A/n: Remember what I said about not hating me? Yeah, this is where that comes in.

-REMEMBER ME-

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Safe On Gallifrey

"NO!" I shout, angry beyond belief, completely distraught. "My SHIP!"

Something like this could not have happened on its own. Only someone with an intimate knowledge of a TARDIS could do this. Sabotage. Betrayal.

I round on my father, like an angry whirlwind.

"Who did this? WHO DID THIS?" I shout at him.

He's silent. He looks so sad, and so pained. It stops my furious anger in it's tracks. At last, he meets my eyes, and his whole face screams the bearer of bad news.

"He said to tell you he's sorry," says my father.

And without another word, he turns and he leaves my now dying TARDIS.

"NO!" I scream, the minute he's gone. I throw the nearest thing in my path at the door, and it shatters like sparks and falls to the floor. The TARDIS moans in complaint. "NO!"

The tears come hard and fast.

"No," I whisper, before I fall to my knees, sobbing. Every inch of my brand-new body aches with this betrayal, as it shakes with my tears. My hands clasp desperately at my hair, as I curl up under the console and just sob.

It's not fair. It's not fair at all.

An unidentifiable amount of time passes before my tears finally run dry, and I'm able to crawl out from under the TARDIS console. And I'm angry, but my anger has fizzled out. Now, a determination fills me.

I'm not giving up without a fight.

With an angry, fierce determination, I attempt to fix the TARDIS, though I know it is unfixable. She's slowly dying and I can feel it. It wasn't unkind. You made sure she'd feel no pain. But you killed her. You killed my TARDIS.

The second I spark two cords together in an attempt to fix it, the hologram appears.

And there you are, your hat-covered head bent low, your multi-colored scarf trailing the ground. Your posture hunched, as though you are ashamed of yourself. You should be.

I would kill you if you were really here.

"Doctor," I say tersely. I know you can't hear me, that this is a pre-recorded message. But you look up at me, just the same, and your eyes are filled with sorrow and you look rightly and properly ashamed of yourself.

"Clara," you say sadly. I come to stand in front of your hologram, now even taller than before because I'm so short. I'm so mad at you at this moment that I feel as if I glare at your image hard enough, you'll feel it. You'll feel my absolute righteous anger, wherever you are.

"My Clara. I'm so sorry. By now you'll know what I did, and I've never been more ashamed of myself. My TARDIS will never forgive me for what I've done. And you...I know you will hate me for this forever. But I had to.

"You're safe on Gallifrey, Clara. I can't risk…" here you shift, and you sigh, and you fiddle with your scarf, looking down at your feet. You stick your hands in your pockets, and you look back up. "I had to do it, you must understand. I can't lose you again, Clara. My Clara. You seem so familiar. I know you better than I should. There's something off about you I can't put my finger on. You're different from anyone I've ever known."

I don't have the slightest idea what you're talking about, and you're confusing me. But my anger at you is no less because you spew out meaningless nonsense. All you do is talk.

"I can't risk losing you. You are too important. You are safe on Gallifrey, Clara. You must stay on Gallifrey."

"You can't boss me around! You can't contain me like this! You can't do this!" I shout at your hologram, not caring that you can't hear me.

"I'm sorry."

And then without another word, you fuzz out, and you're gone.

Run you clever boy, and remember me.


A/N: Okay, I know, it does seem way out of character for the Doctor to kill a TARDIS, but this is the man who blew up Gallifrey and his own people, burned up a star just to say goodbye, committed genocide multiple times, contemplated killing a Star Whale, made Donna forget everything wonderful that happened to her to save her life (even though she probably rather would have rather died than forget), trapped River in a virtual life in a data core because he doesn't like endings, killed Soloman the Trader and the leader of the Sycorax, ran away from Jack because it hurt to look at him, wanted Amy to stay with him instead of her husband, wanted to just "keep" the Master locked away in his TARDIS, doomed Ursuala Blake to live out eternity as a face on a block of concrete...need I go on?

The Doctor makes some odd decisions based on a logic that is not entirely...well...logical sometimes. Or, for that matter, entirely ethical. His morality compass doesn't exactly point due North. He always treads that line between hero and villain, staying just on this side of hero. So I don't feel it's that out of character for the Doctor to kill Clara's TARDIS to keep her on Gallifrey, where he believes she's safe, where he can find her again, instead of allowing her to travel the universe, where any number of bad things could happen to her.

And from his point of view, he's just found his childhood best friend again, and has become very attached to her in a short space of time, and already nearly lost her once (I should have clarified, Clara's regeneration didn't go exactly right and she was on the brink of death, but I couldn't figure out a way to do that in the story that didn't disrupt the flow. I understand now why Moffat leaves so many plot holes). And don't forget, there are other Clara's out there, watching his back, so it's no wonder that this Clara seems familiar to him, aside from their childhood affiliation. I want to make Clara a mystery BEFORE she was a mystery, if you get my drift.

And also, while I'm on the explaining things roll, I'm sure some of you are wondering "If Time Lady Clara and original Clara have the same name, and the same traits, and seem familiar to the Doctor, why didn't he make the connection earlier?" Well, first off, it's a big universe, and the Doctor meets a lot of people, some of which have the same names (Mel and Mels, anyone?). As for any other reason why he wouldn't make that connection...well...Spoilers. :)