Reports of my demise were greatly exaggerated.

Hopefully from now on we'll see more regular updates than with the last two episodes. That's one payoff of this last hiatus - I was able to go through this next episode in one fell swoop!


"Unit 1, what's taking you?" said Captain Bogo.

"T-traffic's still really backed up, sir," Clawhauser stammered. "We've got our lights and siren on, but we're still going at a snail's pace!"

"So what's the deal with the Inner Wild Front?" Judy asked.

"Well…" Clawhauser muttered as he kept his eyes on the road, driving Unit 1's carrier through Sahara Square, to the scene of the incident. "From what I've heard, they think that civilized life is wrong, but the details are a bit sketchy on why."

"That's because even they can't figure it out," Bogo chimed in through the radio. "The IWF is a decentralized movement – one faction may be completely different from the next. They all believe that 'the system' is corrupt and irredeemable, so we should just go back to our wild ways, but they can't agree on why that is or what to do about it. Some of them are content to just wait until we just drop Pax Zootopia and start eating each other again. Others like this one… they can't wait that long."

"So why is this guy trashing Mystic Springs Oasis?" said Nick. "Over there they're all about 'back-to-nature'!"

"Only reason I can think of is that this idiot thinks the MSO isn't 'back-to-nature' enough for their tastes. Or maybe they have a grudge against the place."

Judy's nose twitched in confusion. "How does a personal grudge factor into the IWF's plans?!"

"With terrorist groups," Bogo explained, "it's not unusual for their agendas to change at the drop of a hat. With a decentralized group like the IWF in particular, it's not surprising that some random idiot decides to smash things up just for the hell of it while waving the IWF flag as an excuse."

"Hylander has already engaged the suspect," came Lee's voice, betraying a little impatience. "How long will it be before Unit 1 gets here?"

"Not much longer," said Clawhauser. "We just need to get through this traffic!"


"Well, hurry!" Lee shouted into her receiver. Unit 2 was experiencing difficulties fighting the Ushii UL-98 Hareacles H21 that the IWF terrorist had stolen from the Climate Wall Refurbishment Project.

Now, Hylander and the tree pangolin piloting the stolen Labor were grappling just near the wall of the Mystic Springs Oasis.

"Can't I use my revolver cannon?" growled Hylander through his comms system. as Unit 2 took a step back.

"Not until you can get him out of here," said Lee. "It's too confined."

"Confound it!" the hyrax grumbled. "I don't think I'm good at close quarters. Not compared to Hopps at any rate."

"Well, Hopps isn't here," Lee hissed. "Just push this maniac out of here and relocate the fight to Sahel Creek Park! It's already been evacuated."

"I-I can try!" Hylander tried charging the Hareacles.

Like the Bullfrog – which came from the same company – the Hareacles was a squat, bipedal machine without a proper head that had three-fingered hands. However, it lacked the airplane-style cockpit, instead having an all-metal-protected cockpit, with a small viewport in the front. The machine's pilot mainly used monitors to see his way around. In addition, the shoulders featured holes cut into the bodywork to reduce weight, and the forearms were slimmer those of the Bullfrog.

Now, this Hareacles – which was painted fluorescent green – grabbed Unit 2 and began engaging in a shoving match with it.

"Hylander, your footing," Lee snapped. "Adjust your footing!"

Unit 2 hadn't quite braced his Labor properly for the shoving match, and the Ingrowl fell backwards into the wall, causing it to crumble behind him.

"Ribbons!" Lee cursed.


"Can't you take Dune Street?" snapped Bogo through the radio.

"I-it's too narrow for the carrier, sir," stammered Clawhauser. "And even if we could get through it, I don't think I could pull off that tight turn!"

"Right then," Bogo sighed. "Unit 1, deck-up."

"Wha- here?!" sputtered Clawhauser. "Now?!"

"Now, Clawhauser."

"Now-now, sir?!"

"Now -now, Clawhauser." Bogo repeated. "Deck-up. Hopps can walk the rest of the way."

"Uh, Cap'n?" came Nick's voice. "Wouldn't that just get the city mad at us… more than usual?"

"I'd rather have that than civilian casualties. Now shape up and deck-up!" Bogo hollered.

"Y-yes, sir!" said Clawhauser.

Judy immediately dashed into Robin and Clawhauser raised the payload bay.

Nick backed his command car onto the sidewalk, making sure his lights and siren were on, and spoke into the car's loudspeakers. "Can I ask all you pedestrians to please move along? It's just that if my friend here stepped on ya, it'd mean a loooot of nasty paperwork for us cops!"

Many of the mammals lining the sidewalks fled into nearby buildings as the clamps holding the Ingrowl in place on the trailer were released, and it took its first steps off the carrier.

"Okay, Robin…" said Judy inside the machine, "Let's roll…"

'Rolling' as it turned out was more tiptoeing around pedestrians and cars on Dune Street while Nick went ahead in front of her to try and clear a path.

"Alright, alright! Let's have some room here, mammals! One side, folks!" said Nick, "You, the jackal! Why are you even eating a burger in the middle of the road?!"

"I paid good money for this burger," yelled the jackal, "I'll eat it where I damn well please!"

"Uh-huh…" said Nick, "Well, let me put it this way; either you move the burger meat, or you become burger meat."

The jackal whimpered as he made for the side of the road while the command car and Ingrowl passed by. Nick kept calling for pedestrians to make way.

"You bunch, over there! There's a time and a place for group selfies. This is not one of 'em."

Judy couldn't believe mammals had the bad taste to take group selfies next to dangerous situations involving Labors, but sure enough, two zebras, a bison, and a wildebeest were glaring at the command car as one of the zebras put down his selfie stick.

Nick kept shouting. "Clear the way! Defer! Defer! Defer to the Lord High Labor Executioner! Leave some room for the bunny to put her big feet!"

"Hey, I resent that!" said Judy.

"Well, it's accurate!"

"Accurate or not, it's speciest!"

"Well, I wasn't talking about your big feet, I was talking about Robin's!"

"So we both have big feet?!" said Judy, petulantly, "Either way, I don't have to listen to this!"

"Hey, you're doing well enough! With catlike tread, upon your prey you steal-"

"What have I said about HMS Pinafur songs?!"

"That wasn't HMS Pinafur. That was The Pirates of Pawzance!"

"Hopps! Wilde!" came Bogo's voice on Judy and Nick's respective comm systems. "Are you aware that you both have your loudspeakers on?!"

Judy bit her tongue. She'd have to have a word with Joanna about Robin's external sound systems.

Soon, they had made it to the section of ruined wall, where the Hareacles was slamming Unit 2 face-first into one of the buildings, ripping it open.

Nick pulled his command car up beside Lee's before poking his head out of the top hatch. "So what's going on? Why isn't Blunderbuss fighting back?"

"I can't reach him!" Lee explained. "I think he's been knocked out!"

"I'll take care of him!" Judy said, pulling out her stun-stick.

"Gimme a sec!" said Nick, patching his receiver to his loudspeakers. This time however, he stayed behind Robin. "Hey, you! In the Hareacles! Can't we just talk about this?"

"No!" barked the pangolin.

"Ah, c'mon!" said Nick. "What's this place done to you?"

"They're a bunch of sellouts!" yelled the pangolin. "This city needs to burn! I'll start with them!"

"Nick, honey isn't working," said Judy, making Robin take a step forward. "Time for vinegar." The bunny doe switched on her loudspeakers. "Step out of the Labor now or… or… or…!"

[OST]

Judy had noticed several mammals fleeing from the scuffle. A zebra, a hippo, and a bear. But what had caught her eye was what wasn't there.

"C-Captain Bogo!" Judy stammered into her radio.

"What is it, Hopps?"

"W-We've got streakers on the scene!"

"Streakers?! What the hell are you talking about?!"

"There are naked mammals – running all over the premises!" Judy quickly took in the sight of multiple other mammals of various species milling about the courtyard, all of them as naked as the day they were born.

"She means MSO members, sir," said Nick. "Carrots, Mystic Springs Oasis is a naturalist club. They think clothes are unnatural."

"B-b-b-but isn't this indecent exposure?!" stammered Judy.

"MSO falls under a legal loophole," said Bogo. "Just forget the naked animals and focus on the suspect!"

"Uh, y-y-yes, sir!" Judy's attention turned back to the Hareacles. "A-attention, Hair-naked- Hareacles pilot! Cease and disrobe- desist! Open your cockpit- er- hatch! And come out with your parts- paws up or we will have to use fuzz- force!"

"Smooth, Carrots…" Nick muttered.

Just then, the fox noticed a nude peccary frantically running into the part of the building where the Hareacles had forced Unit 2's head in through the second floor.

"Hang on!" Nick said, "We've got a straggler! I'll get him out!"

Nick got out of his car and dashed into the building after the peccary, following him to a room right below where Unit 2's head and torso lay. This room was full shelves containing jars of multicolored liquids.

"Hey, if you haven't noticed, this isn't safe!" Nick frantically explained, trying to drag the peccary away by the hoof.

"No way!" the peccary hollered, pulling away from the fox. "I gotta make sure my experiment's safe!"

Nick didn't know what 'experiment' the peccary referred to and he didn't care. Before he could say anything to the naturalist, a naked yak with immensely long head-fur walked in the door behind him.

"Aw, Carl!" the yak chuckled, seemingly oblivious to the peril that the club was in. "You haven't been doing that stuff again, have you?"

"Aw, c'mon, Yax!" the peccary protested. "It's not so bad!"

"Uh, listen you guys!" Nick sputtered, gesturing to the window, where Unit 2's abdomen and legs blocked any view. "I don't know if you've noticed, but there's a Labor out there that could fall on our heads at any moment, so we've gotta-"

Just then, the Hareacles's speakers came on. "You stay back or you'll end up like your friend here!"

Outside, the Hareacles banged its fist on Unit 2's back for emphasis, which caused the ceiling of the room Nick, Yax, and Carl were in to collapse. Jars of fluid smashed all around them.


"Nick!" Judy panicked. "Nick, are you alright?! Please respond!"

A voice coughed on the other end. "I-I'm alright, Carrots. The room didn't collapse all the way. We're all safe here."

Judy sighed in relief. "Okay, just hurry up and get out of there! Ah!"

Robin dodged an attempt by the pangolin to tackle it, then pointed the stun stick at the Hareacles menacingly.

"Nick, this guy's not giving up," Judy panted. "You know your Labors. Where should I stick this guy?"

"Oh, you needn't worry, Carrots!" Nick's voice suddenly became off-kilter. "No matter how thick the armor, you have but to pierce it!"

"What?"

"Wilde, could you answer Hopps' question?" Bogo growled.

"Nick, is that you?" Judy wasn't sure what was going on.

"Oh, sure!" That was Nick's voice, but it didn't sound like Nick. "Nicholas Wilde – do not forget this name!"

"Uh, Nick? You didn't take a blow to the head, did you?" Judy became concerned.

Then a new, cheerful voice broke in. "Oh, your foxy friend's alright. I think the fumes from Carl's 'experiments' just made him kinda wonky."

"What- who is this?!" Bogo broke in. "What's going on?!"

"Oh, my name's Yax. I'm with the club." the new voice chuckled. "Don't worry, I'll get your friend outta here."

"Please do," sighed Bogo. "Lee, since Wilde and Hylander are both down for the count, you're to act as Hopps' backup now."

"Oh, I'm fine, Cap'n!" Nick's voice came in, "I'm gonna scrub these fumes from the face of the earth!"

"Understood, sir," said the opossum from her command car.

Judy switched on her loudspeaker as she made Robin take a few steps back. "Please, sir! Just stop and think about what you're doing! This isn't right!"

"I should've been the one to fill your soul with RIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!" Nick's voice squawked in.

"Shut up!" yelled the pangolin. "These mammals deserve to suffer! For lying to us all!"

"Hopps, what are you doing?!" Lee broke in.

"I'm trying to buy time for Nick and the others to get out!"

"If you allow the suspect time to move, there's a greater chance he might try and attack another section of the building," Lee noted.

"You're not gonna trick me!" said the IWF pangolin. "I'm willing to die for my ideals!"

"No one has to die here!" Judy pulled her machine forward, yanking the Hareacles away from the building and into the center of the courtyard.

"You're being inefficient!" said Lee. "Just get behind him and apply the baton!"

"I have to get behind him first!" Judy dodged a swipe from the Hareacles, backing up all the way.

"HADOUKEN! SONIC BOOM!" Nick's voice yelled.

"Roughing up the Labor isn't necessary," said Lee. "Just get around him!"

"I'm trying!" Judy dodged another swipe.

"Well, try harder!" Lee growled.

Just then, Judy saw behind the Hareacles. There was Yax, casually carrying Nick over his shoulder and dragging a groggy peccary by the hand. For some reason, Nick had a pear in his hand.

"Carrots!" the fox piped up as he groggily raised his head toward Robin. "Shall I give you this pear?"

"Hang on!" Judy dropped the stun stick and caught one of the IWF terrorist's punches, and promptly flung the Hareacles over Robin's shoulder, sending it back out hole in the wall.

"Hopps, what-"

"I'm relocating the conflict! I can still lure him to Sahel Creek Park!"

"Hopps, you don't need any of this nonsense! Just take him down sometime before sundown!" Lee snapped.

"Now you'll die before even seeing your precious moon, GX!" the drugged Nick's voice slipped in.

"Lee, give Hopps some breathing room!" Bogo interrupted. "Hopps, just put an end to this!"

"I will!" Judy growled as she picked up Robin's stun stick, put it back behind her shield, and climbed back over the ruined wall to where the Hareacles was getting up.

Before the Hareacles could brace itself properly, Judy launched Robin at it, giving her opponent a clothesline that sent it skittering towards Sahel Creek Park. Now, Judy was careful to place herself in the park.

"Why you…!" the pangolin growled, propelling his Hareacles forward towards Robin. Judy used another judo throw to send it straight into the middle of the park.

"Is this range safe for firearms?" Judy asked.

"It should be, but-"

"Good!"

Judy drew Robin's revolver cannon, and the metal firing visor slid over Robin's Plexiglas visor.

"Hopps, what are you doing?!" Lee hissed.

"If I disable that thing's legs, I can get up close and use the stun-stick," explained Judy.

"You stand a better chance up close!" Lee groaned.

"VOL-TEK-KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-"

"Would someone please shut off Wilde's mic?!" yelled Bogo.

"No need, sir," piped up Beaverbrook. "I think he broke it just then."

Before the Hareacles could get up, Judy fired three shots. One missed its mark and went straight into the ground. The other two ripped through the Hareacles' legs, and the Labor collapsed, hydraulic fluid spewing from its knees.

"Okay…!" Robin drew its stun stick again and nonchalantly walked up to the prostrate Labor, promptly inserting the stun stick into its back.

"That wasn't so hard now, was it?" Judy pointedly remarked to Lee.


BACKGROUND MUSIC:

1) Micheal Giacchino - "The Naturalist" - from Zootopia