'The Chain'

Disclaimer: In its use of intellectual property and characters belonging to Stephenie Meyer, David Slayde, Wyck Godfrey, Greg Mooridian, Mark Morgan, Melissa Rosenberg, Summit Entertainment, Imprint Entertainment, Temple Hill Productions, Goldcrest Films, Maverick Films, Twilight Productions et cetera, this work is intended to be transformative commentary on the original. No profit is being made from this work. Any similarities to other fanfiction stories are completely coincidental.

Break the silence, damn the dark, damn the light
And if, you don't love me now
You will never love me again
I can still hear you saying
You would never break the chain
-Fleetwood Mac, 'The Chain'

"So what happens if you break all the bones in your body? When do you phase back after something like that happens?"

About a week of questions had gone by, and I was surprised that Seth hadn't collapsed with the sheer amount of talking we had managed to do. We were constantly together, whether it was at my house cooking dinner, his house making smoothies - Sue's fridge was now overflowing with different kinds of concoctions - or taking walks, the conversation never stopped, nor did the questions. I had been reaching for every single fact that Seth stored in his head, desperate to fully understand every single thing about him, the tribe and the pack.

So far, I had learnt that the pack had a sort of increased healing ability, that every single boy had the Quileute tribal seal tattooed on them as a tradition after they first phased, that Sam had a lot to do with making sure the younger boys did their schoolwork, and that the cause for the ravenous appetite and high temperature was because of 'something to do with science and genes', as Seth put it ever so simply. I had also discovered that each and every member of the pack needed to tie a piece of cloth around their ankle to ensure that they still had clothing after phasing, as jumping from wolf to human form guaranteed the ripping of all clothing.

Today I had finally allowed Seth access to my room, which he was still marvelling over. While I was not particularly thrilled about the place he seemed to pour over every detail, and I wondered if I was going to marvel over his room just as much as he was marvelling over mine.

"They're just blankets, Seth." I held in laughter as he continuosly ran his hand over the soft purple sheets.

"I know, but they're so soft."

Sitting in silence from my place in the middle of the bed, I watched him rub his hands on the sheets a couple more times before he refocused himself.

"Uh - sorry, what was the question?" He was a bit distracted by our proximity, and I smiled gently before repeating myself. "Yeah, it would hurt like a bitch. It's easier to fix breaks in human form, but as soon as we phase back the bones realign themselves."

That sounded truly horrific. "Has that ever happened to you?"

He shook his head, and a burst of relief issued from my stomach. I couldn't imagine Seth ever being in that sort of pain, and although I would have never wished it upon anybody it was particularly frightening picturing him in that state. The imprint pulsed once, causing Seth and I to shift a bit in our cross legged positions on my bed. We didn't acknowledge the tug, but I knew we had both felt it.

"What do you think about when you're shifting?"

He thought a moment before answering, looking a little reluctant. "It comes easier when you're angry or someone's in danger. That's why Paul has such an easy time shifting; he's so angry all the time."

I drank this information in, utterly fascinated by the ways this whole spirit warrior thing worked. The protectiveness related aspect to phasing explained why Seth had phased so easily the night on the beach last week, as he must have been motivated by the possibility myself coming into harm.

"Is Paul second in command?" I wondered aloud, remembering the first actual wolf I had seen on the reservation.

"Jared is Beta," Seth corrected, and my brows rose in surprise. "Paul is third in command."

That was an interesting point, as Paul always seemed to be the next person in command to me under Sam. Perhaps it was his stature, or the way he was able to quickly strike fear into someone's heart, but Paul just had the air of a Beta around him.

"There's something else I might have left out," Seth looked up at me through his lashes, and my interest piqued once more. "Did Jacob or anyone tell you about what happened after my dad died?"

"Well…" I stuttered a bit, approaching this as an obvious question I was meant to answer. "You phased, no?"

"It wasn't just me." Seth shook his head, and waited for me to connect the dots.

"Leah?" I reached the conclusion almost immediately, more pity grasping my heart. "I thought the spirit warriors were all male?"

"Apparently not," He explained. "This is the first time that it's happened in Quileute history."

"Poor Leah." If she didn't already have enough problems and emotional stress with the whole Sam situation and her father dying, now she had the pressure of being a spirit warrior placed upon her shoulders. I didn't want to drown Seth with too many concerns about his sister however, so I changed topics as soon as it seemed appropriate.

"Are you scared? Of what might happen with the coven?"

Seth was quiet for a moment, and I wasn't sure if it was because he didn't want to admit his fear for the creatures who were a major threat to him and his people, or if it was because this topic was just generally unliked for all of the pack.

"I'm more scared of what they can do." He answered honestly. "Which I guess is a 'yes'."

"What can they do?" I had been under the impression that these creatures were staying away from us

"They're not all just abnormally fast, strong," Seth began to explain once more. "Some of them have gifts. Foresight, mind reading, extra strength and speed - they have abilities on top of their enhanced features."

The more and more I was learning about these creatures, the more I didn't like them. I didn't care if they were vegan, or tried to keep to themselves; it already sounded like they had affected Bella (despite it being a choice of her own involvement) and if they didn't have a compassionate bone for wolves in their body, it meant tension in the town of Forks.

"And it doesn't end there," He went on, shoulders slumping even more. "All of their senses are heightened, and the only way to kill them is by chopping them up and throwing them into a fire - they're the perfect killing machines."

Another beat of horrified silence passed as I processed this.

"Well, what about you guys?" I was hoping to get a positive answer, as the wolves at the beach looked as though they could have taken on a Cold one any day of the week.

"We have some abilities," Seth didn't seem too confident in himself, which made my heart sink a little. "We're fast, we're strong, but only some of us have enhanced skills. Leah's got her speed, Jared has enhanced eyesight...all I can do is hear stuff really well."

"What do you mean?" I nearly laughed out loud in awe. "That's an amazing gift!"

He smiled at that. I was intrigued by this new little tidbit of information. Enhanced hearing? I would kill to have any of my senses be supernaturally enhanced. I couldn't imagine how exciting it was to be able to hear the leaves rustling in the trees from inside your home, or the water running from a river miles away. These abilities were gifts, given to the spirit warriors by nature to allow them to protect their tribespeople more efficiently, and Seth had every right to be confident about his.

"It's cool sometimes; I heard you coming all the way from your room to open the door today," He began to share, and his growing self-assuredness only served to further lift my spirit. "I can hear my mom coming from pretty far, but I can always hear you coming the furthest. It's much easier to hear you, but I listen for you more."

Against my very stubborn will, I blushed and looked down at my hands in my lap. I had decided to color my nails a light blue several days ago, and busied myself with picking the remaining polish off of my fingernails as the butterflies were getting a bit too drunk off of Seth's words. Knowing that he was always thinking of me and searching for me was overwhelming, although I very much liked the attention. He had been right; an imprint was hard to refute when the person was tailored for your specific needs and desires.

"What can you hear right now?" I looked back up at him, finding a very dopey expression plastered across his face. He was happy, and I was happy about that.

"L-like outside?"

"In the room." I clarified, curious to test his abilities.

"I can hear the water running under your room from the washing machine," He offered, and my smile encouraged him to continue. "I can hear the gears in your alarm clock, and I can hear your heartbeat."

"Really?" My gaze ripped itself away from my electric alarm clock and rested on my own chest before finding Seth's face once more.

"Yeah," He grinned, now accepting that I found his gift to be unique. "It's nice. Soothing."

I had certainly never heard a compliment like that before. The butterflies were now absolutely shiftfaced, plastered off of the comments Seth was giving them and way past doing barrel rolls. They were performing acrobatic tricks like no tomorrow, and bouncing off of all the walls on my stomach in a sort of happy harmony. Or so it felt.

I had been thinking about the imprint recently; the way that it felt every night sitting within me and how it would feel when Seth finally let go of the end he was holding onto. I didn't know how powerful the actual feelings were, but if I was only feeling about a tenth of them at the moment I could only imagine the power of the full imprint. I was rather torn about asking him to relinquish the hold he had on those feelings, as he had stated I already had a lot on my plate and he didn't want to overwhelm me. However, it was more stressful knowing that Seth was holding something back from me, as I would have appreciated feeling the full imprint for a bit longer before he tugged it away. I felt like I was being leashed, ironically enough.

"Have you heard anything from Jake?" I inquired as to our mutual friend, wondering if there was any news from when they were on patrol together and wanting to distract my train of thought.

"Bella punched him," Seth grinned, and I released a huff of laughter at that. "He tried to kiss her, so I think his invitation to her graduation party has been revoked."

I briefly thought of what Quil had mentioned in the garage last week, and how she was going to be changed after her completion of high school. My stomach clenched, and Seth must have definitely felt it because his expression fell a little.

"Collin phased," Seth offered, sensing that I didn't want to talk about it. "So we're up to ten now."

"Ten?" It was getting hard to keep track of these pack members.

"Sam, Jared, Paul, Jacob," Seth counted on his fingers. "Me, Embry, Leah...Brady, Collin and Quil."

"That's a lot of wolves." I wasn't sure whether all these members of the Quileute tribe phasing was a good or bad thing, but Seth answered that question before I could even ask it myself.

"Billy says that if more protection is needed, the gene will unlock and more kids will phase."

Billy seemed to be a very spiritual, mystic man with a lot of mystery behind him. On one hand I wanted to believe him and say that yes, perhaps all of this supernatural crap was one hundred percent not bogus. On the other hand, I wanted to scream that this was all insane and that none of it made any sense. Sure, abnormal things happened on the planet every day that caused people to question reality; but this seemed to be a step too far.

Relax...breathe, and accept.

I took a deep breath and refocused myself, forcing my thoughts not to run away from me.

"You okay?" Seth asked, one side of his mouth quirking up into a smile.

I nodded, and gazed out of the window that Seth had opened the drapes to. It was the first time that I had actually had light shining into my room instead of through drapes, which I refused to touch like the plague. I had been living like a vampire - the irony was killing me at this point - and practically hiding with all of my might from the sunlight.

My eyes slowly trailed over my room, looking across every detail in possible. I traced the dresser, then the closet and my desk. I looked over every trinket I had placed on top of this furniture, baubles and earrings that I never wore combined with papers and papers of sketches and candles that were never lit. All of it was infinitely more beautiful in actual daylight. It was like Seth had opened up a door that made me see everything so much more brightly; he had forced me into a whole other perspective, and it wasn't just in my room. I was starting to see it when I heard the birds chirping in the morning - I hadn't forgotten about his favorite animal - and when it was pouring rain. There was a beauty in the world and a beauty in living, and that was worth celebrating each day.

All of those thoughts vanished as my gaze crossed my mother's urn.

I frowned, peaceful moment interrupted.

Stupid urn. I wanted to throw it away. Smash it. Throw it in the ocean. All it did was remind me of something I didn't want to be reminded of. I couldn't stand the thing; it just sat there, being useless and bringing up old memories that caused further pain. It was garbage; just like my life without my mother, and -

"Tehya." Seth snapped me out of it, and I blinked a couple times before fully focusing on him. "Stay with me."

He had followed my vision to the urn, and I could see it in his expression that he understood how I felt. We had both lost a parent; both lost a figure in our lives that had meant the world to us, and we were still learning how to cope. The loss impacted more than I thought it did - my brain wouldn't let me forget, and I was sure that it was the same with Seth. I hadn't spoken to him about it as I was certain he would react the same way as I was doing right now. There was little I could do to get away from losing my mother. I would eventually have to confront that. Up until then however, I was going to try to push away the thoughts as much as possible.

"If you want to talk, I can -" Seth began to offer, and I could feel my heart start to clench up in panic.

"No!" I exclaimed a little too loudly, causing him to recoil by the tiniest bit.

Distract! My brain screamed at me. "Sorry...uh, no. I'm good. Could we maybe go for a walk?"

It took him a second to re-calibrate, but as soon as I got up off the bed he was rising with me and I was yet again reminded of how much taller he was than me. Then again, most average people towered over me. I cursed my poor genetics for my tiny frame. I also cursed myself for not being able to eat much solid food, because before I knew it black spots were swarming my vision and my knees were weakening.

Instinctively, I grabbed onto Seth and swayed in my spot for a moment little alarm bells going off in my head that told me I was going to pass out and vomit and get swallowed up by a big black hole. I willed myself to focus on Seth and his arm that I was grabbing, to focus on his hands as they grabbed back at me and stabilized me.

"Woah," The air flew out of my lips in one large huff as I brought myself back down to reality. "Sorry - light headed."

"It's okay," I was three hundred percent certain he didn't mind me leaning on him, as his satisfied features revealed. He was obviously proud to be fulfilling his role, and I was happy he was here. "How about we go get one of those smoothies from my place?"

"Good idea." I went to grab for his sweater and made sure to take my keys and cell phone from their place on my nightstand.

Dad was working today, which meant I had to lock up behind us and make sure to tell him I had left the house in the company of Seth. My father had taken to recently assuming we were always together, and instead of addressing me in his messages he had begun to address the both of us. My least favorite texts were the ones where he asked us to do the dishes or mop the kitchen, which I was always very grumpy about. Seth was the polar opposite, always happy to do whatever my father asked for around the house.

"Is there a council meeting today?" I asked Seth, unaware of what my father was actually off doing today.

"Town hall meeting," He shook his head. "Council is tomorrow. They're applying for more funding for the tribal school so that we can have some extra curricular activities. It's hard enough getting kids there in the first place, but it's awful for everyone when they're bored."

That sounded like me in school. I chose not to comment.

I knew that we only had a bit of time in our day left, as his patrol usually started around four or five depending on when Quil and Jared finished their run. I had figured out some of the schedule, but some days it was completely switched and Seth would do morning patrols with his sister, who usually ran later at night. With Brady and Collin newly phased however, I hoped that they would learn the ropes soon enough and allow me some more time with Seth. Nevertheless, I didn't ever make a case for myself as being lonely, as I didn't want to put myself before the safety of my tribe.

"What's the flavor for today?" Seth asked as we walked, hands in his pockets.

I noted his proximity, which was definitely closer than the first time we had walked together. I could imagine myself reached out and grabbing onto his arm, but I stopped that thought before it got too carried away.

"Strawberry banana," I announced, glad that I had found a food I could digest that was actually appetizing to me. "I really think we should throw that carrot cucumber one out, it smells awful."

"It wasn't my idea," Seth grinned, making me think back to when we had made those several days ago and googled some recipes. Most of them were decent, some of them were great, but there were some that we had to throw out on the spot. "The internet is full of crap like that."

"Hey, in my defense - I wasn't the one that wanted to try making one with kale in it." I bumped him with my elbow, watching his face light up.

"It's healthy!" Seth laughed, and our playful banter continued as we kept walking.

We reaching the house, we ended up settling on the couch watching television where an episode of the Fresh Prince of Bel Air was on. Although I preferred my nature documentaries, I was partial to Will Smith and enjoyed re-runs of the old comedy show. Seth did too apparently, as he would laugh from time to time at some of the jokes. My smoothie was long gone after thirty minutes of our arrival, and Seth had been kind enough to give me a blanket from his room, fuzzy and warm. The gesture was kind, and it definitely helped as I seemed to always be getting cold no matter what.

"Better?" Seth plopped back down next to me after I had donned the blanket, and I nodded in gratitude before thanking him.

I didn't miss how his arm found itself wrapped around the back of the couch behind me, and I most definitely appreciated the extra warmth that drew me into his side. With a shiver, I boldly shifted closer into his side and sat still, waiting for him to comment or at the very least drop his arm down. When he didn't say or do anything, I was compelled to sneak a look up at him and found a shit eating grin smeared across his face.

"Oh, shut up." I rolled my eyes at his expression, coercing a chuckle out of him that reverberated quite nicely through me. "You're warm - that's all I'm after, Clearwater."

"Sure." Another cheeky grin, and although I scoffed I could not hide my smile.

It was then that he dropped his arm, and at that point I didn't think either of us were paying attention to the show. We stayed like that for another while, enjoying the high of simply being around each other. It wasn't just his warmth that I could feel in such a close proximity; I could feel the imprint pulsating and thrumming deep inside of me, satisfied and complete. It was a feeling that felt somewhat close to being drunk, although I had only felt that once after getting into my mother's wine cabinet when she had been out at a board meeting. Long story short, she had found me vomiting red into her toilet and nearly called the ambulance before I explained to her that in a bout of self pity, I had dug through her stash of Merlot's and decided to indulge.

You really need a therapist.

Angrily willing my inner self to shut the hell up and let me enjoy quiet time with Seth, I was about to mention grabbing another smoothie before his front door opened and his sister came marching through the foyer. Gripped with momentary fear, I moved myself away from Seth and rose beside him as she rapidly approached us.

"Jacob's got some news - Sam wants everyone to meet at Emily's," Leah spat, eyeing me harshly. "Everyone's on their way."

"What news?" Seth questioned, taking the folded blanket I handed to him.

"How the hell would I know?" His sister fumed, turning to me momentarily. "Also, you're not invited. So you should just go home."

Not wanting to get into any sort of argument with her, I barely contained a small scoff of disbelief and prepared myself to get the hell out of there.

"Leah, could you not be a bitch for once?" Seth actually raised his tone a little bit, and shoved past his sister to gently tug my arm. "I'll meet you at Emily's."

I was surprised at his demeanor, and genuinely impressed that he was sticking up for me against his own family. I could only assume Leah was protective of her younger brother, but her offensive words were not needed and her crude stance was getting old. My soft spot for her was fading fast, despite my knowledge of what she was dealing with. I knew she had it rough, but when someone was that awful right to your face, it made you think of a million ways to snap back at them instead of striking a compassionate bone in your body.

"I'm sorry," Seth apologized as soon as we were out the door, and I shook my head. "She's awful."

"She's just having a rough time." I tried to defend, pushing away the bad thoughts.

"We all are," My imprint reasoned, and I tilted my head to acknowledge his good point. "But we don't all take it out on each other. She can be unfair."

Something clicked in my mind, and I realized that it was likely Leah didn't enjoy having me around her little brother. She was probably afraid I was going to hurt him, reject him, or just altogether unhappy that she was going to have to relinquish her little brother to another female. She had been guarding him for all her life, and now there was another girl in the mix - one she would eventually have to accept into the family. I didn't think Leah was ready to do that, and it was definitely contributing to her behavior. Still, I tried not to blame her for it. She was just have behavioral problems, and over time I was sure that it would straighten itself out.

"She doesn't like me, does she?"

Seth was quiet, before huffing and shaking his head. To my surprise, he wrapped a long arm around my shoulders and pulled me into his side, causing me to let out a squeak of surprise.

"I don't care, let's not talk about that."

My mind scrambled to find something else to speak of, and it landed on Leah's exclamation only minutes ago. "What do you think Jacob's news is?"

"Not sure," Seth shrugged. "I guess we'll find out. I'll send you a message when it's over."

I had to agree to those terms, as unfortunately I was not one hundred percent in the inner circle like my father. I expected that he, Billy and Sue were already almost there based on Sue's absence from the Clearwater home and my father's absence when Seth and I approached my house. Slightly disappointed that I was going to be spending some time alone, I thanked Seth for walking me and unlocked my door.

"Keep your phone on." He reminded me, closing the distance between us and growing bold enough to take a step forward and lean against the door frame. "I'll see you in an hour or two?"

He towered over me at close proximity, causing my breath to hitch in my throat as I actually acknowledged he would have been close enough to kiss me at that point. I gulped, nodded dumbly, and tried not to lose myself in the two chocolate pools that were his irises. I had always hated my own eyes, as they seemed like pools of black tar that held absolutely no appeal in them, but staring at Seth's eyes felt like the most relieving feeling right then and there.

The soft smile he wore forced my attention down to his mouth, and I traced the soft pink outline of his lips to try and memorize every detail on them. He leaned a bit closer, which threw me off and caused me to actually lose balance for a bit before he took a step back and began to step down the porch.

"Alright, I'll see you later!"

I was left dazed in his flurry of movement, caught in some sort of parallel universe where he had and hadn't kissed me at the same time. He had thrown me for a loop, the sneaky bastard.

"Motherfucker." I murmured as he made his way across the lawn, before slapping a hand over my mouth. Of course I had already forgotten about the enhanced hearing, and my brain was now taking the chance to make a massive fool of itself.

Seth turned, grinning once more. "I caught that. Easy tiger!"

He easily spotted my blush from the porch, and I swiftly shut the door in the heat of the moment. My body hadn't reacted like this to any of the boys I had experimented with back in Vancouver, as most of those had been awful experiences at parties that I hadn't wanted to attend in the first place. My mother had been adamant about me having a social life, and had pushed me to several social events that I hadn't exactly been over joyous about going to. Rarely invited to these extravaganzas made me an outsider, and apparently this contributed to the aura of 'mystery' around me. I always received questions left and right about my heritage, and while some jokes about my ethnicity (upon its discovery) really made me cringe while others made me downright furious, I eventually found some middle ground with some moderately respectful boys who just wanted to have fun.

I thought about this sexual past, unfortunately sparked by Seth's all too delicious looking lips, and shivered. This imprint thing was really getting to me.

Deciding to take a shower to clear myself of these thoughts, I quickly hopped into the bathroom and left my phone on the counter before stripping and stepping into the tub. Apparently I had no luck in avoiding the memories of my awful sexual partners, as they popped up pretty much as soon as I turned the water on.

I thought of all the boys I had been with - I could only count three in total - and shook my head in disgust as I tried to remember what I had seen in them. I had never gone too far - oral was the farthest I had been, and I wasn't exactly proud of those experiences either. They were usually done by drunk, sloppy boys at parties where I'd been invited along as an afterthought and that my mother had convinced me to attend, with attitudes had been fed one too many shots and apparently one too many confidence building comments. I never really felt that whole 'magic' that everyone was always in awe over when they had their first oral experiences.

As for my own performances, I had my biology classes to thank. Although boring, I managed to pay attention during the anatomy part of the course and after some horrifying experiences with trying to gather information from the internet - I could safely count one in total there - I got the point of what boys liked. It was all the same, and all of them had roughly the same reactions. I hadn't gotten much practice, but I was a hands on person when it came to learning and it wasn't so hard to get a hang of. Still, it was nothing great or magical, and I didn't get that confident feeling that all the girls talked about. I just felt filthy.

Shuddering once more as I washed my hair and scrubbed every inch of myself, again feeling as though there was dirt I still couldn't get to. I tried to wipe those memories from my head, but it seemed impossible; the only moments I could truly block everything else out was when Seth was around me, relaxing both my brain and my body.

I tried my best to pass the rest of my alone time productively while everyone was having their secret meeting, and took to organizing my room even though I knew it would end up in a very messy state about a week from now. I was not an organized person, and I figured this untreated depression or whatever Sue and my father wanted to call it, was not helping that case. Either way, I didn't care; my room was my territory regardless of who paid the bills, and it was my choice how to run it.

I regretted this conclusion when I slipped on a pen I hadn't spotted on the dark floor seconds later, cursing my stubbornness as I rose from where I had been practically mowed down by the Bic product.

"Screw you." I glared at the object, and tossed it towards my desk. "Let me live in my garbage nest in peace."

"Screw who?"

I jumped and yelped as I turned towards my father standing in my doorway, hands on his hips at he regarded me carefully. I was almost certain he was considering whether or not I had actually lost my mind this time and if he would actually have to phone the ambulance to take me, kicking and screaming, to the Clallam County 'Red River Behavioral Health hospital', or whatever it was called. The loony bin, as I liked to put it. I wouldn't have been surprised if dad was considering sending me to the psych ward right at this moment.

"Nothing," I sighed, actually glad to see him as it meant the meeting was over. "How was your little uber secret meeting?"

I wasn't sure if his smile was out of mild offense or surprise that I knew what was going on. "Fine. I'm sure Seth will tell you all about it."

I frowned, not liking that my dad knew so much about Seth and I's closeness. Although it was nice to have everyone on the same page, I saw his comment as a little condescending and demeaning, as if it insisted that Seth was going to spill all the dirty secrets about the pack to me because he couldn't keep his mouth shut. I resented this implication, as I firmly believed all of the other imprints vaguely knew what was happening in Forks and the general activity of their imprints, which didn't make me feel guilty at all for wanting to know what was happening.

"You're getting some of your fire back, I see." My father commented before leaving the room and I made a face I wished he could have seen before sitting on the bed and grabbing at my cell phone.

I had received a text from Seth, that read 'have to patrol - wait at Emily's for me? She needs help making muffins'. I quickly messaged a response, stating that I would be on my way over to the Young household soon and that I would wait for him there. I hoped that when he returned he could explain what Jacob's news had been, as Leah had made it seem rather urgent.

Dad didn't give me much trouble when I made it clear that I was exiting the house, only inquiring as to the whereabouts of my cell phone. I motioned to him that it was in the pocket of Seth's sweater, and left the house without another word. I knew the route to Emily's fairly well at this point, and although a part of me was telling myself to go back and give my dad a hug I was much too focused on getting out of the house. I was beginning to grow a strong dislike for being alone, as my mind tended to escape to places I would have preferred it not to. And being with my father sometimes was just as bad as being alone.

It wasn't his fault, I thought as I walked. It really wasn't; he reminded me of my mother so much despite not having seen her for ten years. We were all that was left of a family torn apart by divorce and cancer, and I just didn't like to look at the ruins of what remained unless I was forced to.

My pace quickened as I felt the familiar tug of anxiety in my gut, and the imprint pulsed a couple times. I briefly thought of Seth running through the woods that circled the reservation, and Jacob running alongside him. I wondered if he could hear me, or feel the pull of anxiety in my stomach. I wondered if when he felt pain, I would feel pain.

"Tehya!" Emily's voice interrupted my thoughts, and I looked up from my feet to see her waving from her porch.

"Hey," I greeted her with a hug, the warm body language setting me at ease a bit. "I heard you needed help with some muffins?"

"That's right," She smiled. "There's also someone I'd like you to meet."

She led me inside, where a girl who looked my age sat at the table. Her russet colored skin, a bit darker than my own, highlighted the shining white of her teeth when she spotted me and grinned. I wasn't sure who she was, but I tried to give her an equal gesture and moved forward to shake her hand. To my surprise, she pulled me into a hug and began to introduce herself, at which point I learned that this was Kim - Jared's imprint.

"Jared's also out doing rounds, so I thought we could all have some girl time." Emily poured some coffee into her mug from the kitchen counter top, and I saw that she had set out all the supplies to bake with.

My stomach clenched at the term 'girl time', as I had never been too good at 'girl time'. Like always, I was more of a 'one person at a time' people person, and girls gossiping all at once had always been a bit daunting to me. I had nothing to share and nothing to gain from those conversations, and they always ended up generating a lot of anxiety for me as I didn't feel like an equal. At least baking was something we could do to pass the time, and if it involved less talking and more hand action that was fine by me.

"It's nice to finally meet you," Kim looked a little bit too excited to have me here, and I tried to calm my poor frayed nerves. "There's not too many wolf girls we can talk to around here."

"Wolf girls?" I quoted her in confusion, looking to Emily for clarification.

"She means imprints." My old friend was quick to explain, while Kim nodded happily. "We can't really do pack gossip with girls who aren't pack."

I hadn't thought about that. I already felt so alone most of the time that I had never considered speaking to anyone else about the difficulty of believing all of this supernatural crap, but it made sense that girls such as Kim were desperate to interact with others who understood what it was like knowing about the tribe's true secrets and the Cold ones without having any supernatural capabilities themselves.

I took to analyzing my new acquaintance as she chatted amiably with Emily for a moment, going to open the pack of flower to prepare to bake the muffins.

I briefly noted that unlike many of the other women's hair on the reservation, Kim's hair was cut even shorter than Emily's. It fell around her shoulders, and I tugged on the ends of my French braid nervously as I thought of how strange it must have been to live with short hair like that. I had always enjoyed how my hair was a bit like a shield, and the length proved itself to be versatile. I thought she looked beautiful with the style however, and was not one to judge anyone based off of their personal beauty preferences.

"Do you want to help, Tehya?" Emily prompted me to snap out of my thoughts once more, and I agreed to assist the two women.

I tried to mix the wet ingredients in silence, but Kim prompted me to answer questions that would have been rude not to answer. Emily must have let her know not to question my family life before I had come back to the reservation however, as she avoided the topic of my mother entirely. I wasn't sure how to feel about this; on one hand I appreciated it, but on the other I absolutely hated being able to spot when someone had been talking about me behind my back regardless of whether the outcome was positive or negative.

"You seem like a natural at this," Kim complimented as I stirred the batter meticulously, used to the motions by now. "Do you like cooking?"

I nodded and tried to smile, wanting to satisfy the girl enough so that she would redirect her conversation towards Emily. I had no such luck.

"She's teaching Seth to cook." Emily's tone was a bit devious, and I nearly rolled my eyes before bracing myself for the questions that were certainly going to come after that.

"Ooh!" Kim happily digested that information, and I tried with all of my might not to grimace at her noise. I knew what was coming now, and was not excited to be answering the questions. It wasn't that I didn't like the girl; I just wasn't used to these types of interactions. "How's that going? He must be so happy with you."

"Certainly seems to be," Emily greased the muffin trays with butter, and winked in my direction. I all but turned beet red. "Isn't that right, Tehya? Sam says he's been in a remarkably good mood."

"Yeah," I offered a small confirmation, not comfortable with bragging or sharing too much. I couldn't help the damn butterflies in my stomach from beginning to do flips however, as the conversation made me focus on my imprint. "He's really sweet."

Damned butterflies.

"You two make a cute couple," Kim continued, mixing her dry ingredients with my wet ones in the large bowl, letting me stir them while she added chocolate chips. "We all expected Seth would be one of the last ones to imprint, but surprise surprise!"

"It was a surprise?"

"Well, he's just so young and so outgoing that we thought the chance of him imprinting was pretty slim until he matured a little bit," She shrugged, and I had to agree with her that Seth was definitely not one hundred percent the mature adult that Sam was, although that was not necessarily his fault. I enjoyed his personality very much. "But of course there's no control over that."

"If my niece isn't a perfect example of that, I don't know what is." Emily butted in, taking the mixture Kim and I had prepared.

It was always slipping out of my head that Emily was Makah, and that Claire had been her sister's child. I assumed she had moved down permanently to the Quileute reservation when Sam had imprinted on her, but I wasn't sure. I was about to ask her, before I saw her pouring the batter into the two muffin trays. The mixture we had made reached the top of the moderately large bowl, and although I hadn't really taken it into account before as I had been distracted by the girls' questions, these muffins were going to be huge.

I frowned as I saw the amount of batter Emily had us preparing, comparing it to the trays she had. "How many batches are we making?"

"Enough to give them a light snack before dinner," She answered, shrugging as she began to fill the first tray to the brim. "So two or three? Jacob usually eats the most."

I blanched. That certainly didn't seem like a light snack, but then again I had seen these boys eat. It was a bit frightening; their appetites rivaled that of some Olympians, but I supposed I could chalk it up to the genetics...if that was even scientific validation at all. It still didn't seem very believable to me, but whenever doubt rose in my mind my brain urged me to continue accepting.

Emily popped the muffins into the oven, and it was then that I spotted a large pile of ripped clothing on the table. I wasn't sure how my eyes had passed over that before, but my gaze was now glued to them. Kim caught me staring, and laughed a bit.

"Their clothing," She kindly clarified. "It rips when they phase, so I help Emily stitch them back up from time to time."

"Sometimes I just order a bunch of shirts online or visit a thrift store," Emily snorted, and I briefly felt sorry for all of the wasted clothing. "It doesn't matter either way; there's an eighty percent chance those clothes will get ripped off as well."

"Most of the time they go around shirtless," Kim wiggled her eyebrows, and I tried not to get flustered as various images popped into my head. "But I guess they've been more courteous as of late."

Both Emily and Kim sat down at the table after cleaning the counter top of flour, and I placed myself down across from them to watch them sow. I had only sown a couple times before and was utterly rubbish at it, so picking up a needle was not exactly something I had a strong urge to do at the moment. I preferred to watch them, and they seemed fine with that. Emily offered me tea, which I declined, and the conversation resumed.

"Is it usual for us to be out of the loop on what's going on?" I asked, receiving befuddled looks in response that forced me to expand on my question. "Like, in terms of information..."

"Oh," A light bulb seemingly went off in Emily's head as she threaded a needle. "You mean the meeting today."

"Usually not," Kim shook her head, patching up a shirt that was completely torn down the side. "Jared tells me everything. They're usually pretty open - secrets aren't welcome, and we already know so much that it becomes more about safety than anything."

That seemed logical to me, and I was content that this had been the answer. My father seemed to disagree with such a mind state, as if he believed that protecting me involved keeping secrets from me. I watched the two girls sow in silence for a couple more minutes, sort of astounded that sitting right in front of me were two people who had experienced the same sort of feelings that I held for Seth, but for other people. It was a bit bizarre thinking that these women would know exactly what I was talking about if I explained to them what the imprint felt like inside of me.

"I have a question." I shifted uncomfortably, not really prepared to ask what I was about to ask but knowing that these girls were likely the holders of the best answer I was going to get.

"Shoot." A cheeky smile from Emily.

"Do they...do they start to get, like…" I tried to find the appropriate wording for this, searching my mind for the linguistics that wouldn't allow me to embarrass myself. I remembered how Seth had phrased it last week when he was explaining himself on Emily's porch steps, and tried to use the same wording he had. "Do they start wanting more? I mean if the imprint just wants to be friends, for how long can they keep that up before their...wolf starts pushing them?"

To give the girls credit, they didn't stop sowing until after I had finished my question. I sincerely hoped that I wasn't about to get a 'birds and the bees' type talk, as I had already suffered that under my mother and didn't need any information like that, but I wanted a specific answer to my very specific question. To my surprise, it was Kim who answered me.

"They start getting...needy?" She tried to phrase it as politely as she could, but I understood what she was getting at. "It's hard to deny them - the imprint is really strong."

I stayed quiet, not wanting to reveal that Seth was holding back the full imprint from me as I had already opened myself up enough today. I knew that I wanted to feel those full effects, as despite the overwhelming nature of them I believed that more positive couldn't hurt me at this point. I needed all the distractions I could get, and if that meant more Seth I was definitely on board. Still, I was hesitant to push because I knew it was against his wishes. I was stuck in between...on the fence, as per usual.

"If you make it clear to him that you don't want that yet, he'll wait." Emily suggested, and although I couldn't imagine myself being able to hold off Seth's advances. "They have to respect your wishes."

"Sounds sort of like slavery to me." I was honest in my response, gaining the attention of both females once more as they looked up from their work.

It wasn't that I felt sympathy or pity towards Seth or any other pack members who had imprinted on women like myself, Kim or Emily. I just acknowledged that when you were inevitably emotionally chained to someone with a bond as powerful as an imprint, you lost a part of yourself to that person that you would never be able to gain back. Even through rejection, as Seth had mentioned, one could never take back an imprint. You were tethered to your imprint for life, and I supposed that a part of me was scared of that. A part of me was scared of that lack of choice that any other regular person with their regular love lives had.

"I felt bad at first," Kim spoke openly, the smile gone from her face as she tried to empathize with me. "I was head over heels in love with Jared at school for years, and he never noticed me. After he phased and imprinted, I felt horrible because I didn't even know if it was real - he didn't have any choice on who he imprinted on and he could have been sorely disappointed."

I tried to imagine someone like Embry or Brady imprinting on someone they hated, and dealing with those consequences. I didn't think Seth hated me, but it felt unfair that a random emotional connection such as an imprint picked its hosts soulmate without any warning. What if Seth had wanted to wait until he was older to engage in a relationship? I knew that if this was the case it wasn't my fault, but I still felt bad.

"They're not thinking about that when they imprint," Kim read my face, trying to soothe the side of my mind that I was certain she had no idea about. "It's the best moment of their lives - all they want to do is make us happy."

"But they didn't choose that," I argued. "Isn't half of the magic being able to choose who you want?"

Kim and Emily looked between each other as if they had experienced this conversation before, and I waited for some sort of solidarity or united front from them. I hoped that they had an answer of some sort instead of just sympathetic expressions, or I was actually going to scream and definitely be sent to the psychiatric ward.

"If you're really feeling that way about it you should talk to Seth," Emily offered, my rough view of imprinting not perturbing her in the slightest as the smile still remained painted on her face. "I'm sure whatever he says will set you straight right away."

I made sure to log that suggestion in my head for later, although I was a bit disappointed that Kim had nothing to say in response to my question. I imagined that more imprintees would have felt this way about the spirit warriors who imprinted on them, but now I wasn't so sure that this was the case.

Kim changed the subject after a bit of awkward silence, and I happily refrained from asking anymore questions as it seemed clear to me that if I had any discomforts about my imprint, I should take it up with him. So, I spent another two hours at Emily's doing my best to help her bake another batch of blueberry muffins in time for the boys to come back from Patrol. When they did, the silence was shocked straight out of me in one solid breath.

"Oh!" I stammered as three shirtless boys, Jacob, Jared and Seth, excitedly bounded across Emily's lawn with whoops and yells and ran straight for the batch of muffins that had cooled in the middle of the table.

They only managed to issue improper muffled greetings in between huge bites that I couldn't believe they were taking, the baked goods practically spilling out of their mouths with every chew. If anyone else would have tried to eat like this, I was certain that Emily, Kim and I would have been dealing with an overwhelming number of choking victims. The speed at which they inhaled their food was remarkable, but at the same time was a bit of a cause for concern. I understood they were hungry, and yes - they had just been running for several hours in the form of an animal that consumed proportions much larger than theirs, but for heaven's sake; one of them was bound to choke!

"It's alright - this is normal." Emily placed a hand on my back, and it was then that I realized my mouth had been hanging wide open.

"This is madness." I tried to reason, watching Jacob reach for his fourth muffin.

"This is pack!" Kim sang, placing milk down on the table that was gone in the next minute. None of the boys took heed to our conversation in the background until Emily pulled the last batch of muffins out of the oven.

It was gone in two minutes flat, easily. Until the last muffin had been absorbed by Seth himself, Kim, Emily and I sat in silence and watched them eat. It was like watching an insane eating competition, except at the end there were no winners and they all wanted more food. None of them seemed as though they were about to vomit, and Jacob even had the guts to ask if there was a fourth batch.

"There were three of you," I stared at the table where the muffins had existed ten minutes ago. I couldn't imagine the type of damage done after the whole pack ate at Emily's. "Three…"

"So no fourth batch?" Jacob took my awe as a no, and my mouth dropped open some more.

Seth took this chance to rise from the table and approach me, finally offering a hug to make up for the ten minutes in which he had chosen muffins over me. He didn't give me any time to process that I was staring at his very shirtless, very muscular form, and I believed the whole scenario was part of his plan. I took it, still in a little bit of a shocked state, and tried not to focus on his build practically folding into me. The warmth was overpowering, and I wrapped both hands around me with my palms flat to feel as much skin as possible. I wasn't even ashamed; he was a space heater shaped like a male model. When he finally released me, I gave him a cautious one over as he backed away because not only was he sporting a know it all grin on his face once more, but I was fairly certain consuming that much sugar in one sitting was going to make him explode.

"I missed you." He tried to draw me out of this state and did so successfully, as I shot him a competing smile which he reciprocated very nicely. Nonetheless, I could tell something was on his mind. "Could we talk?"

In my afternoon of interesting conversation with Kim and Emily, the pack's meeting had all but slipped from my mind and so I eagerly followed Seth out the door so that we could have a little privacy. I didn't know if Jared was going to do the same thing with Kim later on, or if those girls already knew, but all I cared about right now was being kept in the loop.

Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back.

I willed my brain to shut the hell up.

"So don't freak out," He started, instantly causing my heart rate to spike. Big mistake - huge. "But there's these things called newborns - new vampires, apparently ten times stronger and faster because of some science-y reason about their human blood still being in their veins."

"And?"

"And they're coming here." Seth was apparently becoming illiterate in the worst time possible.

"For? To do what? Why?!" I wasn't sure if he was purposely dragging out his explanation to torture me, but I was about to have a heart attack if he didn't finish his sentences properly.

"For Bella," He finally explained, although this didn't answer anything. I motioned very clearly for him to continue. "One of the coven's members had a vision...and the newborns will be in Forks in about four days."

Jesus - this Bella girl was a real catastrophe. All of the anger and chaos erupting within the reservation, or in the general Forks area, seemed to have something to do with her. What was so special about this one freaking girl? Was a mastermind or the catalyst in a snowball effect? This whole situation didn't even seem to have a point; why would they be coming to get a random girl in Forks? It had to be connected to something.

"Okay," I still failed to connect the dots. "What does this have to do with you guys? They're after Bella, not the whole town."

"Sam agreed to a truce," Seth's expression suddenly tightened painfully, as if he really didn't want to tell me what was next. "Between the pack and the coven here...to protect the town. The newborns only know her scent, not where she is - they'll go through anything to get to her, so we need to meet them at the front lines."

"Wait," Horror dawned on me as I digested this, stomach all but ready to puke it back up. "That means you have to fight. You're fighting. You're fighting those newborn vampire hybrid things?! That are ten times stronger than those other regular vampire freaks!?"

Seth nodded, and I puked.

A/N: Sorry for the long chapter, guys. Let me know if there is anything you think I could improve on or change, and as per usual reviews and PMs are welcome! :) Hope you enjoyed.