All of Me

Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I only own Jess. This stuff didn't happen. And life continues on…


A/N: I still have my one faithful reviewer JoMode...you're the best! Hope you guys are enjoying this! Love you! XoXoXo


The next morning, Jess was up and dressed by 7:00. She was confident that Jon would be sleeping for at least a few more hours, especially judging from his condition when he had come back to their room the night before. She packed her stuff because they were supposed to be leaving before noon. She also packed Jon's things because she knew that he would be running behind schedule, as he slept his drunkenness off.

Jess went down to the hotel gym, in her yoga pants, sports bra, and hoodie. Her hair was in a high ponytail. She took her hoodie off and dropped it on the floor, next to her water bottle. She put her earbuds in her ears and let her iPod drown out any outside noise. She began jogging on the machine, trying to clear her head of any and all problems that were running through her head and weighing heavily on her shoulders.

After a brisk thirty minute run, Jess was ready to move onto some of the weight machines. She turned and managed to crash right into Stu's chest. She stumbled back. He caught her before she could fall. She pulled her earbuds out of her ears.

"Sorry, Stu," she mumbled, before walking around him.

"How are you?" he questioned, trying to make conversation, as he followed her through the gym.

"Fine," she simply answered.

"What's with the attitude?"

"What attitude?"

"Jess, come on. What's going on?" he asked, stepping in front of her.

"What do you mean? I'm trying to work out," she replied.

"Obviously, but you seem like you're trying to ignore me. We obviously have some unfinished business," he reminded her.

"Someone can walk in here at any minute. We need to move this along. I'll text you later or something. Okay? Can we just drop this for now? I don't have the capacity to deal with all of it right now."

Stu nodded. "Alright," he agreed. "You look good."

Rolling her eyes, Jess ignored the compliment. Stu got in the treadmill to warm up, while Jess replaced the earbuds in her ears and went back to focusing on her workout. He had a really difficult time keeping his eyes off of her. But no longer had a choice, once the gym gained some more occupants.


The four members of The Shield were in the rented SUV, on their way to the next venue. It was still going to be a few hours until they got there. Jon was badly hung-over and had to sit in the passenger's seat. Jess sat in the very back row of the Ford Explorer with Colby in the middle row. Joe was driving. Jess wasn't speaking to Jon, which was abundantly clear to everyone. And Jon didn't have the capacity to deal with it for the time being.

She was laid out across her seat, when she decided to text Stu.

'Are you driving?' she asked him.

A few moments later, her phone received a response message. 'No. I'm in the front. Otunga is driving. You ready to talk to me?'

'I guess so. I'm sorry that I left the way I did last night. I just really freaked out when you said that to me.'

'I didn't mean to say it. I just blurted it out in the heat of the moment.'

'I just wasn't expecting it. And with the situation at hand, probably not the best thing for you to be saying to me.'

'I know. That's one of the things I need to keep inside of my head.'

'You don't mean that. You were just horny.'

'No. I meant it.'

'You barely know me. You can't love me.'

'I've loved you since the first moment that I saw you.'

'Stu, please, we're in relationships with other people.'

'I know.'

'We shouldn't be doing this.'

'But we have something that doesn't come around very often. We have something really special here.'

'I know. But we can't hurt Jon or Tori.'

'We should be with each other.'

'I can't do this with you right now. I'm too stressed out. I can't have this conversation with you. And I don't mean just right now.'

'I'm sorry. I hope you know that I really do care about you.'

'I know you do. I do, too.'

'I know. I can see it in your eyes when you look at me.'

'Well, I hope no one else sees it.'

'I'm the only one looking at you the way you look at me.'

'Good.'

'I hope we can spend some time together soon.'

'I don't know if that's really a good idea.'

'Why not?'

'That's a stupid question. Jon and Tori, that's why.'

'So, you're telling me that you don't want to spend any time with me? Honestly? Because I find that hard to believe.'

'No. I do. It's just a difficult situation. Spending time with you the other night in the bar was great. I felt really comfortable and happy.'

'Good. I can promise you that I will always do what I can to make you happy.'

'Well, I do appreciate that. We'll see what happens.'


"Are you going to speak to me ever again?" Jon asked his girlfriend, as they got settled in the hotel room that they were sharing.

Jess shrugged as she brushed her hair.

"Babe, come on. Why are you so mad at me?"

She shrugged again, continuing to give her boyfriend the dreaded silent treatment.

"I'm trying here, Jess. Please, I know that I did something wrong. But help me figure it out. I don't know what I did to make you so mad at me."

She raised an eyebrow at him. "You kind of just ditched me and left me in our hotel room alone because you didn't think that it was necessary to tell me that you were going to spend your night partying and come back to the hotel smashed out of your mind and acting like a complete and total idiot. Do you get it now?" she finally spoke, her voice showing that she was still clearly angry with her boyfriend.

He nodded. "I do get it. I'm sorry. I should've told you. And when you were obviously very upset about it, I shouldn't have left. And when I came home, drunk, I shouldn't have made a scene and woken you up."

"Well…whatever…it's fine," she replied with a shrug.

"Obviously not. You said 'fine'. That means you're still pissed off with me. I'm not that stupid. I know your language."

"Well, if you weren't stupid, we wouldn't be having this discussion."

"I'm sorry, Jess. Really."

"It doesn't matter. Just forget it."

"No. I'm not gonna forget it. I hate fighting with you."

"There's just a lot going on in my life right now, Jon."

"I know, and I'm sorry for not showing you how important you are to me. And for not being there for you like you've needed me to be for over four years…and then, not making up for it when I finally have you with me."

"Well, it doesn't matter. Don't worry about it."

"No. I am worried. Really worried. You mean everything to me and more. I'm used to being able to be selfish on the road and go out whenever and drink and hang out with the guys and all of that shit. I know there are quite a few nights each week that you end up being on your own because I'm hanging out with the guys. I'm not there for you like I should be. Making the adjustment to living on the road isn't easy. I promise you that my intention has always been to do right by you. My execution isn't as consistent as it needs to be. That's completely my fault. And when I could see that you were having a hard time and weren't yourself, I should have stepped up to the plate and taken care of you. I need to put you first a lot more often than I do. I fucked up, Jess. And I'm really sorry," he apologized to her, his words dripping with sincerity.

She sat down on the edge of the bed and put her head in her hands, remaining silent. Jon hesitated for a few moments, unsure of what to do. He certainly didn't want to make the situation worse. He decided to sit next to her. Jon wrapped an arm around her shoulders. Pulling her against his body, Jon planted a kiss on his girlfriend's head.

"I love you so much, Jess. I love you more than anything in this world. I'm so sorry for hurting you."

Jess looked up at him, and he noticed the tears that had found their way out of her eyes. "I love you, Jon."

"Why are you crying?" he asked, feeling even more awful than he had before.

"I'm just going through a lot right now. It's overwhelming, and I just…I just don't know anymore."

"Don't know what?"

"If I should have come out here. I should have stayed home and stayed on the route that I was on."

"So, you'd rather not be on the road with me?"

"Honestly? It's a lot for me to handle, Jon. And I love being with you more than anything, but it isn't easy to live like this. It's a lot to deal with. I feel like I'm just interrupting your life by being here. You belong here. This is your thing. You're the wrestler. I'm just following you around like a lost puppy."

"So, then, we'll quit. We'll leave the road. We'll go home and have a normal life together in our apartment."

Jess slowly shook her head. "No, I can't let you do that. I just need some time to adjust to this life. It really has been what? A couple of months? It's hitting me now. And I'm just…going through a lot right now."

"What can I do to help you, babe?" he asked, sounding almost desperate to do right by his girlfriend.

"I don't know, John. I really don't."

Jon pulled her onto his lap. His arms were tightly wrapped around his girlfriend. "I'll do whatever you need me to. I know I really shit the bed this time. You've given up everything to come with me. And I haven't been very appreciative of you for doing this. But I'll fix it. It will all change now, baby."

She nodded and wrapped her arms around Jon, hoping more than anything that things really could go back to the way they were before.