DW: I would like to thank xXBleachluverXx, -Dark-And-Light-Angel-Girl, DetroitBleachWings, Syaoran07, xXNamlessAngelXx, xjakx, RebelAngel91210 and DragonSabre for reviewing. Thanks guys!
Chapter 11: No Doubt It's True Love
The early morning sun was shining through the window and birds were chirping outside joyfully. Overall, it was a very happy and tranquil atmosphere. Despite this, Lucy was not feeling tranquil at all as she lay in bed naked with Natsu.
They had fallen asleep facing each other with their arms wrapped around each other and their bodies pressed firmly together. Lucy dared not move out of fear that she would wake him up. Thus, she merely watched his sleeping face as she thought furiously to herself what she would do next.
She couldn't believe herself. She was angry with herself for going through with this, as there were other ways that she could have obtained the information she needed. She didn't have to degrade herself like this. But in a way she was actually glad that she did this, which was what made her angry most of all. She had actually enjoyed it. That wasn't supposed to have happened. It was meant to be a chore for no other purpose than to obtain information, not a pleasurable experience. She was supposed to have hated it and feel degraded by it, yet she had never felt more alive in her life!
Lucy was absolutely furious with herself. It wasn't just the knowledge of what she had done or the indignity of having enjoyed it; it was what had happened afterwards.
Lucy and Natsu were flushed and panting. They held each other in their arms and were gazing into each other's eyes.
"Oh Natsu…" Lucy said dreamily.
"Lucy…" Natsu said back. They were both panting heavily, exhausted from the passionate actions they just did.
"I…I love you," Lucy said, giving him a kiss.
"I…love you too, Lucy," Natsu said. They kissed and embraced before falling asleep in each other's arms.
Lucy's face was in a deep scowl as she thought of the memory, unable to believe herself. Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! She mentally berated herself. Why on earth had she said that? Natsu was so foggy minded from sex that he would have told her anything! She could have asked him all about everything she needed to know and he would have answered her in an instant without even thinking about it! She could have finished this mission right there! His foggy mind would have spilled all of the information she needed, yet she didn't take advantage of that! Instead she had said "I love you" to him.
Why the hell had she said that? She didn't feel that way about him! She didn't feel that way about anybody! She existed for the purpose of serving the Marauder and the Red Hand with her life, not to experience happiness or love. She didn't believe in love; as far as she was concerned it was only a false emotion brought on by biological urges.
But still…she couldn't deny that there was something that made her inexplicably drawn to him. Perhaps it was a case of solidarity towards him due to his being raised in a similar situation. Perhaps it was her biological urges to mate that may or may not still exist in her. Perhaps she was just sick and wasn't herself. Or maybe it really was love…
No! That was impossible! She didn't believe in love. They are both enemies and both belong in two different worlds. They are different, there was no disputing that. It was impossible for them to ever end up together, even if she really wanted to…
No, no, no! That's not what she meant to think! She didn't want to be with him! She hated him as an enemy, and as a person who had confused her with such an amazing experience and for giving her sensations the likes of which she had never had before.
Argh! There she went again! Thinking of last night as an enjoyable experience! It couldn't be that way! It was degrading to her mastery of skills as an agent for her to have to go through such an experience of primal urges, of giving into crude biological urges, of moaning in intense passion and pleasure…
Woah! What the hell?! She had to stop thinking about this. Everything she thought seemed to lead back to this unnatural attraction to Natsu. No, it wasn't an attraction, it was…she didn't know what, but it sure as hell wasn't anything romantic in nature! Okay, so maybe she did enjoy it on the physical level; after all, the body naturally felt these things when stimulated down there, but that had nothing to do with actual attraction, just lust.
But then why did she experience such amazing feelings from just being in his presence? Even now, with no physical stimuli, she still felt immense gratification from being this close to him, from watching his sleeping features, from feeling their skin pressed together, from the feel of his strong arms holding on to her. What was happening? There was no doubt about it, no matter how much she hated the idea, there was a definite attraction to Natsu. She had no idea of what it was or whether it was real or imaginary, but she certainly knew it was there.
This was bad. She had sworn her loyalty to her master. She couldn't afford to risk becoming emotionally attached to Natsu. She reminded herself that by the end of this mission, Natsu would be dead by her hands. Any relationship she built with him would be pointless, no matter how much gratification she gained from it.
She suddenly felt that familiar feeling of electricity coursing through her body as something touched her between the legs. She looked down to see it swelling up again. She looked at Natsu.
"You're awake, aren't you?" Lucy said. He opened his stunning black eyes and gazed into her brown ones.
"Sorry, I didn't know how you'd react if you knew I was awake," Natsu said.
"I take it you're thinking of last night?" Lucy said, forcing a sarcastic tone despite the feelings she was beginning to experience throughout her body as it pressed up against her. Her mind was fogging over again.
"Oh, um…sorry about that…it does that sometimes for no apparent reason…" Natsu said extremely awkwardly.
"'No apparent reason', huh? Are you sure the fact that we're both completely naked and my breasts being pressed up against you don't have anything to do with it?" Lucy was still able to maintain a sarcastic tone, despite her increasingly foggy mind. Natsu blushed and smiled awkwardly.
"Well that may be a small factor in it…" Natsu said. This time Lucy was unable to control her desire and emotion. She wanted not only the act, she wanted him. The feelings were real, and she felt the need to act on them. She rolled over so that she was on top of him. She leaned down so that their faces were less than an inch apart.
"I wouldn't call it a 'small' part of it. In fact, I wouldn't describe anything about it as 'small'," Lucy whispered, lowering her face to his in a kiss while moving herself directly above him…
Once again, Lucy and Natsu lied naked in bed. Once again, they wore huge grins on their beet red faces and were panting heavily. They were so utterly exhausted from the extreme burst of passion that neither seemed to be able to speak. Finally Lucy managed to gasp out a few words.
"Oh…God…Natsu…you…you're so…ohhhh Natsu…Thank you!" Lucy gasped. Natsu was in a similar state.
"You…you're w-welcome! Lucy you…you were…oh Lucy, I love you so much, I…I can't believe I never re…realized it before…" Natsu panted.
"I…I love you too…" Lucy said, nuzzling her face against his neck as Natsu stroked her blonde hair. Suddenly her eyes widened in the realization of what she just said.
NO! No, no, no! I did it again! I had him in the perfect position to reveal the information and I blew it! Why does this keep happening! I told him I loved him again when I should have been obtaining the information! Why did I do that? I don't really feel that way do I? I need some time to think about this!
"Nat…Natsu," Lucy panted, "May…may I use your bath?"
"Yes…yes of course," Natsu said, a gentle smile on his lips. That smile nearly drove Lucy back into her previous state.
"Would you like to join me?" Lucy asked before she could stop herself. She nearly winced at her words. Natsu was silent for a moment as he thought.
"No, I don't think so," Natsu said.
Oh thank god! Lucy thought, greatly relieved.
"I'll join you next time." Natsu added. Lucy inwardly flinched, but stood up off the bed, stretching. She did a few more stretches, as she was quite tense and sore from the passionate actions she had performed. She saw out of the corner of her eyes that Natsu was trying but failing to not look at her while she did this.
"It's okay, you can look," Lucy said, turning to face him. He looked at Lucy and his face turned bright red as he first saw Lucy's complete and uncovered beauty.
"You like what you see?" Lucy said, doing a few extra stretches, just to see his reaction. Natsu's eyes widened as she performed a few stretches that clearly had more visual value than exercise value.
"You're very beautiful Lucy," Natsu said. Lucy was about to do a few more 'stretches' but caught herself. She scolded herself for bothering to flirt around with him when she was trying to keep him off her mind. She hastily went into the bathroom and locked the door.
Lucy sighed and turned on the hot water. Soon the tub was filled with steamy water. She gently stepped into the soothing water and lowered herself in. She groaned in relaxation as the hot water soothed her. She sank further in until only her nose and the top of her head were above the water.
She thought of everything that had happened, of all the strange feelings and sensations she had felt recently. She analyzed every possibility in her mind, scrutinizing every aspect, and eventually reached a conclusion that shook her to her very core: she was in love.
There was no denying it anymore. She is truly in love with Natsu. His voice, his touch, his magnificent black eyes; they all called to her. She was truly and hopelessly in love.
Nothing had ever scared her more. How could she be so weak as to fall into the grips of such a thing as love? She was raised to be strong, so how could she have so utterly fallen for him? On top of that, now that she knew she loved him, what would she do next? She was still bound to the Marauder and the Red Hand, and her mission was going to end with her killing him. There was no avoiding that, she was absolutely bound to the Marauder's orders. There would be no resistance on her part in killing him.
She rubbed her head. She wished she had someone to talk to. She wished she had her parents…
Lucy took a deep breath and plunged her head underwater. Only then did she let loose the tears she had been holding in all these years. Her attraction to Natsu had torn down the wall to her humanity, and the death of her parents was overwhelming her.
Why? Why do her parents have to die? They are the only ones whom she loved and they died in front of her. This pain…this overpowering pain and sorrow she felt... It was horrible! It was far beyond mere physical pain, it felt like her very soul was being torn apart.
She couldn't handle it. Lucy stayed underwater for several minutes, taking advantage of her ability to hold her breath far longer than an ordinary human. Though they couldn't be seen underwater, tears were pouring from her eyes. Five years of pain and sorrow was catching up to her.
The pain and sorrow would soon apply to Natsu as well. She loved him, and she no longer felt the desire to kill him, but she was under the absolute control of her master. He would decide what she did, and he had already decided that after revealing the information, Natsu would die by her hands. It was unavoidable, but a question developed in Lucy's mind: Would she be able to live with herself again after killing him?
Lucy raised her head back above the water, taking a deep breath of air. She and Natsu were enemies; no amount of love would change that. The more she fell for him, the harder it would be when their destinies played out. She had to end this now, before she became even more attached to Natsu.
Natsu lay in bed, now fully clothed. It had been several hours since Lucy had gone back to her room. As he lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling, Lucy dominated his thoughts.
He couldn't believe this had happened. His newfound love for Lucy had taken him completely by surprise. There was no doubt that this was true love. Natsu has been lonely for five years after that incident, and now, he was finally found someone who he loved and cared, just like his former comrade Laxus. Natsu needed Lucy. He needed to be with her, to love her, to have her love him. He wanted to spend his entire life with her.
He sighed to himself, stretching his arms and sitting up. He found himself face-to-face with Lucy, who had apparently been there for a while. She smiled warmly at him and leaned in to give him a kiss. Their lips met blissfully, not out of lust this time, but of pure love.
"It's good to see you again my beautiful love," Natsu whispered, placing a hand on the side of her face. Her face seemed both happy yet somehow indescribably sad.
"Natsu, it's time to act. I know where Project Cerberus is," Lucy said. Natsu's eyes widened.
"What? Where?" Natsu said quickly. Lucy waited a moment before speaking.
"I've arranged passage to Antananarivo. When we arrive, your questions will be answered," Lucy said. Natsu heard something odd in her voice. Was it sadness? Regret? Sorrow? He didn't know, but he smiled at her nevertheless.
"I'll go with you, and together, we'll defeat our foe," Natsu said firmly to her, deciding that she must be worried about the upcoming confrontation. He ran off to get his things, leaving Lucy to stare after him.
"Actually, it is only me who will be defeating a foe," Lucy whispered sadly.
END OF CHAPTER
