"Hi, my name is Laura, I am new here," said a Koopaling with a pink Mohawk and too much makeup.
"My, you look absolutely starved!" said the Shy Guy staff that greeted "Laura" at the door to the Teen Girls cottage. "It's a good thing you're here; you will get plenty to eat here!"
Yeah, plenty of shit to eat, Larry thought.
The staff checked "Laura" in and then made some phone calls asking about "her". Larry, meanwhile, asked to go to the bathroom.
"Wendy, are you in there?"
"Larry? How did you get in here?"
"Long story. Don't worry; I will get you out of there. I can't say I'm surprised that they haven't tried to get you out yet," he said with a chuckle.
Larry twisted the handle until it came off and stuck one of Freddie's bobby pins into the hole to undo the lock and hold it open.
The door swung open and Wendy hugged her brother, something that she does not often do.
"Larry? You look like a queer!"
"Well, how else was I supposed to get in here?"
"Ludwig was here earlier. How is he?"
"Umm, he's currently being quarantined in the slammer for some naughty stuff he did."
"OH NO!" Wendy started sobbing. "Without Ludwig's brains we will never get out of here! I'd take King Daddy's dungeon over this any day!"
Wendy started throwing a tantrum on the carpet.
"Hey, isn't that your bow?" Larry pointed at a Toadette who was wearing a bow that looked just like Wendy's. She had gotten it out Wendy's box of personal belongings in the clothes closet.
Wendy looked up and twisted her face in fury at the girl.
"THAT'S MINE! GIVE THAT BACK!"
Wendy pounced on top of the girl and fought the bow away, scratching the girl in the process and making her cry and run off to find a staff to tattle on.
"Um, you better hide before you get sent to juvey too. Oh, and keep a lookout for Princess Peach. Do not let her donate any money to this place, because if she does we're trapped here for another month. On a second thought, you might want to act brattier to decrease the chances that you wind up in foster care during that month. Hehe, poor Hip and Hop… Oh, and by the way, I'm Laura." Larry winked. He hid and waited in one of the bathrooms, eager to make the most of his time in a cottage full of girls.
Morton and Roy were at the playground. Roy pushed Morton off the rusty-chained swing and into the rough wood chips used as playground filler.
"Oww, Roy! We're supposed to be keeping a lookout for Princess Peach, not injuring each other!"
"Well, I don't see no Princess Peach 'round here."
"That's because we're all the way over here in the playground! We need to think of a way to get to the main office… man, I wish that they let Ludwig talk to us for longer so he could come up with something…"
Morton got back on the swing, and Roy pushed him off again. Morton's knee was mildly scraped by the wood chips.
"Owww, man, Roy, you could have seriously injured me! And then I would have been sent to that awful icky nurse's office where they would spray antiseptic all over my wounds that would sting and hurt! And I would be so close to that noisy office with all those brats screaming about how they want their mommy and daddy back, and maybe run into that stupid Princess if she decides to visit…"
Morton's blabbering suddenly made an idea click for both of them.
"OWWW!" the two of them screamed together.
"What's wrong?" asked the Shy Guy staff.
"I got a bellyache," said Roy.
"Oh, dear, you might have appendicitis!"
"And I scraped my knee," said Morton.
The Shy Guy inspected it. It was barely bruised, the scales were slightly scratched, and there was not yet any blood oozing from the scrape.
"Oh my! It might be infected! You don't have hemophilia, do you?"
"Uh…" the brothers looked confused until Morton suddenly remembered what hemophilia was.
"Of course we do! We are royals, after all!"
"We've got to get you to the nurse's office before you bleed to death!"
The nurse gave Roy some pink medicine (which tasted awful to him) and sprayed the stinging antiseptic on Morton's knee before putting a pink bandage with kittens on it.
"You two are free to return to the playground."
Morton started coughing, and Roy faked a sneeze.
"Oh my gosh! You two might have the Paragoomba flu! You better be quarantined here until we make sure!"
Roy laughed as the nurse rushed to get some testing equipment. "These folks are suckas fo'diseases."
Morton laughed. "Oh dear! The kid used somebody else's toothbrush! Call the ambulance to make sure he doesn't have AIDS!"
"OK, let's split before nursie gets back!" said Roy.
Morton and Roy ran out to the front office, where they found Iggy and Lemmy being restrained by a pair of Sledge Brothers. The creepy foster parent was staring hungrily at them with huge eyes with pupils dilated by prescription overdose.
"Hurry up with those tranquilizers," shouted one of the Sledge Brothers.
"Holy hell, so this is the creepy mofo who wants to foster our li'l sibs!" said Roy.
"Why isn't Larry here helping out?" asked Morton.
"He's probably still in the girls' cottage beggin' chicks to blow him," said Roy.
"Well, there is only one thing to do," said Morton.
Morton screamed and picked up a potted plant and tossed it at the Sledge Brothers.
Each Sledge Brother kept hold of the Koopaling he was carrying with one arm while trying to grab Morton with the other arm.
Morton ran around screaming until each of his arms was caught by a Sledge Brother and he was restrained against a wall.
Roy, meanwhile, punched them in their other arms to make them let go of Iggy and Lemmy.
Iggy and Lemmy, once free, started running and hopping around and screaming. The Sledge Brothers dropped Morton to run after them.
Iggy and Lemmy got on top of their would-be foster parent and stomped on his shell, causing him to retreat into it.
Iggy kicked the shell, with Lemmy riding it, into one of the Sledge Brothers. The Sledge Brother wrapped his hands around Lemmy, but Lemmy squirmed out and danced, laughing, on top of his head.
"That's it, I QUIT!" shouted the creepy foster parent. "These two are much more trouble than they're worth!"
"Please, sir," said the receptionist, "maybe if we give them some tranquilers…"
A nurse came with some tranquilizers. Morton and Roy withdrew into their shells.
"Here, kids, I've got some candy for you two!"
"NO!" shouted Iggy.
"Kooky taught us never to accept candy from strangers!" shouted Lemmy.
"Geez, are all of the royal children this naughty?" asked the creep.
"Well, there is one that is relatively well-behaved – the young Bowser Jr."
"I'll take him," the creeper said, his eyes full of greed for the hefty sum of child support that he would be paid for keeping a royal child, and lust for Junior's youth.
"He is a little rambunctious though. First we need to confirm a diagnosis of ADHD or whatever and then put him on medication for it. He should be ready for placement in less than a week."
"Good," said the creep, shaking with giddiness at the mention of medication.
The creep left, and the nurse took Iggy and Lemmy, who were almost tired out, back to the cottage. "Next time, we put you on tranquilizers before you go out to meet your foster parent."
Morton and Roy popped out of their shells.
"Good, the twins are safe for now," said Morton. "BJ should be too if the Princess doesn't come today."
"Too bad, he can have BJ," said Roy.
The Koopa brothers noticed that the Shy Guy receptionist suddenly started hopping up and down.
"Oh, my, oh my… she's here, she's here!"
Roy and Morton turned around to see what the receptionist was so excited about. They saw a pink limousine with a mushroom shape on the chrome bumper in the parking lot out the window.
"OHH MY! THERE IS ONLY ONE BITCH WHO WOULD HAVE A LIMO LIKE THAT!" shouted Morton.
