The Road is a Minfield
Chapter 10
Acting lessons
In the few weeks that followed, things got a little better. Questions I had wondered about were answered, vaguely if not directly, and I learned to come to terms with them. There was no longer a sense of wonder and fear around my mom; I knew she was gone and, even though dad didn't tell my why she passed away, it was just reassuring to know that she was in a better place and not living out my horrible nightmares.
I didn't feel that way at first; denial was the first thing I'd turned to. I had wondered how it was remotely possible for me to forget something so… important. But the doctor – who I'd had to apologize to properly – said that it was because it was a painful memory and my mind might just be suppressing it. From there I forced myself to accept it; she was gone and moping around for weeks wouldn't bring her back. I was still touchy about the subject, though, and I was sure I would always be.
I started spending more time with the guys down by first beach and at Emily's house. And almost every time I was with them, I'd get a little flashback. But they were never developed enough to let me remember; always a picture of something or a small scene that played out in my head, sometimes silent and sometimes not. I saw Leah telling me that she and the girls were going to bake cookies, but nothing more from that; hearing Paul's voice and smiling, then it fades away; standing next to him holding his hand, while dad took pictures, just an image.
There didn't seem to be any orderand I didn't know enough to put them in a time line; all it left me with was knowing that I had been close to them at one point.
There was a note for me when I woke up. It was from my dad – I could tell by his scribble.
Had to leave early this morning. I got called in to work today.
I left you some money on the table, in case you want to do something. If you don't need it, I want you to take it with you anyway. You never know when it'll come in handy.
And if you're going out, be careful and say hello to your friends for me.
I love you,
Dad.
Smiling, I folded the note back up and left it on the table, pocketing the money he'd left. Dad was so in tune with my routine that he knew I'd be heading out to see them first thing when I woke up. Despite the amnesia – that the doctor said would either fade on its own or stay forever – I continued to live normally, as much as I could, every day. It didn't bother me much that I didn't know the little things, because I knew the overall picture and that was all that mattered.
Breakfast was simple; bacon and eggs. After eating and getting dressed, I was running down the familiar street to Emily's house, smiling like an idiot, where I knew everyone would most likely be. When I got there, it looked like they had just gotten there too; they were all shirtless – like they usually were – and talking loudly, pushing each other around jokingly. It never failed to surprise me how afraid I was that they would hurt each other.
"Paul," I screamed, running up to him and jumping on his back, wrapping my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist.
He laughed, "Good morning to you too, Nikki."
I'd greeted them all similarly many times before, but Paul more than the rest of them had been tackled by me.
I moved my head, leaning over his shoulder to see his face. "Yes, it is!"
Being around the guys made me hyper. "Jake! Embry! Seth!" I jumped off Paul's back and ran to give them each an equally tight hug. My ecstatic greeting sent them into a fit of laughter as they walked into Emily's house.
"So what are we doing today?"
I didn't question the lack of the others as we followed the scent of Emily's cooking into the kitchen. They were probably out patrolling like they did every day. Shifts alternated; day and night, but there were almost always a few of the guys missing.
"Besides devouring my food?" Emily asked, smiling.
She was joking, of course. Well, maybe only half joking; the guys tended to savagely eat through everything she made – and she made a lot – so quickly, it was ridiculous… and a little gross to watch.
"Hey! We're growing boys," Embry argued.
They all nodded in agreement. Jake and Seth leaned against the counter, reaching their hands forward and trying to steal a few pieces of bacon, only to get smacked by Emily's cooking spoon. Embry rolled his eyes, but I could tell he wanted a few pieces himself. He just wasn't stupid enough to try and get past Emily. Paul was standing behind me, his hands folded across his chest and a ghost of a smile on his lips.
"I swear if you boys grow any more, you're going to break through the roof!" I couldn't help but say it. They were tall as it was, any taller and I'd be a midget. Not that I already wasn't.
"We can't all be a bunch of dwarfs." Jake laughed.
Embry and Seth joined in too. Paul stayed silent.
I stuck my tongue out. A lame retaliation, but I didn't know what else I was going to say. A dwarf… yeah, I was short.
"Emily," I asked, an idea popping into my head. "Can I have a piece of bacon? It smells delicious."
"Of course. Go right ahead."
The guys' fixed a glare on me as I reached forward and picked up a piece. Taking my sweet time I brought it closer, taking a deep breath and inhaling the wonderful scents it produced. Although I had eaten, my mouth was watering. Opening my mouth, I took a small bite, closing my mouth slowly and acting as if I were savoring every bite.
"Mmm," I exclaimed, "This is amazing!"
A few mumbled groans came from my left; I smiled. Victory. And I wasn't even done. Still with the piece of bacon in my hand, I turned around to face Paul.
"Hey, Paul."
There was a mischievous look in my eyes; I could tell by the way Paul's face contorted when I looked at him. He was probably wondering what I was about to do. Closing the distance between him and myself, I rested my hand on his chest.
"H-hey, Nikki," he stuttered and I thought I heard one of the guys saying he was whipped.
"Do you want some?"
Holding up the bacon in front ofhis lips, I trailed my left hand in small circles on his chest. He gulped, a nervous look coming on to his face; clearly the way I was acting was working. Not that it was a complete act. I liked Paul. He was just so… there were no words to even describe him. It felt like he was my everything; my air, my sun, my world.
I'd known Paul for maybe a month, in total, but time didn't mean anything to me. Nothing did, besides him. Nobody knew – at least, I didn't tell anyone – that I liked him, but I've been catching Emily and Kim dropping me hints every now and then. The other day Kim had come over to my house and she just so happened to bring up the outfit she'd bought me into the conversation. She wanted to know if there was any place I was going to wear it to, and if I was going with anyone.
I told her no and she let it drop, but she and Emily would still bring up other things. Did I like anyone? What did I think of Paul? Did I want a boyfriend? Questions like that and ones that were similar, I'd been asked them all.
Some of the guys would drop hints too. It felt like they knew I liked him. Maybe they did?
"Sure," Paul managed to get out, sounding strained.
I smiled mischievously, bringing the bacon into his mouth. Paul's body tensed under my hand as he closed his mouth and slowly chewed the small piece. After he swallowed, he looked down at me cautiously. There was a look in his eyes; one that wasn't familiar to me. It was… different from anything I'd ever seen in him. It was like he was struggling to hold back, to keep himself from doing something he really wanted to do.
"You okay, Paul?" I asked, leaning in closer to him and whispering, so the others wouldn't hear.
"F-fine." He was stuttering again.
Snickers came from behind me. I paid them no mind.
My hand still rested on his chest, while the other I held out in front of me, close to his chin. "Are you sure? You look like you're struggling or something."
More sniggers.
"Yeah," Paul said, finally regaining his composure. Then, a look of sadness filled his eyes.
I was confused, to say the least. What was wrong? What was running through his mind? I wondered if he was upset because of what I had done, but would that have made him sad? Maybe he was offended that I decided to try and seduce him for pay back against the others. But surely he wouldn't mind. It wasn't like he liked me or anything. So why did he seem like he had a problem with it?
Backing up a little, I said quietly, "Oh, okay. If you say so."
"That was cruel, shrimp."
I stuck my tongue out at Jake like I had done earlier. "I have no idea what you're talking about. I was just offering Paul some bacon."
"You know, Nikki," Emily said, placing the last of the food on the table and backing away. "That was very convincing."
The guys laughed, all but Paul, who watched me intently. He was hanging on so closely, waiting to hear what I was about to say.
"Uh, yeah," I said, blushing.
Dang it, Emily!
She was throwing her 'subtle' hints around again. Good thing Kim wasn't there to help.
"I'm really good at acting."
"Have you ever acted out a date?"
I turned around to face Paul. He wasn't joking like I'd expected. He looked serious, but he was wearing a smirk – one that made me want to melt – and I felt my knees almost giving way.
"No," I said softly, aware that all eyes were on us. "But there's a first for everything."
He smiled.
I smiled.
Did he just… Did I just…?
Hey there, everyone!
I'm finally back, and yes, I know it's been ages since I posted a chapter. And I didn't even get to write as often as I wanted to - vacation does that to you, I swear, you get ADD. But don't worry, I'm struggling to do all my homework at school so I can write more chapters!! :D So this one wasn't super long, but I liked it. I hope you did too?!
And, thank you to Spinkle22, my lovely beta for doing a great job.
And there wasn't any French in this chapter! I know! I miss it, a little. It'll come back in the next chapter. On their date.
Speaking of, where do you think they're going?!
