A/N: Thanks for reviewing!

The only way I know you love me

The scientists were all safely outside the building when it exploded. He hadn't been expecting it, and was afraid for Natalia. Had she gotten out? Taking in their surroundings, he saw a helicopter lifting off – piloted by a familiar blond woman. Figuring the civilians were safe enough, he ran toward where the chopper had been. The icy river was churning from something, and he had a sinking feeling in his stomach.

Sprinting downriver, he watched the water as closely as he could. There – had to be her. It took some work to get ahead of her and wait until – he punched through the ice with his left hand. She was still conscious because she grabbed onto it, albeit weakly. He heaved her up and away from the water and rapidly breaking ice.

Sprawled on the shore, he watched as she pulled herself up enough to cough out some water. He sat up and put his right hand hesitantly on her back. When she'd finished, she leaned back against him, shivering. Wrapping his arm around her made him wish he had a blanket or something more helpful.

"Well, I hope you were more successful with your half of the mission than I was," she said, sounding remarkably calm.

His smile was intense with relief and he wanted to – to kiss her. But, no, that might be inappropriate. Especially since she was still coughing. "It did," he managed to say, and she smiled slightly and closed her eyes.

After a much too short length of time, she pulled away from him slowly. "We should go question them."

"We should go somewhere to get you warm," he countered.

She smiled at him – a hard thing to resist. "I'm warm enough. I may not be the Winter Soldier, but I've trained in extreme temperatures," she told him wanly.

God, she was frustrating. And adorable when she said his code name in that mocking tone of hers. He was too distracted to keep arguing, so she got up and started walking. Hastily, he got to his feet and caught up with her. She was still trembling a little, so he took off his coat and settled it around her shoulders.

That made her stop in her tracks – but only for a moment. "Thank you," she murmured.

"Can't have you freeze to death because of your own stubbornness," he replied lightly.

She flashed him a grin. "I only use my stubbornness for good, Barnes. Like refusing to freeze to death when my enemies try to make me."

"Sounds like a good system." Nodding, she pulled his coat a little tighter around herself subconsciously and seemed intent on walking. The snow was deep and it was good they both were wearing boots.

Authorities were arriving in the scene, but they managed to slip through the growing crowd and get close to the former prisoners. Natalia moved quietly among them, asking questions while he watched the police to see if any of them intended to start rounding up the witnesses. There was still the fire in the warehouse to contain, and the occasional explosion, most likely set off by the fire and not more traps. But they were being cautious. So Natalia had some time before they needed to leave.

There hadn't been another explosion in about fifteen minutes when she walked away from the scientists and over to where he was waiting. Without any hesitation, she slipped her arm under his, warming him instantly. Her face was pale and she was shivering as she pulled him along back toward the safe house.

He worried about what to do to warm her up the whole walk and was surprised by how quickly they got back. Once inside, she headed over to the window and looked out.

"Hey, how about something warm to drink?" he asked awkwardly. She gave the barest of nods, and he left to search the kitchen. There was some canned soup as well as instant tea and hot chocolate. He didn't know what she liked, so he heated up some of everything. It was clear that the place hadn't been used in a while and he let the tap run for a bit before pouring the water into the kettle.

When it was pretty close to ready, he went back to the living room and was concerned to find her still standing there. He had expected she would at least go change, if not take a shower or a bath or something. Hesitantly, he walked up next to her to look outside at the snow. It wasn't falling – it was pretty warm for this time of year. The river hadn't taken much prompting for the ice to break.

"Natalia," he murmured, uncertain of what question to ask her.

She turned to look up at him, her gaze intense enough to make him swallow nervously. "I've been making mistakes. I don't know what they were, but I want to apologize for dragging you into all of this," she continued, directing her attention back out the window as she rubbed her arms absently.

Slowly, telegraphing his movements, he reached out to take hold of her shoulders and turn her gently away from the window and toward him, not letting go. "It's not your fault," he told her firmly.

"Isn't it?" she asked simply.

"I'm here because I want to be, Natalia."

She bit her lip and looked away abruptly, like she might cry. "Why?" she whispered.

This wasn't the time to say the real reason. Not with her like this, not when there were more pressing matters. Or maybe he was just a coward. "Whatever else we are, Natalia, let me be your friend."

Clearly surprised, she glanced up at him then away before taking a hesitant step forward and leaning her head against his chest. "I can't beat her."

It was an effort to resist taking her into his arms and he held very still to keep from spooking her. She'd been like that before, he thought – always wary of showing any emotion. Of letting anyone get close. She had good reason for it and he was touched by how trusting she was being. "I know you can," he insisted.

"How?" She raised her head to look him in the eye and he reached up with his real hand to brush a wet strand of hair out of her face.

"I don't know," he said with a slight smile. "But you always amaze me."

Her smile was watery but it made his heart pound. "I suppose I'll have to figure out something. I'd hate to disappoint," she added, her teasing tone at odds with the almost shy expression she was wearing.

"You won't." The moment stretched and he waited for some kind of sign from her – to either back off or that she was okay with this. With him.

"I, uh, should go get changed," she said suddenly, taking a step back. He didn't say anything but he was aware that his face probably fell at her reaction. "Thank you for this, James. It was a real life saver," she continued, distancing herself as she took off his coat and held it out. "I hope you weren't too cold."

"I'm always cold."

A look of uncertainty passed over her face before he grabbed the coat from her. With an almost apologetic smile, she walked away and he watched her silently. He had been thinking that… that the conversation hadn't been heading this way. Maybe he'd misread the situation. How did she think of him? There had to be some level of trust or she would have left him in Odessa. Or any of the places since then. And, given that she rarely trusted other people, he thought he was making headway.

So maybe he was just a useful sort of person to have around. Maybe she found him pleasant enough but was sticking with her ideas about romance having no place in her life. And maybe she was right about that. Maybe it was stupid of him to be even considering such a thing. It wasn't working out too well for anyone else he knew. Barton and Lang were separated from their families, Steve and Wanda were unlikely to see their respective interests, being on the other side of the law from them. But at least international laws weren't keeping he and Natalia apart. Only she was.

He wasn't going to fight her – if she didn't want him, he understood. But he couldn't tell what she wanted. She would have to say something, either way. Knowing her, it probably meant he would have to say something first. Though perhaps the middle of this mission wasn't the best time. It was already hitting home for her a bit too much. He didn't need to make it more personal.


After a while, she came into the kitchen where he was idly stirring the soup. Her face lit up at the sight of it and he was instantly willing to forgive her avoidance earlier. "It smells delicious. I did not know you could cook."

"It's just from concentrate. Though I was cooking quite a bit in Bucharest," he added.

She pulled out a couple of bowls and stood close to him to peer into the pot. "Look at you, with all these hidden talents."

"I'm sure you have a few of those, too." He took the bowls from her and ladled out a good portion for each of them.

"Yeah, well, maybe, but cooking definitely isn't one of them," she replied, carefully taking the bowl he handed her.

He watched her head for the table before grabbing his own dinner and joining her.

"It's as good as it smells," she assured him between bites and it was hard to take his eyes off of her to eat.

"You, uh, feeling better?"

She paused imperceptibly to consider. "I am. Thank you."

The silence was a bit awkward and he focused on his soup instead of watching her trying not to watch him.

"Look, James… I really appreciate what you've done for me, especially today. I don't know how to repay you," she began.

"It's nothing," he insisted.

Pressing her lips together, she nodded. "Alright, well, I think I have a plan. You're not going to like it."

A smile tugged at his features. "I'm sure I won't. What is it?"