Sorry! Had to fix this chapter's title cause fanfiction seems to hate the / mark for some reason.
Woohoo! This was a wild ride to make and a living hell for my beta to read.
We reached over 100 follwers! This is amazing, thank you guys so much for the support!
allykat5 and Ira: Since you two have similar requests I'll answer at once, I do have plans for Karin, but I won't have her appear until the Chunin Exams, so sadly Karin's mother will already be long gone by then. (I didn't even realized she had a mom at this point in the show, I never watched that filler episode) But Pedo-snakey will lose yet another powerful research subject from my meddling! :D
Zeak106: Glad you are enjoying the story!
ArmCannos34: Thanks luv :3
Mari: You, and me both. Soon, very soon. Like, in a few chapters soon. X3
Guest33: I take absolutely no offence hun, I love hearing from people. Right now the only person that knows about her is Hiruzen; Hiashi just thinks that the SI has some freaky kekkei genkai and Obito is hinted but unconfirmed. It's a double-edge sword, the more people know, the more freedom she has to change things, but also becomes a bigger target to be captured and tortured for information. Plus it's in character, as she is bad with personal secrets. I'm so happy that you like how the SI is written though. Naruto being confused is mostly because he is a kid, and children being raised by older siblings often have these kinds of behaviors, he'll get use to her being both a brother and a mother eventually, it's his first time having a family, he'll adjust. And finally, for pairings or gen fic: OOOOOOOHHHHHH it's definitely going to have pairings! I am going to be shipping people off, that's why the SI is making Naruto spend time with Hinata, so their relationship is more healthy when they are older. Any other characters are either hinted or unconfirmed for a pairing. (Like Sasuke) The SI will be later in the story (I've been heavily hinting, but it's open for changes), right now she is focusing more on her family and murdering Danzo. Thank you for the review, this caused my brain to think a lot!
Tawnypelt37: I'm glad I'm getting positive responses to the demonstration, I was really nervous about typing it as it is a very serious situation. Thank you for smashing my worries with the happy hammer! ^^
silverwolf310: This interested me greatly as I can see the potential, I might just have to have Deidara go find Oro's lair and snatch them up before they become loyal to him. They are already Pedo-snakes's prisoners so it's a matter of finding them.
"Blah" - Talking
'blah' - Thinking
Blah - Passage of time
* - Explanation in AN down below.
How the dates work:
Year is how many years the SI has been in the Naruto world. So year 1 is the first year of coming to this world and so on.
Months are pretty self-explanatory, "Year 2, month 1" means the event takes place in January. If a month doesn't show up, that means nothing in particular happened. (I am rarely going to skip months)
For the sake of my brain, the SI was reborn the same day as the fanfic was posted.
Warning: Swear words, sexual jokes, violence, cute fluff, OOC moments... let's see... OH! Hidan is in this chapter! ... nuff said, it's Hidan.
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto! Honestly, if I did we wouldn't have to wait over 15 year to see Kakashi's face. -.-
Year 1, month 3
Naruto finally got an 80 on one of his tests. He came home with a beaming smile and excitingly proclaimed that I owe him jutsu training.
So I did, I took him outside and helped him perfect his substitution jutsu. I even taught him how to use other objects when in non-tree areas. (AN: Where do all those logs come from?)
...I'll have to write an apology letter to the ANBU after my visit with Kurotsuchi and the old man.
End of month 3
Naruto bolts out of the house to meet up with Shikamaru, Choji and Kiba, it's good that he is making friends without my influence. He needs to be able to stand on his own. I had to chase him down to give him some snacks though.
Returning to the apartment I look over to Kimimaro, who's just sitting on the sofa reading a book. He needs friends, really badly. A lightbulb appears above my head as I get a mischievous grin, "Kimi-kun, I'm going to the Hyuuga estate, wanna come with, un?"
My brother looks up at me for a moment, before springing into action. He's so eager to go wherever I go, a "no" was impossible for him to give to me.
I let out a small laugh before taking him to the estate. Hiashi had everyone remember my chakra and face so I don't get attacked whenever I enter the front door. Thank Kami for that, the last thing I want to do is accidentally blow up a Hyuuga. The butterfly effect would be catastrophic.
Ko was the first person to greet us, Hyuuga men I guess just do not age well. He's my age, yet he has the face of an adult. I would say I'm jealous, but I like my youthful glow… shit, I'm spending too much time with Gai.
"Hinata-sama is waiting in her room… uh, who is that?" Ko points at Kimimaro, who has learned that unless he wants to get kneed in the back, he'll stand next to me and not behind me.
I give him a disarming smile, "This is my other brother Kimimaro. I brought him here to meet Neji-kun, as they will be classmates in a few days, un." Sadly, I couldn't justify him being put in a class with kids his year. Kimimaro would be more behind than he already is, plus I do not know who he would graduate with. It's better he just graduated late and be able to catch up. Having him be there during Naruto's first chunin exams would be helpful as well… and another chance to smugly rub it in Orochimaru's face.
At first Ko looked unsure, but Hiashi appeared out of thin air, "It's fine Ko, take the boy to my nephew. I'll escort Deidara myself." Ko quickly bows to the Head Hyuuga and with a nod from me, took Kimimaro to the training grounds.
As I was walking with Hiashi he gives me a mini progress report, "Hinata is starting to hold her head higher, she is still timid but… I expect by the time Hanabi is old enough, Hinata will keep her title. There will be no need for them to fight."
All I did was smile and nod. I knew she was making progress, but Hiashi admitting I was right fueled my ego a bit. And I love my ego.
Two hours later
Hinata and I went to the Hyuuga training grounds, she nearly fainting when I told her to yell at me. Guess she's not ready for that juuuuust yet.
Reaching the specified area, my brain could only think one thing.
'Is this a battle… or a dance off?'
Before me is Kimimaro and Neji fighting, each one gracefully twisting their bodies to dodge each other's hits. The Kaguya and Hyuuga taijutsu movements were in harmony with one-another, as they both used their kekkei genkai to best each other.
It was a even match.
I wish I could play music just to see if I could get the boys to dance. This made me wish these two fought during the Sasuke Rescue arc. As much as I love drunk Lee, imagine the beautiful animation we would have gotten!
Sadly, they noticed our presence and stopped their fighting.
"Why did you stop? You two were fighting so beautifully! Go on." I motion my hand for them to continue, "We're just watching, un." I calmly sit next to Hinata who had made tea, 'When did she make that..?'
Neji had to bend his body backwards, as Kimimaro almost instantly began to continue where he left off. It didn't take long for the Hyuuga boy to join in.
Observing the kids closely, I realize that they are SMILING! Two normally stoic, serious characters, were smiling like a couple of nerds at a convention. It was so precious I wish I had a camera.
Note to self: Buy a camera, or make Deidara's scope and input a camera.
End of year 1
I made my scope. PICTURE TIME!
Year 2, month 1
It's New Year's. I am definitely out of my element when it comes to how this holiday is celebrated in an Asian culture. Being American meant annoying fireworks, red, white and blue EVERYWHERE, and lots of drinking from the adults. Seems like in this universe, it's more of a festival and food ordeal.
I decided that instead of just awkwardly trying to wedge my ragtag family into the festivities, I would take them to get their photos taken. Kimimaro already seemed overwhelmed by all of the lights and different yukatas, and Naruto was uncomfortable with the close quarters. Maybe next year.
I help Naruto into his eye-burning bright orange yukata, and Kimimaro got himself dressed in his grey yukata. I allowed him to keep his hair down for this, as putting it up would look odd and none of the hair accessories went with his clothes.
I had gotten myself a blue kimono with silver and white flowers sewn in, with a nice silver obi. Do I look girly? Hell yeah! Do I care? Hell no!
Naruto just looks at me skeptically, "Are you sure you are a boy Deidara-nii?" Poor kid is so confused about my gender.
"Naruto, you have seen me naked. Yes, I am sure I am a man, un." I also have this really deep voice and my lack of boobs should be enough hints.
I take them both to a photo shop, I had booked a spot a while back. Since no one apparently does pictures for New Year's in this village, I had gotten a nice spot where the trees still had leaves and there was a body of water in the distance.
The boys took their picture with each other, it was just a cute "hold each other's hands" photo. I then took photos with each of them. Kimimaro's was more of a traditional Japanese family photo; where as with Naruto, it was me kissing his cheek while he tried to get away.
Finally, I kneeled to both of them and brought them into loving embraces. Having the two of them face the camera, in a soft whisper I say the one thing that is long overdue in their ears.
"I love you."
Our family photo was Kimimaro resting his head on my shoulder, with a peaceful gaze. And Naruto crying, but with a big smile on his face. I'm just smiling, with nothing but love in my eyes.
Later that same month
I gave the boys their late New Year's presents. Silver lockets, that can hold three pictures. Each brother got a picture of each other, one with them and me, and then our family photo. I already had mine around my neck as I helped them put theirs on. I specially ordered both lockets to be resistant to chakra, and Kimimaro's had to be reinforced with stainless steel just incase his bones try to cut it.
At least now, we each have a piece of each other close to us.
Year 2, month 2
Naruto's POV
I skipped class with Choji, Kiba and Shikamaru, it was fun just relaxing and eating snacks. Though Iruka-sensei caught us and we got scolded. Who cares? Well… Nii-san does, but he's busy today! And class ended early within minutes of us returning anyway, so what's the point? It's not my fault a paint bomb exploded in the teacher's staff room… heheheh.
Kimi-nii's class doesn't end for another half hour, so I sat on the swing by the academy and watched as kids got picked up by their parents. Teme and Hinata had to go home so I'm alone right now.
"Ugh… it's him…"
Here it comes, moms like to gossip about me. I can hear them whispering, they always call me things like monster or demon. I still don't understand why. Deidara-nii calls me sunshine, kit, and baby. When talking to both me and Kimi-nii we are the chibis... I like Deidara-nii's nicknames. So… why do these ladies words hurt so much…?
"I'm so glad my child isn't in the same class as that demon."
"I feel bad for the ones that are in his class… after all he's-"
"Shhhh he might hear you." They all sneak glances at me.
I hate this feeling, I am not alone anymore… but I feel outcasted… I-
"Otouto?"
I snap my head to see Kimi-nii standing beside me. I fake a happy grin, but Kimi-nii is smart, he can tell I'm faking. A frown forms on his usually blank face.
"What's wrong?"
I gulp and glance at the women. He notices and hears their whispers. Kimi-nii then puts his hands on my shoulders and look into my eyes.
"Do you know them?"
I shake my head, "No…"
"Do you know their kids?"
"Nu uh… they're not in my class…"
"Are any of them, in any way, shape, or form, connected to Nii-sama?" Huh?
My confused face must have given him an answer.
"Then what should it matter what a bunch of adults say? They are simply wasting their time and making themselves as ugly as their hearts. It's shameful and pathetic." I can hear the ladies gasp with rage.
"You should have better respect for adults young man!" One of the women shouts at Kimi-nii… I felt anger bubble inside me. But it was quickly put to a halt by Kimi-nii's words.
"Then you should have better respect for those training to protect selfish boars like you, ma'am." Kimimaro then lets a sharp bone slowly form from the palm of his hand, scaring the women away.
He has the bone go away then pulls me into a hug, "What matters is you have Nii-sama, myself, Hinata-san and Sasuke-san in your life." To emphasize his point he jingles his locket that Deidara-nii gave him.
I smiled for real this time, wrapping my arms around his neck in a returning hug I sigh, "Yeah…"
Kimi-nii helps me off the swing then gives me a piggyback ride. Ruffling my hair, he then shinobi runs home while I laugh at his attempt to cheer me up.
I love my nii-sans.
Year 2, month 3
After months of asking, I obtained permission to train in the Forest of Death. The council and some jonin were adament on keeping me out, but once Hiruzen had put his foot down, they agreed to let me train there.
Time to work on C4.
Year 2, early month 4
The school incident happened.
Mid month 4
Sakura truly is a bright child. Every task I gave her, she would perform it with her best effort. But her fangirl habits haven't died out. I've had to physically remove her from the area because she became distracted by Sasuke or Naruto would be distracted by her. Hopefully, by the time summer rolls around, I can get her to punch Sasuke in the face without crying about ruining his "perfect nose".
Eventually, I was just sick and tired of Sakura's crap. She's holding herself back and it's disgusting.
"Sakura, you seem to be focusing more on grace than power, un."
She begins to twirl some of her hair while eyeing Sasuke, who is taking a break and absentmindedly sculpting. He's gotten better and it's been a good stress relief for him too.
I snap my fingers in her face with a pissed off expression, "Oh no. If you are just here to watch Sasuke, you can get the fuck outta here, un."
She just gawks at me, but after my arms fold in confidence she snaps at me. "No! I want to become strong! I won't leave!"
"Honey, Sasuke is not interested in you. The only thing he has eyes on is the clay in his hands. Frankly, you don't even know him so why stare at him all the time, un."
"I do know Sasuke-kun!"
"Do you ACTUALLY talk to him? Do you know what he wants for his birthday, or what his goals are? You didn't even know he liked art until last week." I get in her face, "I don't even see why you like him, un."
She pauses, before blushing, "W...well he's strong and…" Her face turns more red as she begins to think of reasons for liking Sasuke. Needless to say, I'm not impressed.
"If he didn't have the Uchiha name you wouldn't even LOOK at him, un. There is nothing about him that's worth dating besides his name." I point at Sasuke who is actually nodding, "Even he agrees with me! There is nothing about him personality wise that makes him attractive, un!"
"THANK YOU, DATTEBAYO!" Naruto throws his arms in the air with a "Banzai!" as Kimi does a soft facepalm.
Sakura finally decides to snap at me, "YOU'RE WRONG! I DO LIKE SASUKE-KUN! YOU'RE JUST A-"
I slap her across the face.
The force from the blow sends her small body flying for several feet and land harshly onto the ground. Naruto winces and holds his own cheek while the others stare at me in shock. I have never striked at anyone before, I usually just bonk them on the head or knock them to the ground. But Sakura just… Kami, I never liked her, even before watching Naruto, a friend showed me Sakura and I instantly hated her.
Guess my temper had to snap at some point.
"Get the hell out of here. The people here actually want to be stronger, you have potential but as I see it now... All I see is a little fangirl. You claim you want to be like Tsunade, but I guess that's too much even for you, un." I apathetically watch as she runs off crying.
End of month 4
While working with Naruto on chakra control, Sakura returned. I patiently waited for her to speak when she drops to her knees and gives me a low bow.
"I'm… sorry… for acting like a brat… please teach me, I will stay away from Sasuke-kun until I have proven myself and you that I can be strong…"
A small smile forms on my face as I make her stand up, "Start running laps, un."
Hopefully by summer I can not only get her to punch Sasuke in the face, but I can also begin to like her for who she is.
Year 2, month 5
Researching on chakra control in the library, I began to do two different things when it came to my training.
The first is whenever I do not wear my scope, I am keeping that particular eye closed. I remembered that minus when Deidara was fighting Sasuke, his left eye is always either closed, or covered with a scope. I theorized that years of darkness or limited exposure to light allowed Deidara to see through the sharingan, as it is a visual jutsu. Hopefully this will work with Tsukuyomi as well.
And the second thing is whenever I am outside, I refuse to wear shoes. I keep a pair of sandals in my clay pouch just incase I need to walk inside a shop; other than that, I just walk barefoot and focus small amounts of chakra into them, making my feet sensitive to vibrations.
I'm basically trying to mimic Toph from Avatar:TLA.
Being an earth user, I only thought this would be fitting. I am no sensor type, not even close, so I have to make myself adjust to the new sensations I'm feeling. But if I can make it harder for people to sneak up on me, that helps in staying alive.
Besides that, it's just really fucking cool to be able to feel everything. Like right now, Daiki is coming this way...
Shit, Daiki.
I ran in the opposite direction as I hear the kid screaming out "SENPAI WAIT! I HAVE SOMETHING TO SHOW YOU!"
"SENPAI WILL NOT NOTICE YOU, UN!"
Year 2, June 15th
For Kimimaro's birthday I took him out and got him a flower pressing kit. I often catch him in the Yamanaka flower shop, so I thought he'd like to have a hobby. I think Hinata also enjoys this hobby so maybe I should have her teach Kimi how to press them properly.
I really wanted to throw a party, but the Kaguya boy was not having any of that. To him, spending one-on-one time with his big brother was good enough.
I ended up nearly suffocating him in a hug from that.
As we were heading home, I couldn't help but notice Kimi looking at a shop's window as we were walking. I only caught on because it was what I use to do as a kid, just quietly look at something and pray my mother would notice. Discreetly, I looked at literally the only thing that would have caught Kimi's eyes.
It was a stuffed dragon, it reminded me of Haku from Spirited Away. In fact, I am 99.9% sure it was designed that way too, long white body with a sea green spine. I stopped in my tracks causing Kimimaro to bump into me.
Without a word, I walk into the small toy shop and bought the dragon. Kimimaro has very few things to call his own, a small stuffy to snuggle with at night is just what he needs.
I take the bag with the flower pressing kit then hand Kimi the dragon, "I'll carry your other present. You hold that, un." I watch as his cheeks begin to grow a soft pink as he hugs the plush, pressing his face against the dragon's long body. Women in the area began to aw at Kimimaro's reaction as I lead him away.
I took Kimimaro away from his intended fate on a dragon, and now he has a little dragon to call his own.
"Happy Birthday Kimimaro, un."
Year 2, month 7
Sasuke and Sakura stand in front of each other with the other kids watching. I have spent the last three months teaching Sakura on taijutsu and earth jutsu, while making her research medical ninjutsu. Needless to say, if everything works out, she'll graduate stronger than before.
It also helps that I convinced her to cut her hair short, so now she has a cute bob. My reasoning behind it was that I gave her one hour to try and grab my hair, then in turn she had to avoid me for an hour. I won, so I gave her some words of wisdom, "If I had the intention to kill you, I could just grab your hair and snap your neck. Until you keep it from being a hinderance, cut it off, un."
Her parents weren't happy, but Sakura actually commented that she felt lighter with short hair.
"Begin, un."
Sasuke quickly starts with throwing shuriken, but Sakura dodges them by rolling on the ground. She waves handsigns just like how I taught her and goes underground. Sasuke looks around, trying to sense where she was, but since he also was not a sensor and didn't have the sharingan yet, he had no idea where she was.
That is, until she popped out of the ground and punched him in the nose. The blow knocked Sasuke right onto his ass.
I am so glad I installed a camera onto my scope.
"Winner, Sakura. Duck-kun, you should put ice on that." I burst into laughter as blood started dripping from his nose. He quickly wipes his face while giving Sakura a nod in acknowledgement.
While Naruto and Hinata begin praising Sakura, Kimimaro walks over to me. "Nii-sama, a sakura is a flower, correct?" I nod with a confused expression. "Then when you first began to train Sakura-san… she withered, but now she is blossoming and starting a new beginning right?"
I had to stop and think about that, leave it to Kimimaro to become all philosophical on me. "Yeah, I guess you're right, un."
Sakura is blooming into a better kunoichi.
Year 2, month 10
For three months I was blessed with a fairly normal life. No one attacked me, the kids all got along fairly well, Hinata even found a friendship in Sakura too. Kimimaro and Neji were almost inseparable, always training together... it was honestly cute.
The boys had found out that they missed my birthday entirely, honestly I forgot about it. I thought Deidara was born in March for some reason, turns out it's May 5th. (AN: When writing this chapter I did forget his birthday and thought it was in March XD) I had to spend a whole day with them to make it up. Not complaining, it was a pretty fun day.
I went through a small stage of depression during the anniversary of being reborn in this world. Considering I died three days after my birthday, I had a right to hide in my room and sulk all day. (AN: I actually did post this fic three days after my birthday.)
I got over it pretty quickly though, as I have a role to play and roles to destroy. Besides, October is here, I love this month!
Since everyone was doing their own thing today I went with Naruto, who had plans on meeting with Choji and Shikamaru. Now, those two I am going to keep my influences to a minimum. Choji became a good shinobi through his experiences and Shika… well he's just a badass in general. But I wanted to meet them while they were still cute and small.
I was not disappointed.
Shikamaru was helping with Naruto with schoolwork while I swapped recipe ideas with Choji. This was a good opportunity for me, as the Akimichi clan were foodies.
"You're a pretty smart kid Akimichi-kun, I never thought about using beef that way, un." Choji almost instantly became shy as I praise him.
"T-thank you… but please, call me Choji! You're Naruto's brother after all!" Everyone needs to stop being adorable, I swear.
I ruffle his hair, "Sure Choji-kun, now go and play with your friends. And thank you… for accepting Naruto, un." I watch as the boy returns to Shika and Naruto, and I ended up falling asleep while cloud gazing.
October 10th
It would have been a crime for me to not do something special for Naruto's birthday.
I made a cake with a fondant ramen bowl on it. Although, I refused to make a ramen flavor cake, Naruto gets strawberry and chocolate flavored one instead. Hinata and Sasuke showed up to help decorate the house while Sakura wrapped presents. I had Kimimaro keep Naruto busy while we prepared the little party.
Later that day Kimi returned with Naruto, and boy was Naruto surprised to see a party all set for him.
The event was actually pretty fun, Naruto got his frog wallet as a gift from me, stuffed full with money and a few ninja tools from the other kids. In the end, Sasuke and Naruto had a cake war after Naruto accidentally flung cake on Duck boy's shirt.
With permission from everyone's parents I let the kids have a sleepover with movies and snacks, Neji came as well to hang out with Kimimaro. Choji, Kiba and Shikamaru joined in later since they all had clan training. The three boys bring snacks and some more presents for the blond.
By the time midnight rolled around I was tucking everyone in. I had some clones collect everyone's futons from home, with the exception of the girls who I put in my room to sleep in.
As I was tucking in Naruto who had settled in a futon between Sasuke and Kiba, he looks at me sleepily.
"This was the best birthday ever, dattebayo…"
I let out a soft chuckle and kissed his forehead.
"Happy birthday my little kit, un."
I turned off the lights and went to sleep in the boy's room.
Halloween*
I spent the whole day scaring the shit out of everyone. Despite the whole village being full of paranoid shinobi, no one seemed to understand that Halloween is a day of fright.
Yes, I asked, Halloween is a thing. But based on the high pitched girly scream Ibiki gave me, you'd think it wasn't. It's not my fault he can't seem to handle my stilt legged costumes! Maybe it was the soulless white mask… who knows. (AN: For a better visual idea, it's the 4-legged stilt spirit costume)
At least the civilians caught on pretty quickly that I was celebrating Halloween, hell some even helped me with my pranks.
The evening was making Jack-O Lanterns with my brothers and eating sweets. Naruto and I got sick though.
Totally worth it.
Year 2, month 12
Weirdly enough, they celebrate Halloween and yet Christmas is not a thing. Oh well, I spent the month training in the Forest of Death and visiting Iwagakure.
When I was there I had bought some earth scrolls for Sakura and I to work on. Kurotsuchi and I finally made up, though she would still try to act cute and I would shut those events down pretty quickly.
Year 3, month 2
"SENPAIIIIIIIII!"
'No... no no no no! Please leave! You've left me alone since October, please go aw-'
"Senpai! Guess what! I'm a chunin now isn't that cool?! And I've gotten super strong so we should fight and stuff! Won't be long now till I surpass you senpai!"
Daiki is climbing the ranks, but his mouth hasn't stopped chattering.
I sweatdrop, "U… Um… Daiki, I'm a little bus-"
"PREPARE YOURSELF SENPAI!" He then dragged me to the training grounds and began spamming jutsu at me. All I could do was dodge and wait for him to tire himself out.
On the bright side, I was able to master the art of seeing with my feet, all within less than a year of training.
Year 3, month 4
Warning: Very cracky!
I'm about to head into the Hokage's office to discuss a mission when I hear an… unfamiliar voice? It sounds like I've heard it before, but where?
"When is this kid gonna get here? I want to get this mission done!"
'A woman..? Doesn't sound like Kurenai…' Slowly, I open the door and peek inside, "You had a mission for me Hiruze-eeeeen!" I was grabbed by the front of my shirt and yanked inside the office.
Oh… that voice belonged to Anko.
I'm sorry, I can't memorise everyone's voices! I only payed attention to her in the dub and everyone here is speaking Japanese! During the scenes of her in the sub, I would often zone out.
Hiruzen sighs, "Deidara, this is Anko, I am sure you've… heard of her. She will be with you on your mission. She will also fill you in on what your mission is. Dismissed."
I was then dragged out by the only person who can rival Naruto on the loudness scale.
Once we began tree hopping I got a debrief on the mission, gather intel on a potential threat and report it to the Hokage. Simple enough.
Well, it was simple… until a three blades scythe decided to be aimed at my head!
'Wait… three bladed?'
Anko and I land on the ground as two more iconic faces emerge from the trees. Ooooohohohohoh, I have been dying to meet one of the two.
Hidan and Kakuzu, the infamous immortal duo, the foul mouthed priest and the miser…
THE ASSHOLES THAT KILLED ASUMA!
'Calm down hun… breath, it's not Shippuden yet. You have time…' I had to take a shaky breath at the sight of these two. Anko gave me a concerned look, but gets into a defensive stance when Hidan spoke.
"Ah, two new sacrifices for Jashin-sama… which heathen should I offer up first?" Wow, he almost sounds polite. In a… disturbing way.
Kakuzu locks eyes with me, "Hidan, the blond is off limits."
"Eh?! What the fuck Kakuzu?!" There we go.
"That's Deidara. The one leader told us to capture, not kill. The woman though can be killed, she has a high bounty."
"Deidara? You mean that's the fucker leader wanted as the puppet fucker's partner?" No Hidan, he wanted me to be his maid.
Now, despite my overall sass, sarcasm, and foul language I am actually a pretty polite person. If you meet me for the first time I tend to be soft-spoken, polite and all smiles. It honestly scares the people that know me on a personal level.
But this is Hidan...so fuck politeness.
"Yikes, you kiss your mother with that mouth, or did you kill her for your pretend god, un?" Anko is looking at me like I'm crazy.
"JASHIN-SAMA IS REAL, FUCK YOU!" Sensitive much?
"No thanks, I have standards."
I hear Anko snort from behind me. Even Kakuzu begins to slowly put his hand over his eyes, I hear him muttering, "Damn brats…" while Hidan just stares at me.
I easily dodge Hidan's attacks as the man wilding swings his scythe, time for more insults!
"If you're this bad at aiming, I'd hate to see how you are in bed, un." Anko is now trying not to laugh, she realized that I'm not in danger and is just watching with amusement.
Hidan's face twists into a scowl, "Wouldn't you like to know, bitch?" You're making this too easy.
"Nah, I'm allergic to anything smaller than two inches, un."
In the corner of my eye, I can see Anko burst into laughter as she leans against a tree. "Y-You're killing me k-kid!"
Ooooo! Hidan's face is matching his eyes! What a lovely shade of pink, "Jashin-sama is going to enjoy having you as a sacrifice…"
"Before you kill me, riddle me this, what is the difference between you, and a couch?"
Hidan gives me a dumb expression. Kakuzu looks like he wants to kill someone and Anko… well she's sorta dying by her tree.
"A couch gets more ass than you do, un!" I state rather innocently with a big cheeky grin. Before Hidan could react, I simply drop a C1 in front of him and with a "katsu!" sends him flying into Kakuzu.
Quickly grabbing Anko, I create a bird for us and fly off before the immortal duo could stop us.
Well, that's one thing off my bucket list!
Anko smacks me hard on the back, causing me to cough, and she gives me a wide grin.
"You're all right, I think I'll keep you around!"
I gulp nervously before nodding, well at least she likes me.
Little did I realize, I made a really good friend that mission.
I had Deidara meet Hidan and Kakuzu when MeiaAdey12 mentioned them a couple weeks back, it was originally going to just be a side story, but then Ebony sword suggested that I befriend Anko and... well this happened. I honestly loved how it turned out, and yes, I would act like this around Hidan. I couldn't resist the temptation. X3
Sakura is also coming along nicely, honestly that girl needed a smack in the face to get her boy craze to stop. She will definitely be in a better shape than when the show first started.
I added more screen time for Choji, and Shika, Kiba doesn't much screen time but later on he will. Honestly there are so many characters to juggle, don't be surprised if some end up like Ibiki where they are mentioned, but that's about it.
*Halloween is my favorite holiday so I decided to have a little fun with it. Also the idea of spirits visiting the living for a short period of time is a universal idea around the Autumn months, I'm just calling it Halloween so it's easier to understand what Deidara was doing. I decided to not include Christmas purely because when I tried to type it out, I just could not bring myself to have it in the story. Japan has tons of spirits and yokai so Halloween seemed appropriate, I could not picture Naruto setting out cookies for Santa or decorating a Pine tree when there are none in the first place. Asia is more into New Year's so I enjoyed that idea more.
This is part one, part two will be out later on with the second half of the time skip. That one will be more focused on Deidara preparing for the future and less on his relationships with the chibis (there will be a couple moments though).
As always, reviews are loved and I will see you guys later.
See ya!
