Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.


Chapter 11


Hiro felt like his skin was itching from within. He wanted to scratch the itch but he was too scared that it would hurt. Everything hurts, from his head to his heart. The area around his eyes felt heavy too, possibly a bit too strained from the tears. It had been three hours since he had the talk with Tadashi, a talk that made him realise that this was it.

They were done for good. There was nothing now, nothing in between them that could pull them back together again. It was time for Hiro to let all of this pain go, to let his heart soar from its cage, to just be able to breathe again.

It was funny how things have fallen into place like this, even if those places weren't where Hiro wanted to be. He walked back to the cafe, his heart feeling heavy in his chest. He knew that he couldn't expect anything from Tadashi. The man was never going to know the truth and for a second, Hiro did recognise the short thrill of fear running through him at the thought that Tadashi might've figured something out.

But he would deny it to his dying breath if the day ever came.

Tadashi was in love with Honey. He was currently in a relationship with her, with someone he wanted to be with. Hiro wouldn't let something that Tadashi loved—made him happy become ruined just because Hiro thought he needed his feelings to be justified.

There was nothing fair in this world, especially when it came to this feeling in his chest for the taller actor.

He bit his bottom lip as he walked into the cafe, greeted almost immediately by the soft scent of pastries and the slightly bitter smell of coffee in the air. Cass was behind the counter, smiling at one of the customers before she waved them off.

"Hey!" Cass said as her eyes landed on Hiro. The smile on her face froze and dropped when she took in how Hiro looked. The ex-actor winced in guilt, realising that he had been making his aunt lose her smile a lot lately. "Hiro," she started but before she could get a word out, Hiro looked at her and smiled brightly.

He pulled a mask over his face, masking his hurt and pain by this smile on his face. He had done this plenty of times before, so it shouldn't be hard to do it now. However, the guilt only intensified when he saw how his aunt looked a bit sad at the smile.

"I'm going to my room," Hiro quickly said, looking away from her. "Kinda tired."

"Oh," Cass said slowly. Hiro gave her a quick smile once more before he hurried away from her, up the stairs and into his bedroom. He closed the door shut and took in a deep breath. He dropped his bag next to him before he slid to the floor, sitting down and staring right ahead at the dark room.

"What's wrong with me," he whispered to himself, feeling more than exhausted. If he could turn back time, if he could make himself stop from realising that he was in love with Tadashi, he would. He would do anything in his power to make sure he never went near this type of pain. He hated this, he hated his heart and he hated how he couldn't make up its mind whether he should latch on Tadashi or let him go.

It was painfully obvious though. The answer was painfully obvious.

So, why wasn't he doing just that?

Why wasn't he letting the man go?


It was a week since Hiro last saw Tadashi. There was no sign of the man in this city anymore and it took the ex-actor another two more days to realise that the man had left. He had left Hiro alone, just like how Hiro asked him to. He didn't blame Tadashi, he knew he asked for this. He knew he had asked for this solitude, this space between them.

He sighed gently under his breath as he walked down the university's hallway, just walking, heading nowhere particular at the moment. He couldn't help but to think what would happen if he had confessed. What if he had met Tadashi in a different way? What if instead of snark as first greeting, what if instead of the sudden overwhelming dislike for the man, what if he had tried for nice?

What if he had looked at Tadashi and smiled?

Would things had been different now? Hiro faltered in his steps, biting his bottom lip. Probably, he said gently in his head. Probably things indeed would've been different.

Maybe, Hiro wouldn't have even fallen for the man. He fidgeted at where he stood before he shook his head. It was time to move on. He wanted closure, and he got it. It was time to leave everything else behind. He needed to do this in order to be able to be truly happy again.

He took in a deep breath, deciding there and then that this was for the best. He clenched his fists and took another step forward, walking away, determination in his steps. Time would heal this scar inside of him and one day, he might even be able to look back and smile at the memories, despite how painful it had been and how short it was.

When he stepped out of the university, the outside world greeted him with a cold wind, sweeping through his face and for a minute, he felt sweet relief washing into him. He wondered, as he touched his chest, if he was at least a step closer to becoming okay again.

Soon, soon it would be alright.


3 Years Later…


He glanced at the words on the screen before he looked back to the equations lying on his table, staring right back at him. "This should work," he mumbled to himself as he ran his fingers through his hair. It had to work, he told himself before he walked away from the table to the main computer, already initiating the process.

The whole laboratory started to whirl into life before quietening down again. It took a few seconds before the words flashed on the main screen in big, bold, green letters saying 'SUCCESSFULLY INSTALLED' .

Hiro grinned brightly before he walked away from the computer, heading to the small staircase that led to small floor. He took in a deep breath as he reached the floor, eyeing at the white fluffy bot standing in the middle.

It was motionless, but not for long, Hiro was sure of it. He was about to finally do this, he was about to finally finish one of the long-awaited projects that his parents had left behind. His heart clenched tightly in his chest as he saw the vision of his late parents brought to life, right in front of his eyes, now standing in front of him.

It took a lot of trials and failures for him to get to this point. He was ready for this now. He was ready to turn this on. "Okay," Hiro said, taking in another deep breath. "This is going to work. Test—forty-eight? Yeah, that sounds right. Okay, test number forty-eight. If this works, that'll be great."

He took a few steps forward, looking at the fluffy-marshmallow like body. It looked almost like Baymax from the movie he had acted in, with some changes here and there. Instead of becoming flat when it ran out of battery, it would just shut down immediately. It wouldn't work like a medical bot like how he wanted it to work, just for now, more like his personal friend.

Just someone who could care for him when he was hurt or so. A friend he could talk to when he was feeling lonely from long days. He smiled to himself before he took one final step forward.

"Okay, Baymax," he started. "Let's do this. Three, two, one. Baymax, start up."

It took a few seconds before the body started to twitch, wiring up. Hiro instinctively took a step backwards when the body started to move, the black beads for eyes becoming light grey. The head started to shake a bit, as if it was testing itself out. What Hiro wanted now was to see if Baymax was truly in the body or if it was just a pre-programmed shell that was working.

"Baymax?" Hiro said. "You in there?"

A few seconds of silence passed and Hiro began to think that maybe this was another failed attempt when Baymax took a step forward. Hiro jumped at the movement, taking another step backwards in slight hope and fear—fear at the fact that maybe it wasn't Baymax in there; maybe it could be a rogue virus. He licked his lips nervously when still there was no response from the body.

"Baymax?"

"It seems that this body is functional, Hiro," Baymax said as it finally looked at Hiro. The hope turned into happiness and the fear diminished as he grinned widely.

"Baymax!" Hiro said, taking the steps forward again before wrapping himself around the soft body, hugging it tight. "I've done it! You're here!"

A hand slowly patted his back, gently and cautiously. "Yes, it seems so," Baymax said, his voice sounded amused. Hiro chuckled before he let Baymax go, looking at the bot. He couldn't contain his grin, just letting it to stretch on his face and ache his cheeks.

He just couldn't believe it. He had finally done it! He had finally created a body for Baymax. An idea was now a reality. A vision was now real. He could touch it, he could feel it and he hadn't felt this surge of happiness and accomplishment in a long time.

"How are you feeling?" Hiro asked. "Is there anything missing? Anything I need to check? Anything I need to correct?"

Baymax tilted its head to the right a bit before it said, "No, I do not think so. It feels like everything is working as it should be. Hiro, you have done it." After a second, it added, "Thank you."

Hiro just laughed brightly before he patted Baymax on the arm. "You dork, you're welcome."

Just then his smartphone rang, cutting the quiet contemplation. He quickly jogged down the stairs and headed to his phone which was near the main computer's keyboard. "Hello?" Hiro answered his phone with a light tone.

"My, someone's happy," Gogo's voice filtered in, amused. Hiro chuckled before he bit down his bottom lip.

"You have no idea," Hiro said.

"Oh, do tell," Gogo said, a bit curious now. Hiro laughed again before he cleared his throat.

"No," he said playfully. "You can come and see it for yourself."

It was Gogo's turn to laugh and Hiro raised his eyebrows at the reaction. "Well, why don't I come and see what had gotten you so happy now?"

Hiro blinked in slight confusion before he said, "What?"

"I'm in San Fransokyo, Hiro," she said, her voice finally revealing her poorly concealed excitement that Hiro hadn't managed to catch due to his own occupying his mind. "There's this private party and well, yeah, here I am."

"Gogo," Hiro said slowly. "You're here?"

"Yeah?" Gogo said. "Surprise?"

"Gogo!" Hiro started. "That's great! Meet me and I can't wait to show you my lab."

Gogo laughed again. "Right, so where should we meet?"

"What now?" Hiro asked.

"Yeah, I was here since yesterday evening. Sorry, I didn't really have time to call you until now." Gogo sounded apologetic but Hiro simply shrugged it off, knowing how busy Gogo could be.

"It's alright. Why don't we meet at this shop near my lab, I think it's a small book cafe?" Hiro said, unsure of whether it truly was a book cafe. He rarely went to any cafes that weren't his aunt's. But the shop was the closest to his lab and he could save time bringing her here later.

"Right, address please and I'll meet you in thirty minutes?"

"Sure, I'll see you then, Gogo," Hiro said before he ended the call and texted her the address. "Baymax, I'm heading out for a bit. I might bring a guest here later. You think you'll be okay alone?"

"I should be alright on my own, Hiro," Baymax said as the bot walked down the stairs carefully, examining its surrounding, busy taking in how the lab looked like. Hiro grinned before he shook his head. With that, he walked out of the lab and sighed when he stepped out of the pavement.


Gogo arrived a few minutes after Hiro walked into the cafe. She quickly went to order something to drink before she walked up to where Hiro sat and took a seat right in front of him. Hiro smiled brightly at her and she smiled right back at him with the same intensity.

"You look good," Gogo said after a while.

"I feel good," Hiro said with a shrug. "All my efforts paid off, so why shouldn't I be happy?"

Gogo raised her eyebrows and her eyes twinkled amused. "I'm glad you feel happy," she said. "Now mind telling me what gotten you so happy?"

"Nope," Hiro said. "I told you, you have to see it to understand."

Hiro knew it only peaked her curiosity even more. "Now you're really starting to make me wonder," she said as she bit her bottom lip. "I feel like we should immediately go to whatever it is that's making you shine like a thousand watt bulb."

The ex-actor simply chuckled. "Soon," he said. "So, you said something about a private party?"

Gogo nodded. "Yeah, it's a private party, to celebrate for the successful movie release. Remember the movie that you dropped out before you even auditioned for? That movie."

Hiro's own curiosity peaked at that. "Oh, I heard about that," he said though he didn't divulge the information that he hadn't watched the movie. He didn't want to watch it. He pushed way the thought from latching onto him and focused on the conversation.

Gogo just looked at him with a knowing look and gave him a cautious smile and immediately Hiro knew that this conversation was going to take a turn for the worst, to somewhere where he didn't want to go. He narrowed his eyes at her, warning her non-verbally. Gogo simply avoided his eyes and looked at the cup of coffee that was just delivered to her.

"Well, I need a plus one for the party," she said finally and looked at Hiro in the eyes. "So, I thought—you can be my plus one?"

"What?" Hiro questioned in disbelief once the question settled into his mind. "You want me to be your plus one? Why?"

"Because," she started, her lips thinning and her cheeks reddening in what seemed like embarrassment. "Because I couldn't find somebody to go with, alright."

Hiro bit his inner cheek from laughing at his friend and tried to smile assuringly at her. Gogo only glared at him. "Sorry," he apologised. "It's just—aren't you a rising star? Everyone's talking about you right now. You should be able to bat your eyes and get a date!"

"Gee, if that was the case, I wouldn't be asking you out to this party, would I?" she snorted. "Trust me, nobody came close to what I want to bring to this event. They're—superficial."

"And I'm not?" Hiro asked.

"No," she said. "Because you're my best friend. And best friends help each other, right?"

Hiro knew that he couldn't argue with her when she gave him that pleading eyes, staring right into his soul and tugging at his heartstrings. He just sighed as he ran his fingers through his hair. "You really aren't playing fair, you know."

Gogo brightened at that and her eyes sparkled. "So, you would go?"

Hiro licked his lips as he stared at her, seriousness seeping into his gaze. "Is…," he started only for the words to get stuck in his throat. Gogo's eyes softened when she caught on to what he was trying to say.

"Yeah," she confirmed and he frowned heavily.

"I don't know, Gogo," he said slowly. "I mean, it took me three years to feel alright again, I don't think—"

"You don't even have to see him," she quickly said. "I'll stir you away from him, you don't even have to see him. Please, I'll owe you a big one. I can't afford to go alone."

Hiro knew that this meant a lot to his friend but he just wasn't sure if he was ready to face the world he left behind. But the more he looked at his friend, the more he realised that he shouldn't be selfish. He wanted her to be happy too and it had been three years. It had been three years since he had last seen—him. It had been three years since the pain finally cut him open wide.

But it had also took him three years until he could breathe again.

Surely, it would keep his wound still sealed and dry even if he did accidentally met him again? His breath hitched at the very idea of getting to catch a glimpse of the man. But before he could second guess himself, he finally nodded at Gogo. "Fine, I'll be your plus one. You owe me big time, Gogo."

She grinned widely, obviously happy with his decision and Hiro couldn't help but to smile back. "Thanks, Hiro. You're the best, did I tell you that?"

Hiro snorted. "Flattery will get you everywhere."

Gogo just continued to beam happily.


"Woah," Gogo said as she stared at Baymax, who was just staring right back at her. "You…you did this?"

"Yeap," Hiro said, pride obviously colouring his tone. "I mean, it took a lot of failed attempts, but I finally got it!"

"Hello, Gogo," Baymax said politely and Gogo was startled into a laugh. Hiro eyed her cautiously, gauging her reaction but she only seemed excited as she took a step forward.

"Hello, Baymax," Gogo said. "Is it okay if I touch your face?"

"Go ahead," Baymax answered. "I believe Hiro had said it feels like cotton candy and marshmallows."

"He did, did he?" she said as she looked at Hiro and rolled her eyes. Hiro simply grinned, cheeks redding at having caught saying something childish.

"What?" Hiro said. "You touch him and tell me he doesn't feel like cotton candy and marshmallows!"

Gogo did touch Baymax's face then before she gasp gently. "My, it is soft!"

Hiro nodded smugly. "I created him to look friendly," he said after a minute. Gogo nodded, agreeing before she glanced at the ex-actor.

"Are you going to publish this?" she asked and Hiro just shrugged.

"I don't think so," Hiro said as he gave her a smile. "Maybe but definitely not now. Right now, I just wanted to have him for myself."

She nodded again, as if she was trying to understand before she patted Baymax and took a step back. "This is really good, Hiro," she said softly. "I'm happy you did something with your life after leaving behind the past."

"I thought it was time to move on," he said, his voice low. "I can't keep on holding onto something that didn't wait for me."

Gogo didn't say anything to that but Hiro knew that she understood to what he was referring to.

"If you," she started. "If you really don't think you can be my plus one, I don't want to push you, you know."

Hiro didn't look at her but he did take a huge breath. "No, I told you I'll be your plus one, I'll be your plus one."


"A party?" Cass asked, munching on her dinner. Hiro leaned against his chair and nodded. "I thought you didn't want to associate yourself with that type of scene anymore."

"I don't," Hiro said, acknowledging her. "But, it's Gogo. I can't say no to her. I'll sound like a bad friend."

Cass simply gave him an encouraging smile. "What's the party about? You said it was a private party, didn't you?"

Hiro gave her a nervous chuckle before he rubbed the back of his neck. "It's for that movie I didn't audition for," Hiro said, looking away from Cass to his plate.

"Hiro," she began.

"I know," he said as he sighed. "I know, but—I don't know. I just didn't want to let her down."

"But he'll be there, wouldn't he?" Cass asked, her voice tinted in worry and slight apprehension. Hiro winced at the tone and just nodded. "Hiro, you just got over him. You can't put yourself through this pain all over again."

"I know," Hiro said. He sounded weary himself and for the umpteenth time since he agreed to become Gogo's plus one, he asked himself just what he was doing. Just what was he trying to prove? That—that man had no more claim on him? That when Hiro finally got to see him again, he wouldn't feel anything? "I'll be fine," he said finally but Cass simply sighed.

"It's not that I don't believe you," she said. "Because I do. I'm just—I don't want you to get hurt again."

Hiro knew that she was right. She always was and he knew that she should heed her advice and stay put, stay away from this party. His heart gave a shallow thump at the thought of having to see him again and he steeled himself for the ache as well.

He just looked at his aunt and gave her a tight smile. "I know. I won't."

His aunt didn't look convinced but she dropped the topic, much to Hiro's relief.


He was nervous, there was no doubt of it as he was in the same car as Gogo, driving to where the party was going to be held. She was talking about something, her eyes sparkling and Hiro couldn't help but to smile at her. But the truth was, he just wasn't listening. He was stiff as a board and he felt like he was going to have a short panic attack at any moment.

"Here, here, we're here," she said as she pointed to a driveway. Hiro nodded at her quietly before driving his car to the driveway, noting to himself that he hadn't been to this neighbourhood before. He could sense the poshness here and it made him wince at the slight layers of arrogance portrayed in how the houses were built around here. He found a parking spot for the guests and parked his car, getting out without showing much grimace on his face.

"This place is huge," he said as he locked his car. Gogo nodded, adjusting her dress and hair. He smiled at her for a minute before she took his arm and started to drag him to the front door.

"Don't be too nervous, okay?" Gogo said before they stood in front of the entrance. She turned to look at him, adjusting his shirt and fixed his bangs a bit. "There, still handsome."

Hiro rolled his eyes, knowing full well she was trying to diffuse his nervousness. "Thanks, Gogo," he said. "You don't look too bad yourself."

Gogo laughed before she pressed on the doorbell. The door opened immediately, a man grinned at them. "Gogo, you're here!"

"Richard," she said before she walked inside, her arm still looped around his own. "Sorry if we're a bit late."

"No problem," Richard said and his grin widened when he looked at Hiro. "Well, well, well, if it isn't the missing actor!"

Gogo looked a bit troubled at that. "I hope this is discreet? This party, and their plus ones?"

"Of course, everything that happens here, stays here," Richard assured her before he looked at Hiro again, holding out his hand. "I'm Richard Sullivan. Producer for this movie."

"Yeah, I heard about you," Hiro said politely with a smile and took his hand. "I'm Hiro."

"I know," Richard said before he closed the front door and lead them to the backyard where the private party was being held. "I didn't think you'll be Gogo's plus one. It's been what? Three years since we last saw a glimpse of you. Of course, there were rumours that you disappeared here, in San Fransokyo but your agent really kept the paparazzi from finding you."

Hiro just continued giving the man a smile, a bit sharp at the edges at having to watch him prattle about his past. Gogo tightened her grip on his arm as if she was apologetic for this and Hiro simply shrugged at her, not allowing her to see how uncomfortable he was already getting at this event.

Once they entered the backyard, he let his attention to wander around the setting. It was a nice setting with white lights around them. There was some calm music playing at the background and he saw a few other people he recognised from the time he worked as an actor, all hanging out with their own groups and laughing, talking.

At least the thought that he wasn't standing out like a sore thumb for now calmed him down. Richard soon left, leaving him and Gogo alone. He took in a deep breath at that and ran his fingers through his hair. "Sorry," Gogo apologised and Hiro simply patted her hand that was on his arm.

"It's fine," he assured her. "I was expecting that. I had disappeared for three years without notice. At least he didn't go around announcing I'm back from the dead or something."

Gogo laughed at that before she rolled her eyes. "You can be really dramatic when you need to be," she said.

"You didn't know?" he asked in mock shock. "Gogo, we've been friends for a long time. Don't tell me you didn't know this dramatic side of me existed?"

Just as Gogo was about to retort, a familiar voice found them. Hiro looked at who it was and grinned wide when he noticed it was Gordon. "Well, look who came to the party!"

"Gordon," Hiro said before he was enveloped into a hug. Hiro hugged him back before they separated, looking at each other. "It's been a while."

"It has, kid," Gordon said as he patted Hiro's shoulder. "The last time I got to see you was last year. How is your aunt?"

"She's fine," Hiro said with a shrug. "Sorry I haven't kept in contact. I've just been a bit busy with stuff." Gordon simply snorted, making Hiro grin.

"I've been busy too," he said. "I didn't think you wanted to come to this party. I thought with everything, you never want to step a foot in a place like this."

"Gogo was persuasive," he said as Gogo pinched his arm.

"While you both catch up, I'll go and get us something to drink," she said before she released Hiro's arm. Hiro nodded at her and turned his attention back on Gordon, who was looking at him speculatively.

"What?" he asked, unsure as to why he was looking at him like that.

"You and Gogo," he started and Hiro's eyes widened when he realised what he was implying. His cheeks reddened and shook his head, laughing a bit.

"No," he said firmly. "I'm not—we're not. She just wanted a plus one, and she asked me. I said yes. That's all."

Gordon simply looked at him closely before he rolled his eyes. "That's not what it looked like you know."

Hiro simply sniffed, his cheeks reddening even more, unsure how to proceed with this conversation. "It's really nothing. There's nothing going on." Gordon nodded but he didn't look convinced. However, he was willing to move on with the conversation and Hiro was glad that they didn't have to ponder on that issue. He worried the thought in his head, wondering if they did look like a couple.

Gogo would throw a fit if she found out what people thought. Hiro wasn't her type and she wasn't his type either. He was just glad he could have her as a friend. He didn't think they could be anything more and he was hoping they didn't. It would just be terribly awkward since he did love her, but he loved her like how he might love a sister if he ever had one.

Just as the conversation with Gordon continued, Gogo came back with their drinks. "Thanks," Hiro said with a smile and Gogo grinned back.

"Gogo," someone said, walking up to them. Hiro looked at who it was and froze when his eyes landed on her. She was walking towards them before she stood in front of them, a grin bright on her face. Gogo smiled back before she hugged her. "Glad you can make it!"

"You too, Honey," Gogo said before she glanced at Hiro shortly. Hiro felt his heart stop beating when—he walked up and stood next to Honey. Hiro didn't dare to look at him, but he kept his gaze on Honey, who looked at him back with a confused and yet surprised look on her face.

"Hiro?" she asked. "Hiro Hamada?"

Hiro cleared his throat nervously, feeling the prickling sensation of nausea crawling under his skin. Gogo looped her arm around his again, grounding him on Earth. "Y-yeah," he said, his voice stuck in his throat.

"My god," she said, her voice in awe. "You're really here. When Richard said you're here, I didn't believe him."

"Well," Hiro began before he licked his lips. "It's nice meeting you again, Honey."

She smiled brightly then. "You too, Hiro," she said before she looked at—Tadashi. "He's really here."

Hiro took a small step back, avoiding looking at the man as he sipped on his drink. But the drink was too hard to swallow and he just wanted to disappear for good this time. Before Tadashi could say anything, he made an excuse and left the group, looking for the restroom.

He was breathing heavily by the time he turned to an empty corridor. He leaned his back against the cold wall and slumped against it, trying to keep his heartbeat in check. With dread washing in him, he noticed that he was shaking gently. He realised with fear that he couldn't do this after all. He couldn't face him after all.

Why, he demanded himself. Why couldn't he just be fine?

"Hiro?"

Hiro froze. He didn't look at the man, he just continued to stare at his feet. He felt a headache coming on and he wanted nothing more but to just slid down to the floor. It had been three years, for God's sakes. What was wrong with him? Why couldn't he shake himself away from this pain?

The ache started up once more and it hurts. "Hiro," Tadashi said, his voice was soft in this empty, quiet corridor. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," he croaked out. "I'm fine." He repeated the same mantra in his head, making himself, forcing himself to believe that it was true. "I was just a bit overwhelmed."

After a minute, Tadashi stood next to him, leaning against the wall as well, startling Hiro with his close presence. "Is it because of me?"

Hiro laughed, feeling exhausted. Why couldn't he just leave all of this behind? "Yeah," he said finally, not bothering to do this denial thing any longer. He was tired. He thought he was going to be fine after three years but here he was, back to square one.

"I know," Tadashi said quietly, his voice sounded a bit off. "It's been three years."

"I know," Hiro parroted Tadashi. "That's why."

"I…," Tadashi began before he sighed. "I don't understand."

"Me either," Hiro said before he straightened himself. He clenched his fingers into a fist at his sides and took in a deep breath. "How, ah, how are you?"

"Fine," Tadashi answered shortly. "What about you?"

"Before this? I was fine too," Hiro said, his voice came out shaky. "God, I don't know why I'm feeling this way. It's been three years. It should've been okay. I should've been okay. I should've been able to look at you and not hurt. Why does it hurt so badly?"

Tadashi was quiet for a while before Hiro felt a hand touching his shoulder. Hiro flinched at the touch but the grip only tightened before Hiro was nudged to look at him. It took a second for Hiro to notice the differences in Tadashi. For one, he no longer looked like a teenager—he looked matured. He changed his hairstyle, making him have the adult look on him.

His eyes looked serious, like they had been like that for a long time. For a minute, Hiro wondered if he lost the man he used to hate or liked or—loved. Who was this shell in front of him. Tadashi didn't smile at him, but he looked pained before he dropped his hand and took a step back, once again standing against the wall.

"I," Tadashi said. "Don't know what else to say. We don't see each other after three years, not even a word and then you suddenly appear here. Then you run off immediately when you see me and Honey. I don't know what's going on."

"Still looking for answers?" Hiro asked, smiling wryly at him. Tadashi shrugged.

"I told you I wouldn't demand any answers from you, didn't I?" he said slowly. "I won't break that promise."

Hiro shook his head. "Why are you even here? Won't Honey feel weird you ran after your—fake ex?"

Tadashi gave him a smile that held no humour. "She knows the truth."

Hiro felt a pang going through his chest and nodded. Of course he would tell Honey about it. Why wouldn't he tell her about the ruse? But there was a point in his life that he thought that maybe, if nobody else knew about the ruse, then maybe he could've pretended that he did have Tadashi. Maybe he could've pretended that he had been with the actor.

But of course, Tadashi wouldn't even give him that pleasure to do so.

"Of course," he said bitterly. "What was I expecting?"

"Hiro," he said, his voice now held a warning at the end. "If you're hurting because of me, then feel free to hate me but—she didn't do anything to you. You don't have to—"

"Oh, shut up!" Hiro finally snapped, looking at Tadashi in the eyes. "Why the hell would I even like her in the first place? So what if I hate her?"

"She has done nothing to you!" Tadashi sneered, standing straight and taking a step forward. "Why is it every time I talk about her, you get like this?"

Hiro gritted his teeth. "Well, that's the problem, isn't it? You never know!"

"It wouldn't be like that if you just told me why I'm hurting you!" Tadashi yelled, his voice held some tint of desperation. "I waited three years. I tried my best to forget about you, to forget about the look you had on your face when I left you that day—I just…I can't. Something about the way you looked made me feel so guilty. What did I ever do to you, huh?"

"Tadashi," Hiro started.

"No, I don't understand," Tadashi said, cutting him off. "I hate this, okay? You were the first person to ever elicit this—this competitiveness in me. I didn't think I could've been where I am if you didn't sneer at me or mock me, making me work harder than I ever did to get where I am. And suddenly, you're done with me? You think you're the one who's hurting? I'm hurting too, Hiro! You hurt me too."

Hiro closed his eyes tight, feeling his heart constrict at the words, knowing full well how Tadashi felt. "I just can't tell you. You'll hate me for real."

"You already hate me," Tadashi said bitterly. "So, why don't you just tell me so we can make this feeling mutual?"

The words were cruel and it cut through Hiro like a knife. It made him agitated that he made Tadashi act so cold towards him. He knew that he was pushing the man away, even more than before. He knew that he hurt Tadashi too and he knew that he should just explain everything. Why shouldn't he?

"I don't want you to hate me," Hiro said finally, his eyes prickling. God, he felt so pathetic, just like how he had felt three years ago. "I don't want you to hate me. I never wanted that. I never hated you. If you knew—if you knew, Tadashi, you'll just break my heart."

"How the hell are you so sure I would break your heart if you wouldn't tell me?" Tadashi asked.

"Because you already did, can't you see?" Hiro said, exasperated as he glared at the man. "Can't you see that you've already broken my heart to pieces, shattered it and—I can't do this. I'm going home. I knew this was a bad idea."

"No," Tadashi said as he grabbed Hiro's arm and held him in place.

"Let me go," Hiro said harshly. "For fuck's sakes, I don't want to do this!"

"But I do!" Tadashi said, his eyes now were filled with irritation and anger. "Why don't you end my misery too and tell me!"

Hiro shook his head but Tadashi wouldn't let him go. He just clasped his hands against Hiro's shoulders and shook him. "Hiro, enough. Just tell me so I can fix it, goddamnit."

"It'll ruin you," Hiro said, his eyes were now tearing up. "Let me go."

"I won't let you go," Tadashi said. "I'm not letting you go until you tell me, Hiro."

"Go back to Honey, Tadashi," Hiro said as he tried to leave but the grip on his shoulders tightened. "Tadashi."

"Why?" Tadashi finally asked, his voice sounded tired. "Why are you making me feel so guilty? Why are you leaving me feeling so wrong?"

"I'm sorry," Hiro said.

"I have the right to know," Tadashi said. "Please, just tell me. Hiro, if you don't hate me then—then you're leaving me no choice but to force the answer from you. You know—you know I could know. Aren't you going to tell me now?"

Hiro stubbornly remained quiet. If Tadashi wouldn't let him go, he wasn't going to acknowledge the man in front of him. He couldn't destroy Tadashi's relationship with Honey with his own feelings. He knew that Tadashi loved her. He knew he wanted her. He couldn't do this to the actor, no matter how much it hurt him even after all these years.

"Hiro," Tadashi said before one of his hands touched his face, jolting Hiro from his thoughts. The tears had already started to run down his cheeks and he thinned his lips as the man nudged his chin to look at him. The actor simply sighed before he gave a weak smile. "You're making me guess. I—I don't know how close this is but…the only thing I could come up with is that…you do like me, don't you?"

Hiro tried to look away but the hand on his face prevented him from doing that. "Hiro, you like me don't you? I thought at first that there was no way you'll feel something like that for me, but you do, don't you? You like me. That fake relationship, that meant something to you, didn't it? You wanted—you wanted it to be real. You like me."

Hiro felt his heart quivering, knowing full well that Tadashi had hit the bullseye. He looked at the man, as the actor looked back at him, quiet and tired. "Don't you?"

"You're so stupid," Hiro said finally before he pushed Tadashi away, his whole body shaking from having his heart dissected so thoroughly. "You're so stupid and oblivious."

"But I'm right, aren't I?" Tadashi asked. "You like me—"

"I love you," Hiro finally said, his eyes staring at Tadashi's face. "I'm in love with you. I love you. I don't like you, I love you. Yes, the relationship did mean something to me, but—Tadashi, I don't…This is why I didn't tell you. You're with Honey. You love her. There's nothing for me here. Looking at you makes me feel—horrible knowing she could have something I can't."

Tadashi looked pained and Hiro felt his self worth shattering. He blinked his eyes as more tears gathered at the edge. "Don't look at me, don't look at me like I deserve pity. I don't," he said firmly. "I know you don't feel the same way. So…just…"

But his heart was worn out and he felt just overused. He felt tired and he just crouched to the ground and hugged his knees, burying his face on it, letting his tears come down, the sob getting caught in his throat. Why was he acting so pathetic?

He felt shattered, he felt so sad. A pair of arms wrapped around him and before he knew it, he was dragged into an embrace, his face mushed against Tadashi's chest as they sat on the floor. "I'm sorry," Tadashi said quietly and Hiro just closed his eyes and hugged the man back, tight. He cried, not knowing why this felt even more painful than before.

"I just wish this pain would end," he said into Tadashi's chest. "I wish you could feel the same way."

Tadashi's embrace tightened. "I," he started. But Hiro didn't want to listen. He didn't want to hear anything. He just continued to hug him tight.

"Please, don't," Hiro said. "I know. I don't expect anything else. Just—don't."

Tadashi simply raised his hand and ran his fingers through Hiro's hair, calming the ex-actor down. Hiro didn't hear any more response from Tadashi and for a while, he just lied like that in the actor's embrace, letting the tears out. If he had a shred of rational thought, maybe he would've scrambled away embarrassed but right now, he just needed this.

He knew he wouldn't get any more of this. This was the end of the road. He wasn't going to get his happy ending and so, he would take what he could get right now, let himself believe that this was what it was when it wasn't.

He closed his eyes tight and hugged Tadashi tighter.

If he felt the embrace tightened a fraction more, he didn't complain. He just let himself have this moment before he had to say goodbye again, this time—for forever.