Pale Blue Shadows

Author's Note:

Thank you, everyone, for all your lovely, lovely reviews! I'm thrilled that you're enjoying the story, and I actually honestly apologize for this chapter, which, really, is going to do exactly what the title says… frustrate a whole lot of you. But its necessary for the story's ultimate goals. So please, bear with me. I'll earn the M rating soon enough…

Chapter 11: Frustration

Roxanne woke in a delicious tangle of silk and satin sheets. She sighed contentedly, rubbing her face into the soft material. She stretched slowly, lifting her head with a yawn. She gazed around at the room's occupants. Forty-two was lifting itself from its hollow by her feet, bowging softly while blinking at her, ready to serve as always. She turned her head to look at Thirty-six, who's red eye glared at her. "Bowg," it snarled, turning itself away from her.

She stared hard at the angry little bot. "It's not my fault you don't get to see him," she told it firmly. "He's the one who wouldn't come in last night." The bot didn't move, though a second snarled bowg emitted from the sulking mechanical pet.

Roxanne sighed, letting herself fall back into the softness of the pillows. It was true. If anything, she'd made a complete fool of herself last night. At least, she dimly remembered Minion rolling his eyes at them as he drove them home. Once in the safety of the car's invisibility, the disguises could be dropped. And she'd more than adequately expressed her preference for kissing the real Syx, as she'd put it. Roxanne groaned, dragging a pillow over her face.

They had stood in the doorway of the bedroom. Her back had been pressed into the frame of the door as he'd taken his time, kissing her slowly and thoroughly. The memory of his soft lips gently toying with her own left Roxanne feeling as liquid as the actual experience. He had pulled away, gazing into her eyes. There had been a very long moment, as she waited for him to continue, or to slide her from the door frame into the room. She was entirely undone by his touch and his kisses and the way he had cared enough about her own desires to let her choose their evening, even if the first hour had been spent walking around a bank, plotting escape routes and exit strategies.

Had he wanted her, she would have let him take everything. Have anything. It had been so long since she had felt wanted or needed or… if she dared to admit it… loved. Instead, the moment had stretched longer and longer. Roxanne had wet her lips nervously, gazing back at him with increasing confusion. Was he waiting for something?

She forced herself to break the silence of the moment. She had swallowed hard, "Do you want to come in?" she'd asked quietly, desire and need melting together in the pit of her stomach.

He'd closed his eyes, drawing a slightly shuddering breath. The moment stretched too thin. Suddenly, Roxanne felt foolish for even making the offer. She hadn't been with very many men, but the offer had never been met with anything less than immediate acceptance. She didn't know what to do with this silent pause. "No," he had finally replied, "Not yet. Not like this."

Roxanne had stood frozen in shame. She couldn't identify what was wrong with this moment. She didn't know how to handle such a rejection. He'd slipped from her side, a brush of a kiss across the back of her hand. She hadn't quite been able to process anything. So instead she had numbly stepped into the room and closed the door. Forty-two had done the work of undressing her and tucking her into bed. It wasn't exactly the conclusion to the night she had expected.

Still in bed, Roxanne clenched her eyes shut, trying to shake the feeling of embarrassment and injured pride. She wasn't sure what was worse, the fact that she had asked or the part where he had rejected her. Everything had seemed to lead to the inevitable conclusion she had drawn. He seemed just as addicted to her kiss and her touch as she was to his, so why would he say no? He knew she wasn't going anywhere. Knew that she… had feelings for him. Sharing a night was a big step but it was a natural one, just a simple progression of what they had already…

Roxanne paused, her mouth going dry in a sudden horror. Syx wasn't human. Blue skin and big head aside, there were differences between them. His inhumanely sharper teeth, his cooler temperature, the bizarre heartbeat, his thinness and apparent increased resilience. She had a suspicion that he healed faster than humans too.

Which led to the inevitable question. Just how different was he from humans actually? For all she really knew, he might not even be mammalian. What if his species laid eggs or something? Roxanne sat up miserably, drawing herself into a ball. Was it possible that she had fallen for someone she might not actually be capable of being intimate with? Roxanne gazed nervously at the two brainbots, both of which were staring at her uncertainly, sensing her shift in mood. Admittedly, it had been a little over two years since she'd last had sex. Going without had sucked, but it was doable. But… was she actually willing to go the rest of her life without any?

Which brought up the question of when exactly the idea of spending the rest of her life with Megamind had taken root.

Roxanne grabbed a pillow and squeezed it tightly to herself. This was just not a good morning.


When she finally dragged herself and the dull headache that beat in her temples into the kitchen, she was almost terrified of seeing Megamind. Instead, Minion's broad back greeted her, a tuneless hum in the air. "Morning, Minion," she greeted him softly, her tone graced lightly with relief.

He turned to her, a look of curious discomfit on his features. "Good morning, Miss Ritchie," he declared, "Strawberry crepes?"

Roxanne's eyes widened in delight. "Sure?" she replied, wondering what exactly warranted strawberry crepes on a Wednesday, "What's the occasion?"

Minion flashed her a toothy grin. "Sir has decided to do the beta test the day after tomorrow. Which means there's a lot to get ready, so why not strawberry crepes?"

Roxanne was a little flummoxed by the fish's logic, but smiled in honest pleasure at the idea that they were far enough along to beta test on Friday. Friday at noon, to be exact, when Metro Man usually indulged in an unbroken hour of relaxation with sound-muffling ear phones and a masseuse. There were other times they could have chosen from, but sadly, most banks didn't operate after 5 pm.

Roxanne couldn't mask her delight when Minion slid the golden brown crepe onto her plate, pouring what appeared to be homemade strawberry sauce liberally over the thin, soft, butter-scented pancake. "This looks amazing," she told him, earning another toothy grin. She wrinkled her nose suddenly, "Minion," she asked, "What do you eat?"

The fish shrugged his fins at her, letting the gorilla suit hang limply. "Fish flakes, mostly," he admitted. "I have a weakness for bacon, but not all of us have Sir's metabolism."

Roxanne smiled sympathetically. "I was just thinking that myself," she looked down at her plate, "Usually I'm a fruit and yogurt for breakfast girl."

"We can get that in," Minion told, rapidly whipping out a harvest-themed pad of paper and a pencil, scratching the words down with his awkwardly huge gorilla hands. The writing was tiny and precise. It was amazing the minute control he had over the suit's giant hands.

"So you need grocery lists, at least," she observed.

Minion looked up at her, a conspiratorial look on his face. "Not all of us have Sir's memory, either," he agreed. His expression changed fractionally, as if he were hesitant to broach something. He shook his little fish body as if to cancel out the thought. "Sir asked me to show you to the library today," he continued in a light tone, "He wants you to brush up on your science knowledge. There are also computers there, if you wish to research anything or refresh your programming skills." Again, the fish looked hesitant.

Roxanne swallowed the last bite of Minion's latest culinary masterpiece. The questions she'd stumbled upon during her morning's reverie resurfaced in her mind. Ten to one, whatever Minion was so hesitant to say had to do with Megamind, so she might as well collect whatever relevant information she could get from him while she teased out whatever this tidbit was too. "Lead the way," she announced, pushing her empty plate back on the counter, "I'm curious now."


The library wasn't a large room. In fact, it was roughly the same size as Roxanne's living room back home. What set it apart as a library, however, were the wall-to-wall shelves, literally stuffed with books. Several desks sat at odd angles in the middle of the room, home to several different computers and laptops. It seemed that nearly every major company had undergone at least some scrutiny. Two overstuffed leather arm chairs sat tilted in corners so that books could still be accessed behind and around them.

Roxanne wandered around the shelves, surprised by the variety of genres. It seemed that Megamind had dabbled in nearly all of them. The number of science textbooks, most of them highly advanced, would have looked more at home in a university bookstore than a private library. Roxanne chewed on her lower lip, "Has he read all of these?"

"Indeed, Miss Ritchie," Minion confirmed. He hastened to one of the computer tables, gesturing to a small stack of books. "He also picked these out for you as decent introductory texts. He attempted to aim for more practical applications and popular science books so you would be less likely to get bored."

Roxanne gave a small smile. It was strange, the ways Megamind would be considerate. He seemed to expect her to attempt to master nearly as many things as he had, at least to a level where she could contribute to his work. At the same time, Roxanne had never had anyone believe so strongly in her intelligence or abilities. It was… strange, but also nice. Like being given a task that seemed horribly difficult, but being told that not only was it within your grasp, but also that it wasn't really as hard as you perceived. Like perhaps there were shortcuts that would become evident.

Roxanne picked up the first text, an introduction to the origins of the universe. She stared at the space-themed drawings on the cover. She looked thoughtful for a moment. "Minion," she began, catching the fish before he could leave, "Can you tell me about him?" Her voice sounded strangely pleading in her ears, and hopelessly ambiguous. "I mean," she continued, "About his... people. Like," she struggled to find a way to get the information she really wanted without being blunt about it, "Humans have babies, but they're basically entirely helpless for months. It usually takes a year before they begin to talk, and even longer before they can walk. It just seems… if he can remember so much more, that maybe there is more to his whole experience." As she spoke, she found herself admitting that really, she was curious about all of it. Her interest was honestly sincere. She's spent most of the past few years applying human ideas and expectations to Megamind, expecting his life among humans to have shaped him more than anything else. Now, she was less certain. The differences between them were becoming more evident and she was unsure how deep the differences ran, and what effect they might actually have had.

Minion's face held a mixture of uncertainty and relief. "Well," Minion began, "It's true that their children advanced at a much more rapid pace than human children do. I mean, it was accepted that intelligent thought began in the womb. If a baby was born without their eyes wide open, studying the world with curiosity, everyone knew something was wrong."

Roxanne felt a wave of relief run through her body. If thought began in the womb, than the baby was born the normal way. Which suggested that conception was probably done the normal way. Live birth generally suggested some form of sex, which required something to… well… Roxanne felt a blush spread across her cheeks. Maybe she was looking at this too analytically. The short answer was that her concerns from that morning were almost definitely unfounded. Which brought her a very awkward sense of relief.

A sudden thought struck her. "Wait," she paused Minion, "How do… how did the mothers give birth with," she gestured to her head, "I mean… big?" She stumbled over the idea, her eyes wide. Human childbirth was supposed to be painful enough. If Syx was anything to go by, his people were slighter than humans… the geometry of child birth was throwing her for a loop.

Minion stared at her for a long moment. He seemed to be contemplating something. "I'm not sure I should be the one telling you this," he began, "But then again, Sir tends to ignore…" he trailed off with a sigh. "Sir doesn't have bones the same way you do, Miss Ritchie," he paused gauging her reaction. When she didn't look particularly shocked or horrified, he continued, his narration picking up speed from the tentative introduction he had begun with. "His skeletal system is composed of something much closer in structure to what you would call cartilage. Only, the parts that need reinforcing are more of a crystalline multi-mineral and protein matrix composite. It's part of why he heals so much faster than humans. When his "bones" break, they are able to knit themselves back together. And because they are less hard in the first place, they have a bit more give to them."

Roxanne stared at Minion in fascination. "That makes… sense," she said haltingly, "He does seem to take a licking and keep on ticking a lot."

Minion nodded. He had that strangely hesitant look again from earlier. "Miss Ritchie," he began, "There is something else you really should know about Sir. I know this is something he should tell you himself, but I have the feeling that its one thing he probably wouldn't, and that's why…" he swallowed hard. "The thing about his people," Minion continued, "They weren't human. They evolved in a completely different environment and to completely different conditions and with a completely different set of expectations for themselves and their societies. It wasn't just things like there was just less calcium on our home planet, it was also things like…" he seemed to struggle for words. "They have a lot more intelligence to play with, and a different way of reacting emotionally to things. For his people, its normal to become fascinated by something. To spend time figuring out absolutely every tiny thing about it. Its how they worked, but its also how they thought. They… tended to fixate." He shrugged his fins, "Sir is no exception to that. By human standards, he tends to get obsessed with certain things, and while I understand that is supposed to be unhealthy in humans… its just normal for him. He's supposed to be like that."

Roxanne watched Minion carefully. Everything he was saying made sense, but she wasn't entirely confident she knew where it was going.

Minion sighed. "Several years ago, I realized that one of the things he'd fixated on was you, Miss Ritchie. And for the longest time, that was fine, because you were just the kidnappee. There wasn't any real expectation of you aside from simply being here." Minion looked thoroughly uncomfortable, "Sir has a remarkable ability to compartmentalize, even for his species." Minion looked downright miserable actually, now that Roxanne looked closely. "When you… when you crossed that line out of the compartment of kidnappee and into… well, into the one for potential mates," Minion grimaced, "It became a lot more confusing, but still manageable. Because as long as you were oblivious or not interested, I don't think he would have acted and so his fixation would have stayed… distanced."

Roxanne felt horrible for Minion. He looked so awkward, but whatever he was trying to say was evidently so important that he felt obliged to push through. He waved his fins hopelessly, struggling to find a way to phrase things he obviously didn't want to think about in relation to his master. "When you… began to return his interest, you probably jumped compartments again."

Roxanne watched the fish warily. "Which means what?" she finally asked, her voice sounding strangely hollow in her ears.

Minion really did look miserable, his fins drifting at his sides, his eyes looking everywhere but at her. "There's a very good chance that Sir won't be able to un-fixate from you," Minion finally met her gaze. "I realize that its normal for humans to change mates and to sometimes leave the ones they have. They get bored or have troubles they can't work through. This just… almost never happened. Sir's parents, for example, they were just so fascinated by each other I don't think they ever would have been able to even survive being separated. They would have gone to the ends of the galaxy to find one another." He fidgeted, "Sir is very dangerously close to feeling that way for you, Miss Ritchie. I just thought you should know what this entails before you encouraged him too much."

Roxanne felt her mouth go dry. "I don't understand," she said suddenly, "What do you mean by not being able to un-fixate?"

Minion sighed, "I mean, if you left, he might not be able to let you go."

Roxanne blinked. "That's not… unheard of here," she continued, feeling like she was missing something, "People say they can't let go of someone. It's an emotional thing but..."

Minion seemed to squirm, "No, Miss Ritchie, I mean, he physically might not be able to let you leave him. There's a good chance that if you left, he would simply come get you, wherever you were, and bring you back to him. There would be nowhere you could go where he wouldn't find you. There would be nothing you could do, without him finding out." Minion flapped his fins, struggling to express the absolute weight of this to her, "If it meant keeping you by force, he might simply have to do it. He wouldn't be able to understand on an emotional level. It might be wrong for you, but it would seem right to him. Just imagine the full force of his schemes and plots and inventive capabilities focused entirely on returning you to him."

Roxanne felt herself go slightly pale. Minion was right about this sounding absolutely wrong from a human perspective. Without Minion's explanation, she would have labeled such a thing as unhealthy obsession, bordering on insanity. Even trying to balance the fact that a differently evolved nervous system and different social needs might create such a system, it still seemed… extreme. "You would… you would really let him keep me against my will?" she asked Minion. He had never seemed the type to do such a thing. Always concerned for her well-being, he had always struck her as strangely innocent and gentle.

Minion stared at her miserably. "Miss Ritchie," he confided, sounding strangely certain, "If it made Sir happy, I would keep you here against your will right now."

Roxanne was struck by the force of the words, and by the depth of his devotion. It was obvious that he disagreed with the whole idea. He evidently felt miserable about the whole situation – one which was, deep down, a product of simple culture clash. Yet, he sounded certain that he would not waver. His master's happiness and well-being came before his own moral certitude and peace of mind. She gazed at Minion in a new light, a strange respect rising wildly within her. It was so strange. Up until now, she had never imagined loving someone with her whole entire heart or being. She had never imagined literally being a slave to another person, bound by ties of devotion and love.

Floored by this new information, Roxanne felt herself re-assessing. What exactly did it mean to love someone like Syx? What did mean to be loved by him?

Just how far was she willing to go with this game… if it really, literally meant playing for keeps?