Dedicated to bijou156 and BelleLitteraire for your motivation to write this chapter. Be warned, it's a weepy one...
As they walked the grounds of the nursing college Sybil felt the shock of seeing the destruction around her. Even though the war had ended, therapy for the wounded continued and for Sybil this was a whole new world. Even with the shock however she felt at home, in a strange way she felt like she should be here, like she belonged. It was the first time in weeks that she'd had that feeling of familiarity and she thanked Tom for it. As they stopped under an arch way she noticed Tom tense up and enquired about his change in behaviour. 'This is where I proposed to you' Sybil reached for the walls, running her fingers across the cool stone, a slight smile reached her lips 'I bet it was terribly romantic' Tom have a nervous laugh 'Actually you shot me down, it was awful' The laughter started to fade. 'I promised you the world and you wouldn't let me give it to you' Tom took off his flat cap and looked into her eyes '...but I'd do it all again if you would just remember me.' Sybil stared at his sad eyes, scared by the emotion in them. 'I'm terribly flattered...' The fire and emotion in Tom's eyes burned out and the nervous laugh with an evil twinge returned to his voice. 'You say you don't remember anything about us, but that sounds exactly like the first time you broke my heart' he placed his hat back on and returned to the car. The journey back to Downton was miserable and silent until they reached their destination when with sad eyes Sybil asked Tom if he was still going to attend the wedding the next day. He confirmed he would, his voice quiet and vulnerable as he helped his wife from the car and into the house, the invisible barrier which had hindered their love in the past.
At the wedding Tom felt more alone than ever. He'd never belonged in this world and for the first time in a while he thought about their life in Ireland and how it had not been as easy as they'd thought. Looking back when the accident had happened he had idolized their life but it had never been easy and as much as he struggled to fit into her world now, she had struggled to fit into his world then.
Walking home one night Sybil had heard the trouble before she's seen it, but was too late to avoid it. Two sides, the rebels and the English army in the early stages of another night's violence. Tom had heard the disruption from outside their window and paced frantically as his wife had not yet returned from her shift at the hospital. As he looked out he was relieved but also terrified to see his Sybil out there, learning across the wall pulling at her waist, something was wrong... He ran out, ignoring the danger of the guns and the stones flying through the air to reach her and hoist her back to their house. When she woke up, lying on her front in their bed, she felt the sting of cold water and antiseptic reach her skin. Some of the stones had skimmed her back and she was left with large bruises beginning to appear. When she tried to take in deep breaths, pain erupted through her body as she moaned in agony. When Tom realised she was awake he kissed the back of her neck, ran his fingers through her hair to comfort her and moved to her side so that she could see his face. He pushed the hair from her eyes, a comforting smile appeared to reassure her but she could tell he'd been frantic with worry. 'Hey, beautiful.' He muttered brushing her cheek with his lips. 'It hurts...' she whispered, tears of pain in her eyes. He ran his lips further down her skin to the bruises and kissed them gently. Small murmurs of discomfort from Sybil turned into moans of pleasure as they made love that night. It had been painful but Tom had been careful to position her so she felt comfortable and it took her mind off the terror she'd felt that night. For Tom it was a comfort too, he held her as close as he possibly could, not revealing how scared he's been that night that he could of lost her. He also needed to be with her fully for one last night of ignorance because he knew in his heart they had to leave Ireland, he had to take her to safety back at Downton. He felt like he's let her down and dreaded the conversation they would have to have the next night so he decided to take her to the cinema first before he discussed it with her. That had been the night of the accident...
Walking the grounds of Downton Tom felt that same disappointment, like he's let her down. He saw her with her family and friends, a smile on her face and he knew he had to let her go. He read it in books but never believed it, but now more than ever he truly believed that if you love someone enough, you have to let them go. He heard footsteps approach and was surprised to see it was Lord Grantham holding a glass of whiskey out to his son in law. He refused it and with anger in his voice proclaimed to him 'I suppose you're glad, with everything that's happened. You'll be happy to know I'm leaving tomorrow, you'll never hear from me again...' he began to walk away but heard Robert stop him in his tracks. 'Believe it or not, I'm not happy. I know how much you made her happy. She smiles now but it's not the same, it's like she's waiting for a click to be free again. We've got her back now but I know she'll leave us again, she was always meant to fall in love with you. Unfortunately I'm a selfish man, I'm not too proud to admit it, and me and Cora will hold onto every moment until she does.' A look of understanding crossed between them, Tom was surprised by Robert's admission but also grateful.
He looked up to the house one more time and prepared to leave, as he turned he saw her in the darkness, a ray of light surrounded her, it always had done. 'You're leaving aren't you' she whispered in the dark. 'Yes' he responded simply. As he walked away he heard her call out 'I hope one day I can love the way that you love me...' her voice breaking. He walked up to her one last time, cupping her cheek in her hand, his voice soft 'you figured it out once, you'll do it again' he placed a soft kiss on her forehead, then on her lips, savouring their last kiss. Sybil placed her hand on top of his which rested on her cheek 'Promise me you'll never stop trying, please, promise you'll never stop loving me...' Her pleading eyes staring up at him. He walked away without an answer, he couldn't promise to keep trying but he would always love her no matter what, but for now, he had to let her go...
Whew, that was a long chapter but I wanted to thank all the people who had been asking for a chapter, sorry I've been rubbish. There are only a few chapters left and I promise it's a happy ending even though now it doesn't seem that way. I promise they'll find their way back to each other
Unfortunately the injury Sybil gets is inspired by something that happened to me this week but I don't have Tom to comfort me like that hehe!
