Yar! Stupidity 'pon the high seas!

Chapter 11: Secret Hideout!

Disclaimer: I know my pants zipper is unzipped. I like it that way!

Gold Stars:

I'm looking for a friend of mine. He goes by the name of 'Jack'... I can get you a few gold stars if you help me find him.


"Yar! We be settin' sail for our secret hideout! Where we store the loot!" Mario commanded.

"Do we really have one of those?" Fox asked.

"Yar!" Mario answered Fox's question. Fox was satisfied with the answer.

So they set sail for the secret hideout.

"Land ho!" Fox screamed.

Ness chopped Fox's body into tiny bits which he fed to his goldfish.

"I'm the one who makes the comments!" Ness screamed. "Land ho!"

The land got mad that the pirates were calling it a ho. It started beating Ness up.

"Yar! Quit fighting with me island!" Mario yelled. "'Tis be our secret hideout ye know!"

Ness and the land kissed and made up and the pirates landed at their island. Really though, they crashed and the boat sank.

So now they were stranded on their secret hideout of an island.

"Yar! Let us be diggin' up our treasure!" Mario yelled.

"We don't have any! Remember!?" Ness cried.

"Yar! Let's be findin' us some treasure!" Mario laughed.

"If this is our secret hideout, and we're the only ones here, and we don't have treasure, where do you suspect we would find any treasure?" Ness contemplasked, a word that means to ask in a contemplative manor. (lol i invented a word wut?)

"Yar!" Mario shouted, giving the order to charge.

Now, let's break precedent and describe what this island looked like. Their ship had crashed on a sandy island a bit smaller than the ship itself. This island had a couple palm trees on it and not much else. This small island was in a natural bay, only a few dozen feet away from a larger island. This larger island had lush vegetation and palm trees all around the bay, and led to cliff faces and large caverns throughout the rocky center. There was a waterfall coming down from the cliff face leading almost straight into the bay.

"Yar! Quit yer looking at the scenery and charge!" Mario ordered.

"This is actually a pretty cool island!" Ness commented. The island wasn't going to let Ness sweet talk it though, it was still mad from the fight.

So Ness led an expedition of people. They charged into the island cave with joy and candy.

They ran into a bunch of knights.

"We are the knights that don't say ni! That would be ridiculous and silly if we did!" Meta Knight yelled.

Samus charged up her arm cannon to blast Meta Knight. She charged too hard, and the arm cannon exploded, cooking her inside her suit.

DK charged his punch by winding his arm back. He wound too hard, and his arm came unscrewed and fell off. He bled to death.

Yoshi prepared to launch his tongue. He successfully launched his tongue... to the moon. He never saw his tongue again, and soon died of starvation.

Ness started flailing his baseball bat around in a wild fighting style. He accidentally smashed Pichu's skull in. Pichu was fine, then he was fined. He couldn't afford the fine and was put to death.

"Now you see what happens when you oppose our knightly code!" Meta Knight yelled, waiving his sword with grandeur. He accidentally cut his mask off, and then died of a lack of mask.

"Whatever..." Ness shrugged, and charged deeper into the cave. His team was dead, and yes, that was his entire team. He stopped caring.

"You are no man!" A viking yelled, jumping out at Ness from beneath some disgusting mud.

"You're right! I'm a boy!" Ness proudly stated. "And that's disgusting as hell!"

The viking caught a cold and died.

At the back of the cave, Ness witnessed the greatest sight he had ever seen.

A knight and a viking were duking it out, right in front of millions of dollars worth of gold coins, all piled together overflowing a grand looking treasure chest.

The knight and the viking died of exhaustion. They had been fighting there for far too long.

Ness quickly let his pirate instinct take over. He pulled out a shovel and buried the treasured deep into the ground. He buried it so deep he made it to the Earth's core, and then died from the pressure and heat.

"Yar! What be takin' the away team so long!?" Mario asked. "And why didn't we all go to explore!?"

With that, Mario sent Bowser with an away team to see what was at the top of the island's mountain. He meanwhile explored the deep, dark, and dangerous mystery that was... the inside of his ship.

Bowser made it to the top of the mountain. There was a geyser.

"We've made it to the top!" Bowser proudly stated, turning to face his team with a satisfied expression. Popo whispered something into Nana's ear.

Nana snuck behind Bowser and got on her knees. Popo pushed Bowser. Bowser landed on top of Nana, crushing her with his weight. She died a miserable painful death.

"Haha!" Popo laughed, pointing at Nana. "Tricked you!"

Bowser coughed. His flame breath engulfed Popo, melting him.

"Pool party!" Falco and Peach yelled, cannonballing into the geyser and dissolving.

"Uhh... alright that's it I'm leaving..." Bowser said, and began to climb down the mountain. He tripped and fell all the way down, shattering his shell and dying. The whole team was dead, because that was the whole team.

Meanwhile Mario was exploring the vast uncharted mystery that was below deck. It was dark, and Mario wielded a torch.

"Hello stranger" a mysterious looking ninja said, hanging from the ceiling. It was Sheik. "If you want to continue down this path, you must answer me this riddle..."

All the blood rushed to Sheik's head and she passed out... and then her head exploded... there was that much blood.

Mario continued down the deep dark trail until he came across a cardboard box.

"Hello stranger!" cardboard box said. "Do you think you have what it takes to continue down this path? (Y/N)"

The cardboard box began to wheeze, and there was scratching and clawing heard from within.

"Damn... I knew I should have cut... air... holes..." And the cardboard box was silent.

Mario continued down the path until he came across a door. In front of him was this door, and the walls and both sides were close and claustrophobic. The ceiling nearly touched Mario's head, and the path he had come from was pitch black and stank of death.

"Look!" Mario shouted.

In front of him was this door, and the walls and both sides were close and claustrophobic. The ceiling nearly touched Mario's head, and the path he had come from was pitch black and stank of death.

"Look!" Mario shouted.

In front of him was this door, and the walls and both sides were close and claustrophobic. The ceiling nearly touched Mario's head, and the path he had come from was pitch black and stank of death.

"Look!" Mario shouted.

I'm not doing it again.

"Open door!" Mario shouted.

It wasn't a valid command.

"Go back!" Mario shouted.

It wasn't a valid command.

"Use torch!" Mario shouted.

It wasn't a valid command.

"Yar!?" Mario asked.

It was a valid command, but we're not sure what it did.

Mario got frustrated, and set the ship on fire. It quickly exploded, killing everyone and thing that existed on the ship.

Mario met Ness up in heaven... I know, the standards have gotten really lax, but there's not much I can do about it.

"Yar! What did ye' find in yer adventures!?" Mario asked.

"There was a cave." Ness said. "I explored it thoroughly..." Ness winked.

Peach giggled.

Mario was confused.

And that night in Cuba, it began to rain pirates... (and of course they just splatted on impact with the ground, so they went back to heaven...)


Yar?

Yar!

Yar and Yar!