2 November 1900
My darling Cora,
I tell myself that of course you've written me about the baby and that Rosamund's letter happened to reach me first. Rosamund is always so eager to be involved in big news after all. But a part of me doubts. A part of me wonders with disappointment if you never intended to tell me. I've tried to parcel out why, and I think you meant to keep me from worry, for that is your nature. To that I say, let me worry about you, let me think on you, for I do anyway. And a baby! It is the most delightful of news. I'm bursting with the thought of it.
Now that the truth is known, please don't hide from me. I want to hear all about how you are and how things are progressing. I will not pester you from afar to take care; I trust you will not push yourself to the limits. I also trust Mama will be a pest enough in my absence.
You cannot know the joy I am feeling now, and the renewed sense of determination to come back to you as soon as possible.
Your devoted husband,
Robert
"Cora, you have to know that if I thought for a moment that you hadn't written Robert, I never would have spoken of it." Rosamund insisted.
Cora kept her eyes on the tea within her cup as she stirred methodically. Despite her sister in law's taste for gossip and intrigue, she did believe her sincerity. Cora nodded her head, acknowledging the unspoken apology in Rosamund's voice.
"I just cannot imagine why you didn't write him immediately." Violet interjected with exasperation.
Cora sighed, blinking at the older woman before looking down again. She ground her teeth together within her closed mouth. Her concerns could not be given a voice, not to these two, who already saw her as weak and failing and unworthy. She couldn't tell them why she had wanted to wait, that she thought it cruel to get Robert's hopes up while he was so far away and fighting. That it was too soon to be so certain.
"I had just thought to wait," Cora replied, shrugging her shoulders.
"Hmph, well, perhaps you should have warned us," Violet scolded.
"Yes, apparently," Cora said quietly, taking a tentative sip of her tea. She looked to the clock on Violet's mantel and discreetly tried to hide her yawn behind her cupped hand. Violet had summoned her for luncheon, but the meal had yet to be announced and Cora wasn't entirely certain she would be able to keep her eyes open for it. A heavy fatigue pulled at her limbs, her corset the only thing keeping her body from slouching in on itself.
"Cora?" Violet asked, the irritation of before gone from her voice as she placed a hand on Cora's.
Cora shook her head slightly. "I'm terribly sorry, Mama, but could you have the carriage called? I don't think I'm quite up to visiting today."
Violet stood, her brows gathering together above the severe slope of her nose. She regarded Cora for a moment before going to the bell pull and ringing for her butler.
The house was quiet as Cora entered the Great Hall and while it seemed vaguely strange to not see Carson in one of his usual stations or to be greeted by Mrs Hughes with some pressing busines,s it was a welcomed change. She wanted nothing more than to ring for Jenkins, disrobe, and curl up beneath the cool sheets of her bed. Stepping onto the landing, Cora slowly made her way down the gallery to her room when she stopped, holding her breath in concentration. A faint sound, something tugging at her attention, could almost be heard and Cora frowned, trying to puzzle out what it was and why her heart sped up. The slip of a door opening down the hall caused her to turn. Instantaneously, Carson rushed out, followed by Mrs Hughes and the sound that had been barely a sound before filled the previously silent hallway. Cora found her legs running before she was conscious of commanding them to do so as Sybil's piercing cries rose in pitch.
"Milday!" Carson breathed.
"What's happening?" Cora demanded, rushing past them and into the nursery.
Little Sybil was red faced and sobbing, pushing against Nanny weakly as the woman tried to hold her and soothe her with a gentle rocking. At Cora's presence, Sybil cried harder, her arms reaching for her mother who scooped her up immediately, pressing her body close as she swayed back and forth and whispered to the child.
"She woke from her nap like this milady," Nanny explained. "She's frightfully warm."
As Nanny said the words Cora became aware of it, the heat radiating from Sybil's small body. "Has anyone sent for the doctor?"
"We were just about to milady." Carson responded.
"I'll go and tell a footman," Mrs Hughes quickly said before hurrying out of the room.
Cora sat on the rocking chair, cradling Sybil in her arms as her crying slowly lost its intensity, finally fading out into an occasional hiccup. She remained curled in Cora's lap, resting her head on her mother's chest and sucking her thumb, a habit she had long since abandoned. Cora continued to rock her, smoothing back the hair that had begun to stick on her damp forehead.
"It's alright darling," Cora softly told her, holding Sybil closer, resting her cheek on the toddler's silky head and while Sybil had quieted and seemed momentarily soothed, Cora's heart palpitated erratically, a growing alarm turning her stomach.
"Nothing more than an ear infection, Lady Grantham." Doctor Jefferson informed Cora as they exited the nursery.
"So you are Doctor Clarkson's substitute." Violet observed, somewhat critically. She had arrived on the heels of the doctor, having seen a footman from the house riding dangerously fast in the direction of the hospital and then back with the doctor in tow.
"I am his assistant," Dr Jefferson corrected politely.
"I see," Violet said sharply. "And is this infection a risk to Lady Grantham and the unborn child?"
"No, no!" Dr Jefferson assured. "Rest, broth and a cold compress for the fever. Perhaps a little aspirin powder for the pain, should see Lady Sybil feeling better in no time."
"Thank you very much, doctor." Cora sighed, relief shaking her voice.
Seeing the doctor out, Cora stood, staring at the closed door for a moment, one hand on her hip and another on her forehead. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply, her exhaustion from before, instantly forgotten when she'd heard Sybil's crying, blanketed her once again.
"Why don't you take that rest now, Cora." Violet's words more of an instruction than question. "Rosamund will sit with Sybil."
Her mothering instincts warred within. She couldn't imagine her baby suffering any pain without being there to comfort her. But now there was another baby, a fragile flutter of life who could not cry for her attentions, who could only hope that her constant care would help it flourish. The conflicting pull made her queasy with guilt.
"I'll lie down for a moment, I think." Cora conceded. "But please get me should Sybil ask for me."
The weight of her head pulling her neck into a painful curve jarred Cora awake. Groaning at the aching protest of her abused muscles, Cora lifted her head up from the resting place it had found on her chest and tentatively turned it from one side to the other. The clouds of a restless sleep hung over her, making her thoughts hazy. It had been three days since Sybil had taken ill, and although she had seemed improved after the first day, her fever had suddenly come back. Doctor Jefferson had reassured them that time and nursing would see her condition improving but another day of watching her suffer and then become frighteningly lethargic had forced Cora to telegram Doctor Clarkson in London. She had fallen asleep in the chair beside Sybil's bed waiting.
Cora wiped at her eyes, suddenly aware of the dampness on her cheeks. Her tears continued to fall, soundlessly, as she tightened her hold on Sybil's small, clammy hand. She couldn't wrap her muddled mind around how quickly their fortunes had changed, how unprepared she had been. All her focus, all of her prayers went to Robert first, and then their unborn baby. She had never imagined her girls, especially her robust little Sybil, could be as she was now, pale beneath the pink cheeks of fever, her breathing shallow and rapid in her chest.
A soft knock broke through Cora's thoughts and she turned, still clutching her daughter's hand.
"Doctor Clarkson's train has arrived. He sent word from the station he would be here as quickly as possible." Violet's strained eyes left Cora's and looked around her, the wrinkles around her mouth deepening as she took in her granddaughter. There was a momentary flash of something soft and breaking in Violet's eyes. Only a moment and then she lifted her chin higher, squared her jaw, and trained her intense, cool eyes on Cora. "Jenkins says you haven't left here in hours. Haven't eaten."
Cora shook her head, a dull throbbing persisting under the bridge of her nose. "I have no appetite."
"Come." Violet waved her hand. "Before the doctor comes, just something small to regain your strength."
Cora pushed herself out of the chair, too drained and numb for arguments. The quicker she pushed something down the quicker she would be back. It was only when forced to use her legs, to stand upright, did Cora realize how hot she felt, as though she'd sat too close to the fire. She took a deep breath, pulling at the collar of her dress.
"Cora?" Violet's voice rose in concern. She placed a hand on Cora's forehead, the blessed coolness of her thin fingers causing Cora to close her eyes and lean into her touch.
"You're burning up," Violet stated, placing her arm around Cora's waist and quickly guiding her out the door.
Jenkins waited in the hall with a tray and looked bewildered as Violet continued to walk Cora past her. The dowager turned her head and instructed the maid to send Doctor Clarkson to her ladyship's room after he had seen Lady Sybil.
"The baby…" Cora muttered.
"Everything is going to be fine," Violet said, ordered really, as though she could bully a a happy outcome out of the fates.
