanking phrases into it!"
"Ahh, you can do that, Moony," said James lazily, "Go ahead – we'll watch."
Remus shook his head but obeyed nonetheless; after about a minute of muttering something under his breath, he said, "There, that should do it. The map will only respond to the phrases I just added – anything else, it will just remain blank. Who wants to try it?"
"Me," said Sirius at once; he tapped the map once with his wand and said, "Mischief managed!"
The result was as expected; the map went blank at once. James raised his wand with a triumphant smile and said, "All right! Now – reveal your secret!" He tapped the map smartly with his wand, but it resolutely stayed blank. "Excellent," said James appreciatively, "Now – let me activate it… I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good." He tapped the parchment with his wand once again, and ink slowly spread across it until it showed the map once more, complete with ink dots for all people inside the castle.
"All right! Well done, Moony!" exclaimed James, clapping his friend's back. Remus grinned at him just as Peter said, "Hang on – let me try it, too." He went through the motions, and the parchment became blank and showed the map at his command. "OK – it works," he said, beaming as he handed the parchment back to James.
"Well – now that the map has passed the great Peter Pettigrew check –" said Sirius, and Peter stuck his tongue out at him, "—I think we should do one more thing. How about – we sign the map with our nicknames? Like Padfoot, Prongs, Moony and Wormtail?"
"Why are you first?" James asked at once, and Sirius shrugged. "Alphabetically, mate," he said, giving James a little wink.
"I dunno what alphabet you follow, Padfoot," said Remus, scratching his chin with a mock-thoughtful expression, "But – 'M' comes before 'P' –"
"Dammit, I was hoping you wouldn't notice," said Sirius, and James grinned. "Maybe we can toss a coin," he suggested, drawing a Galleon from his pocket. "Right – first toss is between Moony and Padfoot – blank or number, call it!" He tossed the coin up, just as Sirius shouted, "Blank!"
The coin landed with its serial number up, and Remus said, "Ha! I win!"
"Bloody coin," cursed Sirius as he snatched it from James. "Right, then – James and Pete, one of you call it!" He tossed the coin as Peter called, "Blank!" – this time, the coin landed with its blank side up. "I guess I win too," said Peter happily. "Let's continue, then," said Sirius, tossing it between Remus and Peter this time.
Five minutes later, Remus had finished signing the map, which now read:
Messrs Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs
Purveyors of Aids to Magical Mischief-Makers
Are proud to present
THE MARAUDERS' MAP
"Nicely done, Moony," said James admiringly. "I like the second line –"
"'Course you do, you asked me to put it there," said Remus with a roll of his eyes. James grinned. "You know that's right," he said happily, as Sirius and Peter guffawed. Remus shook his head and stood up.
"Right – well, I have to go for patrols now, so you three be good," he said, "And watch me on the map – when I come back, I'll narrate all the places I went to, and if you saw me go there, we know that the map works for sure!"
"OK," said James, "Say hi to Lily for me!"
Remus gave him an indulgent nod, and walked out of the room with a little wave to the rest of them. "Right, James," said Sirius, "I've been meaning to ask you something."
"What?" James asked curiously.
Sirius hesitated before saying, "Er – now that Wright and Evans aren't together anymore, what are you going to do? Are you going to wait for a while before chasing Evans once more?"
Wow, he dived right in, thought James. Aloud, he said, "Nah – why would you think that? I'm enjoying spending time with Ollie – and besides, I'm over Lily, anyway."
Sirius's face relaxed, but Peter looked unconvinced. "Are you, though?" he asked James, who frowned.
"Yes," he said forcefully, and Peter shrank back slightly. "It's just – well, you were pretty upset when she started dating Wright, and that was only a few months ago, so I figured it wouldn't hurt to check," he said nevertheless.
"Don't worry, mate – I'm over her," repeated James reassuringly, even believing it for a second. The truth was, he hadn't really evaluated his feelings about Lily ever since she'd broken down crying in his arms, about a week ago. But he was quite content with Ollie, and he wasn't going to mess that up for some admittedly false hopes…
"All right, then," said Sirius, clapping him on the back. He turned to the map, and said, "OI, look – Remus has met Evans, and they're commencing their patrol. Blimey, this thing works! We actually did it!"
"Yeah," said James, smiling in satisfaction.
"You know what this means, don't you?" Peter asked gleefully. "No more scouting!"
"Hey, that's right!" Sirius exclaimed. "Great – I can't wait to use this for the next full moon… When is that, now?"
"In about ten days," said Peter, "I checked."
James just smiled as the other two began to plan next month's adventure. He could see that the Marauders' Map was going to be a very useful thing, indeed… About as useful as his Invisibility Cloak, definitely. Oh, it's going to be fun, he thought cheerfully. He felt proud of their efforts in creating something so handy…
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Author's Note: Well, this was a bit of an experiment, with a Lily POV scene inside a James POV chapter. Did you like it? Leave your answers in the reviews!
