A/N: I've been listening to a new Podcast called The Read. I need to mention that because a line in this story was inspired by it :)
"Sounds like you had a fantastic time today," Aiden said while stroking Rain's calf. The two had been exchanging details about their respective afternoon activities. Rain shared bits of her catch up session with Tricia and was waiting for the best time to bring up what she promised her friend: to inquire about Z.
Although she was living in her own quasi-fantasy world, she knew sooner or later she would have to add bits of reality and that included 1. Defining whatever was going on between her and her handsome co-star 2. Put an end to Carl's on-going obsession with hunting her down 3. Find out Aiden's status with his on again /off again chick and 4. Figure out if what they had was something that truly made sense to have now. Ok, so she wasn't ready to prioritize per se but at least everything she wanted to sort out was accounted for. Oh and there was also catching Maxine up on everything just so she wouldn't feel left out.
"Yeah. Man, I miss that girl. It's always so nice when you can catch up with old friends who seem to never forget a thing!" Rain said stifling the urge to straddle him and make out. She looked over to him and their eyes met. He leaned his body more into hers, his hand moving from the place on her calve and now over her thighs. His mind was in sync with hers; for the whole morning his mind was occupied with visions of her, of them just being. He was surprised how much he missed her, her smile that morning and her raspy morning voice. So when he saw her looking at him the way she was he knew she was thinking the same thing and instantaneously they both attacked each other with sloppy kisses, not caring where or how they landed on each other's mouths.
Aiden tried to steady Rain's head but she fought as she tried angling his to get a better feel for where her lips fell. She managed to stick her tongue in his mouth, aggressively deepening the kiss until she felt satisfied. His tongue massaged hers as best as it could, Aiden felt himself become immediately turned on; he pulled her head in towards his more so that he could extend their kiss. Her hands danced around his back, moving up and down and not finding a place to relax, their breathing became stagnant as they tried guessing what the other had planned to do next, Aiden began to harden, he did his best to fend it off but the heat between them made it almost impossible. He pushed himself onto her more so that he could let her feel what her actions had provoked. Aiden's hands travelled down the sides of her face, onto her neck and then with one hand proceeded to cup one of her breasts. Rain took her hands from his face and placed them on his chest, shoving him away lightly.
"Aiden, Aiden wait. wait." Rain said in between breathes. "Sorry, it's just. Sorry."
"What are you apologizing for?" Aiden questioned, his eyes filled with confusion.
"Nothing, it's just. I don't know, it's just. Maybe we should slow some things down." Rain said, the last part of her words drifting into a more quiet tone of regret.
"Slow things down? What do you mean?" Aiden asked growing more confused. Rain stood up causing his body to awkwardly take up the space of where she once lounged.
"Gosh, I'm so sorry, I didn't..." she failed to find the right words. She looked at him and saw the mixture of confusion and panic on his face. "No, it's not like that. I just. I just think perhaps we should, calm down a bit. The tour I mean...we should be focusing on that more. What we're doing now...Aiden, what exactly are we doing?" She finally got out.
"What do you mean what are we doing?" Aiden began to stand up. He walked up to her, looking into her eyes searching for the reason that off-set her words. "Rain, what's wrong?"
"Nothing. Nothing's wrong." Aiden grabbed Rain's hand and pulled her closer; he stretched his other so that it lay lightly on her shoulder.
"Don't say that, something's not right. Talk to me, Rain. What's up?"
"Aiden," Rain spoke up nodding her head apologetically while unhinging her fingers from his grasp, in response he peeled his other hand from her shoulder. "I don't want to upset you or cause any alarm but I've been thinking...and maybe it's my fault for throwing myself at you the way I did that night but...gosh what am I trying to say? I guess, Aiden," Rain said searching in his eyes, "I don't even know where you stand."
"Where I stand? I thought that was obvious. I'm crazy about you Rain, I have been for a long while now. Yes it has been hard, waiting, pretending, hoping...but my feelings for you have always been out there. Or I thought they were..."
"No, sorry. That's not what I meant..." Rain said cutting him off, she placed her hand on her forehead, rubbing it in frustration"
"Then how do you mean? I-I'm afraid don't understand. Do you, you don't feel the same way?" Aiden said trying to gain some clarity.
"NO! Sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you, it's my own damn fault I'm not being clear. I just..Aiden, I'm a single girl, I'm no longer committed to anyone but you. Your situation has always been...foggy. If you know what I mean. And that is kind of freaking me out because; before we did anything I should have gotten an absolute confirmation from you about your relationship status."
"You're talking about Zara." Aiden looked down searching for the words as if they were magically being formed on the ground.
"Yes. Why? Should I be talking about somebody else?" Rain asked in shock.
"No," Aiden smiled as a small giggle left his mouth. "Sorry. No. There is nobody else and me and Zara, truthfully? That's always been complicated."
"What the hell does that even mean?" Rain felt her emotions climbing through her body. Aiden saw the anger starting to build up in Rain's face and quickly changed his tone.
"What I mean by that is that there's always been this back and forth. To define a status would be impossible; she's broken up with me like four or five times without me even knowing. And so when it comes to us there isn't usually a sense of permanent ending until..."
"Aiden, what the fuck? What? What?" Rain turned around quickly, trying not to let her emotions override her sanity. She did not know what this boy was playing at but she was going to give him a total of three Caucasian seconds to get explain what he meant.
"Rain, I was trying to give you some background. Zara and I aren't together, honest. After Christmas I admit we tried to talk things out but where we are now in our lives. What I feel for you..."
"No, no do not blame any of what went on or isn't going on between you two based on your feelings for me. Don't do it." Rain snapped.
"Sorry. I'm not explaining myself properly." Aiden stated aimlessly trying to pull the right words together. Screw that, he was going to speak from his damn heart.
"Well I suggest you better," Rain said turning back around folding her arms. She saw his eyes widen, he genuinely looked frightened. But she wasn't about to let him off with those puppy dog eyes he was giving her.
"Rain," Aiden started, "What I am trying to say is that, I'm not with her, I'm not with anyone," he looked at her bowing his head slightly, "unless, we...I told her that I couldn't do that anymore. It wasn't a good idea. What I said was all true, my behaviour and desperation was all for a purpose. And part of that purpose was to expand my life to something that was honest and true to myself and whoever else I longed to be with. I never wanted it to get to that point and it was my own fault it did, I felt horrible and I apologized to her and to her family but I will never apologize for what was said because everything I said was true. How I went about saying it was a dick move but for what it's worth, what it has been worth I'm happy I did say what I did."
"Oh?" Rain said trying to make sense of it all. She felt herself beginning to analyze his approach. She thought back to his drunken outburst the night of their mutual friend's Christmas party.
Flash back to Harry's Christmas Party - December 2013
Admittedly the night started off messy. Rain pre-gamed with her close girlfriends, she decided to let loose and have fun now dealing with her newly single status. Her girls gathered at her place and dared one another to take a shot each time mention or discussion of men came up. Rain having freshly come off of her relationship was losing that game real quick.
Two glasses of wine and three shots later, Rain was dancing and singing like nobody was watching. Her lose curls bounced as she dug into the words of the chorus as she shouted the words to Flawless; she decided that would be her motto for the night. At news that their ride had arrived, Rain gave herself a last minute glance in the mirror and smoothed out her knee-length black dress that clung to her body exposing her natural curves. She was happy to see that her lips were still stained with that bright red lipstick she treated herself to as an early Christmas gift, they matched the red soles of her black and gold-studded Christian Louboutins, also an early gift.
"Rain come on, I need to get dancing already!" Her friend Christine shouted. Rain walked as fast as she could to the limo, when she got in her friend handed her a glass of champagne as they all prepped for a toast. "To best friends, best loves, and best cries. No one does it like us sisters!" They cheersed and Rain smiled at Christine, she had been such a great ear over the past week, she'd definitely drink to that! When the girls arrived the place was already full with a crowd of people. Rain's friend Harry, who also happened to be a very good friend of Aiden held his annual Christmas party at his loft. It was an opportunity for everyone who was due to return home for Christmas break to offer their best wishes to those they would not see until 2014 rolled around.
The music was loud and the beats blaring made the night that much more epic, exactly what Rain hoped for before she headed home for Christmas. It wasn't long until another glass of champagne was in her hand; Rain realized how much she missed going out with the girls just having a great time and dancing, oh how she missed going out, letting loose and dancing. Her dance moves impressed those around her and it wasn't long until he spotted her from across the room. He spent the length of two songs just watching her, admiring as she freely expressed herself, rocking her body in time with the beat. He arrived with a few of his friends about a half an hour earlier; he knew Rain was due to come to the party so when he glanced around and didn't see her he decided to keep watch at the door. When he saw her walk in, he debated on whether or not to immediately go say 'hello' but knowing her news and her new life as a single girl he decided to wait and see how her demeanor was to get a feel before he approached. Aiden wasn't much of a dancer, unless he had liquor to help him along the way and anyway he much rather be entertained by the image of the girl he had develop such strong feelings for over the course of the year and found that, by standing back, sipping his scotch was ideal as he basked in her sheer enjoyment of the night. He considered many ways to approach her, see how she was doing, or perhaps even share a dance or a drink preferably the latter but he didn't mind standing there in the shadows to watch her.
"Hey, weirdo! Why didn't you answer my last text?" Zara said nearly startling her distracted boyfriend. "Whoa, what's up with you? Hahahaha, did I scare you, Aiden? Yes! I'm the best!" She laughed. Although she wasn't of age to drink she would usually find herself at events like these courtesy of knowing the right people, especially those who manned the doors. She knew good and well that she wouldn't be served drinks but since her and her friends knew how to circumvent situations like these they knew their best address to get their alcohol was back at their private bus; there liquor ran free and without fault.
"Zara! You're here...thought you decided to skip tonight." Aiden said sipping his scotch and searching for the image that had taken up his interest that night.
"We weren't but then we got bored and thought why not, you know." She said looking into her phone. "See. I texted you like three minutes ago telling you I was here. Why didn't you text back?" She inquired holding the phone up to his face forcing him to give up on his muse. Aiden used his one free hand to search for his when he finally found its shape in his back pocket.
"Ah, here it is," he volunteered waving it in her face. "Sorry, I thought you were having your spa night so were probably too in disposed for contact. Where are your friends?" he questioned looking around hoping to find any trace of Rain.
"Some here some in the bus. What are you looking for?" She questioned.
"Seeing where my friends went."
"Do you even want me here? You're being so mean to me." Zara whined.
"Mean? How? We've been talking for like not even a minute - how can I possibly be mean to you?"
"First of all you didn't answer my text. I'm mad at you; do you even want me here?"
"What in the...Zara, what's wrong?"
Occurrences like these weren't new to him. They usually happen at places Zara wasn't legally supposed to be at. He was fine not going most of the times but it was also nice to be in a place where you could be around people your own age, share a drink and just have fun.
"I know where I'm not wanted. Consider us over until I talk to you again. Look. I'm unfollowing you on everything online! See?" Zara said pointing her phone at him.
"Zara, don't be like that come on. Stay." Aiden tried to accommodate.
"Urgh, you don't even mean that, you're just saying that. Text me back when you grow up! I'm having a girls' night far away from you!" Zara ended sticking out her tongue at him. "Oh and Aiden..." she presented him with her middle finger and walked off.
Aiden wasn't able to count the many times she had done this to him. The first couple of times proved to be annoying as he could never weigh in on whether she was serious or not. The few times in between as they got to know each other became more of a joke but now, especially since she was well on her way to being out of her teenage years, it became overly annoying. The last time she had pulled that he called for a break to hopefully allow her to grow up a bit more. It really started to get on his nerves.
Aiden walked over to the bar and signalled for the bartender for another glass of scotch. With many thoughts going through his head as soon as he received his drink he made it over to his co-star, it was as if some magnetic pull brought him there. It took a while for Rain to notice him; she stumbled a bit but quickly gained her balance only when he helped her after falling against his chest.
"Thank you!" She screamed thinking he'd hear her perfectly over the loud music. "Aiden! MY favourite Aiden. Guys look, Aiden! Remember? We work together. Aiden, everybody, everybody Aiden." Rain said to get the introductions over quickly.
"Hey lovely, how are you doing? Whoa, steady. I take it very well?" He said catching her again when she stumbled.
"Yes, I am fine thank you. How are you? Are you here alone? Where's Zara?" Rain said throwing away all inhibition.
"Well, I'm doing very well thanks. A few of us are here actually, everybody seemed to disperse. I don't know where Zara is but according to her we've broken up." Aiden said widening his eyes at the last part. "It's this thing she does." He qualified.
"Must be in the air. Carl broke up with me a few nights ago," Rain said although she had already told him via text message and over a coffee meet up.
"Oh. I know. How are you with that?" Aiden questioned.
"Couldn't be happier, cheers!" Rain said clinking their glasses together. "You're looking suave tonight" she said catching him by surprise. Aiden looked down, he was dressed all in black with his hair pulled back so he saw nothing spectacular in his appearance.
"Thanks? It's nothing too crazy." He said smiling at her. She smiled back presenting her deep dimples. "What are you drinking? Let's fill you back up." He shouted.
"Trying to get me drunk are you?" She said suspiciously eyeing him playfully.
"I think you already beat me to it." He laughed pointing out her inability to control her balance. "On second thought, maybe we should try you on some water." He suggested.
"All work and no play makes Aiden a dull boy," she chirped. "I'm on that Cristal game tonight. Water can wait!" She ordered. He shrugged and started to walk away when she tugged on his arm, "I'm coming with," she said stumbling. "I trust you and all but you NEVER know." She said winking. "Hold on! Girls, Aiden and I will just be over here, look we're getting more drinzks." She said starting to slur her words. Her friends were happy to see her start to come into her own; Rain was a naturally reserved person so it was great to see her just let go at times.
"Ok you, sit here." Aiden said helping her onto a bar stool. "Stay" he said jokingly. Rain gave him a slight seductive look if only to tease him. That's when she heard her song. Nobody had the power of Rain breaking it down like Beyonce, as soon as she heard hints of Drunk in Love she knew it was over, there was no sitting and there was no staying. Before he could order she dragged Aiden to a less crowded area and began gyrating her hips to its slow beat. The album had come out nearly a week ago but she was hooked and it didn't take long for this song to gain her attention.
Aiden was at a loss of what to do, he never had somebody dance up on him the way Rain started to, his nights out were pretty subdue and limited to jumping up and down in large crowds. Rain slowed down some of her motions when the song called for it and picked them up with every hit of the beat. She had her back turned to him as she sunk down and slowly back up pushing her ass against his slowly stiffening penis. He did what came naturally and started to move it against her. The more he did so the more she answered by jerking her hips. He had forgotten where they were and just enjoyed her moving on him, she turned around and wrapped her hands around his neck all the while twisting herself into him. Aiden felt himself become hard, he never knew the power a single Rain had. She naturally oozed sexy but what they were engaged in now seemed to be dangerous but exciting, very exciting. Rain tightened her grip around his neck and started mouthing the words as she brought her face closer to his, Aiden didn't know if she was going to kiss him or not or if she wanted him to make the first move so he compromised and decided that the ball was in her court.
When the song ended Rain pulled him in close for a hug; he embraced her allowing himself to get lost in her scent, she smelled so good. They stood there for a few seconds, Aiden dropping his hands from her waist down to her ass and pulling her in so that he could feel her centre rest on his erection. Rain didn't seem to care, in her mind it felt good there, actually, she thought of many places it would feel good but she dare not even bring those thoughts to light, not tonight at least. Aiden found a wall and walked her backwards so that he had something to lean against, he felt that they must have looked suspect just hanging onto each other in the middle of the loft space.
"Interesting dance." He let out.
"I'm surprised," she returned. "I would have never guessed you had it in you, especially in front of all these people."
"The good thing about these parties is that nothing gets out, we're all here to be as bad as we want or as good as we want people to see." He dared.
"What do you know about being bad, Aiden?" She asked.
"What do I know about being bad? A lot."
"Such as?"
"Such as having my penis against you the way it is and not giving any fucks about it."
"That is pretty bad ass...anything else?" She asked teasingly as she bit down on her lip then brushing it lightly against his.
"Wanting to feel you up right now?" He continued.
"Um hmm" she moaned in his ears. Was she really doing this? And now? Aiden needed to control himself but with her it seemed as if he could do this all night.
"And wanting to stick this into you." He said pressing himself against her again.
"I could be down for that," she said as she began to nibble on his ear lobe. His mind quickly ran to Zara, shit. Shit, shit shit. With Rain nibbling on his ears he felt like making the biggest dick move ever. If he could reach into his back pocket, take out his phone and agree with Zara on their break up he could really get into whatever Rain was doing to him right now. He decided against it and instead pulled himself away from her slowly.
"Rain why are you being so naughty right now?" He thought the best approach was to charm them into more conversation and less physical activity.
"Isn't this what you want? Am I not what you want? What you need?" She asked looking into his eyes and lowering her hand so that it was rubbing his front. He moved his hands back up her ass and along her back and finally resting on her hips. Fuck she was so gorgeous, and the feel of her curves, fuck fuck fuck.
"Yes." Aiden answered immediately. Damn, where the hell did that come from he asked himself. "I've always wanted you. I've always needed you. Not a day went by since I've known you that I wanted nothing more than to be like this with you. You're everything. You're beyond gorgeous; you're so intelligent and funny. I more than want and need you, what I feel towards you is something I can shout for the whole world to hear!" he said without hesitation.
"Oh really?" She said coming back to some of her senses.
"Yes, watch!" He said unhooking his arms from her and making his way towards the DJ.
"The fuck?" Rain said quickly making her way to her friends. "Hey, can we go?!" she said trying to get everybody to leave.
"What's wrong?!" Christine asked.
"Nothing, I just don't feel well right now," She looked for Aiden and low and behold she saw him talking to the DJ. "Can we please go? Oh my goodness, he's really going to...oh my god, we HAVE TO LEAVE NOW!" She said becoming more nervous.
"Excuse me, excuse me!" Came the voice from the DJ booth, "Sorry. Merry Christmas everyone. My name's Aiden and I just wanted to say that tonight has officially become one of my favourite nights of the year. Rain, Rain baby, where are you? Oh there you are. Can we get a light on her please?" Rain felt mortified. She looked like a deer caught in headlights. Ever the professionally, she fixed her posture and nervously smiled at the crowd that was all looking at her.
"Rain, what's he doing?" One of her friends asked.
"Tonight I confessed to Rain what I have felt for her for a long while. Look how gorgeous and beautiful and just...god look at her. She's perfect. Her prick of an ex-boyfriend broke up with her recently and all I have to say is thank goodness. She is now free! Free from him and his possessive ways. No female should be treated that way." Rain's face dropped as anger took over, no humiliation. "Rain, I think you're above amazing. I know you've known for a while and so did he, probably why he's kept us away from each other but Rain, Rain look at me. Well, I can't see you to know if you're looking at me but I just have to say that you are what I want. You are what I need. I've got my eyes on you and I've had them there for a long long time. Yeah so, sorry for the anti-climatic speech but, there it is. I've said it and it's all true."
The drunken crowd started cheering, some strangers even randomly hugging Rain as some type of congratulations. Aiden ran towards her to find out her reaction, what he came to was a girl with tears in her eye, not the kind you see in movies where the girl and the guy are about to form as one but the kind that wished he was not in her eye sight, ever.
"I'm sorry." Was all he could offer. "Please Rain, what's wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong, Aiden. I just don't feel well is all. I probably should have taken that water." Rain said as she delicately dabbed the tears from her eyes. "We're gonna go now but thank you for tonight. Speak soon ok, hun?" She pulled him in for a hug and gave him a peck on his cheek. "Call you soon," she said smiling. Aiden felt the wet spot on the side of his face from her tear. He felt terrible. One of Rain's friends thanked him as they walked out mouthing, "give her time." Aiden nodded and thought that perhaps sending her a text apologizing once again would be in his best interest. He swiped his finger over the screen to unlock it when he saw he had a message from Zara. Probably one saying that she had added him back to everything and that they were cool again.
I knew it! I knew it! I'm unfollowing your life now.
The message read. A second one came through:
And I'm unfollowing Rain's Twitter and Instagram too.
Aiden knew one of her friends had most likely seen and heard everything. Perhaps he should go on stage again and correct his error from before and mark this night has being the worst of the year. Shit.
Back at Aiden's hotel room
"Oh. What oh?" Aiden asked grabbing her hand again. Rain looked at him and leaned her head to one side. She advanced towards him and stared at him. "What?" He asked.
"What do you want from me Aiden?" she asked.
"Do we have to do this now?" He blurted. She yanked her hand from his grip again.
"No, no we don't have to do this now. No we'll do it when Aiden is ready. How about that?" Rain said snapping at him.
"Rain, please don't be like that." He begged.
"Be like what? Like somebody who would like to know what exactly a person that she's shared her bed, her body and her bath with?" She spat.
"I want to be with you Rain. I want to be with you. I really want to be with you. No if ands or buts. I want us to be together. I want us to go back a year and for it to be us. Is that strange? Because that is what I want. I want us to be normal and for this to be normal. I want to show the world. That is what I want." Aiden finally let out.
"Oh." Was all Rain could offer.
"Ah, an 'oh' again." He said annoyed. "I can't have that can I?"
"Maybe you're right. Maybe we shouldn't have done this now." Rain back peddled.
"What do you want, Rain?" Aiden said ignoring what she had said. Rain looked at him. She grabbed him and kissed him. She didn't know what else to do. He joined her in their kiss he walked them over to the couch and sat her down slowly. Rain pushed away.
"I can't do this, I gotta go. We have our next interview in an hour and I need to freshen up." She ran to his door and didn't look back leaving Aiden feeling dumbfounded.
"What the fuck just happened?" he asked no one. Perfect. The thought, this is the exact sexual tension they needed before they went live on-air answering fan questions. He took up the pillow that fell to the ground, put it over his face and screamed into it.
