Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of the characters except for Dimitri (not from vampire academy)….who will come into the story later. :]
I smiled back at her slightly, "Thanks Alice." She nodded and turned back to Jasper. Emmett just looked at me and Rosalie looked furious.
As I walked to class, I felt completely hurt and empty. It hurt to know that I suggested Edward go to Tanya and explain to her that what we have is nothing and will be nothing. It hurt because I'm falling for him and I can't do anything about it. Empty because nobody has ever made me feel this way and I'm pretty sure no one will ever make me feel this way except Edward.
My thoughts wondered too many questions. Will I ever be happy and have someone? Is Edward falling for me too or is he in love with Tanya? Will I ever get over what I feel for Edward? Will we ever be together? So many questions that I hoped will be answered in time.
Someone knocked into me, slipping me from my thoughts. I looked up to see that I passed my class. I sighed and turned back around and walked a little more swiftly to my class. But, on my way I caught sight of bronze hair and strawberry colored hair standing in an empty corner in the hallway. My nerves shot up and I took a deep breath. I quietly tiptoed closer to them trying not to be seen. I quickly checked my cell phone for how many minutes until class starts. 5 and half minutes. I sighed again.
I got close enough to hear their conversation. I knew I was being nosey and I felt the guilt creeping up again inside me but I ignored it.
"Edward I saw you okay! I saw you looking at her like you look at me! Or used to look at me!" Tanya yelled accusingly. She had tears running down her cheeks. Edward looked torn and he was using his thumbs to wipe her tears.
"Tanya, There's nothing going on between me and Bella." Edward said gently.
Tanya sniffed, "I never said that. I said that you look at her like she's the most precious thing in you world. And it hurts. Why have you stopped looking at me like that?" Tanya cried.
I have never felt so much guilt before in my life. My heart was beating so fast I was sure that they could hear it. My heart waited for Edward's answer.
"Tanya, I care so much for you. Bella is nothing to me." Edward said pleading, an edge to his voice. My heart sunk and I felt hurt.
I meant nothing to him! The kiss meant nothing? I felt tears well up in my eyes and a sob start. I forced my sob down.
"Do you even love me anymore?" Tanya questioned sadly.
Edward sighed deeply and leaned his forehead against Tanya's, "Of course I love you Tanya. We've been together for years. I care about you a lot. Bella is just a friend to me. There's nothing going on. Okay?" Edward said firmly but with emotion.
Tanya smiled through her tears and hugged Edward tightly, "I'm sorry, it's just I don't want to lose you to Bella. You're everything to me Edward. I love you." Tanya said passionately, kissing him hard.
They broke away after a while. Edward kissed her forehead gently.
"Now let's get to class. We're going to be late." Edward said lightly, putting an arm around Tanya's waist. She put hers around his waist too. They left in the direction of their class while I stood in my spot stung and hurt beyond imagination.
My heart literally broke into peaces and I silently cried, sliding down on the ground, my back against the wall. I hugged my arms around myself.
It hurts so much. Tanya gets everything. She gets Edward. My Edward. Edward who said I meant nothing to him. Edward who said that he will wait for me at his house yesterday. Yeah right! What a liar. Probably felt sorry for me. I thought irritably.
The bell rang but I stayed frozen, still crying in the same spot. My thoughts kept going to the hurtful conversation. Over and over again. My heart felt so heavy like it weighed a ton. I knew that by staying, I would be considered ditching but I didn't care. I didn't want anyone to see me with red puffy eyes and a disgruntled face. So as the class period dragged on, I just kept zoning in and out with silent tears still dripping down my face.
I looked around. Nobody was in the hallway. I heard the voices in the classes and the occasional laughter. I sighed and put my head in my knees while rubbing my neck softly.
I hoped that no one would discover me sitting here crying my heart out. The pain was too harsh and it was stuck there.
It felt like I had been sitting down for days, but when the 7 minute bell rang before the students were dismissed, I slowly got up. I felt my sore muscles from sitting too still too long. I wiped my face of the remnants of the last tears and rubbed my eyes gently. I took my backpack and turned to the direction of the bathroom.
Once I got in, I looked into the mirror. Reflected back to me was a girl who had lost her confidence and who had been hurt too much. My eyes were wide and red and had lost their sparkle. My cheeks had trails of dry tears and black lines of mascara. I touched my cheek and sighed deeply.
I got a paper towel and wet it with water and softly wiped the mascara off. Then I proceeded to wipe on a fresh coat of mascara on. My eyes still looked puffy and red but I just shrugged and ignored it not being able to get rid of it.
I felt so lost, like I lost my place in the world. The confidence I had disappeared, and as I scrutinized my outfit, I felt like a slut more than ever. I had no idea of who I was anymore.
And all because of my broken heart. Why did I have to fall for someone taken?
I grumbled to myself and put my backpack back on and walked back out of the bathroom, my shoulders slouching and my head hanging low. I walked to next period with my mind in a tangled mess. I looked around to see if anyone was out. I didn't want to get caught wondering about the halls while missing my last period. They didn't need to know that I had a mental and physical melt down. As I got to my class, dodging class windows, I leaned against the wall next to the door.
I drummed my fingers against the wall and against my legs, trying to distract myself and trying to find the beat while silently mouthing out my favorite song. I heard commotion in the class while everyone was probably packing in their things and talking loudly, excited that the school day was almost over.
My mind wondered to what Alice and the others would say when they see or heard of me missing class and about my appearance. I still had the feeling my face looked like I was crying earlier. And I hoped that Alice didn't see the connection between my appearance and the solved out problem between Edward and Tanya. I knew she was smart and that one day she will find out about the attraction I hold for Edward but right not I wanted her to not know anything.
She will know sooner or later. She's like a psychic little pixie. I laughed, feeling a little better.
The bell rang and the door next to me flew open as students poured out happily and loud.
Some people looked at me confused and suspicious, as to wonder why I was standing alone against the wall. But I just shrugged and looked at them with a raised eyebrow as if to challenge me. They looked away immediately. One guy, with shoulder length blonde hair and brown eyes, looked at me smiling alluringly. He was cute and seemed sweet.
But he's not Edward. My mind whispered. I grunted.
I looked back at the guy and tried to smile. But it came out more like a grimace. The guy looked disappointed and bemused and turned back around.
I sighed and rubbed my temples with my two index fingers. It was like my whole personality changed. I couldn't even flirt back. It was official. Edward Cullen held a piece of my heart. And I couldn't do anything about it. It was his choice whether he wants to protect it or to shatter the piece more. I was angry, what right did he have but I sucked it down and went into class. I sat in the back and pulled out a notebook and a pen. I slouched in my seat and looked straight ahead. The class was empty save for the teacher who smiled approvingly at me, happy I came to class in time.
My mind was racing and my eyes never left the board when someone blocked it. I saw pink and knew right away it was Alice. I looked at her and smiled as happily as I could. But I had a feeling it didn't come out like that. Alice knew and smiled sadly and sat next to me. She dropped her stuff on the floor and grabbed my hand. She knew I was having a struggle in my mind so she kept silent. I was grateful for that.
When I cleared my mind and looked at her again, her face was unreadable.
"Hey Alice." I said softly.
She frowned, "Are you okay? Your eyes look red." Her tone concerned.
I sighed, "I'm fine." I ran my hand through my hair.
Alice didn't look convinced, "You looked like you were crying. Why?" she demanded gently.
I avoided her eyes, "It's nothing Alice." I plead.
The room was getting more crowded.
Alice argues, "It is a big deal to me Bella. I want to know why you look sad."
I glare at her slightly, "I said I'm fine Alice. Okay?" Alice looked hurt.
I sigh, "I'm sorry Alice. That was harsh. I'm just….tired." I said trying to smile.
Alice again looked unconvinced and opened her mouth to respond but I gave her a look. She shut her mouth immediately and shook her head defeated.
"Okay. If you're sure Bella." She said gently, patiently.
I nod and look toward the front again. I felt Alice's gaze burn into the side of my face but I ignored it. I kept my face blank, no emotion shown whatsoever. Alice sighed and I felt her move around. I felt the slap of her notebook and pen against the desk. The teacher was talking but I wasn't hearing. My mind went in circles. I couldn't concentrate. I saw in the corner of my eye that Alice was writing in her notebook. My notebook laid untouched on the desk, opened to a blank sheet of paper and my pen still.
My eyes wondered from the clock and back to the board continuously. I wanted the day to end. This was my last period and I wanted to get home so that I could cry my heart out again.
Finally, the bell rang and I jumped a bit. Alice laughed. I stuck my tongue out and she laughed harder.
I got up and packed and Alice came around beside me. We walked together out of the classroom, squishing through the crowds of people.
"That was my move Bella." Alice said teasingly.
I chuckled, "I know."
Alice roller her eyes and started to glide gracefully.
Stupid graceful pixie.
We came out of the school and towards the parking lot to her car. Along the way she saw Jasper and squealed. I laughed at her. She ran to him and kissed him. I smiled at their cuteness. I also saw Emmett and Rosalie, Emmett looking cheerful and Rosalie grumpy and bitchy as usual. I snort. I walk towards Alice, who along with Jasper met up with Rosalie and Emmett. Jasper hugged me when he saw me approaching. I hugged him back and laughed.
Emmett boomed, "Bella!" And hugged me tightly but this time he let go so that I wouldn't have to gasp for air.
I giggled, "Thanks for not squishing me to death." I joke. Emmett grins, his dimples showing.
Rosalie sighed and rolled her eyes. I ignored her.
"Are you comin' over Bella?" Emmett asks excitedly.
My smile falters, "I can't today, Emmett. Maybe tomorrow." I explain shakily, trying not to show my emotions on my face. Alice was looking at me suspiciously.
Emmett's face fell dramatically and he sulked, "Aw man."
Rosalie smiled slightly.
Jasper frowned and Alice was still searching my face for anything.
"What do you need to do Bella?" Alice asked raising an eyebrow.
I shot her a look but replied, "I have…stuff to do." I replied calmly.
Alice looked unconvinced yet again but something on my face stopped her from saying anything else. So she nodded instead. I sighed in relief. Jasper looked confused. I smiled slightly.
Emmett was still sad and Rosalie was looking bored. Then she brightened up.
I looked around and saw Edward and Tanya, coming towards us looking happy.
My heart sunk lower and my breath was coming faster. I tired to keep my face in a mask but it was hard.
I couldn't, so I turned away from the group, shielding my face from my hair. The sobs were threatening to pour out again and I had to clench my fists tightly. My heart was throbbing in hurt.
I heard Tanya squeal, "Hey guys. I'm coming with you guys. Is that okay?" her tone happy and excited.
Alice answered, "I g-guess." Her tone was distracted and I felt her eyes on me.
"Okay!" Tanya said cheerfully.
Edward chuckled along with Emmett. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes.
I heard Rosalie and Tanya talking quietly and Jasper, Emmett, and Edward playing around. I guess I was invisible.
I heard Alice's voice, "Bella?" she called, her voice small.
I opened my eyes and put my face in a mask. I turned to her and her expression was one of suspicion and sadness.
"Are y-you okay?" she asked concerned.
I laughed shakily, "Of course."
Alice still looked sad. "Then why are you so quiet?"
"I don't know. I guess I'm tired. Can we go now?" I ask firmly.
Something passes through Alice's eyes but it was too fast for me to see. She nodded and beckoned me forward, to them.
Emmett saw me, "There you are Bella. I wondered where you went of to!" Emmett boomed.
Edward stopped and looked at me. I avoided his eyes, in fear of breaking down again. I couldn't take his happy expression.
"Well, I've been here. I guess I'm invisible." I joked. Emmett chuckled.
I still felt Edward's eyes on me but I stayed strong and didn't look at him. His green eyes would be too much.
I looked at Alice. She smiled and I grinned back.
"Bella, are you coming with us?" Tanya asked mockingly.
I want to punch your pretty face too.
"No I'm not. I have things to do." I replied firmly.
Tanya smirked smugly, "Oh. Well that's too bad." She replied in a mocking tone. I flinched.
Rosalie snickered. Edward frowned.
Alice hissed, "Tanya stop acting like a total bitch." She snapped angrily. Everyone looked shocked at Alice. Tanya looked simply hurt. I had a feeling that Tanya was always on Alice's good side and that Alice never bitched to Tanya.
I was stunned and felt a trickle of gratefulness at Alice. She was starting to become such a great friend. Someone I can count on.
"W-what?" Tanya asked hurt.
Alice continued, "You heard me. You keep dissing Bella and I'm sick of it. She didn't do anything to you. So stop acting like a bitch." Alice's tone was cold.
My eyes widened and everyone else's too. I heard Rosalie gasp.
Tanya looked angry, "Why don't you let Bella stand up for herself." She demanded, glaring at me and Alice.
"Tanya, shut the fuck up. God, you've been getting on my nerves lately with your nasty attitude. Ever since Bella came, you've been bitchier, always on defense." Alice replied icily.
Tanya gaped. Alice continued on, "Why is that? Are you jealous of Bella?"
Tanya glared, "No! Why would I be jealous of a slutty whore?"
That was it for Alice. She ran to Tanya and slapped her hard, furious.
"Don't you fucking dare call Bella a whore when lately you've been acting like one!!" Alice yelled, pissed off, a wild look in her eyes.
Tanya yelled back, "I'm not a slut," Tanya looked from Alice to me furiously, a evil sparkle in her eyes, "Why don't you come and fight your own battles Bella? You have Alice do it. You're fucking pathetic. Why don't you go back to where you come from, you whore! You think you can go and steal my spotlight, my popularity. No way bitch! And Edward! He's mine! You want him, don't you? He doesn't want you Bella! He will never want anyone ugly, pathetic, and a slut like you!" her voice cold. Everyone looked disgusted and extremely shocked. Alice was trying to get out of Jasper's grip and looked like she wanted to beat the shit out of Tanya.
Tanya glared at me. I was stunned and so hurt.
Of course, why would Edward want someone like me when he has Tanya? I'm nothing but a nuisance.
I was sobbing, tears pouring constantly down my face. I was shaking and in anguish. I looked at Edward, who was looking at everything but my face. His expression held anger, guilt, hatred, disgust, and mostly regret. Rosalie was smirking and Emmett was so shocked along with Jasper. Alice was so furious and wanted another go at Tanya.
Tanya laughed evilly, "Go Bella! Go and don't come back! Nobody likes you. The Cullen's just feel bad for you! Go away you slutty whore!" She screamed angrily.
People around the parking lot where looking at the scene in shock. The whole parking lot was quiet.
Alice screamed, "Shut up Tanya! You're the whore." Alice looked at me, "Don't listen to her Bella. We don't feel bad for you. I'm you best friend Bella!" Alice pleaded, her eyes watering.
I looked at her and smiled gratefully.
You don't deserve this Bella. Edward looks like he doesn't care about you. You should show some confidence and show Edward that you're too good for him. You are too good for him. He's an asshole right now. Come one Bella.
I wiped my tears, and took deep breaths. Tanya was still laughing. Edward continued to stand there looking shocked. Emmett was glaring at Tanya, Jasper with an unreadable face. Rosalie was smiling widely. I stood up straighter.
I'll show you Tanya. You're the fucking whore.
Tanya continued to mock, "What are you waiting for Bella? You're such a cry baby. Boo hoo you wh-" she cut of when I marched up to her face and punched her hard. I heard a crack and Tanya screamed holding her nose. Blood was pouring out.
I laughed happily, "That's what you get, you bitch! And it's Bella Fella to you!" I said proudly and smugly.
That's what you get Tanya!
Alice laughed hard and cheered. Emmett laughed, giving a thumbs up at my nickname and Jasper caught my eye and winked at me. Rosalie growled. Edward looked angry and still regretful.
The people around us where cheering, some making comments about how happy they were that Tanya was put into place and some sneering at me.
Tanya screamed, "You fucking bitch! You broke my nose! Eddie look at what she did!" she whined to Edward. Alice rolled her eyes and giggled. Edward got out of his daze and looked at Tanya, inspecting her nose. He sighed heavily. I thought I saw his lips twitching but it could have been my imagination. Tanya's eyes were watering from the pain.
Edward responded, "We have to go to the hospital. You're nose it broken." He replied calmly. He caught Alice's glare. They looked at each other communicating. Finally he shook his head and grabbed Tanya's bloody hand and went towards his car. Rosalie glared at me, pecked Emmett's lips and went to comfort Tanya. With one last glare 'if looks can kill', Tanya and Rosalie walked after Edward. They got in and left the parking lot, speeding.
I was angry. My fists were clenched. Edward didn't even care. He didn't even look at me. No remorse or apology. What happened to the old Edward, the one who said that he would wait for me? The one who said he cared about me?
Alice came to me and hugged me, "I'm sorry about that Bella. Tanya was just pushing my buttons. Don't believe anything she said. I don't know why she turned into such a bitch." She replied apologetically.
I sighed and laughed slightly, "Its fine Alice. She was pissing me off too. And I didn't believe her." I said gently.
She sighed in relief and let me go.
Emmett came to me smiling sheepishly yet proud, "That was awesome Bella! Tanya was getting on my nerves these last few days. She deserved it." He said chuckling a bit.
I giggled, "Thanks Emmett."
"I agree with Emmett, Bella." Jasper commented cheerfully. I smiled a 'thanks'.
The parking lot was still filled with people who were talking amidst them selves. Probably gossiping.
I sighed and looked at Alice, "Can we go now? It's kind of late." I asked softly.
Alice nodded, "Yeah let's go. Too much drama for one day." She joked. I laughed along with Jasper and Emmett.
Alice looked at me, "Jasper and Emmett are coming with us since Edward took the car."
I nod, "Its fine."
Emmett whoops and Jasper claps Emmett on the back laughing.
We head to Alice's Porsche.
"Shotgun!" Emmett yells.
"You're not getting shotgun in my car. Get you're ass in the backseat with Jasper." Alice yells, looking at Emmett with her hands on her tiny hips. I bite my lip to stifle my laughter. Jasper's lips twitches.
Emmett pouts and whines,"That's not fair pixie!"
Alice glares, "What was that?' Alice demanded.
Emmett looked scared, "Um n-n-nothing A-alice!" he replied shakily.
Alice nods, pleased. That was it, I busted out laughing. I was laughing so hard, tears were running down my face. Jasper was in the same position as I was.
"S-so f-f-fun-ny-y," I gasp in between laughs. My sides started to hurt.
Alice whirls around and glares at me and Jasper, "You want me to bitch slap you guys?" she says firmly yet there's a pinch of humor in her voice.
I shake my head, "N-no," I gasp trying to calm my laughter. Jasper dropped to the floor and rolled around the ground continuously laughing. Emmett is whining.
After 5 minutes I finally calmed down. I wiped the tears from my eyes and stood up straight and looked at Alice, "I'm sorry Alice. We should get going now."
Alice smirks. We all get into the car. I, in the passenger seat, Jasper and Emmett in the backseat, and Alice in the drivers' seat. As Alice starts the engine and we back out and drive out of the parking lot, I look out the car window. People were leaving now, realizing that the drama was over.
We sped down the streets. Jasper and Emmett are joking around. Alice plays some music and I bob my head with the tune.
Suddenly, Alice parks in my driveway. I frown.
I turn to the trio, "Well thanks for the ride Alice and everything else, and you too Emmett and Jasper." I said grateful.
Emmett and Jasper nod and smile. Alice squeals, "Bye Bella!" and leans over to hug me.
Emmett booms, "Bye Bella Fella!" I laugh happily.
"Bye Bella." Jasper replies.
"Bye guys. See ya tomorrow." With one last smile at them, I open the car door, get my backpack on and get out. I walk towards my front door. I heard Alice starting the engine. I look over my shoulder to see them backing out of the drive way and driving down the street. I could see Emmett sticking his face onto the car window and making funny faces, while Jasper smacks him on the head. I laugh loudly and shake my head.
Boys.
I hesitantly open my front door. It seemed too quiet. I walk in and closed the door. I look around. Everything looks the same. Nothing out of place. I walk into the kitchen and on the counter there was a yellow post it note. I pick it up and read it:
Bella-
Charlie and I are going to Dinner tonight. He wanted to have a night out for the two of us. Stay safe.
I love you
-Mom
I sigh and put the note back down. I head upstairs. I opened my bedroom door, dropped my backpack on the floor next to my desk and collapsed on my bed.
I sigh loudly.
Too much drama for one day.
Review. :] And Thank you.
