AN: Sorry for the wait - I've had to put my fanfiction writing to the side for a while due to the hols being almost over - AND COURSEWORK BEING DUE IT!!! *Sobs quietly in a corner*
The world is cruel hiding my drafts from me and not letting them find them - so I decieded to give up finding them for a day so that I could update this story for you all.
Also, If you want me to update any of my other staories, feel free to ask becasue I will if anyone wants me to ^_^ You just have to ask!
Thank you to my 83 reviewers, 10 fave adds, 20 story alerts and 1 community mention that I have recieved so far - I hope that you continue to stick with this story - I'm really enjoying writing it and I hope you are all enjoying reading it. Any thoughts on what you think will happen are also appreciated - I like reading about what other people will think will happen! ^_^
So enjoy, read and review...
... Kaytii ^_^
Maybe life didn't always have to be so bad…
… Or maybe this was just the eye in the middle of the storm… The calm part before the onslaught continued…
Either way I was content with my life at the moment. The 'ups' seemed to be balancing out the 'downs'… even if it was barely…
***
We spent the whole day out of school, just hanging around, acting like any normal human rather than… well cursed people. Even though we did nothing of real significance, it didn't mean that I didn't remember every detail – I did remember it all and it was a perfect day… it made me forget all my worries and even that thing hidden under my school uniform… something which I didn't think I would be able to do, truth be told.
"Shall we go to Sensei's then Yuki?" Haru asked as the day drew to a close. "Tohru-kun will be worried by now won't she?"
"Yeah…" I replied, not really paying much attention to what he was saying. "What time is it?"
"It's eight o'clock Yuki…" He said in that ridiculously calm voice of his as he watched my eyes flutter open in panic. Ten Hours… I had been 'missing' for ten hours, if you counted the time from when I had left school…
Haru might be able to bluff through it all, but I was meant to be on time – it was what was expected of me!
"I need to get back now Haru…" I replied uncertainly, wanting to just get up and run home – if it weren't rude to do so.
"I'll come with you… I'm hungry anyway and mum is away tonight…"
Him just saying that made me remember the first time we ate together… the first time he had found me in that room, and he had brought me water and food… it was the first time I had ever had decent company in that room… and while he was there… I wasn't scared…
***
I had been in the room for thirteen hours now… and I didn't even know what I had done wrong! All I had said was that I wanted to go outside… what was wrong about that? We went outside all the time together – so why couldn't I go alone?
But I should have known not to do anything that would displease him – shouldn't I?
So I sat in the darkness obediently, waiting for him to return and let me out into the light for a while…
… But when the door opened it wasn't Akito that came in and sat by me – it wasn't even one of his servants…
… It was the boy from the dojo – Hatsuharu.
"What are you doing in the dark Yuki?" He asked, leaning against the wall comfortably. "It took me ages to find you today…"
How could the boy be so unaffected by this room? Was all the fear of it in my mind…?
"I… I was disobedient… Akito-sama ordered me to stay here and not see anyone…" I muttered, glad for once of the darkness to cover the embarrassment and shame that was spreading across my face. Explaining my situation to someone else, even someone like the boy next to me was… shameful for me… I felt ashamed of where I was in life, even though I was only ten…
"Oh…" He muttered, looking away for a moment before abruptly changing the subject. "Do you want some chocolate?"
"Chocolate…?" I echoed, squinting to see what he was holding. "O-okay…"
I took the piece of half-melting chocolate from him and let myself eat it slowly, letting the rich taste fill me.
"Thank you…" I whispered, deathly afraid that Akito would be able to hear me if I spoke any louder.
"I'll be back soon…" He spoke in his toneless voice as he got up and slid out of the door…
But there was no 'click'… had the door been unlocked all this time…? Had there been a chance for me to escape all this time…?
But I didn't let myself dwell on those facts as I finished off the chocolate and tried to get to sleep, knowing it wasn't worth it.
***
"You're spacing out again…" Haru told me as we arrived at Shigure's house, where I could see a worried Honda-san cooking dinner, looking out of the window every few minutes, but not seeing us.
But that wasn't all I saw…
… Right in front of the house was a posh black car with the Sohma family crest on it – Hatori's car.
"Looks like mom was worried after all then…" Haru said to himself, but I knew instantly that Hatori wasn't there for Haru…
… He was there to check up on me…
… Because I hadn't been where I was meant to be all day.
He was sitting at the table when we walked in, his face impassive as we came sheepishly through the door.
"Where have you been?" He asked the two of us, but I knew it was me whom the question was really aimed at.
"I…" I really didn't know what to say – what excuse would be good enough for Akito anyway?
"We were just hanging around." Hatsuharu came to the rescue without even realising it, still thinking that it was he in trouble. "I'll call mum and tell her I'm fine, okay?"
"Right…" Hatori said strangely before turning to me. "Yuki, you missed your check up today."
"I had a check-up today…?" I asked, wondering what on earth he was playing at. I wasn't due for another check-up for another week…
"Yes." He replied curtly, turning away and walking out the door. "Follow me Yuki; it's best to sort these things out while I'm here… before Shigure gets back…"
"Back from where Hatori…?" I asked, having a sinking feeling I knew where he was…
… Or rather who he was with…
"He is at the main house… although he doesn't know exactly what happened between you and Akito, he had been told to make sure you… behaved, apparently…" The tone of hatred in his voice shocked me almost as much as the way he had punched the wall in front of him – the wall in Shigure's office.
"I'm sorry for causing you this trouble…" I muttered, the sense of worthlessness washing over me now.
"Yuki…" Hatori lifted my face and looked into my eyes. "… You need to start understanding that this is not your fault – if you want to place the blame then put it upon Akito – because it is his fault, and his fault only."
"We are not allowed to hate him or to place the blame upon him Hatori…" I replied in a monotone, replaying what I had been told so many times by Akito himself. "It isn't allowed."
At this Hatori remained silent, looking solidly out of the window.
"He can't control our thoughts Yuki, no matter how much he believes he can…" Hatori said so quietly I almost didn't hear him, but before I could act upon his words he had pulled out a stethoscope from his pocket and began to feel my heartbeat with it. "Breathe in… Breathe out… Breathe in…"
The steady routine of the check-up calmed me down, and by the time it was over I could feel myself actually lowering my guard down enough to let myself feel sleepy in his presence.
"Yuki, I'll make sure Akito knows that you weren't disobeying him… I can't promise to be able to smooth over the damage Shigure may have caused, but I'll do my best… okay?" He didn't look at me as he spoke, he just packed up his stuff and walked to the door, Haru following calmly behind, giving me a little smile.
"Thank you Hatori…" I called gently, not wanting anyone but him to hear me.
"It's okay Yuki…" He replied curtly, opening the car door. "Just remember to arrive on time for your appointment next week… we don't want a repeat performance…"
And by 'we' he meant 'Akito'.
"I'll be there Hatori." I replied, closing the house door and walking up to my room…
… But I was stopped by Kyo.
A Kyo with a black eye from where I'd kicked him.
"So you're finally back then?" He snarled, blocking the entrance to my room.
"Move out of the way you stupid cat." I said simply, letting my mask fill my face, making it seem as if I didn't care – when truly I cared about it all – and hated myself for it.
"Not until you say sorry – and I'll make you say it!" He smirked, and I was just tired – I wanted to turn around, but something about him made me want to stand up for myself – so I did.
"I'm sorry." I had apologised too much in my life for it to mean anything anymore – how could I be sorry for something when I didn't even know what I'd done?
And so I knew it would infuriate him even more.
"DAMN YOU! Do you have no shame?!?"
It was the same argument that he always used, and normally I would have cut in with something perfect for the situation… but this time I stopped to think about what he said to me.
… Did I really have no shame, to just go around wearing a mask like I did…?
So when I answered, I spoke the truth to him for the first time in my life – and the last time if I had anything to do with the decision.
"No, you baka neko, I don't suppose I do…" I told him straight as I slid past his guard and into my room, slamming the door on him, causing him to swear and leave his pursuit.
I went to my bed and lay down, wanting to sleep and forget everything – and everyone.
*beep… beep…*
I heard my phone ringing and flipped it open, to see I had a message.
"YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD HIDE?
YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD GET AWAY WITH WHAT YOU DID?
NO ONE BELIEVES THAT YOU'LL GET AWAY FROM IT ALL…
CERTAINLY NOT –
-- ME!"
I just stared at the text for a few moments, before looking at the number that sent the text…
Number withheld.
Oh how I hated the bitterness of life sometimes…
I sat there for the rest of the night, staring at the phone, and wondering who wanted to break me even when I wasn't with Akito…
… And I couldn't come up with anyone who hated me that much… well someone who would have the brains to do this that hated me, at least…
