Impossibilities
Chapter 11
A New Foe, Part 1
()()()
There are a multitude of buildings in Ponyville, of all different shapes and sizes. However, none of them are as strange, unique, or indeed memorable as the local bakery, Sugarcube Corner. It had been there for a while, and some absolute madman (madpony?) had decided to make it out of various confections (although they weren't edible; that tends to happen when the recipe calls for a multitude of ultra-strength preservatives). That fellow had passed away long ago, as had the next owners, thus leaving it to the current proprietors, Mr. And Mrs. Cake. However, they often had to leave to make deliveries, giving control of the shop to…Pinkie Pie, that excitable party-thrower. Today was one such time, which was very convenient, as there had been no less than four new ponies introduced that day, and that was more than enough reason to celebrate in her book.
But a party isn't a party without guests, and she knew the perfect ones: her friends, of course! Along with as many other ponies as she could get.
Allow me to go back in time a bit, before Chester teleported away. She had spent every moment since her, uh, "meeting" with Simon and Lewis preparing for it, pulling out her streamers and balloons and treats. Trouble was, by the time she had finished setting up, not only had the two colts disappeared, but so too had all of her friends. None of them were in any of the usual places; everywhere she searched had a major lack of them, which was very strange. By the third check on Sweet Apple Acres, she had gotten suspicious.
"Something's funny here, and not in the good way!" She announced, leaning against an apple tree.
"Who ya talkin' to?" A large, red, blonde-maned colt with a yoke around his neck walked up to her.
"Oh, hiya, Macintosh! Have you seen Applejack anywhere?"
"Last time I saw her, she was talkin' to a unicorn feller in a big ol' fancy hat. Then they just…disappeared outta nowhere."
Pinkie thought back. She vaguely recalled an electric yellow unicorn in a large topper.
"Oh, him? What would that guy want with Applejack?"
Macintosh grunted. "I don't know."
Pinkie put her hoof up to her chin, deep in thought. But that was pushed out of her mind as she saw Applejack walking towards the farm, along with a very bloodied Rainbow Dash.
"Oh my gosh, Dashie, are you alright?" Pinkie ran over, shocked at the state she was in.
"Ugh…Pinkie?" Dash weakly looked up. "What are you doing here?"
"I was looking for you guys! Where'd you run off to?"
"Sugarcube, I think the question is more why that Jack feller didn't try and get you to help!"
"Help with what?" Pinkie asked quizzically.
Dash sighed. "It would take too long to explain, and I'm tired."
"So…I guess you're not coming to the welcome party for the new ponies, then?" Pinkie sounded disappointed.
"Oh, yeah, the party…" Dash looked away. "I don't know, Pinkie…they can get pretty hectic, you know."
"That's okay…" Pinkie put on a large smile. "I'm sure everypony else will have a great time!"
She was trying to sound cheerful, but it only half worked. There was still a twinge of disappointment in her voice.
"Oh, fine. I'll…need to rest for a bit, though. When is it?"
"Uh…" Pinkie hadn't actually thought that far ahead. "Five o'clock?"
"Yeah, sure. Everyone else is at the library, I think."
"Hooray!" Pinkie ran off at a speed that would put even Dash to shame.
"I still don't know how she does that." Dash noted. "I'd better get myself cleaned up. And where did Applejack go, anyway?"
()()()
"Hello, Twilight?" Pinkie had just arrived at the library, and was wildly pounding on the door.
"Pinkie?" Twilight opened the door, looking at the bubbly pink pony standing there.
"Hi, Twilight, are those new guys here?"
Twilight winced slightly, knowing exactly what Pinkie wanted.
"Well…yes, but we're kind of in bad shape. I don't think a party for them is really the best…"
"A party?" Simon asked, suddenly interested. "What's the occasion?"
"You, cause you're new, silly! I always throw a party for new ponies!"
"Well, that doesn't sound too…"
"Simon," Jack interjected, "Could you come over here?"
"What?" Not knowing what else to do, Simon walked over.
"I think the Baron is planning his own surprise, if you know what I'm saying." Jack was speaking in a low whisper, trying to hide himself from the others.
"Uh, not really?"
Jack sighed. "I think he hired a mercenary of some sort to kill us where he failed."
"Uh, Jack…" Twilight began, "We can hear you."
His eyes widened. "Well…I suppose I should come up with a plan. Simon, Lewis, you go to the party with…whoever else is going. Adam, you come with me to make sure that whoever the Baron hired doesn't even get that far."
"Right, teleport!"
Adam disappeared in a flash, and Jack walked out without another word.
"He does know that's not necessary, right?" Spike said.
"I guess if he wants to do that, it's fine." Twilight looked around. "So…now what?"
()()()
"So, Mr. Altopokoleps," the Baron started, in the same location as before. It was barely a minute after Chester betrayed him, although he had seen that coming, and planned accordingly.
"Please, call me Krastos."
"Very well. Krastos, your mission is to take down the so-called 'Elements of Harmony'. I trust you know who I am referring to?"
"Of course."
"Good. I must also ask you to kill Jack, Adam, and Chester."
"Certainly."
"I also desire that you bring me some of them back alive. Specifically, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, and those two British fellows."
"What about Fluttershy and Rarity?"
The Baron smiled that evil grin he always got when imagining something gruesome. "Kill them."
"Of course. I will now be leaving."
Having said everything that needed to be, Krastos let himself out, revealing the bright sunshine. He grimaced, holding up his hand to shield his eyes.
It was difficult to describe his looks, because a featureless metal mask covered his face, and a fedora kept his hair from being seen. He was wearing a solid black trenchcoat, along with pants of the same color and leather gloves. He appeared very strong, because of his almost unbelievable size and bulk.
But that's not particularly important. What was important is that he barely took a few steps down the dirt road before he heard two ponies approaching.
"That didn't take long."
He didn't move from his stance as they walked up. He had guessed who they were already, and put both hands inside of his coat, reaching for some unseen objects.
"Come on, my little ponies. Come to papa."
The instant they came over the hill, Krastos pulled his hands back out, holding two tranquilizer pistols.
"Whoa!" Dash shouted in surprise. "What are…"
He pulled the triggers, sending two small red darts towards them. The two friends didn't have time to scream before they fell to the ground, unconcious.
"That was almost too easy."
Krastos put his weapons back, and walked over to the unmoving forms.
"No, it definitely was too easy."
He picked both of them up, on in each hand, and turned back to deliver them to the Baron. From the outside, it seemed just a nondescript shed, with nothing to make it seem at all suspicious…or large enough to contain the room Krastos was just in. Still, he had seen stranger things happen.
()()()
"Come on, where are they?"
Pinkie was walking around the bakery, staring at the clock. Everyone else was there, and had begun partying without her, but two guests were still missing.
"Dashie and Jackie should have been here by now!"
"Maybe they just ran into a problem." Twilight offered, trotting up next to her.
"Well…I'm going to go look for them anyway."
Before Twilight could protest, Pinkie ran out, looking everywhere around her. She didn't see her two friends, but she did at the very least see Adam walking over to her.
"Pinkie, have you seen Rainbow Dash?" He asked, out of breath.
"I was about to ask you the same question! Well, not exactly the same question, but it would have been close enough to…"
Jack stepped up to her left. "I think he gets it. Seen anything?"
"No. I think something is definitely very wrong here."
Jack's mind immediately went to the worst possible scenario…but then he remembered the SPARTANS project, not to mention shooting that steam-powered atrocity Pinkie had become through the eye. In other words, it went from the worst possible scenario to one that was even worse than that.
"Oh, shi…I mean, we need to help them, now."
"What do you mean?" Pinkie asked.
Jack didn't want to say it, not to her.
"They…they might be in danger. Adam, scan the area for dark magic. I'll fly up and look around from there. Pinkie, keep everybody distracted. Things may be getting very…interesting."
"Right!"
Pinkie ran back inside, leaving Jack and Adam to themselves.
"Well, now that she's gone, I'm going to search around."
"See ya." Adam said, Jack flying up and away to search the area. "Bye!"
He stared at Jack flying away for a few moments, before closing his eyes and beginning his job. Focusing his magic on significant anomalies, he quickly noticed…nothing out of the ordinary.
"Huh." He mumbled in confusion. "I guess the Baron ain't here, then."
He started walking away, to search a different location, but a sudden wave of nausea crashed against him.
"Oh, damn it…" In his last moments of consciousness, he could feel some strange device latching around his body and pulling him up into the clouds.
()()()
"Come on, where's the Baron, where's the Baron…"
Jack had been at this for several minutes now, and hadn't seen a thing that could even vaguely be considered suspicious.
"He wouldn't have given up. He always has a backup plan, there's always something else he…"
Upon seeing the balloon, Jack promptly shut up. It vaguely resembled Twilight's (he still wondered how she got that), but rather than the two different shades of purple, it was red swirls on a background of some crudely stitched-together material he didn't recognize. But his eyes were drawn to the figure within it, one cloaked entirely in black, turned away from him. Whoever it was, he reached inside his coat, pulling something out.
"What the hell is…oh, fuck me."
The suddenness of the realization meant Jack could only watch as the harpoon, aimed squarely at him, flew towards its target. He moved out of the way in a flash, but it wasn't enough to avoid it completely.
At first, nothing. But when the searing pain blasted through his wing and up his entire body, he couldn't even scream as he plummeted to the ground, landing in a bush for the second time that day.
"Damn it!" Krastos whispered. "I missed. He is better than I thought."
But Krastos underestimated Jack's resilience. Fighting through the almost blinding agony, and a few leaves and branches, he found himself outside in the street. He had gotten shot a few times before, but it still hurt like a bitch and a half.
"Krastos. I should have known."
Jack sighed. "Shit. He's got Adam…and Dash, and AJ…why couldn't I see this coming?"
He kicked the ground, wincing in pain as his fresh wound throbbed.
"Simon and Lewis. They can help."
Jack knew the rest of the ponies would be too tired, or too injured, or simply unwilling. Simon and Lewis…they were a bit dense, but they would still be able to do it. Jack ran off to get them, hoping it wasn't too late for his newest recruit…
()()()
But Jack wasn't the only one who wanted to fight Krastos. Another man, also hired by the Baron, knew what he needed to do, what was right. And maybe if he played his cards right, he could get some extra cash as well.
"You clever bastard." Chester said, adjusting his glasses. He had just seen Adam get pulled up by a winch into a hot air balloon, owned by Krastos. He was doing something else now, something with a harpoon gun.
"What's your plan?" Chester pondered to himself, getting ready to run.
He was soon met with an answer. The pony he knew to be named Jack Edwards flew into his vision and evidently Krastos' as well. When the Grecian whisked around and fired, Chester knew that would be his chance. He fired his grappling hook at a cloud near the balloon, knowing they were very solid compared to normal boring Earth clouds.
"Let's rock and roll."
Krastos had no idea that Chester was even there, so he was totally unprepared for the kick at the back of his neck that forced him out of the balloon and almost a hundred feet to the ground. That wasn't what Chester wanted to happen at all, though, he merely wanted to faze him and get in a few more strikes, not commit first degree homicide.
"Shit!"
He peered over the side and gained…mixed feelings. Krastos wasn't dead, since he was getting up after leaving a large dent in the dirt path, but on the other hand…he was still alive.
Chester let out some hot air, forcing the balloon to lower, with Adam still in it. When he landed, two more ponies were standing beside his balloon; Simon and Lewis.
"Oh, shit," said the dwarven one, "Who are these guys now?"
"Chester!" Jack yelled. "I wouldn't have expected to see you here. Trying to share the bounty?"
Chester panicked, and waved his hands in defense, trying to offer some explanation. All that came out were random syllables.
"You're both working for the Baron?" Lewis asked.
"Get him!"
At Simon's word, they both ran forward, readying an attack on both the guilty…and the semi-innocent.
"Wait…no!" Chester insisted, to no avail. "I'm a good guy!"
"You're working for the Baron!" Simon yelled, bucking up at Krastos' chest. "You're aAAAH!"
The Greek was having none of the dwarf's nonsense, and immediately swatted him to the side like a bug. Chester began to run away, realizing that he had very little chance in this situation.
"Oh, damn it…" Lewis muttered.
"You are the ones I must defeat? This is pathetic. I could kill everyone in this village without even trying."
"I don't think so!" Lewis got into a fighting stance, prompting Krastos to laugh.
"You want to fight me? You cannot even use magic! What can you possibly threaten me with?"
"Correction; I can use magic, I just don't know how!"
"How does that change anyth-"
A bright flash, along with a loud bang, cut him short. Of course, it didn't actually affect him.
"A Flashpop? Really? You can do better than that." Krastos mocked.
"Uh…" Lewis panicked. It seemed to be the only spell he could really do, and it took a lot of focus.
"Oh, I get it!" Krastos announced. "You guessed that since you couldn't control your magic, you could use more power in an attack! You are a fool. This is how you use magic."
Lewis gulped, as Krastos brought his hands together.
"Goodbye, little pony!"
His hands separated, and a line of black smoke flew out from it towards Lewis. Upon collision, the red colt found himself flying into the wall of another building. He crumpled to the dirt road, seemingly defeated.
"And as for you…" Krastos turned around, to confront Chester, only now realizing he had left.
"Such a coward. He is no threat to me."
"YAAAH!"
Simon leaped out of nowhere, trying to buck Krastos' chest. The element of surprise prevented Krastos from reacting quick enough, and Simon's hoof made contact. If it had been a normal person, his sternum would have shattered, causing his chest to basically cave in. But Krastos was hardly normal. The attack barely made him stumble backwards.
"Ha!" He laughed. "Is that all?"
"No!" Lewis announced, suddenly getting up as well. "It's not!"
"You are still alive? How strong of you. It is a shame you shall die!"
"Not today!" Lewis tried to think of something else that he could do. In a moment, he got it.
"Look behind you!" he shouted.
"That trick won't work on-AAAGH!"
A large sign, displaying a quill and a sofa, slammed into the back of his head, corner-first. He stumbled, blood beginning to flow out.
"Enough!" He yelled. "I will end this!"
He pulled a machete from his coat, and waited politely for Simon to get into position next to Lewis.
"No, if anybody's gonna end this, it'll be us!"
()()()
At the same time, Chester was…elsewhere. He had managed to get back to the Baron's hideout, and was looting it for whatever he could find. In a few moments, he found exactly what he most wanted: several brand-new briefcases, stuffed with hundred dollar bills.
"Bingo!" He smiled, pulling them out of their hiding spot in the wall.
"Surely you are better than that, Chester." The Baron said, walking in out of nowhere.
"Shit!" Chester lost his balance and fell to the ground, as his ex-employer stood over him.
"Trying to steal my employee's money? I really expected more from you. First your betrayal, and now robbery. Why are you degrading yourself like this?"
"Uh…eat this!"
Chester picked up one of the briefcases and threw it towards the Baron's head, splitting open his forehead and forcing him away.
"GAH! You'll pay for that!" By the time the Baron looked up, though, Chester was long gone, along with the briefcases.
"Damnation, he escaped. And Krastos hasn't killed him already? Something is very strange…"
That's when it clicked.
"That coward! He never intended to fight Krastos! He just wanted to get away from Luna and get my money!"
The Baron screamed in anger, letting his rage be heard throughout the forest.
()()()
"Okay, gotta run, gotta run, gotta run…"
Chester was running as fast as he could away from the shack, carrying all three of the briefcases with him. He heard a scream from somewhere, Ponyville, to be exact. Something crashed, and there was yet another sound, something like an explosion.
"What the hell was that?"
He stopped running for a moment, thinking of what to do. If he left now…Simon and Lewis didn't stand a chance against Krastos, even if they were doing passably the last time he saw them.
"Damn it."
Cursing his conscious, he threw the money into a bush and ran towards them, drawing out his magic blade.
()()()
Krastos knew his victory was pretty much confirmed. His foes had fought valiantly, but it would not be much longer before their energy ran out.
They were standing in front of him now, breathing heavily. Still, they fought.
"You'll never win," Simon whispered, "we won't let you!"
"You have already lost! Why do you still fight?"
"Uh…" Simon had to admit, he wasn't sure. But even if he didn't know entirely, he still knew he had to fight.
"You are both fools! How did you even survive this far!"
Krastos prepared another explosive ball of magic, not wanting to drag the battle out even further than he already had. He was almost ready…before a red blur hit him on the back of the head. The attack dissipated, and Krastos turned around to find Chester, some sort of shield emanating from his watch.
"So, the coward has returned to die!"
"Not today!"
Chester switched the time on his watch again, drawing his sword.
"You think your puny sword can harm me?"
Chester didn't answer, only pulling back his arm to stab through Krastos. A very bad choice of attack, as Krastos merely kicked him in the gut when his arm was out of the way. Chester anticipated this, and stepped backwards when the boot made contact, but it still hurt.
He shook it off within seconds, and slashed at his opponent's head. Krastos ducked beneath it, and grabbed Chester's arm.
"I will crush you like a bug!"
He began squeezing, but of course something interrupted him, a large harpoon stabbing into his back. This was surprising, to say the least, and he released his prey to look at his assailant. Lewis' horn was glowing, and he was grinning smugly.
"I guess I can do that, too!" He said.
"How dare you…"
A blade of magic energy suddenly stabbed through his chest, shutting him up immediately.
"You are a true coward. Stabbing somebody when their back is turned."
"Yeah, well, I still win!"
"No…"
Krastos started glowing, and Chester panicked, pulling out his sword. In a moment, Krastos disappeared in a cloud of smoke, leaving nothing to imply anybody had stood there.
"Now, as for you…" Simon said, preparing to attack Chester as well.
"Ah…look over there!" Chester pointed to something behind them, and when they glanced away, he followed Krastos' suit and teleported somewhere else.
"There's nothing…Shit!" Lewis sighed. "Did we really fall for that?"
"Doesn't matter." Jack said, suddenly standing behind both of them. Startled, they turned to face him. "Krastos is gone and Chester probably won't be back here for a long while. Shame, that. He and Luna were pretty close all those centuries ago."
"So…party?" Simon ventured.
"I suppose."
And so, they walked back into Sugarcube Corner, where everyone had been partying so much, none of them heard any of what just transpired.
()()()
"So," The Baron began, in a backup shed he had prepared in the event of failure. "Will you be able to destroy Celestia and Luna?"
"Of course I will." Answered Tirek, hidden in shadows.
"And get me the Elements of Harmony?"
"Certainly."
"Well, that is very good. Since you will supposedly neither betray nor fail me, as Chester and Krastos did respectively, I suppose I'll have to rule with only you by my side. How would you like to have control over one of the most powerful magical locations in the multiverse?"
"It would be excellent. With this power, I can finally take over Dream Valley!"
The Baron scoffed. "Dream Valley? When you control Equestria, you will have no reason for that. Superior magic, superior technology, actual buildings…trust me, in a few years, Dream Valley will be but a memory. Speaking of which, why didn't you win the first time around?"
"They cheated. I thought I had won already, and then that damned rainbow destroyed my physical form."
"But your dark soul lived on?"
"Of course. I have learned much since then."
"Excellent. Now, then, off you go!"
In a black cloud of noxious smoke, Tirek whisked himself off to Canterlot, preparing to destroy the Sisters of the Heavens…
()()()
Ooh, a cliffhanger! Not like I haven't done more than enough of those. Anyway, the new episode came out Saturday, and it was…pretty good. Great message, as usual, pretty funny jokes (the toast alone was hilarious), and it took advantage of the paradigm shift presented last episode. Good thing, I say. A lot of episodes ended up focusing more on Twilight than anyone else, so to have more episodes focusing solely on certain characters is a very good thing.
Also, Luna happened before that. Obviously, my portrayal here is a bit…off from that, as are most of them, but I vision this as taking place quite a bit after that, so she may have had some time to change her way of speech. And of course, they had a British pony, who is awesome automatically because British accents are awesome.
That's enough rambling, this isn't a blog. Until next time, this has been AwkwardVulpix, over and out.
