The first thing I see when I open my eyes the next morning is Freddie sitting next to me in bed, holding a mug of coffee out to me.
"Thanks," I say groggily, rubbing my eyes with a yawn.
"Pleasure. How was your evening?"
"Oh – um, it was good actually. Karen and I went into the city for some dinner and then had a few drinks at a pub before we came home." Please don't ask what restaurant we went to, I'm silently praying. The lie rolled right out of my mouth before I could even process what I was saying; I'm surprised at myself actually.
Freddie smiles warmly at me and guilt washes over me. I should really make more of an effort to get to know this guy. We did marry each other after all; I might not know why, but we did once upon a time. I suddenly feel overwhelmed with the events of the past few days. I really should be making an effort. If I actually am having an affair then I must have my reasons, but maybe things are different now. I don't remember anything and Freddie has been nothing but a gentleman towards me. He's still sleeping in the guestroom every night, which is extremely generous of him considering I am his wife.
We sit down for breakfast together and he picks up a paper to read. I glimpse the date and shiver, I still can't quite grasp that it's not 2006 anymore. I'm altogether avoiding thinking about last night, but memories keep squeezing themselves back into my mind. Effy, looking glowing and happy, singing in front of an absolutely adoring crowd. Cook, not so boyish anymore but still that same cheeky face, grinning for the world not giving a fuck. I can't believe that I saw them, that Emily knows them, she KNEW about them and didn't tell me. I understand why she did it but I can't help feeling a little betrayed. I couldn't bring myself to go and talk to them after the show; it was all just too much. I'm scared and confused and I don't understand why Freddie doesn't know who they are; I don't understand why they aren't a part of my life anymore. Or are they? I really don't know what the fuck is going on. It's starting to feel as though there is two Naomi's in this strange, mixed up future. They seem to lead two completely different lives and I don't know which one I am.
I sigh and shake my head a little, trying to push the thoughts from my mind. Freddie catches my eye and looks concerned. "Are you alright darling?"
"Yeah, I'm fine," I say. The lies apparently come naturally to me these days. I remember my decision to make an effort, and change my mind. "Actually, I feel terrible! Everything is crazy at the moment… I'm really struggling to figure out who I am. My life, this life now, is so different to what it was only a few weeks ago. Well, for me anyway. I don't know who I am anymore Fred."
"Darling don't be upset, it's okay for you to feel confused. This is a big thing that's happened to you; maybe we should get you in to see a therapist. I might give your doctor a call on Monday; he might be able to prescribe you something to deal with things…"
I'm annoyed that he isn't trying to comfort me, only pushing me towards therapy and medication. "I don't need a shrink! And I don't need some antidepressants to turn me into a zombie with no thoughts or emotions!"
"Sorry love, if that's not what you want then you don't have to. I just want you to be better."
I'm sure you do. "It's okay. Just… can we do something together today? I'd really like to get out of London, you know, maybe we can go for a drive to the countryside or something?" I really do need to get out of the city, away from everything for a while.
"Well you know I would love to darling, but I have golf today. I always golf on a Saturday." He's says it like I should know better than to ask for companionship on a Saturday.
"Oh, alright, not to worry." I feel a little rejected, excuse me. I'm just your fucking wife who has severe amnesia, no need to worry about me.
I think he catches the look on my face because he adds as an afterthought, "would you like to join me at the country club? I'm sure some of the other wives will be there if you'd like to spend the day in their company? I'll be back after we play and you can join the lads and myself for drinks in the evening."
Well, just as thrilling as it sounds spending the day with the other idiotic trophy wives, I think I'll decline. "It's alright," I say. "I'll find something to do around here. Maybe I'll call Karen or something."
Freddie smiles that charming smile of his again, although its effects are absolutely zero on me. "That's the spirit, darling".
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Not even 10 minutes after Freddie has left - dressed to the nines in Tommy Hilfiger I might add, looking like a complete and utter twat – I am bored out of my mind. I can't stop thinking about last night, about her. Emily. My phone is in my hand and I am staring at her phone number. I've been staring at it for at least 5 minutes when I bite the bullet and push it. She picks up after only 1 ring.
"Naomi, hi," she says in that husky, sexy as fuck voice.
"Can we go somewhere?" I'm not in the mood to chat. I need to get the fuck out of here.
"Of course we can," she replies, and I can hear the concern in her voice. "Where do you want to go?"
"Anywhere." Anywhere with you.
"I'm on my way. I'll pick you up shortly."
We hang up and I make my way down to the street. I don't even get though half my fag before she pulls up in a revamped classic black BMW cabriolet. Seriously, can this girl be any cooler? She looks hot as fuck with her red hair flowing down her shoulders, mirrored aviator sunglasses on, dressed in tight jeans and a white singlet top.
"Wow Emily, nice ride," I say as I sink into the beige leather passenger seat.
"Thanks," she replies, adding with a wink, "thought you would prefer this over the scooter today."
We drive in silence and I enjoy the changing scenery as we head south out of London. It's refreshing to not be crowded in by the dark, gloomy buildings; instead to pass by cute villages, farms, rivers and forests along the way. I'm so absorbed with peacefulness that we continue to drive in silence for a decent hour or so. Soon enough, curiosity gets the better of me, and I ask where we are headed.
Emily replies simply, "to the sea."
I give her a questioning glance and she smiles shyly. "I know you like to get away from the city when you're under too much pressure."
She is so sweet and lovely that I can't stand it. I don't know how she knows me so well but she does. I love the sea. And I needed to get out of London. I grab her hand and squeeze it.
"Thank you Emily."
"For what?"
"For being you. You just knew exactly what I needed today, and you made it happen. You've done so much for me these past few days, weeks. So thank you."
"I'd do anything for you Naomi. I want nothing more than for you to get your memory back so you realise how much I mean everything I'm saying."
I don't need my memory to know that she is sincere, I can hear it so clearly in her voice; see it so clearly in her eyes and her face. She is the most sincere and honest person I've ever known, even if I only remember knowing her for little over a week. "I know you mean everything Emily," I say softly.
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Another hour or so goes by and I can smell the sea in the air. The salty smell is so delicious and soothing; it just feels like home to me. We park at a little marina and Emily leads us to a gorgeous yacht which is docked among other smaller fishing trawlers and sailboats.
'Liaison Amoureuse' reads the name of Emily's boat. I'm a little rusty on my French but the best I can translate it is 'Love Affair'. Cute. A wave of dizziness washes over me from nowhere and I squint as the sunlight suddenly becomes much too bright –
.
I'm laughing with someone, Emily, it's always Emily. We're hurrying through a little marina, she's pulling me along, before suddenly stopping me in front of a beautiful yacht.
I gasp, 'Emily, it's stunning! I can't believe you bought a sailboat!'
She looks pleased, 'You like it then?'
'It's beautiful!'
'I called her Liaison Amoureuse," she says, showing me the name printed proudly on the side of the boat.
.
I blink in the sunlight and I'm staring at the same boat I just saw in the flashback.
"I've been here before, haven't I Emily?"
She smiles at me, that knowing, lovely smile. "Of course you have. This is where we stay most weekends."
We board the yacht and Emily sails out of the marina and into the open sea. We drop the anchor just after the town vanishes from the horizon. I love the feeling of being completely away from everything and everyone, it's as if Emily and I are the only two people left; it's just us and the open sea.
"Come on, let's go for a dip," she says.
"I didn't bring anything to swim in!"
I swear she rolls her eyes at me. "Come on Campbell," she says, pulling off her singlet to reveal a cute green bra, oh so perfectly cupping her breasts. I snap myself out of it before she catches me staring at her tits and roll my own eyes back at her, acting as though she's simply forcing me to go in the water.
"Fine," I say, "but no peeking!" I turn around and take off my own top and skirt, only to turn back around catching Emily shamelessly staring at me ass.
"You perv! I told you not to look!"
She laughs, "Not sorry!"
I laugh too and give her a little shove and then we're laughing like idiots until I clumsily trip over something and fall right on into the water with a shriek.
"Fuck! It's freezing!" It's actually not that cold, its rather refreshing, it's more the sudden shock of falling in the sea that's got me.
Emily dives in gracefully and pops up right next to me. I can't touch the bottom, but I'm not worried. I've never been much of a swimmer, but it's like my body just knows what to do, and I calmly tread water like I've done it all my life. Guess I picked up swimming the last few years, I think to myself.
We swim around the boat for a bit, splashing each other every now and then, enjoying the sun's rays beating down on us. Eventually the cold does get the better of both of us and Emily grabs us a couple of big fluffy beach towels. We sit up on the deck enjoying the last few rays of sunlight the day has to offer, and Emily presents us with a bottle of wine in an ice bucket and some dip and crackers. We sit like that in the sun for a while; smoking, drinking, and eating dip. Emily finds another bottle of wine and we continue to chat about anything and everything.
I feel so comfortable in her presence, and I have the urge to suddenly know more. The wine has given me a nice buzz and I'm feeling brave, so I ask her, "Will you tell me about us?"
So she does. She tells me the story of how we met, actually at my wedding with Freddie. Emily was there, of course. We didn't meet sooner as I'd only been seeing Fred a few months before he proposed. She said she saw me and that was it, it was love at first sight. She said she'd never seen such a sad and beautiful looking bride. When I questioned her about why I was sad, she said she could only assume it was because of my falling out with Effy and Cook, and my lack of satisfaction with my life and what I was doing.
She tells me of the first time we kissed; it was at an opening of a resort that they'd been working on together. Freddie was off with some wanker or other and I was bored outside having a fag. We'd been exchanging stolen glances and filthy looks for weeks, and we both seized the moment and never looked back. Emily mentions that she thought the nightclub the other day would trigger my memory of this - it didn't, but it was still beautiful.
She tells me of weekends we've spent out here on the boat and even a trip to Paris we took together last summer. She tells me that Karen covers for me a lot, that she knows I'm not happy with her brother and turns a blind eye to whatever I might be up to. Emily doesn't know quite how I can trust Karen but apparently I have reassured her that she would never betray me. I smile as Emily says this; I quite liked spending time with the bubbly socialite, even if she is a complete airhead. I make a mental note to spend some time with her next week and see what answers she can give me.
As much as I am enjoying Emily telling me about my life, about our lives, it still doesn't make sense why I would keep the affair going so long without breaking it off with Freddie. Emily says that for the first year or so I kept meaning to, time just went by so quickly that we both slipped into the comfortable, albeit unconventional lifestyle that we'd been living. We saw each other so much that time together wasn't an issue.
"Then what about recently? Why has another year gone by and I haven't done anything?" I'm persistent; I need to understand why.
Emily looks as though she's thinking very carefully about how she will answer me and I feel myself starting to get frustrated. "Please Emily, tell me what you know. I have to know!"
"Naomi, if I tell you – if I tell you everything that I know, it will be a lot to take in. You deserve to know, because I only know what you've told me anyway – but it will be a lot. Are you sure you're ready?"
"I am. I'm sick of not knowing. I'm ready Emily – tell me what you know."
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I promise the next chapter will NOT be long! I hate to leave you with a cliffhanger like that (no i don't), but the next chapter is basically complete, I just want to make a few final tweaks. Please guys, leave me a quick review if you have a moment! Thanks to everyone reading and reviewing already. See you very soon! -Dani
