Silence draped over the lair, a soporific spell broken only by the welcome sound of easy breathes.
And Raph's snoring.
Despite the noise, Donatello was drifting off, his eyelids staying closed longer and longer as sleep overwhelmed him. Mouth quirking with amusement, Leo patted his cheek. "Sorry, Don, but we have to take care of your wounds first. Then you can take a nap."
Shifting his body so he faced his brother, Don grumbled, "Don't call it that. I'm not a little kid."
Leo huffed a laugh as he stood up to retrieve some of the bandages and aloe he'd seen in Donnie's first aid kit. As he rifled through the wrappers and packages, his fingers happened upon a large patch, perfect for sealing up a shell fissure until time erased most of the damage. One of the advantages of being growing boys was their shells grew with them, often healing the way a scrape on a skinned knee would. Of course, shells grew at a slower rate than human skin, a rate more closely associated with bone.
It would heal, but Donatello was going to need to keep his shell clean and covered if he wanted to avoid any unnecessary complications, which, considering the way Leo had to poke and prod him just to keep him awake, was not one of his priorities.
Once he had Donnie's injured hand splayed out over his lap, Leo let him shut his eyes. After all, he could do the rest. It wasn't his first time treating an injury. And it definitely wasn't his first time taking care of a wounded carapace.
A memory, far more recent and vivid then he would have liked, played over his head, making him shudder as he rubbed the aloe over his brother's blisters, the thin layer of skin over the clear fluid inside proving malleable under his fingers.
As raw as they were, they wouldn't do any permanent damage to his hand, so Leo carefully bandaged it and filed away a reminder to ask for seat belts and additional seating arrangements on the new and improved Shell-Cycle.
Shell-Cycle 2.0?
He should probably just leave naming things to Mikey.
After the wounded area was fully covered, Leo grabbed the edge of Donnie's carapace with one hand, lifted him groaning off the coach, "Sorry, little brother, I'm almost done," and ripped the patch open with a quick yank of his teeth.
Just as he'd suspected, the crack was a thin line, noticeable but not debilitating. Chances were good it wouldn't even scar.
After what seemed like a lifetime of bad news and poor decisions, things were starting to look up. With that in mind, he gingerly pressed the patch over the fissure, and sighed, relieved to see that it covered the entire wound.
Taking care of injuries was important, but from the looks of things, Donnie was in desperate need of sleep.
Mere seconds after he'd laid his purple-masked brother against the couch, Raph's free arm snaked around him, pulling him close against his side.
Frowning a little at what he perceived to be an invasion of privacy, Leo asked, "Weren't you supposed to be asleep?"
With one eye cracked open, Raph gruffly replied, " I am."
"Right… How much did you hear?"
Speaking lowly so he didn't wake up Donatello, Raph said, "Nothing you didn't want me to, Fearless." When Leo just stared at him, stunned into silence, Raph closed his eyes. "If you're just going to stare at me like a slack jawed fish, I do have some shut-eye to catch up on, so-"
"Thanks, Raph."
For some reason, his brother looked a little surprised to hear him say it, but knowing he had someone to lean on again… it made him happy – an emotion he'd come dangerously close to throwing away. Back in the Foot Clan, he'd begun unwittingly leaning on Michelangelo. If he hadn't depended on him so much, maybe Mikey would've trusted him to find a way out of the choice the Shredder forced upon him.
Not that he would have deserved that trust. He'd stood around, staring at the Shredder like a deer startled by the barrel of a gun. At best, he might have attacked the Shredder, hoping to get the serum away from him before he could destroy it, but by the time Mikey had made his move, his mind had barely even finished its first coherent sentence.
If he were there again, facing the Shredder and his sadistic game, with no third options and no sudden rescues, what would he have chosen?
"Stop thinking." Startled out of his thoughts, Leo looked up to see Raph glaring at him. "I know you and I know what you're thinking, but it's been a long day and a long week and just a really long time since I've gotten to sleep knowing none of my brothers are in some sort of mortal peril or…" he glanced sideways at Donnie, who Leo noticed for the first time was much thinner around the arms and legs than he remembered him being, features made sharp under his skin," or working themselves into an early grave, so if you don't mind, let's leave the self-blame leader shtick for later." A pause. "And by later, I mean never."
Settling down next to Raph, Leo yawned, "I don't know about never, but I can definitely do later."
The dojo doors slid open, revealing his brothers' master. Sighing, Leo muttered, "Or I could do it now."
Master Splinter took in the sight of his sons gathered around the couch, his two youngest already asleep, and said, "Leonardo, I would like to speak with you in my quarters."
Fighting back a groan, Leo answered, "Hai." All he wanted to do was fall asleep with his brothers. Was that really too much to ask?
Ignoring the feeling of Raphael keeping him in sight, Leo strode past the training dummy… and did a rapid double take.
The crudely drawn eyes were nothing new, nor were the comically large and bushy eyebrows, but he didn't remember a mask being drawn on the dummy, or cardboard spikes sticking out of its head and shoulders. Plus, the chopsticks sticking out of its hands were definitely a recent addition.
A ninja master was waiting for him to join him and all Leo wanted to do was curl up on the floor and laugh until his stomach hurt.
Somehow sensing the struggle, Raph smirked. It may not have been made with the intention of making his brother laugh – Shredder Dummy #1 was actually created a month before, when he and Don first realized just who was responsible for Leo and Mikey's disappearance – but if Shredder Dummy #55 cheered his brothers up, than it was worth a thousand times more than the man who inspired it.
He was still going to pound it to a pulp, though.
Shaking his head and suppressing a smile, Leo cast one last glance at the couch, imagining a chest rising in time to a heartbeat and the two little brothers he'd inadvertently left behind sitting in front of it, each of them leaning on the other.
Back when they were young, barely older than toddlers, and learning kanji, they were taught that the character for hito, human, was two people leaning against each other, and if one were to fall, the other would fall as well. It was a warning that no man could stand without leaning on someone, but it also had a different meaning: No human or mutant could stand unless they were leaning on someone, and unless someone was leaning on them.
Pulling away from the dummy, Leo felt a sudden sense of vertigo and stumbled, black dots dancing across his vision. He closed his eyes for a moment, waiting for the dizziness to pass, because despite an initial panicking thought that it was the symptoms of poisoning coming back, he knew it was only due to the large amount of blood he'd given without resting or replenishing his body.
Opening his eyes, he saw the ninja master in the same dignified position he'd last seen him in, except three steps closer than he'd been previously. His kimono swayed at his feet, as though he'd only just stopped moving forward.
Clearing his throat with a hint of discomfort, Master Splinter said, "Perhaps, it would be wise if we spoke in the kitchen, so that you may refuel your body as we speak."
Thinking he'd rather speak with his brothers' master in private than in a kitchen that could clearly be seen and heard from the couch, Leo waved off the concern, saying he'd grab a bite to eat after their talk.
A derisive snort coming from the Pit suggested that a certain red-masked turtle thought he'd made a poor decision. Well, his opinion was duly noted and going to be ignored.
With an air of reluctance, the ninja master turned towards the dojo, his paws moving soundlessly across the tile until they padded softly over the wooden floor of the dojo. There, he waited for Leonardo to follow.
And Leo shouldn't have been amazing by the smell of pine oil and sandal wood that suddenly saturated the air as he stepped into the dojo, he shouldn't have stretched his eyes wide in awe as he took in the beauty of the painted ninja leaping into battle against their armored foes… he shouldn't have glanced uneasily at the weapons, knowing exactly how much harm each could do to a human body.
There was a time when weapons were light, moving easily and gracefully in his hands. Now, though his katana weighed exactly the same as they always had, the feeling of joy he'd always taken from their sharp edges and smooth sides was all but extinguished. The days of swinging his blades jokingly, as though they were wooden swords in the hands of a child, had long since passed.
Unconsciously, he rubbed his arms, trying to work warmth back into his body. Splinter slid the painted doors open, revealing a barren room, empty except for a piece of cheddar cheese – closer inspection revealed it to be a phone - on top of a crate and a scroll detailing trees with curved trunks and a crane, all drawn in ink with long, sweeping strokes.
Leo observed him as he entered seiza, though he made no move to do the same. Still, the urge to sit twisted within him like a compulsion. The only thing that kept him standing was the question burning on his tongue, eating away at him every time he laid eyes on the mutated man, and he wanted to be standing when he asked it.
Once it became clear that Leonardo was not going to join him on the floor, Splinter said in a calming tone, "I know you have been through much, my son, but I am afraid I do now know how much. It would seem there are many things your brothers have neglected to tell me."
"It's not their fault!" Leo blurted out. When Splinter gestured for an elaboration, Leo continued, "They only suspected that something had been done to Mikey and I until today, and today they helped us escape, so there wasn't any time to tell you."
"Leonardo," Splinter reached out to his son and was unable to hide the flash of hurt in his expression when his oldest flinched away from his touch, "I have no intention of punishing your brothers. There is a wise Japanese saying that goes, "When you raise ninjas, expect secrets." Perhaps your brothers felt it would be better if they waited until they had definitive proof of your well being before they informed me of your whereabouts."
"If you had known-" Leo started slowly, paying close attention the way his mouth formed the words, "If you had known where we were, if you had known what was happening, what was being done to us, would you have come?"
Saddened that his son honestly did not know what should have been bone deep knowledge, Splinter said with a hushed voice, "Of course I would have. I am-"
"Don't." Leo clenched his fists, trembling with an emotion he couldn't place. "Don't tell me you're my father. I won't accept that." Fighting for control, he added, "A father would have found us first." One hard swallow later and the words flowed once more. "I waited everyday for you to come. And everyday I was disappointed. But the Shredder came. He took us in, gave us a home, and I thought, "Oh, this must be the person I was waiting for." A hollow chuckle filled the room. "I was such a fool. He was the one who put us on the streets in the first place. He stole our memories to make us love him and I almost fell for it." He gave a wet, choked sounding laugh, shaking his head as though he'd forgotten the ninja master sitting in front of him was even present. It was all Splinter could do not to reach out and embrace him, but he knew his son was not yet ready. If what he'd said about his memories were true, then it explained why his oldest now regarded him as a stranger. "Raph doesn't blame me and Donnie doesn't blame and even though it's my fault he almost died I know Mikey isn't going to blame me. If I don't blame myself, who will? You?" He spat the word out, hating it. Hating his own weakness and the building pressure inside him that told him he needed to find someone besides himself to blame or risk falling apart.
"No one, Leonardo, because you are not to blame for the machinations of a mad man." For once, the words sunk through his guilt and stayed, not brushed aside or explained away in the manner so many other assurances had been. They stole his anger away. "Hatred for others is a deadly poison, but hatred for yourself is equally poisonous."
Hands wrapped tightly around his plastron to keep him from shattering like broken glass, Leo whispered, "I waited for you."
"I know, Leonardo. And if blaming me can help heal you, please do so. If you do not wish to accept me as your master, I will understand. However, regardless of what you choose to believe, I will always be your father."
In the time it took to blink, Leo felt himself enveloped in a warm embrace, with the fabric of a kimono pressing against his face and two arms heavy on his back.
"When you were a child, I promised you I would always be there to protect you. I realize now that was rash of me. I would like to tell you that there will never come a time when you feel lost or lonely again, but those times will come regardless of what I say or want for you. I cannot recklessly promise you will always be happy or that you and your brothers will always be safe, no matter how much I may wish it, but I can promise you this: No matter how lonely you feel or how lost you become, there will always be a home for you to come back to."
Between the words falling over him, warm and comforting like a blanket, and the other, familiar scent of fur and incense, it was as though a missing piece of Leo had audibly and loudly clicked into place, so physical he nearly touched his chest to make sure nothing had changed.
Suddenly, the shadow that had comforted him when he was a child hiding in the dojo so his brothers wouldn't know he was afraid- suddenly it had a face, a snout, whiskers. Squeezing his eyes shut as more memories ghosted through his mind, he felt something hot roll down his cheek, and then a padded finger wiped it away.
With a cautious, budding hope, Splinter asked, "Do you remember me, Leonardo?"
Burying his face into the crook of his father's neck, Leo replied, "Hai. I remember you, Father. I'm so sorry, I-"
Before he could finish, Master Splinter gently hushed him. "Do not apologize, my son. You are here. You are whole. That is enough."
Once he'd gotten a glass of milk and a sandwich in his oldest son, Master Splinter sent him to bed. Well, he tried to. Leo immediately dug his heels in. "Even if I wanted to go to my room," and part of him did at least want to see it, just to see if it was at all different from how he remembered, though he was certain Raph had kept their rooms as unchanged as possible,"Raph won't go for it."
"He's right," called a voice from behind the couch. "I won't."
Master Splinter raised an arch brow, commenting dryly, "But Raphael is sleeping."
"That's right. I am."
Splinter smiled."Therefore, he does not have a choice in the matter."
Quickly changing his tune, Raph added, "Wait, you didn't let me finish, Sensei. What I was going to say was 'I am awake.'
Behind them, the toaster dinged, and the acrid smell of smoke and melted black fabric filled the kitchen.
Speaking slowly and deliberately, Leo stared at the burning, fiery lump and asked, "Raph… is that my mask?"
"One, even if that was the mask you came in here wearing, it still wouldn't be your mask, and two, that's Mikey's. Your's was accidentally on purpose shredded to pieces and shoved down the garbage disposal."
Exasperated, Leo muttered aloud as he went to fetch the fire extinguisher. "Sensei, is there a Japanese saying about not leaving fools alone for more than five minutes?"
"Yes, I believe there is, Leonardo. It is said to be a quote from a great philosopher with four teenaged sons and a terrible headache." While Leo extinguished the fire, Splinter moved around the couch to see a wide and completely unrepentant grin on his red-masked son. "Raphael, I am going to go into the tunnels for a moment so I do not do something I will regret." That wiped the smile off his son's face. "When I come back, I expect you, Donatello, and Leonardo to be in your rooms." When Raph opened his mouth to protest, Master Splinter cut him off with, "I would like to spend some time alone with Michelangelo, if you don't mind?"
How could he say no to that? He couldn't… he couldn't, but… he'd just gotten his little brother back.
Seeing his expression fall and taking it as a sign of grudging acceptance, Master Splinter assured both his sons that he would alert them the moment Michelangelo's condition changed.
As he watched them trudge to bed, he regretted his decision slightly, since he had never seen his sons look more miserable than they did as they trudged past him, Raphael with Donatello's unconscious, dead-to-the-world form hoisted up on his back. Unfortunately, if Michelangelo's memories had been tampered with the same way Leonardo's were, then it was for the best that he spoke with him after he woke up.
Leo stopped short in front of his room, uncomfortable with the thought of sleeping alone. He imagined himself staring at the ceiling for the entire night, dark thoughts and unwanted memories treading through their usual paths through his mind. There would be no one to distract him, no one to tell a joke or throw a pillow at him. All at once, the thought of sleeping in his room again lost its appeal.
Raph poked his head out of the room next to his. "Hey, what're you doing? We're crashing in Mikey's room tonight. I already set Donnie on the bed, so get your butt in here." One eye-ridge raised skeptically, Raph asked, "Unless you were actually planning on sleeping tonight? In which case-"
Not giving him time to even finish his sentence, Leo brushed him aside and stepped into the room. There was one difference in the room that he hadn't expected. "Where's Mikey's pillow?"
Scratching his neck, Raph replied, "Right. Your pillow's gone, too."
"Why?"
He moved away from him, clearing out a spot on Mikey's unmade bed so he could lay a hand on Donnie's leg. At the touch, their sleeping brother smiled a little, pulling his knees up closer to his chest.
"Three months is a long time, bro. Not all of us thought you were coming back."
Stepping outside into the tunnels, as Splinter had always planned to do, he waited for the underground currents to carry his scent, for the vibrations he made as he stepped into the water to reach what he knew to be lurking in the shadows.
Within five minutes, a serpentine shape detached itself from the wave, its scales scraping against the concrete. He tilted his head back slightly so he could meet its slitted eyes as it loomed over him in the dim light of the sewer.
Three forked tongues darted into the air, tasting it, and the mutated girl lowered herself, recognizing the scent of her father, and bowed. "Forgive me, Father. I have not yet found my brothers. However, sssomething has happened at the Foot-" She broke off, puzzled and a little unnerved by the expression Master Splinter was showing her. "Why are you sssmiling?"
Laughing quietly at her confusion, Master Splinter stroked one of his daughter's semi-sentient hands and said, "My daughter, your brothers have been found."
Immediately, Karai became more agitated. "Found? Where are they?" Water sloshed, waves lapped the edge of the sidewalk as her body moved back and forth, power and poison flowing through her as her body readied itself for a hunt. "We have to sssave them!"
"Calm yourself, Miwa. Your brothers are home. They are safe." The disappearance of Karai's killing intent confused her two additional heads, they nipped at Splinter, annoyed. Karai herself could barely believe that her brothers were safe and sound in the lair, just behind the door.
"Are they well?" Splinter hesitated. Sensing that her father was not merely pausing for dramatic effect, Karai hissed, "Father, please don't lie to me. What hasss happened to Leo and Mikey?"
Knowing she wouldn't be satisfied with anything else, Splinter told her the truth. "The Shredder hurt Michelangelo. Not recently, but many scars remain. And both of their minds have been tampered with."
Michelangelo… he had called her sister, accepted her into the family with open arms and a lopsided grin. And Leo… He was the first to ever see the person she could be, the girl behind the Shredder's daughter. What had the Shredder done to them? What had he taken from them?
Tail thrashing with agitation, Karai snapped, "I should have eaten that man when I had the chance!"
When no response was forthcoming, every part of turned curiously to gage her father's reaction to her outburst. To her surprise, he seemed almost contemplative. "Perhaps that is not such a bad idea."
"Father!"
Hands up placating, Splinter clarified that he did not mean Karai should try swallowing the Shredder whole, he had much too many sharp edges for that, but perhaps they could mail him a very large python?
A soft rasping sound issued from her mouth as Karai shook her head. It took a minute, but Splinter eventually realized she was laughing, and relaxed, allowing some of the tension to melt from his shoulders.
Like seeing the sun again at the end of an endless night, he had regained his two missing sons and heard his daughter laugh, and all in the same day.
Even if loving often came with heartache, and trusting sometimes came with pain, it was days like these that reminded him that loving and trusting and holding his family close were all things worth fighting tooth and claw for, even if it did seem to come with a lifetime of perpetually broken kitchen appliances.
