The theme song for this story is "The Whistler," by Ian Anderson, the only songwriter who rivals

FRANK ZAPPA THE GREAT!

FZ rules. Go listen to "My Guitar Wants To Kill Your Mama," and "Joe's Garage." You'll love them. Then listen to more FZ. Then enjoy life, you now belong to a cultured group.

Chapter Twelve: Where's Purple?

"Well, where were you three last night?" Seamus Finnigan asked James, Lavender, and Parvati.

Since James was smiling and Lavender was overcome with giggles, Parvati responded. "It is perfectly acceptable for a boyfriend and girlfriend to play 'truth or dare,' so long as there is some supervision." Now James was cackling. "Shut UP!"

"What's up?" Dean asked.

"Not much. These crack-heads were doing something last night, but won't tell me." Seamus said.

"A, supervised, which is a stretch and you know it, game of 'Truth or Dare,' competing against my girlfriend." James said, and this time Lavender was clutching her sides. "Hey, it isn't that funny, okay, Parvati as a supervisor is."

Parvati glared at them. "And some poker."

"Ah. Strip poker." Dean and Seamus exchanged glances.

"No shit! You think Lavender, ouch." James got a hit from Lavender and jumped out of her range. "You think we're gonna sit in an attic with her clothes on? Hee hee hee." Now James was getting chased around the room by his girlfriend, while Parvati stared on with a glint in her eye.

"Yeah. Well. I lost." Parvati said, smiling.

"Ya know, I'll ignore the remainder of your dares if I get some help here!" James was caught, and Lavender was on top of him.

"Forget it, leo. You got yourself into this mess, you get yourself out." Parvati said.

"Urgh. Little help, Parvati?" Lavender asked.

"Sure." Parvati jumped on the pile, when James changed to a leopard, and lifted them up.

"Heh. Nice kitty."

"Well, I must be going now, pressing appointment. You'll understand, of course." Seamus flashed James a grin. "Do try to let them live."

"Just so the Prefect doesn't associate me with you three, I'll leave too." Dean followed Seamus.

"What about the prefect, Dean?" Hermione came down.

"Oh. Shit." Dean said. "Nothing."

"Nothing." She had seen the girls crawling all over the leopard in the corner. "As fascinating as bestiality must be, I feel obliged to request you not practice it in the common room."

Dean was having heaves of laughter at this comment. He only turned away after getting a look to maul from James.

"Well, if we want to sleep with animals it's better than whatever you could get." Parvati said.

"Better no one than every warm body around Hogwarts." Hermione shot back.

"At least she has real friends, not prats who stare at your chest and want to sleep with you, and masturbate at night moaning your name." Dean said.

"You stay out of it." Hermione thought, who was this person she was told of. Harry or Ron?

"Well, I know of others who do no more than moan for someone." Lavender said.

"Tell and I will make your life a living hell." Hermione flashed a malevolent eye.

"Make her life a living hell and you won't call life heaven yourself." James said, pulling out his wand.

"Detention for all of you." Hermione said.

"Hey. I have an idea, let's report her and spread the moan of Hermione around. And let's see her give us detention for that without raising eyebrows." James said.

"Why, you, little. I'll ruin you." Hermione said.

"How? Write a letter to Capn' K? Tell my friends at this school that I sleep around? Tell anyone else untrue rumors? I command more fear in this school than Malfoy gets from first years. They understand me: don't speak what I don't want spoken." James laughed.

"Yeah, we'll see who has more power, male or female." Hermione said.

"Or three males and two females. If we're in competition." James said. "Make that four males. I'm sure Robert wouldn't mind testifying against him. Whatever has he done to you?"

"He's a Slytherin." Hermione said.

"And we're Gryffindors. Oh, yeah, we can't have friends outside of our house. I hate Slytherin as much as the next person, but Robert is cool." Dean said.

"And Harry's dating a Ravenclaw." Lavender pointed out.

"An ugly one, at that!" Parvati said, laughing.

"Not to brainy, remember yesterday?" James asked. Now all three laughed.

"But Slytherin was evil." Hermione said.

"Bullshit. He wanted power. He had ambition. Nothing wrong with that. Melendino has more brains than your average Ravenclaw, bravery greater than you, and is noble and true. He is a fairly hard worker as well. In essence, he is more of a wizard than you will ever be." James said, and left the portrait, followed by Dean and Parvati, and finally Lavender. Hermione didn't leave, she went to her room to cry.

"That was fun. Hey, Robert! How are you?" Robert had walked up to them.

"Hey, folks. Parvati, my hand's cold. You know what that means?" Robert asked.

"Time to put it down your pants?" Parvati turned and snogged James, getting a harsh look from James and Robert, and a playful slap in the face from Lavender.

"He's mine!" Lavender said, in mock protest. James and Robert could hold their pose no longer, and all five laughed.

"Yeah, here I am." Parvati took Robert's hand. "Wow. Your hands are cold, maybe I should lip lock with James again." Robert laughed.

"No. I'll sue you! I swear it!" James then turned to Lavender and said, "You, however, have free reign on this face."

"Fine." She slapped it.

"Oh." James hung his face in mock pain/shock. "Well, in that case, I need something fo fix it." He kissed Lavender.

"Ooh, you can still see Lavender's hand mark!" Dean said.

"What'd I miss?" Seamus came up.

"Nothing, we're just headed for breakfast. Care to join?" Dean asked.

"Sure!"

"Hey, Robert's got Parvati, I've got Lavender, and Dean's got Seamus!" James said, amidst laughter from everyone but Dean and Seamus. "Hey, what's it like to kiss a guy, Lavender?"

"Why don't you find out? Seamus, would you do me a huge favor?" Lavender joked.

"NO! NO NO NO NO!" Seamus screamed and jumped backwards as James approached him with puckered lips. They all laughed.

"What's it like to kiss a girl?" Lavender asked James.

"Well, now it's Deans turn to do ME a favor." Everyone laughed. "But seriously, Seamus, you might want to find out as well." This elected a playful punch James dodged, and laughter.

"Well, time for breakfast!" James sat down, and so did everyone else, except Lavender. James saw Malfoy whisk her down the hall into the entry hall. "Holy hell, Malfoy abducted Lavender!" James drew his wands, and the others followed suit, and they tore down the hall.

"No Running!" McCgonnagle yelled after them.

"One step and she gets it." Malfoy said with a sneer. "And I mean it." He held Lavender in a choker hold, with his wand poking in her chin, and her wand on the floor. "I have you now, James. You'll all drop your wands now." James signaled in the affirmative, and they all dropped their wands. "James, the second wand at your waist. I've seen it enough, don't deny it exists." James reluctantly dropped that wand as well. "Now, I will be leaving. Good bye!" Malfoy took off.

"DAMN!" James yelled about three minutes later.

"Fifty points from Gryffindor. I am afraid I must ask you to refrain from such language in my halls, mister McCadell. I ask that one of your stature be a little more, restrained." Umbridge said, and walked off. "And I will have to give you a detention, tomorrow. Five."

"What if I do not come?" James asked out loud.

"I will make you come." Umbridge said.

"I doubt it." James muttered.

"Well, that sums it up. James is one helluva prat. He is SUCH a jackass. He, ugh." Hermione said.

"He has a bit more intelligence than you; he doesn't go speaking ill of those more powerful than he." Ron pointed out.

"Yeah, according to him that's only nine people." Hermione said. "And four are dead and three are missing, or something like that."

"Still, he's a great wizard, far beyond us." Ron said.

"He hasn't done as much as us." Harry said.

"I disagree to that." Hermione said. "He was the guy who allowed me to make it through the Cave of Life. He also did other amazing things. Though the people who knew him didn't think he was that great. Worst wizard in his division, I was told."

"Well, there you are wrong." Ron said. "And achievements matter little. He had done as much as us, and more efficiently as well, we have almost dies way, way, way too many times. Like last year, you nearly got killed by dragons, drowning, skrewts, acromantulas, our crazed DADA teacher, and You-Know-Who. Not to mention Tom Riddle, the Basalisk, Black himself, pettigrew, Dementors twice, no, three times, werewolves, trolls, chess sets, plants, acromatulas again, I'm never forgiving you for that by the way, dobby, and about a dozen more I cannot think of right now. You are one lucky son of a bitch, and he's good."

"Well, join his fan club then." Harry said grumply.

"I have. Parvati and Lavender are cool, as well as Robert, Dean and Seamus." Ron said.

"Robert is a SLYTHERIN!" Harry yelled.

"And still cool." Ron said.

"Fine. You are entitled to your own opinion." Harry said.

"It isn't just my opinion, every person except you two love Robert, and have adopted him as a honor Gryffindor. Especially my sister. I want them to go out, because Robert's cool, but I want Ginny to go out with her greater love first." Ron smiled.

"Me?" Harry asked.

"No." Ron and Hermione said at the same time. Ron raised his eyebrow to Hermione. "Do tell, you been reading her diary as well?"

"No. She tells me these things. She is madly, and I mean MADLY, in love with James. But she avoids him, and talks to him. She likes him enough to keep her head! Strange. Oh, well, it's just a crush. I had one on him myself until I realized he was friends with a slytherin."

"James is cool, and so is Robert. Even Fred and George like them both. They think James is a riot, and Robert is his complement. Now, let's get to class." Ron said.

"Hey, James! What's up?" Fred asked.

"Nothing. Why? In trouble? Need help?" James said.

"Nah. What happened to your favorite color?" George asked.

"Malfoy."

"Oh. Shit." Fred said.

"Well get her back. Tonight." George said.

"Sure, I need time to think, though." James said.

"I understand. Go comfort Parvati. And check your dorm, a package came for you, long, thin, and it didn't come at breakfast. Here's the note." Fred handed James a note.

James-

This is my semester project; a magical sword. You can cast spells into it, and it will release the spells when you let it! The name is Mancasha, which means 'Deathblade' in Undercommon. Treat it well, and let me know how it works for you!

We miss you;

Laurel.

"Cool." James said, and he sprinted to his dorm.

As soon as he got there, he opened the package on his bed. He strapped the sheath around his waist, and instantly fell in love with the feel. It was light as a feather, yet firm as steel. He pulled it out of its sheath and another note fell out. He read this one.

Mancasha is forged from Mithril It has another magical quality, it shines a red glow when danger is near. Hope it keeps you well!

Laurel.

"Wow." James was amazed at the balance. He was a sort of swordsman, not the fencer that Daniel was, but a fighter non the less. He was often considered the best swordsman in the state, sometimes country.

He actually placed second in a nation wide tournament in his third year, about January. Adi had taught him much about his chosen weapon as well, and he was probably the best in the USA now. The blade was sharp, and light. It was also remarkably thin, and strong. He knew the properties of true mithril, it was not like Tolkien imagined it. It was even stronger, brighter, and rarer. A paper sheet of Mithril not heated in a Mithril Forger's furnace was sharper than the sharpest steel blade, and almost as strong as a three inch thick piece of steel. It also weighed almost nothing. Forged into a blade, like this, it could be twice as strong, a twentieth the weight, and a third the thickness. It also was three times as sharp as the best steel blade ever, and would last about nine times longer without a sharpen. Yet it still required a decent amount of force to cut, so just touching it wouldn't be dangerous. He was already in love with the blade, and sheathed it. He vowed to put it to use soon.

"James?" Parvati asked, poking her head into the room. "James, do you have a plan to get Lavender back?"

"Yes. Yes I do." James had no such plan, since this was a story. "But I cannot tell you the plan, I'll let you know what you need to do when you get there."

"James, thanks. Thank you for going out with me those long months ago. Thank you for staying with me as a friend afterwards. Thank you for being so cool. And, finally, thank you for getting Lavender back." Parvati was crying, and James took her in his arms.

"Don't count your dragons before they hatch. But I am confident we'll destroy Malfoy, whatever his ploy is." He felt how soft she was in his hands, and he had almost forgotten why he had loved her so long ago. She felt soft, yet firm. Weak yet hard, in an effort (not entirely failed) to gain whatever she wanted. She had the strength of most people he had met, and she seemed like she needed James more than ever now. He was there for her.

"I, I still love you. But Lavender loves you more, and you love her more." Parvati said.

"You still love me." He wasn't judging or questioning, he was just re-stating the fact.

"Yes."

"Why didn't you stay with me?" James sat her down on his bed.

"I don't know. I think because I wanted to be in the same boat as Lavender. But I don't blame her for getting together with you, she always fancied you. She still does, but now she loves you as well. I let you go. Don't look back, it would be too painful." Parvati said. "Never question your decisions, and never, ever, pretend something isn't true. Always follow your convictions, and don't question what you believe because someone disagrees. All of this advice was given to me by you, and it was all true. And now, not following your advice, I find my best friend going out with the man I wanted all along." Parvati now had tears going down her cheek. "And I feel as if it is my fault, and if we were together she wouldn't be taken. And what's worse, I don't feel as bad as should, because with her gone I could go out with her boyfriend."

"Think. No, just think. How do you feel? How do you think that I feel about this? Do you actually believe that I feel remarkably good about this? Because I don't. You are telling me about how you cannot feel sad about the loss of your best friend, my girlfriend, because you want me still. I want Lavender back. I miss her. With her gone, I cannot feel happy. We get her tonight." James said, and they left.

"All righty then, here we go. Malfoy has her in a dungeon, and she's as good as ours. Let's go!"

They sneaked around the dungeons for nearly an hour, stunning a few prefects and squad members, and finally found Lavender, whom they rescued, and set off an alarm by accident. They fought their way out of that mess, and ended back in the Gryffindor common room, including Robert.

"Oh, thank you." Lavender managed, before her self-control gave out and she hopped onto him, vice gripped him with her legs, and dragged him onto the sofa to make-out with him.

"I suppose she is to be excused for her actions." Seamus said, in an amused voice.

"Fuck off." James joked, in the seconds he had for air.

"Hey, Robert! Keep your clothes on!" Dean said, and Robert, not taking the time James did in disengaging himself, gave Dean one helluva look.

"All right, Seamus, don't get any ideas." Dean said. "I'm not that happy."

Everyone making out snorted and busted out laughing while Seamus lunged for Dean.

"Hey! Don't I get a say in this relationship? Nothing physical!" Everyone laughed harder, and Robert and James teamed up to get Seamus off of Dean.

"So. Where did we leave off?" James asked Lavender.

"Somewhere outside, I hope." That phrase reminded James of something.

"I have to go. I love you. I will be back." James left the portrait.

"Well, why the hell would he leave someone as hot as that alone on a couch?" Seamus asked, getting punched by both Robert and Dean.

"Well, hey, it's getting late. Can I stay in the Gryffindor tower?" Robert asked.

"Sure, up the stairs, all the way. Open the last door, there's a couch you can stay on." Parvati suggested.

"I meant with you." Robert said.

"Um. No." Parvati blushed. "As great as your offer is, I have to turn it down, there are other girls in my room and they might object to your presence."

"Fine. See you all tomorrow." Everyone went to bed.

Except James, who was prowling the grounds.

I hate this one. I really do. Why did I write about Malfoy abducting someone? And the next chapter was written to piss a friend off. And doesn't make any sense anymore.

Humor me and review. I'd do the same for you. Psycopath.02

Want that hot girl at school to ask you out? We at psycopath developers will put in one helluva word for you if you review.

Just in case you ask… "Psycopath" as in "psycopath.02" and "psycopath developers," they are both spelled correctly. I know, there's supposedly a second H. Well, not in these names. I knew how to spell psychopath, I just decided it would be cool for it to be psycopath. That way it looks more like a psycho wrote it.

Sorry it was so short.