11: Heart Attacks And Bitterness
I groaned, the first sign of life. Squinting my eyes open, I noticed I was human. Oh joy... Leaning forward, I figured out that I was in the Medical Bay, my second home, heh. I was sleeping on a bed, but now I was awake... So what was I doing here?
"You're awake," someone sighed with relief. I turned my head to see the ever-so familiar face of Sebastian.
I snorted, "Either that or I am sleep...sitting."
"Oh, you and your way of words," Sebastian laughed, sitting on my bed gently. I felt a small tingle of redness erupt on my face but was determined to keep it shy. "Seriously, how are you feeling?"
"Hm?" I turned my attention back to the conversation. I grunted softly, "Painful."
"I was sure you were having a seizure, or a heart attack," Sebastian rose both of his eyebrows, but not in a sarcastic, cold way, more in a worried or regretful way.
"I probably was," I shrugged, "I was not paying attention."
Sebastian shook his head, exasperated, "Everyone thought you were dying, it was pretty serious."
I glanced sideways, not sure whether to listen or not, "It was not serious," I lied.
"I can hear the tremble in your voice," Sebastian narrowed his eyes, "You need to tell me what's happening, Larissa, I'm not a mind-reader."
I bit my lip nervously; I could not tell him. If I told anyone, they would surely fear me and hide. I looked at my clenched hands and pretended to study them.
"Larissa, please," Sebastian grabbed one of my hands gently. My eyes widened in surprise and a common blush heated my cheeks. He held it, looking concerned and a little pleased. He scooted forward, barely, and brushed his thumb against my cheek, tilting my head ever so slightly so he could look into my human eyes. "I only want to know if you're okay."
"I-I am fine," I stammered, the heat radiating terribly from my human face. Damn these mundane emotions. I think the only thing I could hear was my heart. It pumped louder; threatening to climb up past my throat.
His face appeared to be softer as he leaned in slightly. I did not know what to do. I panicked, leaning in slightly, but only because my back was hurting. He took this the wrong way and put his other hand at the back of my head. I glanced up at him, heart beating faster; if possible.
"Well, isn't this a sweet moment," came laughter. I think both of our eyes widened, and Sebastian jolted back, eyebrows sky-rocket. I just coughed and coughed, pretending to be ill...Again.
I looked to the side to see Logan by the door. Typical! "Hey...Logan," I muttered.
"Hey kid," he sat down on a chair and gave Sebastian a dirty look. I pretended I did not see it, and slid to the back of the wall.
"I-I better be going," Sebastian said quickly, understanding the sudden protectiveness that Logan held over me. He jumped off my bed and left the room, a worried and guilty expression plastered on his face.
"I wish I brought a camera," Logan burst out laughing, "The day my little viper grew soft."
I hissed at him; well growled because I lacked my supernatural tongue and fangs. His face grew serious as he watched me silently.
"I want you to be careful," he said suddenly.
My eyebrow rose as I glanced at him, "About what?" I asked innocently.
Logan's face was a pure picture. A blank expression covered his usual cold, gruff style. "A-About...Stuff?"
"Logan, if you do not know what you are trying to lecture me about," I shook my head, "Then do not bother trying to lecture me at all."
Logan sweat-dropped. "O-Okay, maybe I wasn't being clear," he coughed.
"Why, Logan, do not be so tense, please, tell me whatever awkward thing you are about to say," I reply in an obviously too sweet voice then gave him a blank look, signifying sarcasm.
"Umm," he seemed loss for words.
"Just spit it out!" I growled.
"I-I don't think you should think about anything relating to dating with that boy," Logan said finally. I blinked, surprised about that outburst, but I was not unexpecting it.
"I am not even thinking about that stuff," I frowned at him, truthfully.
"I didn't miss that blush and almost kiss," Logan frowned back, challenging me.
I snorted, "So? It was a strange moment; I was tired," I retorted.
Logan groaned, "He's 3 years older than you! Almost an adult, you're barely a teenager!"
"I am 14," I grimaced. "And I have noticed the age difference, I do not care."
"Kid, this is going to end badly," his features locked in a battle of worry.
"There is nothing going on between us, you need not worry," I said quietly.
Logan shook his head, "You're too young, far too young."
I trembled, resisting the strange urge to cry. I think as a human, I am experiencing mood swings; a lot. I quickly wiped my eye from the loose tears; hoping that Logan did not see it.
"I do not like him that way, Logan," I hugged myself, speaking faintly.
"I know you're lying, Larissa, it's glaringly obvious," he gruffed.
"So?" I confronted him, showing him the anger I felt, showing him the fear. "What makes you think I care for pitiful emotions like love and greed?"
Logan's eyes widened in realisation, "You love him."
"Wha-!" I blinked, realising that it did make sense. I shook my head quickly, hoping the redness would clear off my face. "N-No, I do not!"
"Oh, God," Logan stared at me, transfixed, "How could I miss that?"
"I do not!" I cried out, before my heart began to feel sore. I put a hand over my chest and grunted in pain.
"Larissa?" Logan questioned. "Are you okay?"
I could not breathe, and my chest hurt. Shooting pains shot up my left arm, and I felt almost completely drained of energy. I knew the symptoms. "H-Heart Att-" I think I almost screamed and maybe I collapsed from the pain.
"How could she have a heart attack, she's only 14?" I heard a confused voice ask. Stirring, I found that I had indeed collapsed. Leaning forward, I opened my eyes. I was still human but my sight was wavering slightly. I saw Logan, the professor, and a few doctors.
"It isn't usual," one of the doctors mulled over. "In fact, it must be very rare."
"Larissa, you're awake," the professor glanced at me, a curious and bewildered expression on his face.
"Apparently," I muttered, trying to get comfy.
"What happened?" Logan asked me suddenly.
"How should I know?" I retorted, shrugging casually but still having a sore in my chest.
"A 14 year old having a rare condition of myocardial infarction," a doctor said thoughtfully.
"Myocardi-what now?" Logan questioned.
"A heart attack," the doctors, the professor and I said at the same time.
"Okay, okay," Logan replied, irritated. "Damn brainiacs," he muttered under his breath.
"Hm, apparently your birth certificate is here," the fair-haired doctor gave me a piece of paper, "We found it amongst your documents."
I blinked, surprised, "I have a birth certificate?" Reading it, I noticed my name; Larissa Cimmerian Darkholme. I had a middle name? I thought it was Lorraine. I stared at it; uncertain of how many secrets a name could cause.
"Larissa, are you alright? You seem rather distressed," the professor asked me, concerned.
"I-I am fine," I murmured, staring at the paper longer.
"Can I check that?" Logan requested. I gripped the paper as if it would disperse if I let go of it.
"I-I n-need to keep it," I pleaded at a doctor. They nodded, somehow understanding.
"Your mother did request that we keep it; and if you did ever ask for it, you would be able to take it," the other doctor replied.
"That is not strange at all," I blinked rapidly again, taking this all in. I felt the confused glances that the professor and Logan were sharing. "How did she know I would come here?"
One of the doctors laughed, "She didn't, this is just the hospital you were born in," my eyes widened in surprise.
"I was born here?" I questioned, my body feeling cold, with shivers taking over my body.
"Mhmm," the other doctor smiled warmly. "It was a miracle when you were born, Larissa," I drank in his dark hair, slightly curly, his gentle but firm green eyes, his tanned skin.
"H-How do you know me?" I asked, my voice high and squeaky.
"Um, maybe you shouldn't stress her out," the professor suggested calmly, although his facials were pinched in disturbance.
"Yeah, having a heart attack doesn't make you completely at ease," Logan raised a thick eyebrow.
"Meh, good point," I replied scurrilously. Stretching, I suddenly felt rather lazy. Eyes closed, I rubbed the back of my neck.
"Perhaps we should leave you to rest," the professor said wisely. Gee, and people accuse him of not being smart.
"You going to be alright?" Logan asked me surely. Doing, I just had a heart-attack, I am going to be terrific.
"It seems she does need some more rest," a doctor called to them firmly, "Maybe you should leave for now." Thank you, captain obvious. Staring angrily at their backs as they left, I plopped onto my back, watching the ceiling, feeling depressed.
However, even through my sour mood, my heart still ached. It was doubtful that I had a heart-attack. Soul was getting worse; picking on my negative emotions; it was if she was mocking me. She was winning of course and I was losing.
The control over my body; it was slimming down. I chuckled, wondering how I got all that just by staring at the ceiling. My sight was still wavering slightly, but appeared to remain humane. I looked over, noticing that both doctors had left the room and I was by myself; again.
Turning over, I lay on my side, picking at the corners of the quilt. Half of my hair was covering my face, it felt strange when it did that now. It never used to. It was probably because it did not matter when I was a mutant, it would not control my sight in any way. Now it just causes darkness in my sight; almost blocking me out.
Feeling a harsh cough come on, I leaned forward and put a fist to my mouth; quickly erasing it. Drily, I groaned and sunk into the covers. I closed my eyes; hoping for some sleep to come over me and make me feel all better.
"Control, control, control," it was like a chant. Crossing the paths; I saw it was midnight. A clock nearby chimed 12 times and the full moon rose highly in the night. "Control, control, control."
It was almost like a drum beat, urging me to follow it. I was wearing a long, black dress, sleeveless and showed off almost an entire leg, almost like an evening dress. Barefoot, I clambered on: looking for the meaning of the noise.
Was I human? I could see, but barely. Everything was so dark. Thick smoke clouded my way, making me hurl into a coughing fit. Wiping it away, I noticed shadows running fearfully in the other direction. The chanting was still audible in the air.
Trying not to freak out about the sudden shadows, I pressed onwards. Trees began to encircle me. As I walked forward, the trees grew bigger. Shadows were cast by them; covering me entirely. I began to feel scared; my pulse higher than before, my palms a little sweaty. I tucked a lock of my hair behind my ear as I kept walking.
An owl cooed nearby making me jump. Trying to keep my breath in control, I went dead straight into the centre of the trees. It grew darker and colder. I glanced behind me and dreaded shivers ran up my back. The trees had closed behind me. There was no way out!
I clasped my hands together, hoping they would warm up soon. A huge crackling noise erupted from further on; and what looked like...Black...Lightning?
I crept up to see trees on fire; even though it was raining. Smoke bellowed from them, making me cough again. I kept going though, refusing to stop.
Suddenly something sounded strange. I narrowed my eyes in confusion as I turned a corner and paled drastically.
A huge tidal wave had appeared out of no where and was aiming at me. My breath hitched in my throat and I watched in awe, unable to move. Finally holding on to a tree's branch, I climbed up. I reached for another and got to the top of the tree before the tidal wave could reach me.
The tree trembled as the water struck it, but it was strong. It stayed firmly standing. I grasped on to a thick branch for my life, watching desperately as the water passed. I sighed with relief and also of confusion as I jumped down.
My eyes widened as I missed the ground. Looking around, I saw I was still in mid-air, a tug and rejected force of gravity was holding me up. I cried out; feeling defenceless and terrified. I tried to grab anything I could but everything was out of reach.
I let out a sob as I beckoned the ground to me helplessly. I finally realised that I had to stop my fear to survive. Holding my breath and closing my eyes, I flew sideways past a tree. I grinned, laughing, this was not so bad. I shot in the other direction; narrowly missing a cowering tree.
I felt a sudden power of gravity and I was fell to the ground. I covered my face with my hands before I touched the dirt. Groaning, I peeled myself from the ground and sat up. I grimaced as I looked around. An unexpected blast of unnatural wind rushed past me; laughter ringing in my ears.
I felt goosebumps corrupt my skin; threatening to scare me. Chills ran up my back but I refused to be frightened; I just stood up and kept going. I accidentally crushed a twig with my barefeet. A sound of fluttering wings past me, but I could not see anyone or anything.
"Hello?" I called out, my voice harsh and almost brittle.
"Hello?" a voice came back. I jumped, surprised but realised it was just my echo. Frowning, I glimpsed at the full moon, wondering if it would be able to guide me at all. I noticed a path of light it made and decided to just head in that direction.
Feeling the hard, crunchy twigs, the cold, crackling leaves under my feet, I urged on. I felt strange coos call on me. I felt the coldness swipe across my skin. This place was not normal, I would have to be a fool not to realise that.
This place... It was creepily familiar, the trees were wedged back somewhere in my mind. I held on to a tree and turned a corner. My eyes widened.
There was a long river, with million shades of colours, all beautiful, all pure. It swayed out to a clear blue to the edges. I knew this river! I sat by the bank and peered at my reflection. It wavered ever so slightly as it was a moving river.
A shadow past me so suddenly, that I jumped. Turning to face where I thought it was, I paled drastically. It formed into a snake, it coiled up and hissed at me. It swung down a tree and slithered rapidly towards me. I pulled myself from the ground and began to run!
It was still hissing, and I could hear it fully. It rang tremendously in my ears. I past more trees, their twigs scratching deeply into my skin. I seethed, trying to ignore the pain. I brushed leaves away and headed on, the shadow snake catching up to me.
I knew, I really knew that that was not just an ordinary shadow, or a snake. It was pure darkness, cast by evil. Its presence had me covered in shivers. Scratches corrupted my arms, and the dress was ripped in some places.
"Gah!" I tripped over some roots and fell forwards, my face into the dirt. I felt stones make lines of scratches down my fact. Groaning, I tried to get up, but the roots began to curl around my limbs.
"No!" I yelled. Bats scurried from a tree and flew off. The hissing was getting closer, and I was trapped. Weak. It took me a moment to realise that I was crying; the tears sliding down my cheeks. I was hopeless. All that training with the X-Men... All power I was supposed to hold. All useless. I was to die, ironically by a shadow snake.
It grew closer, the chills shooting up my back. My fingers were numb. I turned my head hoping to see it. See the remainder of my life...
But it disappeared.
"Huh?" I pulled harder at the roots, searching around for the snake. Where had it gone? Grunting, my shoulder blades tried to connect with each other as I tried to escape further. The roots began to give up, I could hear them snap. Effortless, I threw them off and climbed to my feet.
I dusted myself off and glanced around. Where could I go? This forest was definitely abnormal, and any more mistakes like that could cost me my life.
Trudging forward, I realised I had no option but to keep going. My feet were sore, and red; my arms were frozen and covered with scratches; a massive rip was at my stomach, where blood trickled down, staining my dress.
"Larissa," something called. I blinked, did I hear that right? Was something calling my name?
I turned, searching frantically. Another shadow appeared, but it was a woman this time. My breath hitched in my throat. It was Soul!
"Bet you are wondering where you are," she smirked, stepping elegantly towards me, her eyes sparkling with deadly darkness.
"I would like to know," I crossed my arms, and replied drily.
"Do you not recognise this forest?" Soul gestured to the trees, her hair shining white in the moonlight. She was wearing a matching dress, but in white. There were no rips in hers. No tears, and no blood.
I thought for a moment, waiting as the answer dawned on me, "My mind."
"Yes," she smiled, almost relieved. "This is the forest of your mind, well, after I had finished with it."
"You put all of my fears in there?" I realised, stiffening.
"Mhmm," Soul nodded. "I am surprised you did not call on me."
"I do not need you to fight my fears, I can do that as an individual," I protested, through gritted teeth.
Soul hurled her head back, laughing absurdly. "When are you going to realise it? I am part of you, Larissa, always have, always will be. I am your darker side, and your healing side. I am the side who will truly look after you," then anger seemed to corrupt her, "I am the only side that cares!"
"What?" I blinked.
"You think that the X-Men cares about you!" she pointed at me, accusingly. "But they are terrified of you, they pity you. They will see your dark side and will banish you! Their friendship means nothing," her eyes narrowed. "Neither does that Sebastian guy. He does not like you, just your powers."
I gritted my teeth, trying to ignore her but it was so difficult. She was my other half, she was my soul. How could I not listen to her?
"You do not know friendship," I spit angrily. She clenched her fists, whimpering slightly. "You do not know love, you do not know what it is like to feel cared for. That, is why I pity you." Everything began to go blurry, Soul hung her head miserably.
But before everything darkened, I heard her say: "Soon, Larissa, soon. I will be in control, and you just have to watch as I rid of your life."
My eyes snapped open. I leaned forward, groaning and coughing. It was all a dream. I looked at my reflection in the mirror. I still had my mundane sight. I watched as my reflection flickered and wavered. I blinked, seeing my skin and my hair go completely white, my eyes turn black.
I ripped my gaze from the mirror and looked at my hands. It may have been a dream, that is what scared me. I really was in that forest, and Soul really did speak to me. This was not going to end well, for anyone...
At long last! I'm done...
Chapter 11, hehe. Bet you're getting curious. ^^
