Thank you to mekaky for review, it gets sadder before it gets better!

On with chapter 11

Manhattan SVU, Manhattan, New York

Monday, June 30rd 2008

8.54 am

Olivia poured herself a steaming hot cup of coffee before making her way to her desk to begin work. It had been a long morning with Melissa awake since four am and she was shattered. As she sat at her desk she switched on her computer and smiled at the pictures on her desk as the machine woke up. Her heart still yearned for Michael but she'd cried more than enough and just found herself wanting to live and make the best life possible that she could for Melly.

"Olivia." Cragen called.

She looked up from her desk and saw him signalling for her to go to his office. She took one more sip of her coffee before placing the mug on her desk and getting to her feet. Once she clicked the door shut and turned to Cragen he started.

"If you're ready to go back out into the field you need to have your sit down with Huang." Cragen sighed.

"Now?" Olivia asked.

"Yes he's waiting upstairs." Cragen replied.

"Ok." She shrugged.

He was surprised. She didn't argue. She didn't tell him that she was fine. She just said ok. He watched her leave and through the blinds on his windows watched her climb up the stairs. She looked defeated, like the weight of the world was on her shoulders and he wished that he could do anything to take that pain away from her.

Olivia sat down on the battered couch opposite the armchair Huang occupied. He eyed her as she clasped her hands together in front of her, her eyes fixed on the table.

"How are you Olivia?" He asked.

"Fine." She replied.

"Really?" He asked.

"I'm fine, coping very well with the death of my son thank you." Olivia replied hissing slightly at him repeating his question.

"Ok why don't you tell me what you did this morning?" Huang asked sitting back in his chair.

"Melly woke at four, she cuddled up in bed with me and Cole but she wasn't going back to sleep and talked nonstop about the school choir show and her solo part, so I got out of bed and took her downstairs so Cole could sleep a little longer. I made us pancakes for breakfast with chocolate sauce as a treat and then we watched Sesame Street for an hour before I took Cole a coffee. I washed and dressed then I washed and dressed Melly, I took her too school and then I came here." Olivia talked like a robot, just as if she was reading her shopping list.

"Ok so you made pancakes as a treat. Why?" He asked.

"What?" Olivia asked looking at him.

"Why did you choose to make Pancakes as a treat, had she done something to deserve a treat?" Huang asked his expression not changing.

"No I ... Huang I'm not the best chef alright, it was nice to be able to have Melissa and me do something meaningful together. I measured out the ingredients and she mixed it all up and we carefully cooked the pancakes together, it was nice, I don't often get the chance to do that on a work day." Olivia explained not understanding the point of the question but answering it honestly anyway.

"Ok so when you were watching Sesame Street, how did you sit?"

"How did I ... What?" Olivia stared at him in disbelief. "What's the point of these questions exactly? I thought your job was to make sure I was sane enough to have my gun back."

"That is my job and that is what I'm doing Liv, just answer the questions without questioning me and it will make both our lives easier." He cracked a smile and she shook her head.

"I lay sideways on the couch with Melissa lying sideways in front of me and I was cradling her." Olivia shrugged.

"Ok when you were getting ready where was Melissa?"

"In the bath, Cole was watching her whilst I showered." Olivia replied. "Once I was out of the shower I took Melissa out of the bath and got her dried and into her underwear. I dried both out hair as she snuggled in her little blanket. Then I dressed her and then I dressed myself and then I did her hair in a French plait then let her brush my hair as I put on some makeup ... Detailed enough?" Olivia sarcasm spewed out of her mouth without her thinking.

"Very. Ok so tell me about the drive to school, where did she sit? What did you talk about?" Huang continued.

"She sat in the passenger seat in her car seat. We talked about her school choir show and then we sang along to the nursery rhymes CD I have in the car and she made fun of me purposely singing badly." Olivia smiled hearing her laugh echo across the car.

"What songs are on the nursery rhyme CD?" Huang asked.

Olivia glared at him, she had no idea of the relevance but she closed her eyes and put herself back into the car.

"Ok the first is humpty dumpty, we have silly actions we do together for that one, then, Bah Bah Black sheep, then skip the next one always then ..."

"Why do you skip the next one?" Huang asked the intrigue written all over his face.

"Because neither Melly nor I like listening to it." Olivia shrugged.

"What is the next one Liv?" Huang asked.

"Twinkle Twinkle little star." She whispered

Manhattan SVU, Manhattan, New York

Monday, June 30rd 2008

9.38 am

"Shit!" Olivia whispered viciously as she kicked the door closed behind her. She dumped herself on the nearest cot and sighed.

"Liv?"

"El?" Olivia turned and squinted to see a figure in the dark.

She couldn't see him until he sat down beside her.

"What's up Liv?" He asked taking her soft hand into his own.

"Huang." She groaned.

"Oh had your psych-eval." Elliot sighed, he'd really missed his partner out in the field. "What happened?"

"He wanted to know about my morning, then he asked what me and Melly did on the way to school I told him about that stupid nursery rhyme CD I have and he asked what songs were on it and I told him I skipped the third one he asked why and I explained that we don't like it and he asked me what song it was." Olivia spoke quickly in her temper.

"Twinkle Twinkle." Elliot whispered.

"Yeah." Olivia sighed.

"Come on, let's go down stairs and act like it went perfectly ok, which I'm sure it did. Your reacting normally Liv, there's nothing wrong with not wanting to listen to the song." He stood in front of her and held out his hands.

She took them and used them as a leverage to pull herself to her feet.

Once down stairs she sat at her desk as Elliot bought her a coffee. She could see Huang's shadow in Cragen's office and wondered what the doc would be telling her captain. Sighing she turned her attention to the witness statement she'd been typing up.

"Liv." Elliot said raising his eyebrows so she'd turn around.

Behind her and walking at a fast pace was Cole. She looked at him as he walked to her side.

"Cole?" She asked seeing that he looked flustered. "Is something wrong? Melly?" She asked jumping to her feet.

"No everything's fine and sit down." He sighed.

She did as she was told but it didn't make her less nervous.

"Olivia, I've been trying to do this for weeks, since before the kids but Ah!" He grasped the bridge of his nose between his finger and thumb as he tried to steady his thoughts.

"I've been waiting for the right moment but with everything that's happened there isn't one and I'm scared that there won't be one so I've made myself come up here too ..." He dropped to one knee and whipped a black box from his pocket, in one easy swipe he opened it. "I've come to ask you if you'd marry me?" He asked.

Everyone was staring.

"Cole ..." Olivia's voice shook.

"Well? I don't mind if you say no but I couldn't wait to ask." He was worrying now that she was going to reject him.

She calmly stood up.

"Of course I'll marry you!" She beamed and dove into his arms.

"Really?" He asked as they fell into a heap on the floor.

"Yes!" She gasped as she cupped his face in her hands and kissed him.

He pulled the ring from the box and deposited it on her finger before he pulled her into a passionate kiss, right there on the floor of the bullpen as everyone in the room applauded.

"I love you Detective." He smiled.

"I love you more Detective." She grinned.

Slowly they stood up and he enveloped her in an embrace.

"I'm sorry I had to ask you like this, I'd hoped it would have been a bit more romantic but I thought I'd been waiting long enough to ask." He whispered.

"I'm glad you asked me like this, I had no idea it was coming." Olivia smiled.

They kissed again a deep on that earned them wolf whistles as well as applause. Elliot clapped along for the sake of it but he couldn't deny that there was a jealous rage building inside him.

"Benson!" Cragen called making them break the kiss. "Come on!" He nodded his head towards the office door.

"Shit." Olivia mumbled knowing she was getting the result of Huang's evaluation.

"I'll see you at home." He smiled as he left.

Olivia watched him go before making her way to the office.

"Well I guess you have two reasons to celebrate today Olivia." Cragen smiled as soon as she shut the door.

"Two Cap?" She asked.

"Yup, if you want two that it?" He smiled as he handed over her gun.

"Definitely." Olivia smiled taking the gun in her hand and feeling grateful of its weight as she placed it into the empty holster she'd been wearing for nearly a week.

"Olivia, not listening to the song, that's completely normal, you're obviously close to Melissa and that's what I wanted to see most, that you still had a reason for living, I see now with Cole you have two." Huang smiled.

"Well if you didn't need to know about the song why did you ask?" Olivia sighed folding her arms.

"Intrigue." Huang shrugged.

She smiled and shook her head as she headed for the door.

"Oh and Liv ..."

"Yes Cap?" She asked as she was about to turn the handle.

"Congratulations." He smiled.

"Thank you." She nodded her head and headed into the bullpen.

"So do we get to see this bling?" Fin asked coming over to her.

She smiled as she held out her hand for Fin and Munch to look. She hadn't even looked at it yet. It was a thin gold band with one large diamond in the middle. She rolled the end of the band under her thumb and felt that it was uneven. She turned her hand so her palm was up and found an engraving.

"Together." She read making her smile.

"That's cute." Elliot shrugged.

"Isn't it?" Olivia smiled unaware of the sarcasm in his comment, this was the happiest she'd felt in a long time but definitely since Michael's death.

Benson-Jeffries household, Manhattan, New York

Monday, June 30rd 2008

10.21 pm

"Why do you want to take my surname?" Olivia asked as she and Cole cuddled up on the sofa having finally settled Melissa down for the night.

"Well it's yours and Melissa's why shouldn't I be Benson too?" He shrugged.

"It's not traditional!" Olivia laughed.

"And since when have you ever been traditional?" He asked nibbling at her ear making her giggle foolishly.

"I haven't just thought you would be." She shrugged.

"Yeah? Well there's not much left to learn about me but that was definitely one thing." He smirked.

"What else is there to learn about you? I want to know it all!" She giggled as he pulled her underneath her.

"Well I've been dying to have you naked on this couch since we moved in." He whispered his voice breathy and seductive.

"Really?" She asked her voice also dipped low in seduction.

No more words were needed as the tore each other free from their clothes. There was no foreplay, not love making, but it wasn't just sex. It was passion, need, desire and love all in one go. With ease he slipped inside her making her gasp with pleasure.

"Oh Cole!" She moaned as she wrapped her legs around him, crossing her ankles making him sink deeper inside her.

They kept their cries low and whispered reminding themselves they had a four year old in bed. It didn't stop them though, their hips danced roughly, the sound of their actions filling the warm living room. As they came close to their climax he clutched her hand in his own and pressed it into their beating hearts.

"Together?" He asked breathlessly.

"Together." She replied as he thrust deep into her making them both climax.

E/O is coming very very soon! I'm getting so excited for it! Ha! Anyway, happiness is short lived for Olivia until she's with Elliot so yano something bad is on its way... just what is it?

Please Review!