Year 2
Chapter 10: The Plight of Colin
New chapter by Steve2
Something that was fun to write, and I did it partially before I even started this story.
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, or anything related to it.
{-10-}
"Look, I'm telling you, Superduperman could kick any Dark Lord's behind six ways to Sunday," Fred pressed his case to the table.
At said table sat his brother and fellow Gryffindor, George, and two Slytherins: Blaise Zabini and one Harry Potter. It was another typical Saturday morning, roughly a half hour before lunch, and the foursome were exploring their favorite topic – that of Harry trying to get them interested in superhero comics. Maybe break them out of that 'I can do magic' insanity.
"That may be so, but what happened to Filch's cat probably wasn't done by a dark lord," Blaise pointed out.
"That may be so, young snake," George agreed, his head coming up from reading one of Harry's comics, "but it wasn't done as a joke either. Believe me, we know jokes and that wasn't funny."
"You know," Harry chimed in, "I still haven't figured out how they got the cat's eyes to stay open like that. I mean, Filch was all for blaming me and who could blame him, but my chemistry scores aren't that good yet for me to make a hallucinogenic to do that."
"A what?"
"Hmmm, that's right – you still believe in magic. Okay. How about: I haven't figured out how to brew a 'potion' of doing that."
"Oooohhhh," both brothers oh'ed.
"Hey, Harry?" a different voice asked behind the dark-haired boy.
Harry turned in his seat. "Yes?" he said.
FWOOSH! A camera bulb went off in his face. "Ack!" he grimaced.
"Thanks, Harry! That was a great shot. I'll get you some copies when I develop them," he grinned happily. "Maybe we can do lunch?"
"My eyes! I can't see!"
"I'll go get them developed and we can do lunch together. I've always wanted that. Bye, Harry!"
"You know," Harry blinked vision back into his now-working eyes. "I'm really beginning to hate that kid," he grumbled.
Fred had an idea. It happened now and then. "You know, Harry, if you were a superhero, how would you handle him?"
"Good question, brother of mine in all but appearances. In fact, let's make it an open question to the table. How would we handle that kid or get a superhero to handle that Colin kid. Best one with an idea by next week wins a prank of their choice."
Harry cocked his head sideways and smiled a knowing grin.
"Uh-oh. I know that look. Get ready to pay up, guys," Blaise said.
{-10-}
A week later, they sat down at the same table, before lunch, to go over their ideas.
Fred pulled out a picture of a mostly orange-wearing man. "If Colin came at me, I'll call Auqamanti-man…"
"You mean, Aquaman," Harry corrected.
Fred replied, "Whatever. I'd have him drench the kid in water every time he pulled out his camera. How's that?"
"Wow, Fred, you thought of that all by yourself? Or did you have help?" Harry shook his head.
Fred grinned and said, "Ahhh, I started to do my research on Colin and found my heart really wasn't into it since the kid only seems to mess with you."
"Bite me," Harry returned.
"Hey, I'm not a vampire," Fred commented.
"Neither am I. What's that got to do with anything?" Harry wondered.
"Before we go down this tangent again," George began, "I'd like to point out that if I had my way, I'd call my sister Ginny when Colin brought out his camera so she could stick up for you, Harry."
"Go to hell, you wanker," Harry grinned.
George laughed at that and ruffled Harry's hair a bit. Harry of course shoved George's hand off his head.
Harry looked at Blaise for a little help. Or something.
"If it were me," Blaise said, "I'd file a complaint with the Aurors and have the camera confiscated."
"That's not the superhero way," Harry pointed out.
"True, but I am an aristocrat, and we have an image to uphold."
"So what did you come up with, Harry?" Fred asked.
Harry pulled out some parchment and handed it over to the guys to read. "This is a little something I came up with."
{-10-}
The Plight of Colin
It was late at night. Reed Richards, or Mr. Fantastic as he was known to most everyone in the city, was just finishing work on his latest invention, an electronic babysitter for Franklin when he heard pounding coming from the lab. He wanted to ignore it, but it was persistent and he eventually got up from his computer and started to investigate.
It couldn't be Johnny or Ben – they were gone for the weekend. Sue was downstairs and if she needed anything, she would just call on the intercom. Where was that blasted noise coming from?
Uh-oh, he froze, finally realizing where the sound was coming from. The portal to the Negative Zone now had a metal disk in front of it to keep out anybody that shouldn't be coming in without an invitation.
Reed quickly walked over and set the security settings of the room on maximum and prepared to open the portal. From overhead panels, lethal looking devices of all shapes and sizes pointed towards to the portal.
Reed walked next to the portal and clicked the button to open it.
The disk slid aside and there in all his green and purple glory stood Annihilus, the most feared foe of the Negative Zone Reed could think of.
They looked at each other for a few moments. Reed was about to press another button to start the lethal devices shooting at the creature, for all the good it would do.
"You took the other one through this portal, man," Annihilus said. "My forces saw you take him with you and your youngling."
Understanding, Reed replied, "Yes, we brought Harry back with us."
"We found another of his kind and are giving him to you." With that, Annihilus motioned and one of his forces brought forth a smiling young man with blond hair.
"Hi! You haven't seen Harry around have you?"
"Quiet!" Annihilus roared to the young man. Then back to Reed, "You will take him."
Reed, unsure of what exactly was going on, stretched about six feet forward to reach the young man, taking him by hand and bringing him to Earth.
"Thanks, mister! Gosh, that was fun, Mr. Annihilus! We should do it again!" Then the young man reached into a pocket and pulled out an old camera with a flashbulb and took a quick picture of Annihilus.
"He is yours now, man!" Annihilus decreed, moving back into the Negative Zone. "No givebacks!"
Reed clicked the close button on the disk and could have sworn he heard Annihilus in the distance mutter, "…sucker" but wasn't sure so let it go. Sensing no immediate threat, the lethal devices all returned back to their ready state, hidden.
The lab back to normal, Reed turned to the young man. "Hello. My name is Reed Richards."
"Hi! I'm Colin Creevy! Wow, nice place you have here. And gravity! That's great! Say, you wouldn't happen to know Harry Potter would you? He and I are great friends!"
"Why, yes, I know Harry Potter. How do you know him?"
"He and I went to school together! We're pals!"
"Well, let's see about talking to him. Are you hungry after your stay in the Negative Zone?"
"Sure! Harry and I always ate at the same table, you know that?"
"Hi Reed, what's up?" came the voice over a special phone.
"Hi Harry. An interesting development has come up from the Negative Zone."
"You need any help with that?" Harry asked helpfully.
"Funny you should say that. Do you know a Colin Creevy?"
"Sure. Blond hair, medium height, smiles a lot, has a camera. Why?"
Reed explained the situation with Annihilus to Harry. "…so you understand why you would be the first person I contacted if he is another wizard like you."
"Hmmm, that is certainly odd," agreed Harry. "I wonder why he was in the Negative Zone."
"That is a mystery, Harry. One he might share with you."
"I agree, Reed. Say, I'm in the middle of something here for the next six hours. Do you mind keeping him until I can get there a little later tonight?"
"Sure thing, Harry. He's eating some of Sue's sandwiches now. It shouldn't be a problem."
"Thanks, Reed. I'll call you and let you know when to expect me. Give my love to Sue and Franklin."
"See you soon, Harry," Reed concluded, hanging up the phone.
Half a world away, a monarch finished listening to an intercepted call. His calculating eyes processed all that he had heard. This was not something to be missed.
"You! Ready the shuttle. We need to visit an old friend within the next five hours."
Roughly four and a half hours later…
"…and that was when I first met Harry. That was when I knew we'd be best friends forever."
"Glxybltle?" Franklin looked up to him, putting something plastic in his mouth.
Sue was asleep on the couch.
"I know, it surprised me as well, but we are still best buds to this day!"
"ALERT! ALERT! INTRUDER DETECTED!" boomed a mechanical voice throughout the living quarters.
Sue woke instantly. "Reed! What's happening?" She lifted Franklin into her arms and put up a force field around them.
Suddenly, Dr. Doom was standing a few feet away, one hand deactivating the chameleon field he'd used to infiltrate the building, and the other hand grabbing the wrist of Colin.
"Come with me, boy!" he spat, using his free hand to blow a hole in the wall. On the other side was a small plane that seemed to float next to the building.
"Sue!" Reed exclaimed as he ran into the room.
"Another time, Richards!" Doom gloated as he flew to the waiting plan, his prisoner in tow.
"Thanks, guys! I had a swell time!" Colin yelled after them.
In low orbit of Earth, Doom set the controls back to his native land and turned to his captive secured in the seat behind him.
FWOOSH!
"What the…?" Doom startled as Colin put his camera away. Strange, he thought, the restraints were all undone. He would need to look into that some more.
"Are you taking me to see Harry now?" Colin smiled as he looked out the window.
"We are returning to my native land first. There I will find out what makes you a wizard like Potter and I will take that power and add it to my own," Doom crowed.
"Okay," Colin looked at him. "Hey, did I ever tell you how I became friends with Harry Potter? It all started the day I learned I was a wizard and the teacher came out to tell me a little history of the magical world, and she had this book about Harry and…"
Roughly four hours later Doom's craft landed at his castle and the Doombots rushed forward to secure it and provide any assistance they could to their master. The door opened and out strode their master in his green cowl. Behind him was another man of late teens, early 20's approximately carrying a camera.
FWOOSH! Went the bulb as he took a picture of the Doombots servicing the plane. "…and that was how my first day at Hogwarts ended. Now the next day, I woke up early so I could get downstairs and meet Harry before breakfast."
"Silence!" Doom commanded.
"Sure thing. I can be silent. Uh-huh," Colin agreed.
Doom continued his stride to his lab, Colin walking behind him, taking pictures.
The silence lasted until he got to the door.
"Say, your castle doesn't look anything like Hogwarts. Have you ever thought of having students here? I bet you could get Harry to come if you made it nicer…"
Doom turned around and incanted a silencing spell and pointed to Colin. There! That should give him some much needed quiet.
They made their way down a couple corridors to the lab. "Neat!" exclaimed Colin, taking pictures of all the equipment.
Doom looked at the young wizard. How had he broken that silencing spell…? No matter, he could prattle all he wanted but it would avail him naught. He motioned for one of his Doombots to grab Colin and secure him to a table.
Colin did not struggle as the Doombot led him over to a table and strapped him to it.
"I don't remember any kind of table like this at Hogwarts," Colin began, "but I knew of a certain potions professor that I wanted to do this to. So did Harry. We talked about it at length some evenings. Let me tell you about it…"
Doom turned away from Colin and started up the machines. Within moments there was a satisfactory hum going throughout the lab and Doom moved to see the results on the monitor. That was strange. It wasn't reading anything…
"…so Harry told me about his first day in potions class. It was a nightmare, really…"
Doom turned towards Colin and startled to find that he was no longer on the table but instead directly behind him, still taking pictures.
Doom looked at the table again. The restraints were still active. How did he…
"How did you get off that table, boy?" Doom barked.
"Hmm? Oh, I got up. It was easy. Say, you want to hear about my first lunch with Harry? It was my second day at Hogwarts and…"
Four more times Doom tried to start an analysis of Colin.
He tried to immobilize him and use a hand scanning device. Colin simply smiled and talked about Harry as the device crumbled in Doom's hands and Colin raised his hand to take a picture of it.
He ordered one of his Doombots to hold Colin while he cast spells. Colin told about his first encounter with a Weasley (whoever that was), who was also friends with Harry, and the spells for some reason all said that the camera was indeed a vintage 50's style press camera. Doom was looking at his hands trying to figure out if he had miscast the spell when Colin took a selfie with the Doombot, his arm now around the neck of the bot.
He ordered up a special treat for his guest, a food bar that Colin ate. That should have been enough knock-out juice to keep him asleep for a week, Doom thought, as he put him back on the table. He went to his monitor again to see the results and saw… nothing. Turning, he wasn't surprised to see Colin behind him, smiling and taking his picture. FWOOSH!
He ordered Colin to give him his arm so he could take some blood. Colin did so, and soon Doom thought he had the upper hand until he went to find a vein. It took a few minutes and Doom put the needle in. He extracted a vial of blood and grinned in triumph. He put it under a microscope to see if there were any oddities before he did further testing only to see the blood evaporate before his eyes. He checked the tube. Sure enough, it was empty. Colin took his picture while talking about Harry.
Doom knew he was going to have to think more on this.
"Boy! You will be put in a room until I have need for you again!" With that, he instructed a Doombot to take Colin away and put him in a dungeon while he went to his room to think more on this.
Day 2 started on a note that Doom had been expecting. Somehow the wizard Potter got a hold of his private AOL account and sent him an email. It stated:
Doom – let me know when you want to return Colin. HP
No threats, Doom mused. His defenses must be working if it is keeping that Harry Potter away from retrieving his compatriot.
Doom smirked. He knew it would be only a matter of time to find out these wizards' secret.
FWOOSH!
Blast it! How did that wizard get out of the dungeon the Doombots had put him in?
Across the country, in Scotland, Ororo Munroe looked at her friend. "You sent Doom a message?"
"Yep."
"That's all?"
"Yep."
A moment went by. "I don't understand this. You jump into action at much less. Why not go and rescue this other wizard, Colin?"
Harry smirked at some hidden knowledge and replied, "Because I know Colin."
Day 3 started with Dr. Doom on his throne. Granted it was porcelain and had water in the bottom of it and a handle on the tank, but it was his throne. He was reading a leading periodical on robot creation: Starlog.
FWOOSH!
"What the…?" Doom shouted, looking up and seeing Colin pointing his camera out of the Monarch Rain Drip system, past the sheets covering the tub.
"It's a natural shot, Mr. Doom!" Colin greeted. "There was this time when I was in the Gryffindor tower and had to sneak my way to the girl's showers, which wasn't easy even if Harry was helping me…"
Day 4 was a bright and sunny day. Doom had erected magical barriers around his throne room and made sure to look in the Monarch Rain Drip system area for anyone hiding there. He was relieved no one else was there when he relieved himself.
Later, he had a Doombot bring up Colin to his lab.
This, of course, was the start of the day's problems.
"Where is the boy, robot?" Doom commanded at the Doombot that entered the room sans Colin.
"Male subject not in cell, exalted one," it replied.
"Oh Mr. Doom!" came that joyful voice behind Doom. He knew he wasn't going to like it.
He turned and fate proved him right.
Colin was standing next to the exam table, this time with a spare set of Doom armor in his hands.
No, not quite a spare set.
This one was shaped like a woman.
"Hi, Doomy," a falsetto voice came from Colin as he manipulated the head of the armor. "I thought you were lonely so I'm here to brighten your day."
Doom was at a loss for words.
Day 5 started with Dr. Doom giving Colin a present. Granted, he wasn't one to wrap a present much, but he still tried.
Colin opened the newspaper-wrapped box.
"What it is?" Colin grinned.
Dr. Doom smoothly replied, "It's a cow bell. I hear you young people like to wear it around your necks these days."
Day 6 started off early with Doom standing in a pentagram, chanting up a storm.
This was going to do it, he just knew it. Those wizard secrets would be his!
Of course, this woke Colin up from his slumber in the dungeon, and he quickly made his way up to the courtyard in time to see Doom chant next to a bonfire.
FWOOSH! The picture was taken.
Doom knew he would beat this young boy. He could take as many pictures as he wanted. Nothing would stop him now.
Colin listened for another few seconds and then started singing along with the chanting.
"Take the last train to Clarksville,
And I'll meet you at the station.
You can be there by four thirty,
'Cause I made your reservation.
Don't be slow, oh, no, no, no!
Oh, no, no, no!"
He was no singer, and it showed as Doom got distracted and messed up a verse in the chant in order to sing along with "Last Train to Clarksville" by the Monkees.
He stopped moving around the pentagram.
He had failed in this attempt.
He looked down.
The cow bell was now around Doom's neck.
Day 7 did not start off well. Colin was in the lab with Dr. Doom, who had grown frustrated at not having any luck with this young wizard.
FWOOSH!
Blast it, that was the last straw!
An irate Dr. Doom turned and shot off a killing spell towards Colin.
The blue-ish/purple spell crossed the couple meters in an instant and hit Colin, enveloping him in its lethal fury.
The moment froze.
Then…
Colin raised his camera and took a picture of Doom's expression (as it were), saying, "Great shot, Mr. Doom!"
How did he survive… Doom's mind ran over scenarios of how to survive that spell but didn't come up with any.
By Day 8, Doom had finally had enough. He sat at his Commodore computer and started up his system, waiting for the modem to connect at its blazing speed of 28.8.
Once up, he composed a message.
Potter. You win. This wizard is yours. He will be in my courtyard at noon for you pick him up. Dr. Doom – King.
Message sent, he looked around at the mess Colin had made of his devices. Ash, crumbled wires, bits of metal and plastic. He shook his head.
A short while later, Doom took Colin out to courtyard and they waited for noon to come. A legion of Doombots were all pointing guns towards Colin. "Wow, Mr. Doom! That's a lot of robots. Say, did I ever tell you about the time Harry asked me about golems?"
A nervous tick started above Doom's left eye.
A helicopter in the distance took shape.
Soon, Doom thought. Soon, all would be better.
His defenses down, the helicopter was joined by three more helicopters, and the first one landed. Out jumped several individuals with guns pointed at Doom.
Two individuals ran forward and grabbed an un-protesting Colin and started dragging him off to the helicopter.
Doom watched impassively.
"We have him, leader!" radioed the first man. "Yes. He is onboard. Hail Hydra!"
Doom still watched impassively.
The helicopter rose, one guard still on the ground, his weapon trained on Doom.
The aircraft all flew away.
Silence.
"The exit is over there," Doom indicated a wooden door.
The human guard ran to the door and pushed.
"Pull it open, you imbecile!" Doom yelled.
He did so and ran off.
"Good help is so hard to find," Doom groused as he returned to his lab.
He stopped when he saw Potter in the lab, looking at something on a desk.
"Where's Colin?" Harry asked innocently, looking Dr. Doom in the eyes.
"About 30 kilometers from here moving quickly. If I had to guess, he was taken by a terrorist organization by the name of Hydra." Suckers.
Harry clicked his tongue, scratched his nose, and said, "I was going to ask what you wanted him for, but I think the better question would be, what did you do to him, you perv?"
To Doom's dismay, Potter levitated up the female Doom armor that was hidden behind a file cabinet.
"That's not mine. I swear it."
"A likely story," Harry noted. "You despots are all the same."
Harry Potter didn't stay long, Doom was glad. Potter looked around the lab some more, saw the pictures of Doom and Colin on the desk and then waved his hand and teleported away, probably going after those Hydra members.
Doom smiled. All was right again with the world.
"Doomy?" a voice called after him.
Slowly, he turned his head and saw the female armor animated once again, coming his way while swishing its hips.
"Oh no," Doom started.
FWOOSH!
Panicked, Doom turned around to see a smaller version of Doom armor, looking like Colin in the face and having metal hair, walking around taking pictures. "Wow, Mr. Doom! This place is great! Are you and Mrs. Doom going to kiss? Want me to take a picture of that?"
Doom almost cried. He settled for his nervous tick spreading to both eyes. "My life sucks…"
{-10-}
Fred, George and Blaise all put the story down and looked at an anxious Potter.
"You win," Fred said simply.
George supplied, "You have too much time on your hands, Harry."
Harry grinned. "Blame it on the damn hologram teaching History. We really need to talk to the programmers to tweak the audio files. It's all I can do to stay awake in that class."
Blaise chuckled and shook his head. Only Harry could come up with something that outlandish.
"Now about that prank you owe me, how about a certain device I'm thinking of…"
{-10-}
Steve2 Note: I will give a shout out to the first person who can tell me where this story should have taken place. It was originally written as an omake for a certain story (which is a very large story with 20+ chapters right now) and the author thought it wasn't appropriate for his story since his is more serious and mine is humorous. Still, I hated to waste an omake so here it is. More of my other omakes to come! Not like this one though.
There was one additional item for this chapter. This "omake" was originally planned as the first of three short stories that I envisioned. Would you like to read the others? If so, let me know and I will work on them. They have not yet been created. But it does include more members of Harry's current and future posse. And I will also have to find a place to put them in. Grins.
And now a final question to all the readers: what should the prank be? Put on your thinking caps, folks! Best idea may be included later on.
Read and Review, please! Smiles!
Steve2
