AN: Sorry for the delay in posting this. I know a lot of you have heard my sob story, started nursing school and I'll be damned if they didn't give us tons of work from the get go! No monkey business here! Anyways, I hope it was worth the wait!
MASSIVE thank you to BellaMadonna, beta extraordinaire. For listening to my rants and worries. You're the best!
HUGE Thank you to mcc101180! You took me under your wing and I'm thrilled to have you as a beta, truly honored! Thank you! xoxo
Charmie~ I'm happy you're feeling better. I wish you luck with everything.
Lindsey Harper~ All Over Me
In the space between what's wrong and right,
You will find me waiting for you.
All your fortresses go down in the night.
To the dawn I'll see you through.
'Cause I know, that you know,
You're all over me now.
And it's clear, it will show,
Your curtains will close.
But if your heart is cold, my sheets are warm.
I will shelter you through the storm.
I will shelter you all through the storm.
The answers aren't so easy to find,
The questions will have to do.
'Cause I've lost myself deep in your life,
My only fix is you.
'Cause I know, that you know,
You're all over me now.
And it's clear, it will show,
Your curtains will close.
But if your heart is cold, my sheets are warm.
I will shelter you through the storm.
I will shelter you all through the storm.
Saying what I am, what we are,
It's a start towards the truth.
Taking my breath with each day,
All I can stand in my heart it's you.
In the space between what's wrong and right,
You will find me waiting for you…
APOV
I was pissed. Fuming mad, in fact! I spent the evening expressing my love to her, only to get reamed and have her walk out on me. And where did she fucking go? Edward's no doubt. I was honest with her; it was Jasper that had come to our house. But for her to give me no chance to explain why he was here, that was bullshit.
She walked out the door as I paced around our house, trying to calm myself. But it was no use, the second she walked out, I screamed at the top of my lungs in frustration. I screamed until my throat hurt and my anger turned to tears. We had gone from a loving relationship to being ghosts in our own home. The light in her eyes was gone. It didn't get past me that she didn't allow me to touch her when I bathed her. She clamped her legs shut as I passed the washcloth over her groin. She flinched when I neared her breasts, and her mouth trembled. I don't think she even realized her reaction to me.
As I undressed her, her hands seemed to want to hide herself up from me. Years of caressing and tender love making, and she had never covered up from me. I knew something was going on.
The sobs came in waves. I was finally somewhat calm and waiting for her in the dark of our living room when I heard her pull up. I quickly turned on a lamp and grabbed a book to look like I was reading as I heard her walking to the door. She went straight to the kitchen, doing god knows what. A couple of minutes later, she stood in front of me offering me ice cream.
The talk was short and to the point. The only problem was Jasper chose that very moment to text me, asking me if Bella was home. Then after our brief talk and an even briefer kiss on the cheek, I went to bed and slept alone, for the first time ever while in the house together. I woke in the morning and she had already gone for work. No goodbye, nothing.
I checked my phone to find two missed calls from Jasper and another text message.
Call me. It's important. –Jas
I rolled over and groaned as I rubbed the sleep from my eyes. I brought up his name on my contacts and pressed send.
"Alice," his voice was low and blunt.
"Hi, Jasper," I said lowly and almost in an irritated tone. "You said to call you, and it's important," I sighed into the phone, I felt bad but I wasn't in a good mood right now as was. "What'd you need?"
"I think I saw Bella last night," he said matter-of-factly.
"So?" I said with confusion in my voice.
"So I thought you would want to know—"
"Listen, we had a fight last night and she took off," I cut him off trying to close up this conversation quickly. "She was gone a while, most likely with her friend Edward."
"So you knew she was with a man?"
"Jasper, I'm sorry but I don't know why you feel the need to tell me shit I already know." I was getting short with him. "Her best friend is a man, and after we argued she met up with him."
"That's interesting," his said hesitantly. "They seemed a bit friendlier than best friends would be."
"What do you mean?" I asked, feeling more confused than anything else.
"They were holding hands, and I'm pretty sure I saw them kiss," his voice trailed off.
"Ok, let me get this straight," I said coolly, my hands starting to tremble. "You think you saw my girlfriend last night with a man whom she kissed?" I squeezed my eyes shut in frustration. "And you've seen her picture one time, Jasper. One time," I paused a moment trying to get a handle on my voice, which was getting louder by the second. "How the hell do you expect me to believe you actually saw her?"
"I may have seen her one time in a photograph, Alice," his voice sounding incredibly sincere. "But I have a pretty damn good memory for faces. This. Was. Your. Girl."
"You know what?" I seethed. "You have one reason, and one reason alone to tell me something like this," my anger was rising with every breath. "To break us up. You've wanted in my pants since the moment you saw me. Fuck this Jasper." I slammed my phone shut and threw it across the room not quite hard enough to break it.
I shut my eyes and took deep calming breaths as my heart rate continued to spike. My eyes filled with tears and my head swam with confusion. What the hell was he trying to do? My thoughts of Bella's behavior in recent weeks ran in a stream through my mind. She wouldn't do that to me… would she?
My body groaned in protest as I dragged myself from the bed and into a steaming hot shower. The whole morning I tried in vain to keep my mind from the conversation with Jasper. Something inside me told me to visit her, keep tabs on her behavior. So I went to surprise her for lunch.
I walked up to her desk as she was typing a text message and waited until she was done to announce my arrival.
"Hey baby," I cooed as she set her phone on the desk.
She whipped her head to meet my eyes, surprise etched across her features. "Ali," she said with a forced smile. "What are you doing here?"
"What, a girl can't come take her girlfriend to lunch?" I questioned as I ran a finger down her sleeve.
Her eyes flickered toward her cell phone as it vibrated with a text message. I smiled at her, expecting her to pick it up and check the message. But she didn't. She just kept her eyes on my face, as if expecting me to say something.
"Um, no of course you can," she said quickly. "Just give me a minute, ok?" she mumbled as she motioned to the door, silently asking me to leave. I stepped out of the office and shut the door, but not the whole way. I could hear her whispering into her phone; sadly I didn't make out any words. One thing was clear, however, she was not speaking to a client.
A moment later her door opened and she stepped out, her face flushed and her eyes watery. I narrowed my eyes at her, trying to read into her appearance.
"What?" she said with hesitation.
"Nothing," I lied as I reached for her hand. "Let's go."
We walked to the deli across the street and ate in near silence. This silence shit was getting old – fast! "How was your day today?" I asked trying to prompt a conversation.
"Fine," she said quietly, her eyes drifted to her drink and stayed there. "Angela's wedding is in two weeks, and it's all she can talk about," her eyes drifted back to mine. They were sad though her lips curved into a smile. "She is pretty head over heels for the man."
"Sounds like it," I said as I lifted an eyebrow at the reverent tone on her voice.
The conversation ended there as we stood and walked back to her office. I said goodbye, placing a soft closed mouth kiss on her lips. I mentally noted the tension on her lips as I pressed mine to hers. She smiled softly as she turned into her building, leaving me more confused than ever.
The more she pulled away from me, the more I realized the past few weeks had been less about me and my admission to the kiss, and more to do with something going on inside Bella. How could I have been so blind? Was Jasper telling me the truth?
"Fuck." I breathed to myself as I walked into our house and slammed the door behind me. I threw my keys on the counter and watched as they slid across the marble and onto the floor, clanking loudly against the tiles. Tears pricked my eyes as the last thread of control slipped from my grasp.
My mind whirred in a flurry of thoughts as events from the past few weeks replayed in my mind. Our sex life was non-existent. Any time I would touch her, her body would tense up, even cringe away. She slept on the couch and would pass it off as an accident; that she fell asleep while reading. I tried to not read anything into her constant text messaging, which was out of the norm for her.
The weight of my world crumbling around me was stifling. I was helpless, and didn't know how to fix this. I lay on our bed and fell into a fitful sleep as tears continued to fall down my cheeks, willing away the fear of betrayal that was slowly making its way into my thoughts.
The week passed uneventfully. I did my best to spend as much time with her as I could. She stayed at home in the evenings, not once asking to go to Edward's. I was starting to second-guess myself. She was taking her OPTs again, and was getting closer to ovulating from what she told me.
The weekend came and Bella was packing for her weekend with Edward. It had been so long since I had seen her so happy. And it wasn't because of me, and that broke my heart. Her smile was heavenly, and her cheeks beamed with the slightest pink as she headed to the car to start her weekend away with Edward. A flicker of dread swept through me as I turned to back into the house. Not sure why I did, but I checked the closet and found her sleeping bag still in the closet. Wouldn't she need it for camping? I grabbed it and ran for the door, the bag hanging from my fingers as I waved her down. Her eyes widened with surprise as she lowered her window to take it from me.
I closed the door behind me and stripped down to my camisole and panties before walking into my studio. I grabbed a large chunk of clay and wedged out the bubbles and then smacked it into a ball; not caring about the mess as I slammed the clay on my wheel and worked it into a large vase the size of my arm. I worked it up so high I couldn't reach the bottom. Once satisfied with the piece, I laughed at myself after seeing how covered in clay I was.
I went into the bathroom and started the shower as I stripped myself of my undergarments. I realized we had no soap in the shower, or in the hall closet. I checked under the sink, just in case a bar of soap made it there, but was shocked by what I found: A brand new, unopened package of OPTs. Bella wasn't using them. She had lied to me.
My heart raced as tears pricked my eyes before breaching my eyelids and falling down my cheeks. I stared at the unopened package for so long the steam filled the room causing my sweat to mix with my tears. Angry tears mixed with the sad ones as I stepped into the shower and roughly soaped my body, in an attempt to wash away the betrayal I felt surround my body.
After the shower, I stepped into a pair of grey sweatpants and a wife beater before turning on the computer. My hands trembled as I clicked the mouse, doing exactly what I knew I shouldn't be doing. I opened Bella's email and scoured it for messages from Edward. Nothing. Not a single message from Edward. Just as I led the pointer to the close button, I swept my eyes over her inbox one more time, and my eyes met an out of the ordinary name. Girly Girl. I clicked on the message and read through it.
From: Girly Girl
To: Bella Swan
Subject: Hi
Can you still feel me?
E
I read the words over and over again. The words meant nothing, but everything at the same time. My mouth went dry and my throat began to swell the more times I read it. I had enough proof in my mind for a confrontation.
I lay in bed but sleep never claimed me, cursed to a night of tossing and turning instead. My stomach grumbled with hunger, but the anxiety I felt overshadowed any need for food. The light of dawn awoke me from what little sleep I had managed to acquire, my head pounded and my throat showed no mercy as it ached from the sobbing that continued in my sleep.
I resisted the urge to call Jasper, not wanting to add to the fight that I knew was brewing. I wanted to discuss things with her while I had a clear conscience. I didn't want to have anything that would give her reason to question me, and throw my accusations back in my face.
She was my heart, my soul, my everything. Was I a mistake to her? If I was right in what my heart was telling me, where did that leave me… us? These weren't the only thoughts running through my head. I was afraid of being right, but most of all… I was terrified of being broken.
***
BPOV
My heart was pained as I packed up our suitcases. The weekend was too perfect and peaceful. We were the couple we should have always been while we were here. The words Edward had expressed to me melted my insides and sprung the incessant urge to right my wrong.
I watched him as he zipped up his bag and flung it over his shoulder before walking over to me, a subdued smile gracing his perfect face. I breathed in deep as the tears welled in my eyes and quickly streaked down my face.
"You better finish packing," he said softly as his swept his finger along my cheek, taking a tear with him. "Alice will be expecting you."
My body stiffened to the words, no matter how much my mind knew they were true. "I know," I whispered, closing my eyes and pressed my cheek into his hand. "I don't want to leave."
He set down his bag and wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me into a tight hug. "I don't either," he whispered into my hair. "I would stay here with you forever if I could." He pulled back and smiled as he tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. His voice was smooth and calm, though his eyes were gleaming with moisture. "But I do have to work tomorrow."
"Me too," I breathed and snuggled my face in his chest.
He loosened his hold on me and looked me in the eyes. "We'll come back, Bella. I promise." He tapped the end of my nose lightly with his index finger, eliciting a smile from me in return. "I'm pretty certain after last night, that bed will be writing us thank you letters and begging us to come back."
I bit my lip as I remembered our lovemaking from the night before. A stifled moan left my throat as the very thought caused my panties to dampen. His lips curled into a knowing smirk as he reached for his bag and turned toward the door. My mind quickly stopped me from asking for a quickie before we left; there was never anything quick about it when Edward and I had made love.
I breathed in deep, zipped up my bag and followed him to the car. The smile on his face was precious as I tossed my bag in the trunk and twirled around to wrap my arms around his waist. I stood on the tip of my toes and pressed a kiss to his lips.
"Ever heard of road head?" I cooed with a raised eyebrow and an evil grin. I may have lived the last several years as a lesbian, but I was not behind on my sexual terms.
"Indeed," he laughed against my lips before turning to open my door for me, allowing me to get inside.
The drive was calm and quiet; we didn't exchange many words, just loving glances and sideways grins. I kept my hand on his thigh and drew circles with my thumb. Halfway through the drive, I felt compelled to do something to top off the already perfect weekend; to give him another first.
My hand inched up higher on his thigh, slowly making its way to the zipper on his pants. He cleared his throat in an attempt to calm his breathing and gave me a warning stare, but never stopped me. With the button of his pants undone, I slowly pulled the zipper down, his cock responding instantly to the contact.
"Bella—," he breathed with a slight tremble to his voice. Placing a finger on his lips to cut off his speech, I reached inside his pants and into his boxers to wrap my fingers around his rock-hard erection. He adjusted his posture to help me pull his cock from his boxers. I pumped him with my hand, eliciting hisses from his clenched teeth.
"Keep your eyes on the road, baby," I cooed as I dipped my head down and licked just the tip, savoring the taste of his essence that was pooling there.
"Fuck," he hissed while his hands gripped the steering wheel tighter causing his knuckles to whiten.
I smiled against the head of his cock, and opened my mouth to slide it deep inside. Gently I sucked as my tongue swirled along the shaft as I bobbed my head up and down. Reaching down to tenderly caress his balls, I slightly grazed my teeth along the underside of his shaft. His moans egged me on as I hastened my pace and increased the suction on him.
"Oh, god, Bella," he groaned and then sucked in a breath through clenched teeth. "Wrap your free hand around the base," he directed with a shaky voice I immediately complied to his command. "Fuck, yeah, just like that."
My hand pumped along his shaft following the direction of my mouth, while my other hand still fondling his balls. His breathing hitched as his cock hardened even more.
"Fuck Bella, I'm going to cum," he breathed as his throat let out noises of approval.
I sped up my pace and readied myself to swallow what he gave me. He gasped as he exploded in my mouth as I swallowed every drop. I released him with a "pop" and smiled as I looked at the desire in his eyes. I looked around and realized we were pulling up to his driveway. He put the car into park and sat for a moment collecting himself before he could get out.
A tapping on my window brought me from my thoughts. Startled, I whipped my head around to see where the noise had come from. Standing at my window was Alice. Her eyes burned with anger as they drifted from mine down to Edward's lap, where his recently sucked cock still hung out in all its glory. I glanced briefly into Edward's startled eyes before turning back to face Alice.
Oh, damn! The shit was about to hit the fan!
AN: Next chapter is in the works. Trust me, you won't want to miss that one. It'll be a good one, as I'm sure you can imagine!
Reviews for a teaser, even if it takes a few days to get it to you, I always do! Plus, if you don't tell me what you like or don't like I can't make it better for you :)
I forgot to mention All I Need, EPOV of this story, is on hiatus until this story is complete. Sorry loves, but I have to keep my sanity. He will say his piece, I assure you that ok? xoxo
Visit my Thread on twilighted for additional teasers than the ones I send out. Link is in my profile.
