Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. If I did, Jiraiya would magically appear to help kick some ass in the Battle of Konoha.
Summary Notes: I know I'm taking forever to update, but though I have ideas, my brain is normally pickled to death by senior year. That, and I have all these other non-related Whispers ideas to get down too. But here's some odd humour for you.
Inspiration: My Ancient History class. No, seriously, don't ask. You don't want to know. All you need to know is that much of what we get up to reminds me of what Jiraiya and Tsunade might have gotten up to in their younger days (apart from the flirt-factor, I just added that because I like playing with the whole MST (mondo-load of sexual tension) between them.
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Undercover missions were a bitch, in Tsunade's experience (all twenty one years of it, mind you). On one hand, you had the danger factor of being…well…uncovered. On the other hand, you had the stress of preparing for it - working with your partner until you were a unit of do-no-wrong perfection. And, to add to that, there was the stress of creating a believable identity to hide behind.
Not that that teamwork part was a problem. Though it killed Tsunade's pride to admit it, she could not ask for a better partner in Jiraiya. Friends since their academy days, team mates through their genin days - no one could predict Tsunade's thoughts and moves and sync themselves better to her than Jiraiya could. Orochimaru probably could if he tried, but said so called genius was currently tied up - quite literally - in hospital. His fault; he shouldn't have told his little student brat to pretend he was some rapist on the sly and attack him with her kunai (on the flipside, they now knew to watch out for Anko's bloodthirsty tendencies in the future). Still, having Jiraiya around wasn't so bad. Even when they bickered, she always knew he'd back her up later on. Besides, he had a way of making stressful jobs fun.
Like creating a name for their undercover mission.
"How about Orgasma Shichi?"
Tsunade swiped at her fellow jounin, though she was pulled up short due to her position on the floor. She settled for glaring at him from where he now lounged against the low table of the Hokage's guest room (one of many, but Jiraiya seemed fond of this one for some reason unknown to her), even as her lips twitched in suppressed amusement.
"Shut up and be serious, pervert. Or I'll leave you and go ask Orochimaru for help instead."
"You wouldn't dare leave me for Oro-uke. You need my awesome macho-ness of awesomeness."
"Your what? Wait, don't bother repeating it. And I'm going to tell Orochimaru you said that."
"Pfft, like he'd care. I call him that all the time." Jiraiya shrugged and grinned. "You're just never around when I do."
Tsunade snorted and tapped the paper in front of her pointedly. "Ideas, baka. Preferably of a non-sexual nature."
"We've been at this for hours, Tsu-chan," Jiraiya whined, giving her his infamous kicked puppy expression. She was unmoved though, and he sighed before crawling over and sitting cross-legged beside her, his hand straying towards the dip of her back. Tsunade slapped half-heartedly at the calloused fingers tickling her skin, and Jiraiya pouted before looking over her shoulder at the paper she'd been scribbling on.
"So what have we got?" he asked, eyeing the list she had come up with. There wasn't many, to be honest: Maruyama Naomi, Imai Kuro, Dobashi Atsuko…to name a few. Jiraiya regarded the list for long moments.
"Why don't we try mixing names? Like…Maruyama Sakura?"
"Ugh, too flowery. Hm…Imai Yoshi?"
Jiraiya wrinkled his nose in distaste. "Sounds like a monk's name. How about…" he smirked, "Dobashi Koharu?"
"What? I refuse to share the same name as that hag, under any circumstances." Tsunade sniffed, tossing her head haughtily. Jiraiya smiled, pleased with the reaction. Unfortunately, Tsunade caught it, and proceeded to splutter.
"Ji-Jiraiya, that's not-" Tsunade broke off then, before she smirked in a manner he was wary of, with good reason. "How about Jiji?"
"Oh ha, fuuunny."
Tsunade grinned smugly as he scowled. "Oh lighten up, Jiji-kun." She petted him on the head in mock comfort before glancing back at the paper. Sighing, Tsunade shook her head.
"You know, now I think I know why my grandfathers stopped talking to each other," she said.
Jiraiya gave her a curious look, and she shrugged.
"This whole name thing. I remember my mother telling me that I was named Tsunade by her father, Shodai to you. Apparently though, my father's father wanted to call me Suki, for some odd, unknown reason."
Jiraiya sputtered with laughter. "Suki?"
"Yeah, shut up, I know it's bad."
"Sounds like a pet name someone would come up with during sex."
Tsunade laughed, pushing him lightly. "As if. Only you'd turn it into something perverted, Baka."
"And you're thinking of it in exactly the same context as of now, Hime."
"Am not!"
"Are too. You can't help but think of it because I mentioned it. If it makes you feel any better though…" Tsunade muffled a squeak when she heard; or rather felt the closeness of his voice in her ear, "I'd just call you hime."
Her cheeks warmed, but Tsunade hid the effect he'd had in catching her off her guard by laughing wryly and shoving Jiraiya away so that he skidded a few inches to the side. Rolling onto his back, Jiraiya tilted his head up to give her an upside down grin of both lechery and mischief, causing Tsunade to snort. Rolling her eyes, she rose to a kneeling position, tugging the strands of silver hair roughly over his eyes when he pouted at the sudden loss of view - or more precisely, the glimpse of cleavage he'd been provided with from his new position. Another snort and Tsunade stood, holding a hand out for him.
"We're not getting anywhere with this. I say we leave it and come back later."
"My, my, this is a first. The great Tsunade-hime shirking her duties?"
"Oh ha ha. Fuuunny."
"I thought so. You up for grabbing some dinner and sake, Suki-chan?"
"Only if Jiji-kun's paying."
