Everything was white, besides the figure engulfed by red liquid that expanded itself around the person. The blood was already spreading, soaking Zero's clothes in a pool that surrounded his body. Lelouch squinted against the light to get a better view. Was that really Zero? Was he watching himself die?

The Prince inched closer to get a peek, and he got to his knees beside Zero, reaching out with a shaking hand, afraid that he would see himself staring right back at him. When the mask was slipped off, it revealed a pale looking boy with brown, curly hair.

Suzaku blinked up, grimacing as if he hadn't seen light in such a long time. "Oh, it's you. Hey…"

That was all he had to say? While blood seeped through his clothes and stained the white floors?

One of Lelouch's eyes twitched. "Hey? You're losing blood for goodness sakes!"

"I am, aren't I?" Suzaku murmured weakly, attempting to manage a feeble smile. "But it's okay. Everything's alright now. At least I get to see your face once more…" He extended a hand up to place on Lelouch's cheek, smearing some of his blood upon him accidentally. But Lelouch barely noticed. Or he didn't care.

"I swear if you're quitting on me-"

He stopped. Just out of the corner of his eye, he spotted a tear trickling down Suzaku's face.

"Would you kiss me one last time if I asked you to?"

Lelouch tried to sound confident, but his voice broke under all his emotions, his despondency, his sorrow. "You won't die." That was all he could manage to say.

He couldn't, right? Kallen had to be right. This was Suzaku. He…

Suzaku chuckled halfheartedly. "You can't tell me when I will or won't die." The Japanese boy's hand was starting to slip away, but Lelouch grabbed hold of it.

"I can," he sobbed angrily. "And I will!"

Suzaku's eyes closed slowly. "You're not God..."

"DON'T! Don't leave!" Lelouch screamed, his grip tightening around the ex-soldier's hand. He started to rant. "If only I never dragged you into this," He said each word so quickly it was almost impossible to catch. "I only wanted to make this world better for Nunnally! If I could rewind time, I'd-I'd-I'd-"

"Shut up…" Suzaku demanded softly. His hand suddenly felt light and…dead, in Lelouch's as if it would fall if he let go. But he knew he wouldn't dare.

Lelouch pulled out his contacts and leaned over Kururugi. "Look at me, Suzaku! Open your eyes and look, one last time."

You could just barely hear it, but Suzaku whispered faintly, "your geass won't work on me…"

Something shattered in Lelouch when he heard those words. They sounded like they had lost all hope. He grabbed Suzaku's face roughly, the blood from Lelouch's hands getting on his face, yelling, "LIVE, DAMN IT! JUST LIVE! PLEASE!"

The emerald eyes snapped open.

~~~OoOoOoO~~~~

And so did Lelouch's, feeling a hand shake his shoulders gently. "Wake up, Mr. Lamperouge." He was back in the waiting room. It was all just a dream. Suzaku dying, the blood, the tears…all a dream. Thank god. Lelouch looked up, catching gazes with a doctor with brown hair and glasses who was smiling.

"Suzaku is recovering well," he said lightly. "Would you like to go and see him?"

~~~OoOoOoO~~~

Suzaku was staring up at the ceiling in the hospital bed, seeming dazed and confused when Lelouch and the doctor walked in. His eyes were unfocused when his head turned slowly to look at them.

"Yes, quiet amazing, isn't it? I thought he would die, yet he made it through the whole operation. So much blood-loss, I'd lost faith. So determined, your friend was," the doctor was saying.

A smirk formed on Lelouch's lips. "Oh, is that so? That's a bit fascinating."

The doctor nodded. "I leave you now. Don't be long. If he's a little off, don't fret much about it." He informed, before closing the door behind him.

Lelouch watched the door for a while and turned to Suzaku, moving to his side. "You look…"

Suzaku gripped the ends of the white sheets tightly, sighing deeply. "Terrible?"

More like almost dead.

"I was going to say pale…" Lelouch muttered, placing his hand on top of Suzaku's. "Your hands are freezing. How are you feeling?"

Suzaku's shoulders heaved into a small shrug. "Fine, I suppose. A little dizzy though. And my vision is kind of blurry; I can hardly focus on anything."

Lelouch hung his head. "Sorry."

"It's not your fault," Suzaku said bitterly, his voice appearing to suddenly have strength. "I did what I had to do. If I didn't pretend to be Zero, you would be here now in my position…" He trailed off, and Lelouch lifted his head to see Suzaku glaring at him.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

Suzaku adapted a iron grip on Lelouch's hands, squeezing hard. "You forced me to live…you are your stupid geass."

The atmosphere was unexpectedly turning sour.

Lelouch bit back his anger. Why wasn't he happy about at least living? "I didn't activate it."

"Maybe not, but you cursed me with it in the first place," Suzaku spat. "I should be dead. The doctor knows it, too. If I never had that 'live on' geass in me…"

"You would be dead. I saved your life. Be grateful."

At this point, Suzaku was nearly yelling. "Grateful? Listen, I'd rather be dead than in this condition. You don't understand how much pain I'm in! It hurts just to move a tiny bit!"

They were in each other's faces now, both with expressions of passionate hatred.

"So you'd leave me," Lelouch uttered desperately. "When you know I'd blame myself for your death? When you know that I would wallow in my self-pity and grief?"

Suzaku relaxed, slowly lacing his fingers around Lelouch's. "No, that's not what I'm sa-"

Lelouch pulled back. "It's exactly what you're saying. Just shut up." He sounded like he was about to cry as he repeated, "shut up, shut up, shut up," even though Suzaku wasn't speaking.

"And to think, I was actually falling for you, Kururugi." He said under his breath.

That hit Suzaku where it hurts the most; his heart, which skipped a beat as Lelouch sped out the room.

~~~OoOoOoO~~~

Lelouch was just exiting the hospital when he crossed paths with Kallen, the boy with an expression of pure fury, his lips twisted in a frown. He was walking fast, but the red head blocked him with her body.

"Where are you going? Is he okay?" She asked quietly, clutching a book close to her chest.

Lelouch waved her off. "He's fine," he replied, his voice uncaring and emotionless. Unfortunately, his purple eyes seemed to be muttering. As childish as it may be, Lelouch almost wished Suzaku had just died. Maybe then, he'd be happy, since that was apparently what he wanted.

Kallen raised her eyebrows, already sensing tension. "What happened now?"

"Nothing that's any of your concern."

"Right," Kallen mumbled. "I'm going to go see how he is…take this." She slid the book she had been holding into Lelouch's hand and pushed past him, making sure her disappointment showed on her face.

Lelouch glanced down at the book. The front had a tag that read, 'Suzaku Kururugi.'

"What is this?"

Kallen heard him, but he had said it so low, she wasn't sure if she was meant to. "Read it. Maybe something will fix up this little war you and Suzaku have started."

And then she left, leaving Lelouch standing there, with Suzaku's…

Diary.