Me: Well here's the next chapter!! During some of this I was listening to Skillet. I just started to listen to them so I only know about nine songs or so…heh. If you listen give me some of your favorites! Lolz XD
Hidan: It's not bad…
Me: WHOA YOU AGREED WITH ME AND DIDN'T CUSS!!!
Deidara: Is he broken or something?
Me: Maybe… Hey you know who should be here?
Deidara and Hidan: Who?
Me: *Pulls out Gaara* XD
Deidara: HELL NO!
Me: No one cares! Hi Gaara!
Gaara: …Hello…
Me: I go through Gaara fazes XD I think I might be entering one again…. (I'm hearing him in my head! Along with Itachi but that is a whole other matter)
Hidan: Just get on with the story!!!!
Me: Meanie…this is why I didn't get a plushie of you!!
Itachi: Yeah just me and the brat…
Deidara: Yeah but I'm bigger ^_^
All but me: O.o WTF do you mean by that??
Me: *Slaps them all* He means that his plushie is a foot tall while Itachi's is only a few inches or so! Sickos…ON WITH THE SHOW/STORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Recap:
My first night sleeping with full-out Akatsuki members in my house was pretty quiet. It's what happened in the span of the next few weeks that will leave me almost fully drained of everything that I have.
The next day wasn't all that eventful. Mason had to go home early so Chris didn't come over.
For breakfast I had just enough poptarts for them all to have one each. I'll be running out of food pretty quickly at this rate…
After that we decided that they all needed showers…oh how interesting that was. We had to teach them how to use and let them all go first so that Alex and I wouldn't use up all the hot water—hot water turns them human, cold or anything that's not at least warm will turn them into cats.
Luckily we had enough hot water for them all to take hot showers even though they were using both showers—mine and my mom's, and my dad's.
Remind me later to call the water company to tell them to give this house more hot water. Since ten people had to take hot showers there wasn't any hot water left for Alex and me! Though I must say that they all smelled a lot better.
After that they said that they wanted to go outside. I decided to just let them out into my backyard—who would see them there?
Pein asked if anyone would see them training back there. I told him that as long as they didn't use any ninjutsu or genjutsu they'd be ok. It would probably be good if they didn't use any weapons either, though they didn't have any since those were with their clothes back in the Naruto world.
Since Alex and I didn't know anything about taijutsu we sat it out in the beginning—we read warriors books like the dorks we are while we watched them, we felt like mothers. I say the beginning because when I looked over to Alex to ask her something or other about Jaypaw—third series, BOOYA!—I saw that she wasn't there. I figured she just went to the bathroom or something until I looked over at everyone and saw that she was being taught taijutsu…by Itachi!
I felt my mouth hang open as I stared. She was without a doubt the clumsiest person I knew. Just watching her flailing about while she tried to hit and dodge Itachi was entertainment alone. Of course I only laughed harder when Itachi went behind her to show her how to hold her hands and such and she blushed like mad.
Since I was dying of laughter I didn't notice that someone had sat down in the seat that Alex once occupied. So it goes without saying that when I heard a voice I was a bit startled.
"Enjoying yourself, hm?"
"GAH NINJA!!" I jumped and turned to see Deidara smirking at my surprise. I swear I will get back at all of them for scaring the crap out of me whenever they could!
"Yes I am a ninja, and it looks like your friend is trying to learn some stuff, yeah" he laughed. "I haven't known Itachi too long, but I do know that that isn't something you'd see him ever doing, un."
I smiled, "I think that Alex could die happy now."
"Oh is that so?"
"Yeah, I'm pretty sure that you and everyone here have figured out by now that Itachi is her favorite."
"It's not that hard to see, yeah."
We were quiet for a minute. It was an awkward silence.
"Gay baby was born." I said suddenly.
He gave me a look of what-the-fuck-is-wrong-with-you?
"Whenever there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born. Well that's what my friends say. I guess that whoever came up with it just made it up to break the awkward silences…." I explained.
"This world sure is an odd one, un."
"HA! Dude you all haven't even gotten a glimpse of half the shit that happens in America alone! 'Course I bet we're one of the most messed up countries out there…."
"Oh, why's that, yeah?"
"Well how about I just turn on the news tonight along with Entertainment Tonight and Extra? Then you will know." I stared ahead. "Though Entertainment Tonight and Extra pretty much have the same stories. They're all about celebrities anyways but it would definitely show you all a piece of American culture. Then there's the news…ha! Wait until you hear about the war going on right now!! I have to say that sometimes I think that your world is much more peaceful than here."
Deidara only stared at me. It was quiet for a few minutes; we were both left with our own thoughts as we watched everyone. It amazed me to watch them hit and dodge with such accuracy. I mean, sure, I see this stuff all the time in movies and anime, but that's all coordinated or animated. This is real and right in front of me, that and I've never seen people 'fight' unless it was at school and that's when people really want to cause harm.
"Do you want to learn, un?"
I tore my eyes from everyone to see Deidara looking at me with a blank expression, "W-What?"
He rolled his eyes, "Do you want to learn some of the basics, too, yeah?"
I couldn't believe my ears. First the Akatsuki show up in my house, then Deidara says he likes me, and then tries to kiss me, and then he asks if I want to learn taijutsu. It would be a lie to say I wasn't excited to learn this. I nodded my head hesitantly, "S-Sure, but I have to warn you that I don't think I could throw a decent punch to save my life." I stood up.
He got up too and led me to a part of my backyard that wasn't really being used—I have a small backyard, "I wouldn't have thought that; not after the way you hit Hidan and Mason."
I looked at the ground, "Those were just adrenaline rushes. If I were to try and hit any of you now I'd never hit."
"Let's see about that, hm" he took a step back and put his hands on his hips, "Hit me."
"Excuse me?"
"You heard me, yeah. Hit me."
"Umm o-ok?" I hesitated for a minute before pulling back my fist and letting it fly towards his chest.
Before it even made contact he grabbed it. "Too slow." He smirked.
I glared, "Well that's because you have freaky ninja reflexes and I barely even have decent hand-eye coordination!"
"Well that's just going to have to be something that we'll have to work on, yeah?"
I smirked now as well, "Yeah I guess so." My smirk fell, though, when I realized that he still had my fist in his hand. "U-uhh, D-Deidara…?"
"Hmm? What is it?"
"Do you t-think you c-could let go of my hand…?" I stuttered like a fangirl and I could feel a bit of warmth ghost over my face.
He looked down at our hands and immediately dropped it, "Oh sorry." We stood there a little longer before he spoke again, "About yesterday, I'm sorry—"
"It's fine. Really. Let's just get back to me trying to knock out your teeth ok?" I grinned trying desperately to avoid another gay baby being born…
After about half an hour of training Alex and I were both about to collapse whereas everyone else didn't seem the least bit worn out. But that's what you get when you aren't physically active, ever.
I pulled myself over to chairs just outside the sliding glass door panting.
"You can't be that tired yet, un." Deidara laughed.
"Well excuse me for not ever doing anything in P.E!" I shot back as Alex made her way over with Itachi as well.
"You did well for your first lesson, Alex." Itachi said while they walked over.
"Even though I'm almost dead! Not to mention I feel like I just jumped into a pool I'm swearing so much."
I laughed at her. Alex and I didn't mind the sweating or anything like that; we just loved to make fun of ourselves like that. Since tomorrow we'll probably be in the worst pain ever from this we'll be laughing about it all day.
"Oh shut up Abby! You aren't any better. Go get me some water before I'm forced to drink my own sweat!" Alex said as she sat down.
"Well you do have enough, and why do I have to get it? I'm just as tired as you."
"One: It's your house and I'm the guest and Two: what do you mean? You trained too today?"
I face palmed, "Alex look at me! I can barely breathe or move just like you."
Alex turned her head to look at me and laughed, "Sorry. So I'm guessing Deidara helped you?"
I smirked, "Yeah just like Itachi helped you. Are you sure that your face isn't red from the heat and not training with Itachi?"
"Oh shut up! I saw you and Deidara when you first went out there. What is it with you two and accidentally holding the other's hand too long? Odd I guess." For some reason whenever we had these arguments the boys never heard us.
"You know I'd Gibbs-Slap you if I wasn't about to die."
"Just go get us some water before we die!"
I sighed and got up, "Keep your eyes on all of them!" With that I went into the house oblivious to what Hidan was doing and the fact that my next door neighbor had entered her backyard. Walking into the kitchen and going out into the garage to get some water I was starting to feel like my legs were going to fall off. I got out two water bottles and drank one of them before I even closed the door then grabbed another. Drinking that one as well I let my mind wander.
Geez it was only half an hour but I wouldn't have even agreed to learn if I knew you could do so much in just that amount of time!
Yeah that was more than you do in one week of gym! How do they do it?!
Well they train their bodies to be able to do that and they do it every day. They're used to it.
But did he have to train us so hard?
What are you complaining about? You don't even have a body!
I still feel what our body feels!!
Oh so if I were to hurt myself you'd feel it too?
Yes but don't go all masochist on me!
I shall try my best.
I walked back into the kitchen with two full water bottles—for Alex—and one half empty one—for me.
I put them on the counter and leaned on it for a minute when I heard the door slide open and figured that Alex was getting impatient so she finally got up and came in herself, but when I looked up—I could see the sliding door from the kitchen—I saw Tobi running over to me instead.
"ABBY-CHAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!!!!" He said as he glomped me.
"Argh! Tobi don't crush me! What's up, where's the fire??"
"ABBY-CHAN THERE'S A SCARY LADY OUTSIDE YELLING AT HIDAN!!!"
"What? What are you talking about Tobi?" That's when he finally let go and I looked out the window to the back yard to see Ms. Ingrid yelling at Hidan. I couldn't hear her but I sure as hell could hear Hidan and his cussing. He was saying something about Jashin. I looked at the ground to see that it had some circle on it and when I looked closer at Hidan I saw that he was bleeding.
He had done some sort of ritual where I'm guessing he didn't need a sacrifice, and Ms. Ingrid caught him. Now I wasn't worried about her seeing them because she's so insane no one would ever believe her about this, but all their yelling could attract others.
Not only that, but Ms. Ingrid one of the most religious people ever! If anyone so much as said anything that didn't have to do with Christianity she'd go on a rampage.
And Hidan sure as butterscotch wasn't going to listen to her bashing his religion.
I opened the window by sliding one of the glass plates aside and yelled through the screen, "HIDAN YOU BETTER GET YOUR BIG FAT ASS OVER HERE RIGHT NOW OR SO HELP ME I WILL LOCK YOU IN A CLOSET WITH THE BARNEY SONG PLAYING ON REPEAT!!"
Everyone stopped and looked over at me.
"Why the fuck should I??" Hidan said turning towards me trying to be intimidating.
"Just get over here right now!" I shot back not affected at all by him.
He looked over to Pein who just nodded and made his way to the window ducking under the shutters to stare at me, "What?"
"Look she is a senile old bat who will not listen to anyone who isn't going to talk to her about her religion!"
"Oh and what would that be? Stupidity?"
"No and she follows the same as Alex and I, so please trust me, don't piss off a diehard Christian! You may be immortal but they will make your life a living hell…especially if you're gay." I twitched at that. The poor gay people…they don't deserve it! Oops off topic.
"You follow the same religion as that old bitch?"
"Yes now please just ignore her. I'll come out and talk to her ok?"
"Tch, whatever, I don't think anyone could reason with her."
I rolled my eyes, grabbed the water bottles, went outside, threw two at Alex, gave mine to Deidara and told him to hold my water until I was done talking to the lady, walked over to Ms. Ingrid and said, "I'm sorry about my friend. He's very religious like you."
"Well he's following the wrong one!!" I swear I've never heard someone as adamant about religion as this woman right here. She will bluntly say that someone is following the wrong religion and will burn in hell, no matter who it is.
"Ma'am please, no matter what you say to him he won't change, just like you."
"He will burn in hell! You all will!!"
"Ms. Ingrid please just go back inside and get out of this heat. It can't be good for you."
"If it's so hot out then why are you all out here fighting each other??"
Oh did I mention that she likes to spy on her neighbors? Well she does.
"Ms. Ingrid it is for a school project. We have to rehearse a fight for a project on feudal era ninjas in Japan. We can't do this inside and it's due tomorrow."
"Hmph you should have done it earlier! That way you wouldn't be stressing over it now!"
I sighed, "Yes you're right now could you please go back inside?"
She didn't even say anything as she made her way back into her house. It was just too easy to do distract her from the main topic.
After that we let them train a bit longer before we all went inside. Alex and I had to take showers again though.
After taking quick showers and changing clothes Alex and I joined the rest of them in the living room.
We sat there for a few minutes before someone broke the silence, "Tobi's bored!"
"Then how about we fucking chop off your head! Jashin-sama needs a sacrifice!!" Hidan barked at Tobi.
Tobi coward behind Zetsu, "TOBI DOESN'T WANT TO DIE!!!"
"You may not want to but we sure as hell want you to," Kisame said.
"Oh be nice to the poor kid." I said.
"Kid? Abby don't you remember that he's really—"
I cut Alex off, "Alex, do I have to get the duct tape again?"
"NOO! NOT THE QUACK QUACK TAPE!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Good! But we still haven't solved our bored problem…"
We all sat there for a few minutes when Alex got up and went into the kitchen. When she came back she had the big knife with her….
WHOA WTF IS SHE DOING???
Nobody but me saw her as she walked right over to Hidan who was in my dad's recliner facing away from the kitchen. She pulled back her weapon and stabbed, hard.
"OW WHAT THE FUCKING HELL THAT FUCKING HURTS BITCH!!!!!! GAAAH!!!!!!!!" Well…now we know that he really is immortal, "WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR??!!"
She smiled sweetly as she pulled out the blood coated knife, "I wanted to see if you were immortal, duh!" Well, we aren't bored now.
"AND IF I WASN'T????"
"It would have been a lot quieter…"
"BITCH I'LL KILL YOU!!!!!" Before he even had the chance to lunge Kakuzu grabbed his shoulders and Itachi came between them. Hidan struggled to get out of Kakuzu's grip and past Itachi who was doing very well holding his own against the immortal. I couldn't help but smile thought at the fact that Itachi was trying to protect Alex—so sweet—and the fact that while she was inches from death, Alex stood there staring at the blood soaked knife. Why? I have no idea what so ever!
Eventually Itachi just let out a long sigh and murmured, "Tsukyomi…"
Instantly Hidan's eyes glazed over and he fell limp in Kakuzu's arms. Itachi reached out and helped lay him on the ground. Thank Kami that I had Parquet floors and not carpet…. Alex is still cleaning all of it up though.
"Alex?" I said.
"Yeah?"
"Why?"
"Boredom."
"You're cleaning it up."
"WHAT??"
"Hey you stabbed him, you clean!"
"Ugh! Fine, fine!"
I sat back with a satisfied smile as she went out to the kitchen and got paper towels, 409, and bandages for our injured man. MAN DOWN!!
Hidan finally woke up after about 20 minutes and the blood was all gone. He was still pissed at Alex but he let it go. No one ever wants to go back into Itachi's Tsukyomi.
Some of them started to complain of being hungry. I went out into the kitchen and started to cook.
After I fed them all ramen—I was surprised I had enough—Kisame noticed my Guitar Hero: World Tour stuff.
"What the hell is that?" He said as he pointed to the drums.
I laughed—which caused pain in my abdomen from the training, "Oh that's just a game. Trust me I don't think any of you could really play it yet. You all may be shinobi, but you have to know technical stuff to be able to play that, and have mad skills like me!"
"Skills? You've barely mastered medium on the guitar and you're still on beginner for the drums!" Alex said.
"Yes but I'm expert on the singing! Odd…I suck!"
"Trust me you don't suck. Why do you think I haven't asked you to join band???"
"Because you quit…?"
"Trust me, you can sing, and I can't."
I swear my friends are deaf! "You know you can sing too!!"
"What are you talking about?! My mom constantly yells at me to 'Stop that noise! You'll attract vultures with that dying animal noise!' I can't sing."
I rolled my eyes, "Your mom thinks that every singer sounds like a dying animal! You can sing."
"Can we just drop the subject already??"
"Fine by me."
"Do they ever stop talking?" Kakuzu said.
"If they do I want to know when they fucking will!" Hidan replied.
"I think they're only quiet when they're asleep." Zetsu said.
"Ha! This girl here talked in her sleep all last night!" Kisame said petting Alex on the head. She, in turn, tried to bite off his finger. She failed.
"I do not talk in my sleep!" Alex shot back.
"Trust me, you do, hn." Itachi said. "You were going on, and on about green monkeys that will take over the world."
"YOU BELIEVE THEY WILL TOO???"
Itachi sweat dropped.
"That's nothing compared to her late night talking." Sasori said pointing at me.
"What…?" I was afraid what they might have heard.
Sasori shook his head, "You didn't talk about just green monkeys, you talked about flying green monkeys that shoot sausage out of their eyes and have bad income. Where the hell did that last one come from anyways?!"
"What the hell is wrong with this fucking world???" Hidan said.
"Like I told Deidara earlier, just watch World News Tonight and you will know." I said.
"So true," Alex put in.
After Hidan insulting our world a little more they all started asking about Guitar Hero again so Alex and I gave in and we let them play. Of course Alex and I played first to show them how it's done.
Since she's way better on the drums than me and I'm just a bit better on the guitar than her—she always practices on the drums and I always practice on the guitar—she took the drums while I took the guitar.
We played What I've done, Misery Business, and Living on a Prayer.
After that we gave them some easy songs. The only people to even do anywhere near good were Itachi, Sasori, and Tobi. I have no clue how they did good; they were probably just naturals or something. Of course they really only did good on the singing…we made Itachi sing The One I Love by R.E.M. I was the only one to see Itachi and Alex glance at each other.
I have no idea what so ever of how or why Itachi already likes her!! Maybe it's one of those 'Love-at-first-sight' things…. I hope so for Alex. That would be really awesome for her!
We actually played that for two hours. When you rock out to the oldies, you tend to lose track of time, especially when you're in the background singing along to Crazy Train and everyone looks at you like you're insane.
By then it was about time for dinner. I went out into the kitchen and saw that we had leftover stuff. Huh, wonder how I missed that before….
There was actually enough for everyone, but just barely.
It was some roast that my dad had made before he left. I loved his cooking! It was nummy in my tummy!
After dinner I forced them to watch Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End. They complained for a little while, but Alex and I finally made them sit down and watch the damn thing!
This time I wasn't sitting under Deidara though; I was sitting next to him on couch. I think that Alex planned for that! She was on my other side with Itachi next to her, I didn't fail to notice that Konan and Pein were sitting near each other too.
Once again Alex and I quoted stuff, and once again everyone asked if it was really necessary. We told them that it was.
This time, though, at the end of the movie I wasn't the one in the embarrassing position; Alex was. Sure I was kinda leaning against Deidara using him as a pillow again, making both of us blush when I finally realized and got up muttering a quiet 'sorry'—it may have only been around nine, but we were beat from the training—but Alex was pretty much using Itachi's lap as her pillow. I hadn't noticed until then that her feet were in my lap—she was laying length wise on the couch.
Now it was my turn to laugh at her, but being the nice person I was I woke her up after we all had a good laugh about it. I could see in the dim light that she was blushing a lot.
"Time for bed Alex," I told her.
She nodded, got up, and ran into my mom's room to change with Kisame and Hidan roaring with laughter in the background.
I got up too, "Ok well I'll go get changed as well. You all try not to kill each other while we're gone, ok?" I was in and out of my room in no time.
Everyone went into their respective rooms. I went over and set my alarm—since tomorrow was Monday—crawled into my bed, "Night you two!" I said before I turned off the light. I'll just explain how we have to go to school to them tomorrow.
I was asleep before my head hit the pillow but I could have sworn that I heard a quiet 'Night' before I became unconscious.
Compared to what happened yesterday today was pretty uneventful.
Pein may have told us not to tell anyone that they're here, but I know a few friends at school that would just love to hear all of this. Yes sir tomorrow will be very interesting.
Me: Ok well my friends are coming over and will be here awhile, so don't expect an update until next week at the latest and at the earliest this weekend! I know, this was really just a filler chapter :T. Well! I will be thinking about what I should do for this while I'm driving to get my friends XD. They live about an hour and a half away -.-. Hopefully this other story that's swimming in my head won't interfere with that!
Hidan: One story at a time, baka!!
Me: Yeah, whatever!! Review people!!! Also! Random here but I was just thinking about it one day, how do Japanese and Chinese have spelling bees if they have around 4,000 characters in their alphabet??? Just wanted to make you all ponder that like I have been.
