A/N - Huge apologies for the delay in updating! Those Sons of Anarchy boys have been causing no end of trouble! On the bright side, Ray is causing his own trouble as he and Abby realise the weight of her pregnancy on their relationship... Enjoy!
Abby awoke the next morning to find a note from Ray. He had scribbled it haphazardly, eager to get out of the house the second he could. She fingered it as her eyes became less blurry and read it over.
Shit to do. We need to talk.
She sighed, he was always so abrupt. There was no doubt that he knew why she had been so unwell, she wanted to berate him for not being home but at least he wanted to talk to her. That was one up on the usual state of affairs.
She groaned as she stood herself up and ruffled her hair, feeling exhausted and sore. All she needed was a little bit of comfort but the house seemed empty as she pulled on her slippers and shuffled downstairs.
"Morning."
She held her hand to her chest as Terry sprang up from behind the island in the kitchen. He beamed at her and waved around a carton of orange juice.
"Morning, Ter," she murmured as he poured her a glass and handed it over. "Where's your brother?"
"Out." He gave her a lopsided smile. "He had to, uh, do some work. I took the kids to school so you could sleep."
Abby nodded, sort of half-heartedly. "Thanks. You didn't have to."
"Ray said you needed the help." She gritted her teeth, wondering what else Ray might have said.
"You see him this mornin'?" Terry nodded. "How'd he look?"
"Smart," he shrugged. "Bit stressed, but he always looks like that."
Abby grimaced, if anything Ray had been looking remarkably less stressed recently. Maybe it was because he had been out more, maybe he was sleeping when he was away. Maybe it was that he had been fucking someone else, she would be an idiot to think that he wasn't when he'd come home soaked in another woman's smell. Her lip wobbled a little and Terry frowned.
"You okay?" he asked, sliding his seat across towards her. Abby felt her eyes well up at his gentle tone and she let herself sob like she so wanted to. Terry panicked and instinctively put his arms around her. "God, Abby, I'm sorry."
She shook her head, it wasn't his fault. "I'm just a mess," she whined, wiping her eyes with her hand. "I'm sorry, it's just... hormones." She patted her stomach as if he would understand.
Terry did and he felt his heart skip a beat for her. "Jesus, how far along are you?"
"Six weeks," she whispered, as if saying it out loud would somehow make it real. "I just, I don't know if he's ready. This was never the plan, and..." She paused and looked at his sympathetic smile. "Is there someone else, Terry? Has he mentioned someone?"
It was unlike Ray to tell Terry anything. His arm started to shake as he thought on her words. Ray made time for nobody, that was just his way. He liked to isolate himself, keep himself to family and work and that was it. His intrigue in that girl at the gym had bothered Terry for weeks but suddenly it made him feel the bile in his stomach well up to his throat.
"Ray loves you, Ab," he said supportively. "Of course there's nobody else."
Abby was shaking her head even as he spoke, unconvinced. "I don't know, I just think there's something going on, something not right." She didn't want to tell him about that other night, it was mortifying enough to know that Ray had been with someone else, let alone share it with his brother. "I feel he's not... here."
"You gotta talk to him," Terry said, squeezing her hand. "I know it's hard but honesty is the only way, you know that." She nodded, she knew.
"He wanted to," she murmured. "I'm just not ready for what he might have to say."
Ray had Avy clear his schedule and assigned Lena the odd jobs he needed to get rid of. There was only one thing he needed to do, and that was take control of the only thing he could.
Turning up at Lexi's unannounced didn't seem so bad now, after holding her brother at gunpoint, she was more amenable to answering the door to him when he was alone. Ray smiled as he saw her, just the sight of her filling him with an inexplicable warmth. He scooped her to him, bending her back dramatically as he kissed her, his lips working tenderly against hers. She murmured contently.
"Hello you," she giggled as his hand ran up beneath her shirt and stroked along her stomach. He sank to his knees as he righted her and kissed her belly, knowing that everything he wanted was right there in that moment.
"Let me make love to you," he begged. "I need you."
She didn't get to answer before he picked her up and carried her into her room. He laid her down carefully and clambered on top of her, cautious not to put his weight on her but wanting nothing more than to overpower her.
"What's gotten into you?" she laughed, purring approvingly as his lips kissed along her neck. "Ray!"
"You, you're mine," he insisted, wrapping his arms around her back and pulling her tightly to him. "All mine."
She blushed, she would like to be, that was for sure, but she wasn't entirely convinced. "I guess," she whispered. "I don't want to be anyone else's."
"I don't want you to be either," he said with a firmness that surprised her. "You and me. Our family. Our world."
He was burying his face between her breasts as he spoke, feeling safe there, listening to her heartbeat against his tongue. Lexi murmured with satisfaction.
"Escapism." She pushed his head back a little and held his chin, looking in his eyes. "Is everything okay at home?"
That was the last thing he wanted to think about. He had spent the whole night sitting on that bed, staring at Abby and wondering if her having a baby would make a difference. It was a question he didn't want to answer.
"Everything is fine," he said. "I'm talking to her later. It's done, I swear." He looked at her steadily. "I want this. I want this, with you."
Lexi nodded, running her hand over his head. "That's perfect," she smiled, leaning into him. "Because I really want that too." Ray grinned as he continued to kiss down her body, eager to get to her underwear. He wanted to make her scream, he needed to know that he could fulfil her constantly and always.
He pushed her skirt up, growling hungrily as he nibbled along her calf toward the back of her knee. He could hear her breathing changing, becoming faster, needing him more.
"I have an appointment, tomorrow," she whispered breathlessly, trying to remember before she knew they'd forget. "Can you..."
Ray stopped as he heard his phone vibrating in his pants pocket. He groaned in annoyance and jerked it out to silence it. Lexi closed her eyes, dreading the thought of it being Abby again.
"It's Terry." Ray stood up and moved away, apologising as he grabbed it. "What's up?"
"Where the hell are you?" Terry sounded furious. "Your wife needs you home, whatever the fuck you're doing, you need to stop and get back."
"I'm in the middle of something," Ray snapped. He looked over at Lexi to see she had sat up on the bed and was adjusting her clothing, giving up hope on his spirited embrace. "Can you deal with it?"
"No, Ray, I can't." Terry was seething. "Get in your flash goddamn car and get to the gym or, so help me, I'm gonna find you and I'm gonna kick the-"
"Go," Lexi whispered, standing and kissing Ray's cheek gently. "Don't worry about it, I don't mind, I know you're busy." Her expression was genuine, she was being honest with him. "Swing by after work, if you have time, I'll be here."
Terry finally finished ranting just as she stopped speaking. Ray sighed, at least she was being understanding. "Thank you," he mouthed. "Ter, okay, I'm on the way. Be there in twenty mins." He hung up and looked at Lex. "We're not done."
"Come catch me up later," she teased. "Honestly, it's fine, go, he obviously needs you. I'll just... wait."
She pouted as she sat back against the headboard and Ray groaned as he looked over her, wishing he could stay. He sighed and nodded, leaning across and kissing her nose.
"I'll try and get back tonight," he said. "Otherwise tomorrow, tomorrow we'll be able to do this. Properly."
He slunk out and drove across to the gym. Terry was waiting outside, looking irritated, and before Ray could get out of the car, he jumped in beside him.
"Let's take a drive around the block," Terry muttered, pointing in the direction he wanted Ray to go. Ray groaned and pulled back out onto the street as Terry looked at him, annoyed. "What's going on, Ray?"
"Nothing." He shrugged. "Work."
"She got a name?" Terry rolled his eyes. "Is it the girl you box with? Alexia Stranhope?"
Ray almost ran a light as Terry said her name, he hated that she crossed into his very real world. "You don't know what you're talking about, everything's fine."
Terry didn't speak for a few moments until they were further away from the gym. "Abby's pregnant. Do you know that?" Ray didn't answer, only proving he did. "You gonna, you know, take care of her?" Still, silence. "Jesus, Ray. What are you doing? You got a family, two kids, a wife who loves you no end. And you're fucking around?"
"You don't know what you're talking about," Ray snapped, irritated. "I wouldn't do that."
"Good," Terry replied sharply. "You remember when Bunch came along? Mom and Dad were fighting all the time, they had to suck it all up. Babies change shit real quickly. You got a duty to take care of my family."
"I am taking care of my family," Ray replied, annoyed. He was doing the right thing, moving away, not lying to anyone. Once he spoke to Abby, told her it was over, it was all going to be done.
"Are you?" Terry looked over at him, leaning his arm on the window. "Because having a baby, another baby, it takes work. Commitment. You made vows with Abby to make it work, whatever happens. You owe her that."
Ray didn't want to think about it but he could feel his chest growing right with every word Terry said. All he wanted was to get out, but Terry was getting into his head.
"I'll talk to her tonight." Ray pulled around back in front of the gym abruptly. "Okay?"
"Til death do you part, Ray," Terry muttered as he opened the door. "Remember that, you promised her that. Don't let anyone get to you, you're already spoken for."
