Chapter 11

RPOV

'What did you just say Rose?' asked Lissa

'I said, it cost me my guardian title. I can never be a guardian again Liss. It was either that and a fine, or jail time'

'But... your Abe's guardian? She asked.

'Well yes and no. Abe has hired me as his guardian, but it's not official with Court. As far as the Queen is concerned, I am no longer a guardian, and I never will be. Not for you, or Adrian, or Mia, or Christian. No-one. My days of officially guarding anyone are over'

'And that's why you didn't come back isn't it. You didn't want me to know that you couldn't be a guardian. That's why you felt ashamed?' asked Lissa.

'Yeah, it is' I said hanging my head. Then I felt Lissa's arms wrap around me.

'You stupid, silly girl, why in the world would you think I would think less of you' said Lissa. 'And you have no reason to be ashamed. If anything, I am ashamed of the world we live in'

'I'm so sorry, I was scared. My life fell apart in those months and I couldn't be near anyone. I'm really sorry. To all of you, I'm really sorry' I mumbled with tears falling down my cheeks.

I took the time then to turn to Adrian. I had noticed how quiet he was and when I looked at his face, I was confused. He looked more pained than any of them.

'Adrian, are you ok?' I asked.

He looked at me for a few more minutes before he finally spoke. It was like he was trying to gather his thoughts together, or put the missing pieces of a puzzle together.

'It was that night wasn't it. The night it happened was the night I dream walked you and we had that fight' he said, sounding like he was close to tears.

'Don't Adrian. Don't do this to yourself. Please!' I wanted to say more, but he cut me off.

'Answer me Rose' he yelled. Wow, he really is pissed. He never calls me Rose!

'It wasn't the night it happened, but it was the night that your Aunt took away my guardianship. To me, it was like being tortured all over again. Guarding has been my life for so long. And I know it was wrong of me to take it out on you, and say the things I said, you are nothing like any of your family. But I really felt like I had lost absolutely everything at that point. I felt like I had nothing to live for anymore. I'm so sorry for everything I said to you that night Adrian' I cried.

Without even realising what I was doing, as I was talking to him, I pulled my sleeves down to cover the scars on my arms, thinking about how close I came to losing my life that night and many nights since then. Adrian saw me and instantly grabbed my arm. I started shaking my head, trying to tell him not to say anything. But it was too late. Everyone else had seen and heard what happened.

'Lil Dhampir, please don't tell me you cut yourself. Please don't tell me you tried to take your own life' Adrian begged. He kept shaking his head like he couldn't believe it. He came over and grabbed my arm, pulling my sleeve away to reveal the scars properly. I just looked at the ground with my tears falling. I could feel absolute shock through the bond. I couldn't even look at Dimitri to see what he thought.

'I'm so sorry Adrian; I just couldn't take it anymore. I'd lost Dimitri, I'd been sent away, I'd been violated in every way imaginable and then I had the one thing that still meant the world to me, taken away. Even after everything they did to me, I still defended them Adrian, and your Aunt still felt I didn't deserve to be a guardian anymore. I could have and should have let the Strigoi take him' I yelled 'and to top it all off, I lost one of my best friends that night' the last part came out in a whisper.

'No lil dhampir, don't you ever be sorry. And you could never let Strigoi take anyone's life willingly. To this day, I truly believe you would still defend them, because that's the person you are. You always put your life on the line for other people, even those that don't deserve it. God knows what the hell my aunt was thinking, stripping you of your guardian title. I knew there was something wrong with you that night. I should have looked more closely instead of getting so angry straight away. I should have been there for you. Rose, I'm so sorry I couldn't protect you' he cried pulling me into his arms.

We stood there crying into each other for a couple of minutes, before I awkwardly pulled out of his embrace.

I don't think anyone knew what to say after that. The silence was deafening and getting uncomfortable. And all this crying made me suddenly extremely tired. I didn't know if any of them would still want to be around me tomorrow, so I should have stayed with them longer, but if I didn't get into a bed very quickly, I was going to collapse.

'I'm so glad you all gave me the chance to tell you what really happened. I really hope you can all understand why I left and why it's taken me so long to come back. I understand if you go back to Court tonight and don't want to see me anymore. I've lied to all of you, and for that I'm truly sorry. Just know how much I love you all and I always will, regardless of what happens from here. Right now though, I really need to sleep, otherwise I am going to collapse right here. We'll still be here until nightfall tomorrow, so please feel free to come and see me if you can and want too. I love you guys' I said and I walked away before they could say anything else. I couldn't handle hearing anything else right now.

Caleb, seeing how much I was stumbling, came and grabbed onto my arm, supporting me as we walked up to the room, and tucked me into bed.

'Marie, I don't even know what to say. I knew something bad happened with your charge, but I never imagined how bad it was. I'm so sorry you had to go through all of that, I really am. I wish I had of been there to protect you. But I am here now, and NO ONE will ever hurt you like that ever again. Ok'

'Thanks Cal, I appreciate your support. And you have protected me. You have protected me from myself and kept me alive. I am so thankful for having you in my life. I'm ok now, I've pulled through it. Yeah I have the scars, I always will. But I wouldn't be here right now with you if it hadn't happened, so something good did come out of it' I said hugging him and giving him a small smile.

'I'll always be here for you lil sis. Now get some sleep. I will be here with you ok. I won't leave' he said

'Thanks Cal' I mumbled, but I don't know if he understood because I was already giving in to sleep.

CPOV (Caleb)

I can't believe what Rose has been through. I knew it was bad, but I didn't realise it was that bad. I hate them all right now for making her talk like that, but I know deep down she wanted them to know. For two years she has been questioned over and over by people about what happened and she's never told them anything, yet within half an hour of being back with them, she tells them everything.

I sit here next to her bed watching her, and I am amazed at how strong she really is. Not a lot of people could have pulled through something as bad as that, yet here she is. I know it's been touch and go quite a few times, but I think with the help of those people out there, she might finally move on from it all. The nightmares might stop and she might finally start eating again. I know they were shocked seeing her tonight. She is a shadow of the person she was when they last saw her. I just hope they do stick around.

Knock Knock. Who in the world could that be?

'Hey Cal, it's Nicola, let me in' i got up and opened the door to Rose's room.

'What's up?' I asked.

'Lissa's friends are downstairs, they want to speak to you' she said.

'Ok no problems, thanks' I looked back at Rose and she was sound asleep. If I left now, I should get back before tonight's nightmare's start.