Chapter 11: People of the Past
Neji
I wasn't sure what exactly it was I felt as I laid eyes on the peculiar girl earlier today. I sit in bed, pondering the exchange. I had gone to find Hinata, and had found her attending an extracurricular activity that had not been pre-approved by our family. And I had told her as such. She had gotten very defensive, and, for once in her life, had stood her ground and told me off for meddling in her affairs. It was a surprise to see Hinata show some authority, but not necessarily an unwelcome one. I struggle between my unbridled anger at her, and the family, and my deep-rooted desire to keep her safe. I have no clue why either of those feelings exist so strongly in me, yet they do. But, despite the unusual conversation with Hinata earlier, I keep finding my thoughts drawn back to the mousy brown-haired girl who had looked so shocked that I was even speaking to her.
She had stepped into the hall, and I was struck with, for lack of a better term, déjà vu. Something about her was painfully familiar. Her hair was twisted into two perfectly symmetrical buns, and I had the strangest urge to untangle her mass of hair and let it flow freely. Her eyes were a deep brown, and I felt a sense of comfort staring into them. I could see the muscles in her small body, each defined clearly, showing care and attention. She was beautiful.
Surprisingly, that odd sense of unease I'd been feeling lately had intensified when I saw her. As had an inexplicable wave of anger and regret. The feelings were overpowering, and somehow I felt that I'd done something to wrong her, even though that couldn't be. We had never even spoken before.
I had tried to keep my voice and body language neutral, so as to not let any of my inner turmoil show through. Her mind had clearly been elsewhere when I had asked her a simple question, and for whatever reason, it irritated me. So many of my emotions today had been beyond explanation. So many things were unclear.
As I try and rest my mind and meditate, I am torn between wanting to see the girl again, desperately, and wanting to avoid the whole problem and never make contact with her again.
Meditation didn't help in the slightest.
Kiba
I walk Hinata back to her room. She's trembling slightly, but otherwise she seems remarkably fine. I had never seen her as assertive as she was this afternoon. Maybe that's what other-world Hinata is like? I'm all for it. I hate seeing Hinata getting walked all over, especially by her butt of a cousin.
"You going to be okay?" I check one more time before I leave.
"Yes, Kiba. In fact, I've never felt better," she smiles widely. She retreats to her room, leaving my flabbergasted, but impressed. When I turn around, that Shino kid is standing a little behind me. If Shikamaru is to be believed, we were on the same team together and were friends back in Konoha. That still doesn't explain why my heartbeat races every time I look at him…
"Is she usually like this?" I ask him, gesturing wildly.
"She was not always so strong-willed, but has developed incredibly from her younger years," Shino answers with more words than I've ever heard him utter.
"Hm. You think you know someone…" I chuckle, trying to break the ice. He's staring at me strangely, and I swallow uncomfortably at his scrutiny. "So…I hear you and I were friends, huh?" I inquire.
"We were teammates," I get in reply.
"Teammates, not friends?" I prompt. He stiffens.
"We were…close, indeed," he mumbles. My palms start sweating, but I feel a surge of excitement hearing that we were once close to each other. This boy unnerves me, and I've seen him and wanted to talk to him so badly…
I kind of have an idea as to why, but I suppose Shino will have all the answers I really need.
"Think you can…I don't know, help remind me?" I ask, nervously.
I think, somewhere deep within that hoodie of his, he's smiling.
"I think I can oblige," he replies. I follow him as we head to the common room, hopefully so I can find some answers, and get to know him…again.
Tenten
I try, fruitlessly, to complete any homework. Not only does it seem like a blatant waste of time considering the circumstances, but my head isn't currently in the game. All I can think of is Neji's cool, uncaring eyes. It's been years, years, since Neji has ever looked at me in that manner, and it stings more than I wish it would. I know that this isn't his fault and I know he can't remember who I am, but by Kami it still hurts like hell and I still just want to smack some sense into him.
Getting him to open up had been a long, complicated process, and I have no desire to repeat it.
When we had first started dating, he was hard to reach. If he was upset, he would come to me, but he wasn't necessarily good at voicing his internal struggles. I had to gently coax the information from him.
And despite that first kiss he had initiated, he was pretty stingy in the physical affection department. The same man who has no reservations pinning me to the ground in a sparring match is hesitant to hold my hand without first asking politely.
He has lived a completely reserved life. The Hyuga elders tell him what to learn, who to associate with, what promotions and jobs to take. He hates relinquishing control, I know, but it also means he flounders when he gets control back. He's not used to doing what he wants. And when he's unsure of something or doesn't know how to react, he completely shuts down. I was always there, though, to tell him he can do what he wants, and encouraging him to take charge of his life.
Slowly but surely he got more and more confidant, until I didn't have to pry words out of him anymore, and he instigated physical contact even more than me. And I relish every minute I get to witness Neji developing into more of himself, instead of just who the elders want him to be.
Which is why seeing him so reserved yet again breaks my heart.
"Tenten?," Neji had whispered in my ear one night, the two of us curled together in bed, and him stroking my hair.
"Yeah?" I had mumbled into his chest.
"What do you want to do with your life?" I looked at him then, and saw that his brow was creased and that the answer to that particular question wasn't really what he was after.
"Well…I suppose I want to live my life protecting the people in this village," I replied.
"Do you want a family?" he asked.
"A family?" I thought about it for a second. "I mean, I have you and Gai-sensei and Lee. You guys are my family."
"No, I mean, a blood-related family. Like…children?"
My heart rate picked up. In all honesty, yes I wanted children. But I wanted Neji's children. And my guess was that he would be required to sire Hyuga-approved children with a Hyuga-approved female, i.e. not me. "Well, maybe," I swallowed the truth. "If the opportunity arises. Do you want children, Neji?"
"Yes," he said, without missing a beat. "But I want them to be my children, not the clan's."
"You don't want them to be cursed," I filled in the blanks.
"Not just that…I want children that were made from love. I want to have children with someone I love."
I considered that. It was something very Neji-like to say. The Hyuga clan existed mostly from loveless, convenient marriages, and most children grew up in a sterile, strained environment. I know Neji had loved his father very much, and I could understand wanting to share that same kind of love with a family some day.
"Someone you love, huh? Not a Hyuga-arranged marriage, then?" I joke. But he was being serious.
"Yes, Tenten," he answered softly, shifting slightly. He was rarely ever this talkative. It made my heart swell with happiness to know that he was willing to open up this much to me.
"Tenten?" he whispered again.
"Yes, Neji?" I whispered back.
"Would you consider having children with me?" I think my heart nearly stopped at that. "Sometime…sometime in the future. If it all works out with the clan, would you consider it?"
I had grown up with Neji by my side. I had seen every bit of improvement he had made as a shinobi. I had fought countless spars with him, and lost countless times as well. I had been his first kiss. He practically lived with me, for Kami's sake. The answer was strikingly clear. Our lives had always been intertwined, from the beginning.
"Yes, of course," I smiled at him. I felt him relax in my arms, and I knew that was exactly what he needed to hear. "But Neji…does that mean that you…love me?"
He looked into my eyes, determination burning there. "Yes, of course," he echoed. My face had split into an ear-to-ear grin.
"I love you too, Neji."
I grit my teeth. We still have a future together. I will not give up. Neji hasn't given up, despite all of the things working against him. I will return his memories.
Hang in there, I'm coming Neji.
