A/N: Yo yo yo hoes! Sorry for not updating more lately I been piss drunk everyday and then I had dates and stuff… Dude I was on a date and legit one of the construction workers opened the door to ask a question and we were fucking 69ing… I swear that was the oddest thing in the world… like bitch you're back early from your lunch break… anyways love you guys for always reviewing you guys are the shit!

0A: a dragon dog would be awesome… I just want a pet skunk I can name skittle jizzle… thanx for the review booboo…

Jaredx03: I love you. No really. Ok so maybe I love the reviewer you! Thanx for supporting both my stories babe! Yeah Mitchie's a fucktard! Love it thanx for the review babe.

LEATHERnGOLDlover: depends… what's your wish? Ahaha well heres a [[free lapdance pass from LEATHERnGOLD]] that you can have for if I ever see you ahaha. Thanc for the review hunn.

Fly like a Gmen: No one knows what's going on in my head… well usually it's something perverted or high thoughts… ahahaha… Hell yeah girl! Huff daddy is my future ex-husband!

Greatpretender27: Hell yeah I'm updated… no really it's only b/c I find everything out thru my twitter ahahaha…well this chap shows you what I was going for ahaha thanx sweetie.

Full360-2b-me: Dude how do you NOT come up with this shit! Ahaha no it's because in middle school when we we're learning about Aztecs everyone thought it'd be funny in our group's presentation if I be the bitch that gets sacrificed ahaha… thanx hunnbunn…

Ad3n: Girl I don't know what to tell you about that b/c I love the dick! I like girls too but that's because their head game is usually crazy and they're rougher but yeah… ahaha I love men and women… my dream is to be in a threesome with Mila Kunis and Andrew Garfield! Ahahaha thanx for the review love.

yyAnonymousyy: Yeah trust when I went to school, no one in any of my classes got shit done or got in trouble with me b/c I'd always blurt dumb shit out, but teachers liked me so they'd just joke with me too… and then I smooth talked some of em into letting us get free days and bullshit in class. Sure we can talk… just hit me up babe.

Mell23: I LOVE you more sweetheart! You're such a loyal reviewer… I hope you enjoy this chapter doll!

Camihere: Girlfriend, I'm horny, pull your panties down! And by the way YOU don't own ME! YOU are MY bitch! Got me camcambanam? Don't worry I'm pretty sure I haven't cheated on you with another Brazilian… I know how to get u a lot of other things besides just curious babe ;)… LOVE YOU CAMCAMBANAM BBAAAAMMMM!

Everythingurnot: Actually sweetheart you were the 100th reviewer! WOOT! WOOT! PULL UR PANTIES DOWN! Ahahha… I'm glad I could make your day So since you're the 100th reviewer, what'd ya want?

Thatgirlkatie: aww thanx and I completely love u!

143: Yeah I lie yelling that out randomly! OOO I see what you did there… ahahhaa love you too… thanx sweetie…

RiddleMeThisBatman: DUDE I THINK I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU! Ahahaha dude Cudi is the shit! T.G.I.F is one of the dopest songs ever! I love that joint by him! Top 3 favorite new rappers out right now go… B.O.B, , Wiz Khalifa… ahahha let's get to cuddling babe… when's our date? And I'll let you feel other things besides my heartbeat ahahahaha…

Azrael-Heywood: Aww I'm sorry you missed being the 100th reviewer ahahhaha… so are you saying you don't have any clothes on right now? Say yes… ahahaha I'd love for you to ccome cuddle with me and break in my headboard…wait…what… ahahaha thanx babe…

DemenaJackson: Sure I'll pimp slap you… bend over… ahahahaha… well I hope this is dynamite enough for baby… thanx…

-Ding- Welcome to Hell.: Ahahaha I'm glad you're enjoying this story hunny… that's all I want is to spread some laughs… ahahaha… you definitely get to see why Alex is the way she is in this chapter enjoy boo.

(Mitchie POV)

Holy skittle jizzle… I've seen this shit in movies before. She giving me that look when someone's about to reveal some crazy mess like they're a serial killer or OH MY GOSH she's 'A' from Pretty Little Liars or son of a muthabitch she's gonna tell me she's really Mikayla the pop diva! No she can't be Alex has a mole on her cleavage, Mikayla doesn't. Yes, this is how I recognize people, by their 'stimulus package'. It's also how I know that nude picture of Selena Gomez was fake. A little sad but at least I have a visual now. OMG could it be? I just found Carmen Sandiego. Shitfuck please don't be a Bieber fan!

"Uhh…" Great. You've been playing Sherlock Homie around this chick and now that she offers to tell you something about herself you blank out. Muthabitchin light bulb! I figured it out! She's a princess from some random island that's not on most maps!

"After I tell you this though, just leave me alone." What the flying hippopotamus ass kind of choice is that? What ever happened to 'Do you want a boy toy or a girl toy?'?

"It can't be that bad that I have to stay away from you. Why don't you just let me be the judge of that?" Yeah where's my dickhole gavel. Silence in the court! But keep talking.

"Because after what I tell you, you'll just want to stay away from me." I OBJECT! But I'll stay away from CPK's from now on, in fear I'll run into Selena Gomez having dinner with Justin Beiber, that'll really test my gag reflex.

"Alex, let me decide." Yeah you're pissing off the judge.

"Fine, you wanna know why you should stay away from me, because Michelle, I'm a murderer." Fuck I wish I was a bounty hunter!

"What? Alex are you OK? What do you mean you're a murderer?" O bitchfuck she murdered that dumbass who hacked her Facebook and Twitter! For sure whoever it was, was not a Belieiber.

"Just what I said Michelle, I'm a murderer. Everyone that I end up with and love, I kill." What the racoonfucker, she's serious right now like she's doing a commercial for UNICEF.

"Alex, h-how? What do you mean? You can't possibly have killed someone." I give myself props for actually still sitting here. If it were any other person to tell me some shit like that I would've been running out the house by now screaming 'BITCH GOTTA GUN!' at the top of my lungs. It's really an accomplishment, I was hanging out with this girl one time and all of a sudden this guy suddenly burst thru the door in a mask and I jumped and screamed 'Hide yo kids, hide yo wife, and hid yo husband, 'cause they rapin' everybody out here!' turns out it was her brother coming back after his hockey game.

"But I did, my boyfriend and my girlfriend died because of me." Problem solved, we'll get married that way I won't be your girlfriend, I'll be your wife.

"Alex, you possible couldn't have killed them willingly." I hate talking to killers, I always feel like they're going to kill me.

"It's like I have a curse, anyone I love, dies. First Dallas and then Cory." Wait Cory as in the same Cory Taylor dated? What's with these two and sharing boyfriends first Taylor now Cory.

"How Alex? How did it happen?" OMG if I get pistol whipped I will pass out slightly turned on! Dude what if she's like Angelina Jolie and can curve the bullet. Shit that would be so cool! She would so put the ass in assassin.

"Uhm Dallas she was older than me. She was a senior, cheerleader, and had just gotten accepted in to Stanford and everyone loved her. They decided to throw her a celebration party so she got wasted and said she didn't want to go to the party because she didn't want to go to Stanford. She said she didn't want to be that far from me. But I wasn't having it, I wanted her to go, Stanford was a dream for her, so I dragged her to the party and as we got out the car I grabbed her arm trying to drag her across the street and we started arguing and she pulled away from me and when she did she stumbled onto the street and was hit by a car. Then I started finding comfort in this guy named Cory who really helped me thru a lot, he was the first person to not give me that look after what happened… again he was older, he was playing football for the University, star athlete, they we're saying he was going to make it pro, he had a great personality and was an amazing team leader. One game the ball was snapped and he searched the field and right before he was about to throw the ball, he turned his head to the bleachers to smile at me, and right when he did he got tackled by the other team snapping his neck in the process. Two people I loved died right in front of my face. And it's all my fault." Shiggity fucktard she's crying. I can't take crying girls. Shit we just went thru this… well at least I'll have an awesome Facebook status 'Just hugged a killer. What? Because real G's move in silence like lasagna.'

"Alex, those weren't your fault, sure you were there, but you didn't plan it. They were both accidents. Don't hold yourself accountable for accidents, you can't prevent accidents." This ain't StateFarm.

"No, if I would've never met them, that would have never happened. I'm cursed. Just stay away from me, it's never going to work."

"Says who? Alex you can't let two mistakes take over your life, you deserve happiness too. Alex you had nothing to do with that."

"It shouldn't have been them. They had too much going for them. Don't you see Michelle, you can't plan a future with someone like me. You won't have a future if you end up with me." Fuck that I want to stick around to see if Justin ends up building himself a robot fuck buddy.

"Alex, don't say that. Sure, things that weren't planned happen and change you, but it doesn't have to be for the bad. You have to give yourself a chance to live life. How can you do that when you're closed off to love? Love is such an important factor in people's lives." Look no one would have thought that you would still stay in touch with your ex best friend's older sister while she's in rehab, but apparently she listens to you while working out and takes you to the 'candy store'. Nor would we have imagined people would try to pass around that 'topless' photo of you as it really being you, let's be real if it was really you the pic would have been a lot more glamorous than that.

"I can't Michelle, I can't be responsible anymore for any more broken futures and dreams."

"Alex you're not responsible for it, you just happened to be there. You still have to continue the life you were put out here to have. I know they loved you and wouldn't want to see that you've given up because of them. Why don't you allow yourself to be something they're smiling about and proud of because I'm sure they wouldn't want to see you this way."

"Fuck off Michelle who are you to say what they would or would not want. I'm sure they didn't want their life ended early either. Don't stand here and tell me they're frowning down on me when you know nothing about the situation." She said that shit with so much venom dipping from her voice I thought I was in an over dramatic soap opera for a minute.

"Alex I'm not saying I know them. I just want you to be ok, you'll never move on from the pain if you keep holding on to it. Alex you have this amazing picture in front of you with thousands of pieces, don't let two missing puzzle pieces ruin the picture for you, it's still a pretty picture. You are an amazing person, why worry about something that's already happened and you can't change. All I'm saying is what's beating yourself up and not living your life doing to make that situation different? Alex you can't stop the rain from pouring and you can't stop the wind from blowing and you can't stop what has already happened but most of all you can't stop yourself from living." Man I should really command a suicide help line… I could just start off by greeting them with 'Thanks for calling the suicide help hotline, tell me what makes you want to turn the razor from horizontal to vertical today?'… I think someone's got a new calling…

"Look Michelle I appreciate you helping and everything but I just need some time to think… alone." How freaky would it be if Michael Jackson's 'You Are Not Alone' started playing right now? I'd be out of here faster than Nick Jonas out of a sugar factory. "I'll see you at school Michelle. I appreciate it. Thank you, I'm serious." Why so serious?...

"OK, but if you need me, just call me alright. I'm here for you." For anything, you need help showering, you need someone to cry on, you want some angry sex, not so angry sex, eating some strawberries and whip cream, shaving your lady grass, pap smear, breast checked, naked massaging, you fell and can't get up, need an alibi to why you can't go to the premiere of NEVERSAYNEVER which by the way had to be in 3D? I don't want to be in the theatre punching the air b/c I think he's right in front of me. Anything really topless photography, bottomless photography, naked car wash, salad tossin', carpet munchin', clit ticklin', titty twistin', cave explorin', some finger slip 'n slidin', deep sea divin'… basically anything.

"Sure, bye Michelle." Somehow in movies this is still the part where we fuck like two energizer bunnies with the rechargeable pack so we just keep on going… and going… and going… straight to Macy's for some new sheets…

"OK bye Alex, call me if anything."

What the flying leprechaun fornicator is that ringing… bitchcunt I was daydreaming again! None of it was real. Fuck I imagined this whole thing from me moving here to the party to sex with Alex to the confession in her house. Fuck figgity fucking fuck fuck with a baseball bat… none of it happened… stupid daydream in class… and there she is Alex Russo most popular girl of our school who has not once ever even shot me a glare. 4 years of going to school together and not once has she noticed me… fuck I'm pathetic… and me just sitting here dozing off in class having daydreams of an alternate world where Alex Russo actually knows me… suck my invisible 10 inch dry bitchhole!

HA-HA just kidding. How upset would you guys be if it were just a daydream? HA-HA no, but seriously it felt as if it was just some big stupid dickhole fantasy because ever since that confession in her room she's been avoiding me like I photo shopped that picture of her topless and spread it around, or like I'm the one who threw a water bottle at Bieber's head. What the skittle jizzle. But today I was going to find out! Bitch can't hide from me, I know where she goes to school, I know where she lives, I know what she drives… does that sound stalkerish? Good, it was meant to.

"Yo, Mitch we said are you rolling today?" What rolling what… I am not making you assholes pie…

"Huh?" Yeah I went there… mmm hmm…

"Dude to that kid's yacht party, what's up you down to go?" Not when that kid makes me sea sick. I see him and I get sick.

"Who's all going?"

"Dude if you mean is Alex going, I don't know, let's ask her… Yo Alex!" Great Shane you fucking douchecunt shouldn't you be at the vet with your vampire dog bitchstick.

"Hey what's up?" O sure to him you're all cheery and non-killer-like.

"You joining us at That Justin kid's yacht party?"

"Yeah I'll be there. Yacht party in January, fuck yeah."

"Yeah, that's my girl. We'll get fucked up for sure." Did he just say his girl? Fuck that hold me back… airport Mitchie coming thru…

"Hey Alex." You remember me? The girl you told who you killed last, last summer.

"Hey Michelle, anyways fellas, I'll see you guys there Taylor and I got something we gotta do." O what's that make glitter and sequin bikinis for today's yacht party. It'll be a party if you wear painted bikini's… no what edible bikini's… no wait you girls in edible bikini's serving tater tots… using your mouth… now that's my type of shindig.

Damn, I'll give it to you this lil Canadian girl, boy whatever… I'll just call him flipper from now on dedicated to that dumbass hair flip he does every 10 seconds… it's like every time I see him do it I'm secretly singing 'I whip my hair back and forth, I whip my hair back and forth' in my head. Now where the gummi bear fucktard is Alex… I haven't seen the kids in a while and I think lil Lena and lil Sel miss me. OH H-E-DOUBLE HOCKEY STICKS NO! Is that lil Flipper hugged up on my Alex on this yacht… c'mon midget bitcher you have to tip-toe to kiss her cheek… she'd never go for that… she looks too good in heels to go out with this guy. Where the fuck are they going… O what the blue balls is his hand on her towel covered ass… alright little boy play time's over…

"Hey Alex can I talk to you please?"

"Sure. What's up Michelle having fun?" O don't you play coy killer…

"What's wrong? Why have you been avoiding me ever since, you know, you told me about what happened?" See how smooth I am I didn't even mention it really… from what I've seen is killer's get really touchy when you actually say what they did out loud.

"Look Michelle you should just stay away from me. No offense really, and besides I'm no one's sympathy case."

"Sympathy case? Alex what are you talking about?"

"Look you know now, I left Texas because I couldn't stand looking at all those people who when they saw me knew me as the girl with a dead boyfriend and girlfriend, and now, you're just another one of those people. Go have fun Michelle, I'm gonna do the same, after all this is living life right."

O figgity fuck no! Fine, you want me to have some fun, let's go bring on the alcohol. Next thing you know I feel like I'm in a Lil Jon music video… all I remember is everyone yelling SHOTS!SHOTS!SHOTS! EVERYBOD-AAYYY! And I'M FUCKED UP! YEEEAAAHHHH! I start stumbling trying to find a bitchhole bathroom in this mutha buttsucking yacht. I swear this room better have a stupid jizzle bathroom, times like this I wish I were a guy so I could just whip my shit out and piss in the water… OOO jackpot two hot bitches 69ing the fuck outta each other… live action porn… fuck a bathroom I'll take the UTI to watch this…

"Hey! C'mon perv, close the door." Hey isn't that the girl who's boyfriend tried to leave her for Alex… fuck who she bangin?... What the clittickler Alex!

"A-Alex?"

"Fuck Lexy baby it's one of your friends. Tell her to leave." O I know this hoe did not just go there OK blondie bring it!

"Michelle, get out. Close the door while you're at it."

"This isn't your house Alex you can't tell me to get out."

"I can't? Fine, suit yourself Michelle, enjoy the show." OK I was fine with this idea before I found out it was Alex…

"Alex come on… "

"Michelle get out and I'll talk to you later, I mean it, just go."

"Fine Alex, I'll go, I hope you have a good fuck."

There ya go bitches! REVIEW PLEASE! I love you hoes! Tell me is you guys got any suggestions, comments, any questions, what's your favorite sex position, if there's any you think I should try out, how long your tongue is, is it pierced, can you shake it, roll it, dip it… LOVE Y'ALL