Holy fudgenuts! I've been gone for a month?! Wow! I'm sorry! The exams had been holding me up! So sorry! Curse you stupid exams! I am now so outdated! Anyways, I've made it up by vowing I would update at least once a week! Hope you guys enjoy!
Happy Reading!
TheBlueBottle
P.S: Valkyrie is 15 or so and Skulduggery is human. (God knows why…)
Valkyrie took out her books out of the locker and elbowed the door shut, twisting the code. Skulduggery had made her go to school ever since there was nothing they could do. If a crisis began while she was in suffering inside the cursed building, he promised that he would fetch her.
Valkyrie sighed and slammed her head on the locker. I hate that frigging used-to-be skeleton…
"Stephanie? You alright?"
She looked up and saw her Math class mate, Jason. He was staring at her as if she was mad.
"Yeah," Valkyrie replied dully, "Just tired…"
Jason raised an eyebrow. "What did you get up to last night?"
Fighting bad guys and jumping off a burning building. "Not much, really but I'm just tired. No questions asked."
"Banging your head on the locker isn't a good solution to get rid of the ti-"
The front doors of the school banged open and there stood…
Fletcher.
"Wassup peeps!"
Valkyrie's eyes bulged out of their sockets as she gaped at him. He was wearing a long, colourful, baggy t-shirt with torn jeans. A peace sign necklace bounced off his chest as he strode in with a slouch. He had a red bandana around his forehead and wore huge sunglasses. He looked like a hippie.
"Fl-Fletcher?!" Valkyrie squeaked.
Fletcher walked in, shooting everyone with his gun-shaped hands. The girls giggled and whispered while eyebrows were raised for the guys. Fletcher reached Valkyrie and pointed his hands at her.
"What's rocking, Stephanie?!"
Valkyrie slapped a hand over her eyes and groaned. She grabbed the hem of his shirt and dragged away from the crowd. When they were out of sight, Valkyrie propped him against the wall.
"What the hell are you doing?!" She snarled.
Fletcher held his hands up in protest. "I was just- just having some fun!"
"You think you could just walk in here and humiliate me?! Well, think again!"
Valkyrie summoned a flame and held it near his hair. He started to squirm.
"Not the hair! Valkyrie! Please! Not the hair!"
"Then get out of here!"
Fletcher pried her hands away before teleporting away without a word. She waited for a moment to make sure he wasn't going to pop up again. After she was satisfied, she picked up her books and trudged off to class. The corridors were empty, she must be late.
She arrived at the English class and knocked on the door. Mr. Stapleburg had his back to her.
"Uhm…sorry I'm late- "Valkyrie began, stepping into the class.
He turned.
"Mr. St-…St…SKULDUGGERY!?"
Skulduggery grinned at her but then turned it into a frown, wagging his finger at her. "And you call the teacher by the name, Stephanie? What have I told you about manners?"
All Valkyrie could do is just stare with disbelief.
The class sniggered and whispered among themselves as she walked backwards, keeping her eyes on her mentor.
What the hell is going on here?! Is there a murderer on the loose? After me?
Valkyrie's thoughts were interrupted when Skulduggery rubbed his hands and addressed the class.
"Alright, class, settle down. I am your substitute for today and I dearly hope that we could work together nicely and smoothly."
The class sniggered again and a girl, who was sitting next to Valkyrie, leaned over and sneered in her ear. "You know this clown, Stephanie? Wow, you must be famous of the stupids! That hippie guy is one of you guys, right?"
Valkyrie gritted her teeth to fight the urge to burn her pretty face. Throughout the lesson, Valkyrie glared at Skulduggery while he "taught" the class. He was cracking up jokes and laughed even though it wasn't funny. He kept shooting Valkyrie winks and the class would wolf-whistle and jeer at her.
At the end, Valkyrie stormed up to Skulduggery's desk.
"Well, what was that?!" She demanded.
Skulduggery looked up innocently. "What was what?"
"Why are you here?! First Fletcher and now you! Explain!"
"There's nothing to explain."
"Then why are you here!?"
"Well…since there's nothing to do, we all thought we'd come and lighten up your school day," Skulduggery said with a shrug.
Valkyrie narrowed her eyes, "What do you mean "we"?! Who else is here?!"
Skulduggery smiled and winked. "You'll see for yourself. Now run along, you'll be next for Ta-…oh ahem, your P.E lesson."
He guided her out the door and gave her a pat on her head before gesturing the next class in. Valkyrie growled and stomped her way to the change rooms.
This is going to be a long, painful, embarrassing day…
She walked into the courts, silently praying that everything would once again be normal. Unfortunately, her prayers weren't answered. There stood Tanith, balancing her sword tip on her finger. Everyone stared with awe. Tanith saw her.
"Heya Val!" She called, flicking the sword and caught it by the staff. She walked up to Valkyrie and gave her a crushing bear-hug. Valkyrie just stayed stiff and let Tanith drop her to her feet.
"What the hell are you doing here!?" Valkyrie hissed, keeping her voice low.
Tanith grinned. "Having fun and making you day!"
With that, she faced the class and placed her arm around Valkyrie who placed her hands on her face.
The lesson wasn't as bad as she thought it would be but still, it was bad enough. The boys were trying to engage Tanith into a conversation and asked for her number. Tanith gave them a number but Valkyrie knew it was a fake. Some even asked Valkyrie if she knew where Tanith lived ever since it looked like they were close.
Valkyrie left 5 minutes early to the bathrooms. She splashed her face with water and calmed herself down.
"Okay, now that's the last of it, " she reassured herself, "Ghastly won't be this immature, he's probably in his shop, too busy to agree to do this…yeah, that's about it."
After a while, she heard people rustling outside. It was break time. She emerged from the bathrooms and went to the cafeteria. Valkyrie could hear some people talking about the new substitute teachers. Some were criticizing, some were just gossiping but others were complimenting and adoring them.
Valkyrie sighed again. At least they won't embarrass me any longer.
She took her tray and stood in the queue, listening to other people's conversation.
"Stephanie!"
Oh no…it can't be!
Valkyrie looked up and saw Ghastly behind the counter in a pink apron and a chef's hat. He was holding a spatula.
"Oh crap…"
"Stephanie!" Ghastly said again. "What would you like to keep yourself strong and healthy as a sheep?"
"Uuuh…isn't it "strong and healthy as a horse?" Nevermind……just a juice…thanks…"
Ghastly placed a juice carton on her tray and winked at her. "A juice for our good 'ol Stephanie, eh?"
She looked around and saw the people in the queue were staring at her with wide, beady, eyes. Valkyrie gestured behind her.
"Uhm, Ghastly, I gotta go," She fumbled quickly, "Queue."
Valkyrie sat in the furthest table, away from everyone. Suddenly, the lights went off and a few people squealed.
Everyone went into a hushed silence, waiting for something to happen.
-CLANK-
Spotlights came on and shined at a group of people. They were standing in a line.
"Oh…my…GOD!!!"
To Valkyrie's horror, the line consisted of people from her world. Mostly everyone. Now, she knew something was wrong.
Skulduggery, Tanith, Ghastly, Fletcher, Kenspeckle, China, Bliss, Guild, Crux, Dusk, Sanguine, Clarabelle, Jack, etc… Everyone.
And they were in hula outfits.
Behind them, there was a banner that read: To Our Dearest Stephanie. Hawaiian music came out of nowhere and they started to dance.
Valkyrie screamed in embarrassment and continuously slammed her head on the table.
"Valkyrie! Valkyrie, stop! Goddammit!"
"Ooow…" she moaned and stopped with the world spinning before her eyes.
Skulduggery kept one hand on the steering wheel and rubbed the dashboard. "What is wrong with you?! Slamming your head on my precious dashboard!?"
Valkyrie stared around dazedly and saw that she was in the Bentley as it sped down the streets. She looked out the window and saw the sea shimmering under the moonlight.
Oh gees, it's just a dream…it's just a dream…
Skulduggery shook his head in mock-sorrow, his dark brown hair swaying. He glanced at her with emerald green eyes and smiled. "Today was a pretty good performance, don't you think?"
Valkyrie said nothing, still trying to shake off the nightmare. She saw a glimpse of pink by her feet and bent down. She picked it up and held it before her. It was a pink apron.
Valkyrie froze. A pink apron.
A scream echoed into the night as the Bentley sped through the forest and the leaves rustled behind them.
Somewhere in the world, far from Ireland, somewhere was laughing maniacally with a laptop, screen scrawled with words, in front of her.
Hehe, evil am I not?
REVEEEEEIIIWWW PWEASE!!!! Just click the little green tab below and say something nice! A lemon cookie to all who review! If you no like-a lemon cookie, you can choose other cookie! JUST REVIEW!!! RIGHT!! NOW!! ………………ahem, excuse me…I'll just go to that corner over there and wait…yeah, that's the best…
