Hey readers, I would just like to thank you for the steady-ish stream of reviews I have been getting. With that said, I would like to ask that you keep it up, as reviews keep me inspired enough to write. You get that, people? Review or I'll start posting less often. BTW, thanks to my good just-talked-to-him-for-the-first-time-yesterday friend Perspicacity, who gave me permission to use some of his ideas from his wonderful, you-should-totally-read-it one-shot The Life of Brian: A Super Harry Parody.

-tsd-

Harry Potter was, for the first time in his personal history, born with a smile on his face. After all, why not smile when you were happier than ever? Killing sparkly vampires will do that to you, Harry thought with a mental smile.

As he listened to his new parents talking to a doctor, he heard them asking questions. "Is that normal? For him not to cry?" asked Harry's concerned father.

"It happens sometimes, Mr. Norris. There is nothing for you to worry about," replied the doctor.

"Are you sure, Doctor? I would definitely want to know," the man named Norris persisted.

"Oh, leave the poor man alone, Chuck. Brian looks fine. Let's just be happy that he's not crying," a voice that sounded suspiciously like Lily Potter's suggested.

Harry was stunned. Was he hearing this right, or was he still woozy from being born? Was his father really Chuck Norris? The famous General Awesome?

Apparently so, as Harry soon heard the sounds of an excited nurse asking Harry's new father for an autograph.

This was definitely going to be an interesting life.

-tsd-

A six year old Brian, a.k.a. Harry Potter, tried the new kick on the practice dummy again.

"No, son, when you roundhouse for the face, you have to curl your toes back or you'll break them," Chuck Norris patiently explained.

Trying again, Harry this time managed to destroy the dummies head with a burst of super-Norris strength. Harry had been extremely surprised to find out that he had became far more awesome as the son of Chuck Norris than he had ever been before, and had taken to calling himself Captain Awesome when nobody was around.

"Very good, Brian. Now, let's go kick some hobos or something."

Harry loved his new dad.

-tsd-

Harry Potter, under his current name of Brian, entered his first martial arts tournament at the age of sixteen. Once in it, he found he had to hold back considerably to avoid hurting the other contestants and decided that being a Norris was definitely just as awesome as all of the jokes made it out to be.

After winning his match, Harry went back to his dad, who coached him some more on how to be a good fighter, and then started practicing his kicks in anticipation of his next match.

Winning the tournament easily, Harry and his father went to get pizza and then practiced their kicking on Robert Pattinson, whom Chuck has hired to be a punching bag at Harry's request, which he refused to explain. Inwardly, Harry referred to it as nostalgia for what had been his favorite life before he was born into this one.

-tsd-

Dying in a hail of gunfire at the age of thirty-two, having just killed one-hundred and thirty seven terrorists with his bare hands, Harry was happy that he finally lived out a life that was relaxing, humorous and devoid of any true hard work.

-tsd-

There you have it, a quick little chapter that has elements of a crackfic and will hopefully not disgust you guys enough to get you to drop this fic. Please don't forget to review, and have a nice day.