This was a pretty quick update for me. The words were flowing. I'm sorry in advance. I have a plan, don't worry.
Chapter 11
Nathan had Haley backed up against his hotel room door as soon as they'd entered. Her leg hooked around his waist, her hands working furiously at the buttons on his shirt. His head was spinning slightly. He was kissing Haley. It wasn't one of the dreams that wouldn't stop appearing. It was real. Her lips were on his, and her hands, they were in the process of ridding him of his soaked shirt, and roaming around his skin.
Haley groaned against his mouth, digging her fingernails into his chest softly, tugging him closer to her, kicking off her shoes quickly. She wanted him so badly right now. She wanted to feel that connection with him. Damn, he was a good kisser. It had been too long. And the way his hand was pushing her dress further up her leg, rubbing her chilled skin to warm it up... It was too good to be true. She hooked her arms around his neck, pulling him closer, tangling her fingers in the hair on the back of his head. Haley tilted her head back as he lifted her up higher, kissing down her neck and along her collarbone. "Nathan." She whispered, nudging his face slowly, grabbing his chin and kissing him once again.
Nathan slid his hands around her back, finding the zipper on her dress, waiting for a moment until he felt her nod in approval. He began to unzip her dress at an agonizingly slow pace, smirking slightly when she pushed on his arms softly to hurry him up. It didn't take long for her dress for fall to the ground at her feet. He looked down at her, letting out a deep breath, his eyes grazing over her newly exposed skin. "You're beautiful." He whispered, resting his hands on her waist and pulling her into another kiss.
Haley smiled slightly, pushing his shirt off his shoulders and down his arms until it joined her dress on the ground as well. She slid her hands down his chest slowly, taking a moment to admire the way his muscles felt under her hands. It had been so long, but she still felt like she knew every inch of him so well. Her hands instinctively knew where the jagged scar was on his ribcage after the car accident he'd been after basketball season ended their junior year. Her thumb brushed over it lightly for a moment, before moving further south, beginning to undo his belt buckle.
As soon as his pants and shoes were gone, he lifted Haley up, walking over to the bed and setting her down on it gently, taking another moment to admire her. She was so much better than a model. He hovered over her, kissing down her neck slightly, his hands rested on either side of her, supporting himself up.
Haley slid her arms around his waist, pulling him towards a bit so more of his weight dropped down on her, closing her eyes and tilting her head back. She felt her eyes flutter when Nathan started to kiss down the length of her body, letting out a deep breath. No guy could ever make her feel the way Nathan Scott had. With that thought, her brain suddenly became more alert. Holy shit. Jesse.
Nathan felt her freeze, looking up at her quickly, lifting his head. Dammit. He knew just by the look in her eye what was going through her head. He crawled up the bed slowly, kissing her once more, before falling down next to her, his breathing ragged.
Finally she spoke, tears welled in her eyes. "I have a boyfriend." She said sadly, letting out a deep breath.
"Yeah." Nathan replied, closing his eyes for a brief moment, sitting up slowly.
"I can't do this to him, Nathan. I don't want to- I mean, I clearly want to." She said, gesturing between the two of them. "But I can't." She said softly, shifting onto her side, looking over at him.
He nodded slowly, resting his hand on her waist, brushing his thumb over her skin, staying silent.
"I don't want to be that girl." She whispered to him, grabbing his hand and holding it to her lips.
He looked at her, letting out a deep breath. "I know." He said quietly, shaking his head.
Haley closed her eyes for a second, biting down on her bottom lip. This was hard. Hard for her, and she could tell it was hard for Nathan to hear. But they couldn't do this. Not like this anyways. Jesse would've been with her, if his mother had not been sick. She couldn't live with the guilt of doing this behind his back, while he was at home with his sick mother.
"And there's Jamie to think about." Nathan attempted to make himself feel better, shaking his head and letting out a deep breath.
She rested her hand on the side of his face, looking at him and sighing softly. "I wish things were different." She said, brushing her fingers through his drying hair.
"But they're not." He finished, closing his eyes. "You have a boyfriend. And I could kiss and hold you all night. But you're still going to go home to a boyfriend."
"I care about you so much, Nathan." Haley said softly, kissing his forehead.
"I'm a risk." He said to her, shrugging. "I hurt you, you hurt me. It's just one endless cycle of heartache."
"A risk that I don't know if I can take again, Nate. We have Jamie to think about." She said, standing up slowly. She found her dress off the ground, slowly slipping it back on.
Nathan appeared behind her in seconds, zipping up her dress quickly. "Jamie would be thrilled, Haley." He whispered, wrapping his arms around her, pressing his face into her neck.
"Until we break up." She said, leaning back against him.
"What if we don't break up?" He asked, holding onto her tightly.
"What if we do?" She responded, gripping his forearms softly.
"But what if we don't?"
"But what if we do, Nathan? We could sit here and ask each other these questions all night, but it doesn't matter. Because I'd rather feel the pain than let Jamie feel it." She said, shaking her head.
Nathan stayed silent, dropping a light kiss onto the crook of her neck. "I don't want you to go." He said quietly.
Haley closed her eyes, letting out a deep breath. "I can't stay." She responded, turning around, grabbing his hands.
He let out a deep breath, nodding slowly. "I think it's amazing, that you aren't willing to do this to Jesse."
"I sort of already did." She said, letting out a deep breath. She cupped his cheeks softly, grabbing his face and pulling him down into a light kiss. "I'm sorry, Nathan."
"Me too." He said, nodding at her.
Haley looked up at him, biting her lip softly. "I don't regret it, though." She said to him. "I'm just sorry things couldn't be different."
He smiled slightly, tucking her hair behind her ear. "I'm kind of tired." He said quietly, shrugging his shoulders.
She looked up at him, sighing softly. She didn't want to go. She wanted more than anything to push her thoughts out of her head, and just be with the man in front of her. But her practical side was screaming at her that they'd hurt each other badly, and that she didn't know if they'd last, and that would crush Jamie. Her practical side was telling her that Jesse was amazing, and that she liked him. Unfortunately, that side usually got the best of her. Nathan looked amazing standing in front of her. He was one of a kind. Even with the achey look in his eyes, he was still gorgeous. She wanted to give into her desires, but she couldn't. Fear of being hurt was holding her back, but most importantly fear of her son being hurt.
Haley nodded at him slowly, letting out a deep breath. "I better get out of these wet clothes anyways." She said to him.
"I'll see you tomorrow." Nathan said, pressing a brief kiss to her forehead.
She was thankful he didn't try to convince her to say, because she might have. Maybe he understood to some extent where she was coming from. She had to put Jamie first. He had to put Jamie first.
Nathan watched her go, closing the door and leaning back against it. He pulled some sweats out of his suitcase, heading into the bathroom to take a quick shower.
Not long after, he was laying in his bed, staring at the ceiling. He understood, about Jamie. He really did. That had been one of his fears. Hell, he even understood about wanting to wait until she ended her relationship with Jesse. But from their conversation... It didn't seem like she was going to do that. He could tell, though. How much she wanted him. He could tell the whole entire time that she was having an inner battle. She would come around. He understood, sure. But that didn't mean he was going to give up. He was going to fight for her, unlike he'd done in high school, and unlike he'd done when they broke up. But this time, he wasn't going to let her slip through his fingers.
