Hello! I'm sorry, I know it took me more than a week to update but RL got in the way... I had this big project at university and it totally worn me out, that's excuse number one... excuse number two: sometimes, while reading my reviews I click on my readers profiles to know what they read or like etc... so I can have an idea of my audience and I came across with this amazing fic called Bella Hale byJulesSC, I've never read something like it! I never thought I'll enjoy a fic about a six years old Bella and Vamp Edward so much! So the story got me hooked and I couldn't stop reading until the last chapter.
I also wanted to mention something, I know there are a lot of things unclear, i.e. Why hasn't anyone talked to Tanya? What happened that night? Did Emmet and Jasper just left Edward in the street? What happened after Bella left? I've left this things unclear in purpose and the answers will came in time, be patient, I write every word for a reason. Don't worry!
I also wanted to say that I writing two outtakes for this story both in BPOV, one about the delivery, so you can understand her a little bit more and another one about the wedding day fiasco. There won't be a part of the story because I don't like it when authors change POV. But I think these outtakes are necesary and I'll post them in the future.
Again thank you very much to my awesome beta Cattinson! you are amazing!
All characters belong to SM, I just like to make their lives a little harder ;)
Chapter 11. Everybody Hurts pt. 2
"Everybody Hurts" – Avril Lavingne
Don't know, don't know if I can do this on my own
Why do you have to leave me?
It seems, I'm losing something deep inside of me
Hold on, on to me
Now I see
Now I see
Everybody hurts some days
It's ok to be afraid
Everybody hurts
Everybody screams
Everybody feels this way
And it's ok
La di da di da
It's ok
It feels like nothing really matters anymore
When you're gone
I can't breathe
And I know you never meant to make me feel this way
This can't be happening
"THAT BITCH!" Rosalie screeched.
All hell broke loose in the living room.
"Rose!" I yelled.
"Oh my god how could she?" Rose continued in disbelieve.
"Oh Edward! Oh my god!" Mom cried, Alice was still in shock, she wasn't uttering a word... which was odd. Jasper wasn't any better but I could see the surprise in his face.
"What's going on?" Emmet asked clueless trying to calm a fuming Rosalie by patting her back.
"Please Edward, tell me we misunderstood… tell me she didn't actually do that?" Rosalie continued anger deep within her voice.
"But… how did this happened? Did you know?" Mom asked between sobs.
Her face was glowing.
Fuck.
"Can everybody please calm down? Dad?" I asked dad for help while my family still threw questions at me.
Carlisle stood from the couch and motioned everybody to shut up but my family being my family didn't listen of course. I groaned while pulling at my hair.
"Shit man, what did you do when you saw her? Ho-" Jasper asked.
"How could she? Is she insane?" Rosalie continued to spit things into the air she stood up abruptly and started pacing.
"Who is insane? What the hell?" Emmet continued and I rolled my eyes.
Is he serious?
"Oh my god! I have…? Am I a…?" Mom couldn't end her sentences, she was too overwhelmed, but I could see something glitter in her eyes… hope?
"Dude… is this for real?" Jasper asked still incredulous.
"Fuck! Can everybody calm down? You promised you wouldn't talk until I was finished!" I yelled at no one in frustration.
"Why would Bella call her son Andrew?" Emmet suddenly asked and everyone became quiet.
…
…
Was he really this dense?
I think it had something to do with all the boxing he did in high school, yeah… that must be it because as far as I was concerned mom never dropped him. We stared at him for a whole minute with dumfounded looks until it finally downed on him, his eyes going wide.
…
…
…
"HOLY SHIT! YOU'RE A DAD!" He screamed in surprise pointing in my direction with one finger and I couldn't help myself but chuckle without humor at this ridiculous situation.
Everybody turned to me then, waiting for me to acknowledge it, to say the words out loud. I haven't really said it.
…
…
"Yes… I'm a dad." I said and I finally broke, rivers fell from my eyes but at the same time a wide smile spread over my face. What else could I do or say? I was happy, for the first time in years I could smile a genuinely smile. Even if the pain was still present, -but that wasn't news- at least I could smile now, I had a reason to. When mom saw me she wrapped her arms around me.
"OH MY GOD! I'm a grandma!" Mom cried in a mixture of joy and pain.
"Yes, you are." I whisper cried hugging her back, and then I let her go and turned to Alice who had still to say something.
"Alice?" She was looking down, her face a mixture of confusion, pain, regret, sadness, hope… like she couldn't decide on something. She didn't know how or what to feel or what to think. Then Jasper broke the silence.
"Edward… what does this mean? I mean… did she… did she intended for you… you know?... to never know?" He stuttered in disbelieve, he knew Bella and it was hard for him to believe she would do something like that.
"I could kill her right know. That selfish lit-" Rosalie spat before I could say something and I silenced her with a glare.
"Rose!" I chastised and then turned to Jasper "No, of course not… she didn't want to keep them from me forever." I argued back but Rosalie wouldn't have it, and she spoke again.
"Please Edward, be realistic… don't defend her, just because you have your ass whipped it doesn't mean tha-"
"They have my fucking name Rose! They are Cullens, stop bitching for once and listen first!" I said scowling at her and with that she finally shut her fucking mouth, staring at me wide eyed for a second before composing herself and scowling back at me.
…
"They do?" Alice asked surprised in a small voice, finally saying something and I turned to her, her eyes were red with unshed tears.
"Marie Esme and Andrew Charles Cullen" I confirmed.
"But… why didn't she say anything?" She whimpered. At this I just looked down fighting the wave of pain that threatened to drown me and everyone became quiet sensing my distress.
"She… she said… she said tha-that she needed time… to face me. That she wasn't ready." I said in a small voice. Everyone remained quiet, even Rosalie down casted her eyes.
"Edward…" Jasper continued "you realize she still shouldn't have done that… right?"
"Of course… but, even if I don't agree with what she did… I understand why she did it… I mean, I…" I stopped mid sentence and pulled at my hair again in frustration with both hands, looking down between my feet. I couldn't bring myself to say the words, every time I thought of what I did I could only think of what I lost because of my stupidity and that hurt like a motherfucker "what I mean is that I understand that she needed time, what I did… she couldn't just come back… she needed to heal… Do I make sense? I don't absolve her… but I understand it… or I'm trying to."
…
Jasper looked at me in the eye for a few seconds and then he nodded once. I dried my tears with the back of my hands and cleared my throat, trying to sound sure of myself… like my old self, I needed to be my old self for them to protect them, to protect them from pain and sorrow, they deserved better… My kids, they deserve only happiness and I was determined to make that happen.
"So, that's why I wanted you to listen to me first… Bella and I… we are in a very delicate situation, so I beg you to not make this any harder on us." I said sending a pointed look towards Rosalie who went to sit by Emmet "We still need to figure out a lot of things and now…" I took a deep breath and let it out slowly "I'm asking you for your help… I know I haven't been the best… son, brother or friend in years… and I probably don't deserve this but now I beg you… I'm asking you for your help. Please, don't judge… I still don't even know how everything happened and Bella and I still have to clear a bunch of things and we are not in the best terms… we can hardly have a conversation without turning it into a quarrel after 2 minutes, but we are willing to try for them. I just ask you to be on your best behavior… for them. They are innocents in this whole mess and I don't want them to stress over family issues. Please, if not for me think of them… they are the most important thing in my life now, you have no idea how wonderful they are… they own me completely and I don't wanna loose them. They are everything I have and they are so taken to Bella that it wouldn't end up well if they sense the… tension in our family… after all it's also theirs, you are also their family… you are all their uncles and aunts… and pops and nana in your case." I said looking at my parents, mom was clutching my father's hand for dear life to contain what I was sure now was pure joy.
"Of course Edward… you don't have to ask. We are here for you, son." Carlisle spoke for all of them. I nodded and turned to Alice, she was eyeing me, trying to make sense of my words.
…
…
"Edward…" She started after a too long minute "I know I treated you awful in the past, I know I judged you and blamed you for what you did… which I still think was your fault, but… I know I should have supported you better, after the whole chaos passed, I saw the pain you went through, I know how much you regretted what happen I know you didn't mean to do it, and still I walked away, I should have been your sister, be there for you which I wasn't…I won't make the same mistake, if you ask me to be on your side… I will. I'll support any decision you make and I'll try to help you this time. Bella shouldn't have done that… but, I guess I kind of get it too. I guess… what I'm trying to say is that, I can't help to feel a little… anger towards her because I saw what you went through…. and as a sister it killed me and to know all this time she hide something like this from you it's horrible, what she did was wrong but, as Bella's… friend I know her, I understand her way of thinking… her way of dealing with things, how she acts. I know her, and I can only guess how much pain she must have gone through to do something like that. " I grimaced, I had thought the same thing "So I get it too, she must have had her reasons so I won't choose sides, I'll be here for you and I won't judge her. Both of you made mistakes, and it's up to you to fix this mess, not us."
"Thank you." I choked and she gave me a small smile. Alice's words meant everything to me our relationship had been so damaged because of what I did to her best friend and hearing her say that brought me hope. If Alice could see what I meant, what I tried to explain them, it brought me hope that in the end things would turn right. Some way or another. Andrew left a big hole in me, he was my twin brother, we did everything together and told us anything, we were best friends, after he passed away even though no one would ever replace him, Alice took his role as my confident. When she turned against me after Bella walked out the door, even if I was too out of my mind to care about anything but her, Alice turning against me was what finally set me in my misery. So hearing her say that she supported me and my wishes of no one making this anymore difficult lifted an enormous weight that I didn't know I was carrying on my shoulders.
So, I reach out and hugged her. I couldn't remember the last time I did that. I think it was when I woke up in the hospital and she threw herself crying at me. Glad that I was alive.
I kissed her spiky hair and pulled away, lightly rubbing her belly. It was the first time I did that and she chuckled lightly. She placed her hand over mine over her belly.
"This is Camille" She said and I laughed, god it felt good to laugh "and she can't wait to meet her broody uncle." She teased and I rolled my eyes at her but still smiled a wide smile to her and then turned to the rest of my family who had witnessed our little heart to heart conversation. They were all smiling at us, well Rosalie wasn't but at least she didn't look like Godzilla anymore. It was her who spoke next.
"I'm sorry…" Now that caught my attention, she saw my expression and rolled her eyes and huffed "I'm serious I guess I got overwhelmed but you have to understand Edward… I… I've been trying to have kids with Emmet for years…" Emmet took her hand and squeezed it "and to know someone kept their children from their own father on purpose… it just doesn't sit well with me. I stand by what I said I still wanna rip her eyes off for doing what she did… but hearing what Alice said… I can't help but agree with her on some things. It's harder to accept what she did after what we saw you go through even though you deserved her leaving you but it was still hard, you fucked up really bad and I understand her necessity of staying away but in my book nothing justifies what she did. She kept your children from you, that's not right… but I agree on what you said, the kids come first so I won't say anything anymore. I don't promise to be nice to her but I won't lash out at her either. For the kids sake and because I understand this is between you and her." She said with a tone of finality and I let out a sigh of relief. Then I turned to Jasper and Emmet, Jasper was serious a contemplative look on his face and Emmet… well, he was just being Emmet, grinning like an idiot.
"I reserve my opinion in the matter, Alice is right this is between you and her… So I'll just be your friend and support any decision you make." Jasper said firmly then mom spoke.
"I'm just happy that you are happy, I don't care about the rest." I kissed her cheek.
"So, when are we meeting the little Edwardians?" Emmet asked and I laughed at his silliness. The tension in the room lifted.
"Not yet, I'm afraid." I answered.
"What? Why? I want to meet my grandsons!" Mom demanded and I took her hand and squeezed it, her eyes softened.
"I'm sorry mom, but I don't want to overwhelm them. There are a lot of changes coming for them. I don't want to stress them over meeting a bunch of strangers too."
"But we are not strangers, we are their family." She pouted and I immediately thought of Andrew and chuckled.
"What?" she asked.
"Andrew… he got the Platt's pout too." I informed her and her eyes brightened as a wide smile spread over her face.
"Really?" She squealed and I laughed again "Oh my god! What else, tell me more about them!" She demanded again.
"Well… Marie is pretty shy" I turned to look at dad remembering when he met them "but she is pretty intuitive and smart." I smiled.
"And according to Bella she got Edward's brains." Dad added teasingly but I smiled proudly.
"Yeah, she is one pretty little Einstein. As for Andrew… god he is going to be trouble, but he is so funny and talkative, and mischievous… his personality is so much like Andrew's but he is a total momma's boy, you should see him interact with Bella, and he is kind of manipulative too… like you sis" I bumped my shoulder with Alice and she giggled "he'll just have to pout at Bella and she'll give in like that." I said snapping my fingers. Everyone was listening to me with rapt attention, smiling and awing at everything I told them, mom was crying happy tears at my enthusiasm and happiness and Alice listened in wonder, even Rosalie smiled through the whole thing.
"They couldn't be more different though" I continued "For instance Marie likes mashed potatoes while Andrew prefers French fries. Also Bella told them about me too, a lot. So Marie wants to learn to play the piano and Andrew wants to play the guitar, like me." I said proudly "Also he wants to become a doctor like me and pops" I said looking at dad who laughed remembering Andrew's logic at just making him a doctor without going to school first, but I could see his reasoning though… it was dad's hospital after all, he could do anything he wanted "while Marie wants to be a princess" I chuckled "she wants to have her own castle on her own island with a big tower like Rapunzel's but she wants to be a vet too."
"Oh my god!" Alice squealed, yeah… she was coming around "And how are they like… who do they look like? You or Bella?" Alice asked then with curious happy eyes.
"Well, they have my hair color." I said
"Poor kids." Emmet piped in but I ignored him.
"But they look like you, especially Marie." I told mom and I swear her face went brighter than the sun "which I guess it means they look like me. They both have your eye color but with Bella's shape. Andrew is just like me when I was his age."
"Really?" She asked in wonder.
"Yep." I said popping the p.
"Oh, please Edward! I wanna meet them, don't be a bad brother!" Alice whined and pouted.
Shit, I hated that pout.
"I'm sorry Alice… just give me a few weeks, when Bella comes to see the houses."
"What?" Rosalie asked surprised "She is moving here?" I guess she didn't expect that.
"Yeah, she agreed to move back. She works from home anyways so it won't be a problem with her work and well… it makes more sense. She was in Ottawa just because me." I grimaced.
"But, she agreed that easily?" Rosalie persisted.
"Well…" Shit, how was I going to tell them about Marie's condition?
"What? What aren't you telling us?" Alice asked me to continue and I turned to dad for help.
"Well… here is the thing" He started "There was… a complication during Bella's pregnancy…" everybody stiffened "they were born premature… barely seven months into the pregnancy when Bella's placenta detached." I heard mom gasp and Alice whimpered while her hands flew instinctively to her belly, Jasper who was on the armchair next to her wrapped her arm around her shoulders in assurance.
"What happened then?" Jasper asked and I spoke.
"Andrew was fine, he just spend a few days in the incubator but… but Marie… she had some problems… she had Bronchopulmonary Dysplasia because her lungs weren't… developed completely yet and she spend a few weeks with oxygen therapy, the doctor told Bella that she would be fine, that she didn't need to worry and it did go fine, but a few months later… she developed a Pulmonary Hypertension."
"What? What the fuck is that? And she didn't call you?" Rosalie screeched but I threw her a glare making her remember her promise, after apologizing I continued.
"It's not as… bad as it sounds, there is no high risk… for now, I already talked to her doctor and I'm taking her case. I'm taking care of her, that's the main reason why Bella agreed to coming back, that and to make things easier. Also, I think she feels kind of guilty… because she kept them from me all this time… she really didn't intend to keep them from me forever."
"But… will Marie be alright?" Mom asked.
"With the adequate treatment and nutrition, she must be. The pressure is not too high, so we expect her to have a normal life, obviously with a few limits but nothing radical." I appeased her.
"Wow, this changes things a lot." Jasper said.
"Yes, that's the main reason why I need your support, I don't want to stress Marie, she is such a sweetheart and the gentlest soul… she worries about everything and everyone and she's very perceptive… no joking she is really smart and she could easily figure out if anything is going wrong between us."
"We already told you Edward, don't worry… we won't make it harder on you or Bella, both of you have our support." Dad said and I gave him a grateful look.
"Thank you." I said.
After that we moved to the dining room for brunch and Mrs. Cope started to bring the food to the table. Of course the only conversation through the whole thing was about my pretty little angels. Actually, now that I think of, I was the only one who talked, my family just kept asking things and I was more than glad to oblige. I described every inch of them, every stray of hair and every toe. At some point, I brought out my phone and showed them the picture of them and Bella on the swing, the face of my mother was something I would gladly pay millions just to see it again. I could tell what caught her attention more… Andrew… and I knew who she was thinking of the moment she saw him.
"Oh my god Edward, they are so beautiful… it's such a lovely picture." Mom cried happily. But even though she was ecstatic of being a grandma and to the prospective of meeting them soon and wash them in toys and sweets, I could see the pain; her pain for me and for what she knew was ahead of me.
"Let me see! Let me see!" Alice demanded and snatched –after a small quarrel between them- the phone from mom, when she finally saw the picture she gasped and started to squeal and cry at the same time. How was that even possible? Hormones… I guess.
"Awww Edward! They are soo cute! And they do look like you!" Alice beamed at me and I smiled proudly at them.
"Wow Eddie boy! They look like ginger smurfs!" Emmet boomed peering over Alice's shoulder.
"Hey! I made those!" I berated him playfully and he laughed.
"Yeah I can tell, you literally crapped them! Andrew even has your weird excuse as a hair!" He laughed and I couldn't help but join him.
"Yeah, shit… poor kid, but still… they are perfect." I smiled proudly lifting my chin.
My kids are perfect.
It went like this the rest of the day and before I knew it, it was 8 pm already. I berated myself for forgetting about the hour and excused myself for a minute and went up to my old room. Once there I took my phone out of my pocket, and hoped they weren't asleep already. Bella answered the phone after the first ring.
"Hello?" She answered a little agitated and I frowned.
"Hi, it's me. Edward."
"Good god" she said in relieve "I thought you had forgot… they were waiting, Marie was forcing herself to stay awake." She said.
"I'm sorry I'm at my parent's house… I lost track of time. Why didn't you call if Marie was waiting for me?" I asked
"Uhm… I don't know, I didn't want to… intrude? I didn't know if you were busy."
…
"Bella, it's ok… if they want to talk to me they can call at anytime. Don't worry about that."
"Uhm… ok, thanks… uhm so, you are at you parents?"
"Yes."
"You told them." She guessed and I nodded before remembering she couldn't see me.
"Yes, yes I did."
"How did it go?" She asked worriedly. "Should I expect Rosalie with an electric saw anytime soon?" She tried to joke but I could still hear the uncertainty in her voice and I laughed without humor.
"Don't worry about her… it went fine, better than expected actually, but of course they were surprised."
"Yeah, I suppose…"
…
…
…
"So, you wanna say good night to them?" She asked after an awkward silence. God, we used to be so carefree, it had always been so easy between us, we were made for each other, I still believe that we are, and to think we had ended like this… distant, careful, insecure, conversations that lasted no more that 2 minutes… how did we end up like this?
Oh yeah…
I fucked up.
"Yeah, yes… please." I said awkwardly.
"I'll go and get them."
"Ok… ehm, Bella?"
"Yes?"
"What were you doing?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, when you answered you sounded… agitated?" God, was it weird I was asking that?
"Oh, I was chasing Andrew." She said exasperated. Now that caught my attention.
"What did he do now?" I asked chuckling lightly.
"He doesn't wanna bathe… He says a pirate doesn't take baths." I could literally imagine her rolling her eyes, with one hand on her hip and shaking her head. "Silly kid." She laughed lightly and a tear fell from my eye at the sound. I cleared it with my left hand.
"Do you want me to talk to him?" I asked hopefully.
"Good luck" She said and heard her talk to Marie on the background.
"Honey, guess who it is?" Bella asked in a happy mommy's voice
"Daddy?" She asked excitedly and I felt more tears fall on my cheeks.
My pretty little girl, she was waiting for me.
"Daddy?" Marie answered the phone.
"Hey princess? How is my pretty little girl doing?"
"Hi daddy! I'm fine! Mommy took us to the park today!" She cheered and I marveled at the sound of her voice. I missed her.
"She did? And did you enjoy it?"
"Yes! I love the park, I took Rapunzel with me and mommy got me two ice creams!" she told me happily.
"Really? Wow, that's pretty amazing sweetie, I didn't get any today."
"You didn't?" She asked in concern.
"Nope" I said popping the p "but it's Ok, nana made me chocolate chip pancakes." I said easing her worries. She was so selfless.
"Mommy know how to do those, I love them lots."
"I know honey. They are great right?"
"Yes, mommy makes the best chocolate chip pancakes in the world." She said happily.
I couldn't agree more.
I stepped out of our room, ready to go to the clinic when the most delicious smell assaulted me, and of course me being me… I followed it. Just as I stepped into the kitchen, I found my pretty girl serving a pile of pancakes that rivaled the CN Tower on the kitchen island in front of me. She looked up sensing me and threw what had to be the sweetest most beautiful smile on earth to me. Sometimes I couldn't believe how lucky I was to have her in my life, I didn't deserve her… she was so perfect.
"Hey pretty boy, breakfast is ready." She beamed at me.
"I can tell, so… am I supposed to eat all these by myself?" I asked as I sat on a barstool eyeing the great pile of pancakes.
"Yup, you are too skinny pretty boy." She admonished.
"Well, that's kind of your fault with all the extra activities you have me up to every night." I winked and she blushed.
Yes! I loved the fucking blush.
"So now it's my fault?"She asked rounding the island and coming to stand in front of me, my hands found her waist pulling her closer and went down to the back pockets of her pajama shorts palming her ass, her arms wrapping around my neck "what about your wandering hands at 2 in the morning?" she asked cocking a brow at me, I squeezed her ass with said hands making her giggle.
"See? It's your fault. You are so irresistible."
She snorted and pulled from me, turned around and head to the coffee maker. I pouted at the sudden cold.
"So, what is this?" I asked skeptical really looking at the pancakes for the first time "Chickenpox pancakes?" I asked playfully and she laughed at my lame joke.
"You are so silly pretty boy, sometimes I wonder if they didn't mess with the IQ results."
"Hardy-har" I threw her a playful glare.
"Just eat honey, you are not going to regret it." She winked.
How right she was.
"Daddy? Are you there?" Marie's voice brought me back from my memories and I focused on the present.
"Yes honey, sorry… I'm here. What were you saying?"
"I was asking when you coming."
"Next weekend sweetie, I have to work all week, I'll be with you next Saturday." I smiled to myself, I couldn't wait.
"How many days is that?"
"Five."
"I can count that!" I laughed wholeheartedly.
"Yes you can, you are so smart princess." I praised her.
Then I heard Bella in the background.
"Marie, its late honey… you need to rest, tell good night to daddy, Andrew wants to talk to him too."
"Daddy, mommy says I have to go to sleep now… but I don't want to, I wanna talk with you."
A knot formed in my throat.
"Mommy is right honey, you need to sleep. I promise I'll call earlier tomorrow Ok?"
…
…
"Ok, I love you daddy… I miss you."
"I love you too beautiful, always."
"Promise?"
"I swear princess."
"Ok, love you." She whimpered and I took a deep breath.
"Love you more angel. Sweet dreams."
"G'night daddy."
The line went silent for a second and then I heard Andrew's high pitched voice.
"Dad! Guess what?" I chuckled.
"Hi kiddo, what's up?"
"I got a new scar today!"
"What?" I asked bemused, was there something wrong with him?
"YES! At the park, I fell from the slide."
"A slide? Are you alright?" I asked worriedly. How the hell did he fell from the slide?
"Aye!"
"What?" I asked chuckling.
"I'm a'right."
"How did you fell?"
"Dunno."
"Ok?" I laughed. "Where did you get your scar?"
"On my hand!" He cheered.
God, I needed to ask Bella how long Andrew's obsessions lasted… by this rate he was going to look like Freddy Krueger by the end of the month.
"Andrew, you need to be careful honey… you could get a serious injury."
"Sorry daddy."
"Mommy told me you didn't want to bathe, is that true?"
"Pirates don't bathe!" He stated happily.
"Yes but, don't you wanna be a Doctor when you grow up?"
"Yes, I wanna work with you and pops."
"Well, then here is your first lesson, are you ready?" I said in playful seriousness.
"Yes!" He answered brightly.
"Doctors are always clean… they need to be clean so the wont pass any diseases or viruses to their patients."
…
…
…
"They do?" He asked in a small voice.
"Yes, so it's ok if you wanna play that you are a Pirate, but in real life you can't behave like one. You need to be careful while playing in the park and you need to bathe when mommy says so."
…
…
"Ok, only'f you say so."
"Thanks for understanding kiddo. See? You are a smart kid, I'm proud of you."
"You are?"
"Of course, you are an amazing kid Andrew… and I love you."
"I love you too daddy… I wish you were here."
The fucking knot formed again.
"I wish I was there too kiddo, I miss you and your sister so much."
"We going to be together soon?"
…
…
"I hope so kiddo, nothing could make me happier."
I heard Bella on the background.
"Sweetie, say goodbye to daddy… it's late, you can talk to him tomorrow."
"Mommy says it's late, but I'm no tired."
"You should listen to mommy, it is getting late and you still need to shower and get in your pjs, right?"
"Yes, I love you daddy… when are we going to see you again?"
"In five days kiddo."
"How long is that?"
"Open up your palm… look at all your fingers?"
"Yes."
"Well, that's five fingers… that's how long you'll have to wait."
"It's not long."
"No it isn't, and I promise I'll call every night and you'll see the time will fly, before you know it I'll be with you."
"Promise?"
"Promise."
"Ok, love you daddy."
"Love you more kiddo. Remember to listen to mommy"
"Ok. Bye."
"Bye baby."
I hung up and stared at the wallpaper of my phone.
My lost family.
A drop landed on the screen and I cleared it with my thumb, then a swift movement caught my eye and I turned to see Alice reclined on the threshold. God only knows how long have she been there but judging by her face long enough. She came and sat next to me on my bed and hugged me. I hid my face on her shoulder and hugged her back and the cries, emotions, feelings and everything that I've been holding up since when I bumped into her in the park came out with such a force that I ended up sobbing everything out. Alice patted my back and soothed me while I bared my soul to her. I told her everything, how I felt, how much I loved them… since the moment I saw their beautiful green eyes, how I loved them in that instant, how I missed them, how they had woken me, how the changed me, the confusion, the frustration, how much I wanted to hate her but no matter how much I tried I couldn't, that I still loved her like the first day, that no matter what she did I'll keep that only promise to her. I'll love her forever she was my everything, my forever.
I told her my fears and worries, how I feared of not being good enough for them, to fuck up again. I feared not being the father they deserved and I confessed that I had no clue on how to proceed with my situation with Bella, how it pained me to see how much she had changed, how much we had changed. But above all, I told her how I still didn't know how to live without her, I needed to because of them and I was going to find a way, I had to but I had no clue on how to, I needed her.
"Shh… Edward, it's Ok."
"No is not Alice, I seriously don't know how to do this, and honestly… I'm scared, what if I fuck up again?" I sobbed
Fuck! I was sick of crying!
"No you won't."
"How can you be so sure?"
"Because you are afraid, that means you really care for their well being and because you are afraid you are going to do everything with extra care, you are going to be a great dad Edward, from what I heard of your conversation with them, you already are."
We remained quiet for a few minutes and I lifted my head, her gaze was unfocused somehow, like thinking over something.
"Alice, what do I do?"
…
…
…
After a moment, she set her bright blue eyes on me.
"Edward, do you really still love her?"
"More than my own life." I said immediately, why did she even ask that?
"Then… fight for her." She said matter-of-factly.
…
…
…
"What?"
"You asked for one more chance, right?"
I nodded.
"Well… here it is.
Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeee leave a reaview! This was an important chapter and I want to know what you guys think! Thank you so much for the ones who reviewed last one, I love to hear about all the different teams! I love that there are as many Team Bella as Team Edward, I love that there's a Team Rosalie too and I think I read one about Team both need tails kicked? Did I read right Bella Donna101? I laughed out loud at that one!
Thank you so much for your support on this story!
Till next time!
Saludos!
tpec
