A/N: Am I the only one that's REALLY pissed off that Adam didn't won a grammy?
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We're in Kurt's bedroom. Mr. Hummel is out – the only reason for me to be down here right now - and Finn is in his room trying to figure out what the fuck is he going to give to Mr. Shue. Apparently today they make 4 months together. Kurt's trying to explaining how his talk with his dad went "Noah! Could you please stop laughing? It's really not cool, you know?" I know he's pouting and that just makes things even funnier. I know I should stop laughing but the image of Mr. Hummel putting a condom on a banana is too funny for me. I try to control my laugh. "Sorry, baby, I really am but... it's just too much for me. And what about the papaya? You didn't explain that yet..."
"I already told you I blocked the papaya part of the talk of my mind. I don't need to relive that!" Kurt looks so traumatized. I try to think about things that Mr. Hummel might have done with the papaya and I can't help start laughing again.
"You're only laughing because it wasn't you! Your mom is cool, she was probably better at that." I stop laughing and look at my snickers.
"I never had the sex talk. My mom was too drunk to do it" I'm looking at my hands. I had never noticed before how interesting a nail could be.
"What you mean?" Kurt raises my head. I take a deep breath
"You know my dad left us, right?" He nods "My dad living was too much for my mom. She started drinking and after a point she couldn't stop. She would go to her work drunk, come back drunk, stay on the couch drunk. She had her lapses, she would stay sober an hour per day. Therefore I never had the sex talk. I actually didn't had a lot of things that people have... You know what she did when she found out about Q? She just looked at me, said that I would have to clean the guest room and asked me if I could go to the grocery store to buy her another bottle of whiskey and that I still couldn't buy pork products"
Shit. I hadn't told anyone about that. Not Q, not Finn. Now that I did I feel like I should've told someone before. It really makes things better to talk about it.
" I had no idea, Noah."
"One night, after that afternoon on the hallway, I had a nightmare. The jocks were betting you up and I would try to save you. I would take you in my arms and take you to the bleachers and you wouldn't wake up. My mom woke me up and she was sober. But had a bottle on her hand. We got into a fight and I said to her everything that I felt. The next day she told me and Sarah she had decided to come clean."
"I'm sorry... I mean I glad your mom came clean. I'm sorry you had to go through all that" And I can feel he is. "You don't have to. She's fine now, we are..."
"I GIVE UP! JUST AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH" WHAT THE FUCK?
"Finn? Finn, what's wrong?" Finn opens the door and make his way down
"I just don't know what to do!" He sits on the couch
"And did you really had to scream?" Kurt's looking at him like he could kill his brother.
"Maybe you could help me. Both of you. The thing is: I want to do something tonight. Something I never did. Just to show Will how much I like him. Because I really do. My problem is that wanting and having the guts to do this something are two completely different things." I think I already knows what he wants to do. Kurt looks at me like I'm an idiot.
"Hey, don't look at me that way. You know I'm a bit slow sometimes." He just smiles. I know this smile means he agrees with me. Slowly I'm learning to read him. I just give him one of my side smirks and shake my head...
"Hey, could you two stop? It's freaking me out!" Always count on Finn to be freaked out. Kurt's looking at me like I should say something first.
"So, Finn, what exactly you want to do?"
"What you think, Puck? I want to have sex with Will..." That I knew already, although I thought they had already had sex, if I remember right we heard lots of moans coming from that locker room. He starts talking again "But I want it to be different this time" He takes a deep breath "I want to bottom" That's what I thought. And I know nothing about bottoming. I look at Kurt. I hope he reads my expression as 'I have no fucking idea what I'm supposed to be doing right now' expression. He gives me a nod and speaks.
"So... how exactly are we supposed to help you?"
"I don't know! I have no idea what to do or how to tell him that."
"You should say it. Tell him you want to try it out." That's right. It's nothing I would do, at least I think I wouldn't do, but if he wants...
"I agree with Kurt. You should just say it. It's not like he's going to flip over this. Be straight – no pun intended – to him about it." Finn's still looking kinda lost – as always.
"When?"
"That I dunno. You'll probably know when it's time."
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"Hey guys! How are you feeling today?" Mr. Shue's in a great humor today. If I didn't knew why I would probably be wondering if he hadn't won the lotto. "Today we'll do something different. You'll split in groups of 4 and the hat of fate will choose the song you'll do. You can change it the way you want. The songs will be performed and we'll charge for the tickets. We'll do a group performance of We Weren't Born To Follow by Bon Jovi and with the money from the tickets we'll... wait for it... go to New York see RENT on Broadway!" I think I just got deaf! Kurt screamed so loud I actually think I'm deaf.
"New York, Noah!" Okay, not deaf, hearing weird noises, yeah, but not deaf. Which, I think, is good.
"Yeah, I heard, princess, and I think I lost a bit of my hearing after your scream, yours and Rachel's." Mr. Shue gave up trying to speak and let everyone scream. Rachel is making plans, Kurt is talking about clothing with Aretha, Santana is looking at Brittany like all she wants is to get her alone. Brittany is on Artie's lap, looking like she has no idea about why is everyone screaming, Artie is laughing and Finn has a dreamy look on his face.
"Noah, come here! The group will be you, me, Finn and Mercedes. Whatya think?" That I'm not surprise.
"It's fine with me, baby."
"So, is everyone paired up?" After everyone nods Mr. Shue continues "So, one from each group will get up and take a song. We have songs that are originally by Adam Lambert, Lady Gaga, Aerosmith, Madonna, John Mayer, Kris Allen, Black Eyed Peas and Bruno Mars"
Rachel, as expected, is the first one to get up "Amazing by Aerosmith" . Followed by Kurt. His face lights up when he takes the song from the hat. "Aftermath by Adam Lambert" Oh, dear Lord! Aretha has a huge smile on her face and Finn's expression is blank. We will make it work. "I can't believe we got Adam Lambert!" I'm pretty sure Kurt's glowing.
"I know, baby! And we got Aftermath! You know I love that song!"
Aretha, who was drinking water, is now choking. "You know Adam Lambert's songs?"
"Yeah, I do."
"I really wasn't expecting that! I know you are dating my boy Kurt and everything..." She stops and thinks a bit "Kurt showed you Adam Lambert's songs, right?" I was going to answer but Kurt cut me.
"Actually he already knew. Before we even started dating he told me he liked Adam's songs..." Finn looks at us.
"I want to sing of the first part of the first verse... I always liked it. Puck could sing the second part of the first verse and the second verse could be divided with Kurt singing the first part and Mercedes the second one. The third verse could be Kurt and Puck..." He stops when he sees our faces "Why're you looking at me like that?" I start talking before anyone else can.
"First: you are talking about Adam Lambert songs. Second: you're actually talking about how we should split the song, in a way that makes me think you heard it lots of times..."
I mean, me listening to Adam Lambert? Shock! Me and Finn listening to Adam Lambert, both gays (or bis) and friends (ex-best friends) makes me feel I'm on twilight zone... Finn's looking at me like he can't believe what I said.
"What are you talking about, Puck? We watched Idol together! You bought the album the day it was out. You hit a guy because he said that the kiss on AMA was just to promote the album!"
That's something nobody needed to know. I had never realized how observant Finn could be. Aretha has her mouth open and her eyes almost falling of her face and Kurt is simply laughing his ass off.
"When you told me you had hit a guy because of Adam Lambert I really thought you were kidding!"
"I don't joke about that kind of stuff!" I'm getting angry. I mean, I'm dating a hot guy, okay but it's not like everybody needs to know I'm Adam's fan! At least Finn can't say a thing about the fact that I punched a guy because he told me that there weren't any more tickets to Adam's show. What Finn doesn't know he can't tell. And in any case I can say that he thought Gokey was hot and he would have to deal with Kurt for a long time. Thinking back I should have realized we were both gays (or bis)
"And you really didn't know you were gay, Noah? Wow, I knew you were slow sometimes but I never thought it would be this much!" And he is laughing again...
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"Hey, Puckerman? A word" Great. A word. You know, before Kurt I wasn't afraid of anything... Now I think his father is going to kill me and looking at Aretha's face I have the feeling I should run.
"Sure, talk"
"In privet, Puck" Sure it's going to be in privet. That way there isn't going to have anyone to see what she's going to do with me.
"Okay..."
She leads me to a empty classroom. "I want to tell you a few things, okay, Puckerman? You don't speak until I'm finished. Did you understand?"
I'm starting to think Aretha scares me more then Mr. Hummel – and I never thought this could be possible. "Whatever, say what you want" She she leans on the teachers desk.
"I can see my boy is happy with you, and you seem to be happy to have him around. That's good. As long as Kurt's happy I'm happy. If you break my boy's heart, make him cry or anything like that I'm going to find you, no matter where you are and I'm going to take that thing that's between your legs, ya know? That thing you love so much, that you're so proud of? So, I'll chop it off and staple it to your forehead, then I'm going to shave that Mohawk of yours and rip that nipple pierce you're so proud of. Did I made myself clear?"
Okay, she's more scary then Mr. Hummel. He didn't threatened me with body harm – yet.
"Sure, Aretha, whatever" She opens the door
"And one more thing, now that you're with Kurt and we'll be kind of friends call me Mercedes." If she treats her friends this way I don't ever want to be her enemy.
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We're making our way to my truck and Finn's still telling Kurt all he knows about me and eyelined singers. We get in and now I can have my revenge, at least I waited 'till Are-Mercedes wasn't with us. I think I'm scared for life after our talk and I'll never do anything that's even remotely mean around her anymore... "So, Finn, you are talking and talking about me and Adam Lambert but how about you and Danny Gokey?" Finn stops laughing and looks at me like I'm a traitor. Kurt gives him a disbelieving look. "Yeah, that's right, Kurt. Finn always thought Danny was the best one on Idol and that he was hot" If looks could kill I would probably be dead right now.
"You promised you were never going to speak about that again!" I just ignore him
"You have no idea how pissed he got when Kris went to the final and not Danny! And I had never seen him so angry then when people started talking about how Danny had ruined Dream on!" Kurt gets out of his initial shock.
"Really, Finn? I thought you had a better taste then that!" I smirk at Finn and turn to Kurt.
"And you, Kurt? Who, besides Adam, you thought was hot on Idol?"
"Besides Adam? Anoop and Kris." Kris I had already figured out
"Anoop? I had never figured you to be a guy to dig guys like Anoop."
"On this year's Idol I thought Casey was hot. Just that smile, that never got out of his face, that pissed me off and Tim. Tim had that cute, innocent thing and him singing I Can't Help Falling In Love With You melted my heart..."
"I think it melted everyone's heart..." Finn's looking at us with a thoughtful expression.
"I wish me and Will could be like you two..." That made me fell bad. Kurt just smiles
"You can and you probably are..." We are outside their house. Finn just looks out at the door and take a deep breath
"What I meant was that I wish we could go out, have dinner, go on a date. I wish we could go somewhere else beside his house. I wish I could introduce him as my boyfriend to my friends" I can't imagine how it would be to be with Kurt and not be with him...
"Well, we'll have New York. There you'll be able to go out and do things you can't do here, like going on a date" Finn's face lights up when Kurt mentions the possibility of a date then it darkens again
"But everyone will be there..."
"And what are we for? We'll be your cover, right princess?"
"Right, Noah. We'll find a way of helping you there. Now we gotta get in, Carol is probably waiting for us."
"Bye baby" I give him a kiss. "Bye Finn. See you guys tomorrow. Are you going to need a ride?"
"No, thanks. You got football tomorrow and I have to be home early. I'll take my baby."
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A/N: Don't forget to review! Make me a happy girl!
