here comes some self-indulgent gaillard. i also wanted to note that at this point, this fic has more than thousand views and i'd appreciate any kind of feedback from you guys. thanks
He couldn't help but feel lost after they returned from the moon. Not lost in this world or this city he's so familiar with.
Rather lost in himself. Like Gaillard had nothing to hold onto, nothing to cling to.
When he met his siblings again, they seemed so happy, seemed like it would be all right again. They didn't notice the change or, what he tried to tell himself, didn't want to mention it. They laughed like they always do, they talked and played and were happy, smiling their golden smiles.
It was warm.
Four days after his return, he collapsed in the living room. Blacked out. Only for a minute or two, really, nothing particularly special or bad. He just hadn't eaten too much (a toast and tea for breakfast, as usual, but whatever) and his stomach had felt really bad. It got worse and then it happened, but it's nothing to worry about. His siblings called a doctor anyway.
"It's probably just the exhaustion," the doctor said after listening to his story, which is unspectacular, really. "Probably too much stress," she added after going through her notes again. "Most likely in combination with not eating enough, it lead to your break down." That adult smile. "Nothing to worry about, but I'll run some tests anyway, if you don't mind?"
He shook his head, let her check his pulse and went along with everything else, didn't mind when she gave him another appointment for a blood test and another one for an ECG.
But he still felt weird, felt as if there's nowhere he truly belonged. This life he lived, this life he let go of so easily, it felt odd, felt unreal, because reality was what happened back then with Aichi and Kai Toshiki. Right? Now he couldn't even handle seeing them on TV. It felt wrong, made him realize how far apart they were.
They were doing all right, as if nothing happened.
Gaillard felt like he was about to get crazy.
After all those tests, his doctor called him. She told him he was healthy, said he was okay. His iron reserves were empty, but that was not a big deal. "Just take some tablets and it would be fine," she said. Maybe eat a bit more meat. Or spinach. But it was nothing to worry about.
He didn't worry anyway. But he kept thinking. It's his only distraction besides spending time with his siblings or Vanguard. Things just felt wrong, unreal. He wasn't sure if he could take this any longer.
Neither did he know if he wanted to.
When the letter from Ren arrived, he felt like shouting, like dancing. Like crying. Weird, huh? Man, he's a fool, isn't he?
Making the same stupid decision twice in a row. But it's interesting right?
Now that he's in Japan, that he saw Aichi again yesterday, he thinks he can get better.
"Aichi-kun sure is amazing." Ren doesn't knock before he slams the door open, a huge and cheerful smile on his face. He obviously is the kind of person who can't even spell privacy. Fortunately, Gaillard is already dresses and ready to go out. He turns around to his host, not commenting on his sudden arrival (after all, he knows Ren from Aichi's stories, knows him from before).
"Of cause he is."
"I don't know what I would be doing without him."
"You should show more gratefulness then."
Ren grins and there's a change in his smile. It's more serious and a bit darker in some way. Though before Gaillard can properly think about, Ren talks with a deeper and smoother voice. It's a mesmerizing voice.
"So you're still Aichi-kun's faithful knight?", Ren spits out those last words, disgusted. "I thought even you would change at some point. A bit childish, don't you think."
"Funny to hear you call someone else childish, Suzugamori Ren."
Somehow, without him noticing, Ren's suddenly really close to him. He only realizes their closeness when Ren stretches out one hand to pat his head.
"Be a good boy. I'm not letting you stay here because of sympathy." Turning around, Gaillard can see his grinning refection in one of the mirrors. "Not that I think you'd appreciate that anyway." Ren adds as he heads towards the door.
"Why are you letting me stay at your place then? I just don't get it."
Ren laughs, sweet and cheerful. Like a completely different person. "It's a secret, idiot." He looks at the flowers on the small table next to the door, leans forward to smell them, softly humming a melody Gaillard recognizes, but can't assign its name to. Then, Ren looks back at him again, one of the sweetest smiles Gaillard has ever seen on his face. "How could I show my gratefulness to Aichi-kun better than getting him a cute present?"
