Chapter 11
As she threaded through the bodies gyrating around the dance floor, Sookie's heart thumped wildly and her chest felt so constricted she could hardly breathe. Eric was lying! Bill wouldn't do that to her, he loved her! He'd told her so many times and she believed him. Sookie refused to believe a word that came out from Eric's mouth, but she couldn't help but old insecurities assaulted her thoughts. The music pulsing all around her only added to her frustration as she tried to locate Tara. When she finally found Tara, Sookie dragged her out of the club.
"What the hell, Sook?" Tara protested loudly as they reached the parking lot. Sookie looked around frantically, trying to remember where they parked. When she spotted her yellow car, she dragged Tara toward the car.
"We are leaving!" Sookie left Tara standing beside the passenger car and went around to the driver's side.
"What happened? I thought we're having fun?" Tara still tried to make sense of what's going on. In the background, they could still hear the music blaring from inside the building.
"Just get into the damn car, Tara!" Sookie yelled at her. A very confused Tara got into the passenger car without further protest. Sookie started the car and drove away from the club as fast as she could.
"Slow down, Sook!" Tara tried to get through Sookie's agitation but Sookie didn't seem to listen to her. "Sookie, stop! JUST stop!" Tara shrieked. Sookie finally slowed down and pulled over. Tara turned to her and exclaimed, "Have you lost your ever-loving mind? Are you trying to kill us?"
Tara's yelling seemed to snap Sookie back. Sookie turned to Tara and found her friend glaring at her.
"I'm… I'm sorry. It's just…" Sookie tried to explain, but found herself unable to do so. Her mind was filled with so many thoughts. She closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths. She told herself to calm down. This was exactly what Eric wanted. He wanted her to lose control and Sookie was determined not to. She was failing miserably.
"Eric was there." Sookie said quietly. Tara's eyes widened in shock.
"What's that son of a bitch doing there? Is he stalking you now?" Tara yanked the rearview mirror to check if there was anyone coming up behind them.
"No, Tara. He's not stalking me…" Sookie paused. "At least I hope he's not." She finished weakly.
"But he was there? What did he want?" Tara looked at Sookie questioningly her annoyance with her friend's erratic behavior was turning to concern.
Sookie stayed silent. She couldn't tell Tara about what Eric told her. Her thoughts were so scattered the first words she spoke made no sense at all.
"He scared the hell out of Martin." Sookie finally told Tara.
"Who's Martin?" Tara asked with puzzled look on her face.
"The guy who bought me a drink earlier." Sookie explained.
"Oh… And?" Tara prompted.
"What?" It's Sookie's turn to look at Tara blankly.
"What else did he do? You wouldn't be this upset if all he did was scaring some random guy." Tara stated. Sookie stared at her in surprise. "Don't give me that look. I know you better than that, Sook. What else did he do?" Tara pushed, not about to back off.
Sookie sighed. "It's not exactly what he did. It's more about what he said." Sookie said slowly, hoping that Tara would leave it at that.
"Well? What did he say then?" Tara pressed on.
Sookie knew from the tone of Tara's voice this conversation was far from over. Sookie peered unseeing into the darkness. Tara sat there, waiting patiently. She knew that if that vampire made Sook this upset, then it must be something important.
"He said something about Bill." Sookie mumbled. She kept staring ahead of her, refusing to look at Tara.
"Bill? What does Bill have to do with this? I thought it's over between you two." Tara was getting seriously confused.
"It is. It's just… I think… I think I still love him, Tara." Sookie turned her face to look at her best friend. Tara was stunned.
"Wait… I don't understand. You still love Bill, but you went with Eric?" Tara finally asked after a moment of silence.
"I was so angry with Bill. He lied to me." Sookie's reasoned.
"So, you decided to take revenge on him by hooking up with Eric?" Tara said directly.
"No! I didn't mean to. It was the blood bond." Sookie tried to explain. Tara sighed heavily.
"C'mon Sook, tell the truth, do you love Eric or not?" Tara suddenly asked. Sookie was speechless for a moment.
Did she love Eric? That was a question that she's been asking herself. Her feelings toward Eric were so complicated. She knew she was attracted to him, but was it love? Or just physical? Whenever Sookie thought about him, she felt conflicted. On one hand, she was angry and so damn tired of Eric's constant lies and manipulation, but on the other hand, the time they'd spent together during those few days… Granted, she was heartbroken and fragile and he was under a spell, but was it real? Sookie bit her lip. That was the problem; she just didn't know what, if anything was real or not.
"I… I don't know. It's complicated, Tara." Sookie finally said, dropping her gaze.
"No, it's not. It's only as complicated as you make it. Sookie, I care about you. You know I do, girl. But this has to stop. Eric tricked you so many times, and yet, you still forgive him. I don't know what what lies Bill told you, but…" Tara stopped herself. "I never thought that I would say this, but Bill loves you. That vamp walked under the sun in the broad daylight to save you! If that's not love, I don't know what that is." Tara paused to take a breath. "I'm not trying to justify his actions. If he lied to you, then you have every right to be angry with him. But if you could forgive Eric for his lies over and over again, why can't you forgive Bill?" Tara looked at Sookie. Sookie looked back at her with awe.
"What?" Tara asked.
"Nothing… I just never thought that you'd say that, ever. I thought you hated Bill!" Sookie couldn't believe what Tara had just said.
"I don't hate him particularly. I hate them in general." Tara muttered. "Anyway, it's not about me. It's about you and your 'complicated' love life." Tara put an emphasis on the word 'complicated'. Despite herself, Sookie giggled, Tara joined her and they laughed themselves to tears.
"So, what did he say?" Tara asked Sookie once they sobered up.
"What? Wait. Who?" Sookie asked confusedly.
"Eric. You said he said something about Bill. What did he say?" Tara asked her seriously.
Sookie's smile disappeared. She took a deep breath before answering.
"He told me that Bill has a new girlfriend." Now that the words came out from her mouth, it felt real. "He said that Bill doesn't care about me." Even if she said it, she still refused to believe it.
"And you believed him?" Tara asked her incredulously.
"He knows about her, Tara. He knows her name. He's not bluffing. He wouldn't just pick up any random name, right? Besides, he even knows when they met. I don't want to believe him, I really don't. But if he knew that much about her, then it must be true." Sookie said bitterly.
Tara was getting a headache. "Okay, Eric lied to you about a lot of things, right? He could be lying to you about this too! Sookie, why don't you ask Bill? Then you'll know for sure." Tara suggested gently.
"No! I can't… I can't ask him." Sookie sounded alarmed.
"Why not? I thought you said you loved him?" Tara was bewildered.
"It's…" Sookie started, but Tara finished for her.
"Complicated, I know. But how long are you going to do this, Sook? You can't keep doing this forever." Tara got infuriated.
"I know. I just need time, Tara. I'll figure it out. Now, can we please stop talking about this? It's getting very late. We need to go home." Sookie said tiredly.
"Okay, but I'm just saying, Sook. If I learned anything in the past year, it's that we shouldn't take anything for granted. We never know how much time we have. We have to treasure every moment that we have with those whom we loved the most… before it's too late and they're being taken away from us." Tara said solemnly.
Sookie looked at her and patted her hand comfortingly. She knew who Tara was thinking about when she said that. Sookie started the engine and drove back to Bon Temps. Sookie was determined to end her emotional turmoil soon. Tara was right; she couldn't stay like this much longer.
