Ian Hecox

"Finally you got that dart right." Anthony said. Drew Peacock slumped on the ground, unconscious, "I can't believe I'm looking at a limp sleeping Drew Peacock."

"Yeah, he tried to do this the hard way." I replied, looking down on the snoring doctor.

"A peaceful, limp and hairy Drew Peacock."

"Drew Peacock's starting to spout white foamy liquid from his head."

"Nah dude, I poured a little toothpaste in his beer." Anthony confessed.

"Why?" I raised an eyebrow.

"I dunno, for hilarious reasons." He raised his two hands, the gesture of 'I don't know'.

"Did it ever cross your mind that his name sounds like Droopy Cock?" I asked.

"Nope," a sudden expression of clarity showed in my friend's face, "How did you figure that out?"

"I think because if the dick jokes the writer's making us say?" I said.

"Standard Smosh material."" He grinned, "How about we hide his body? They won't like it if they saw a Drew Peacock out in the open."

"Yeah, you hold his head and I'll work on handling his shaft." I said.

"What?" Anthony was disgusted.

"What? I mean... SHOE! You pervert." That last line just came out of me without warning. No dick joke intended. I think?

Then the alarm suddenly went off, the whole place glowed red like a disco with red lights. I turned my head; Billy was speaking to the surveillance camera hanging on the ceiling, that dumbass. "What the hell did you do this time, Billy?!" I shouted.

"I was just saying hi to the people watching us." Billy smiled.

"My God, how dumb are you?! You fricking dumbass."

"We gotta move guys!" Mari bellowed, they dashed out of the studio with me following them, running back to the elevator.

The elevator doors slid open, revealing three guys in black. They jumped as soon as they caught sight of us.

"TURN RIGHT!" I shouted. Mari gasped and turned right, pulling Billy. I slipped on the slippery marble floor, landing on my back and sliding directly to the elevator. A guard lunged at me but then a hand grabbed my arm and tugged me away preventing the big dude from landing on me and squashing me like a bug, it was Anthony, pulling me by the hand on the slippery floor away from the guards. He kept dragging me across the floor creating abrasions on my skin. I stopped Anthony and quickly stumbled to my feet and ran behind my friends, with the remaining two goons chasing us.

"Thanks dude!" I said to Anthony.

"Don't mention it." He said as we ran along a long corridor. A big candy dispenser was standing near the wall, its huge glass bowl with gumballs in it, resting on a thick glass pipe. I ran to it and tipped it over, shattering the glass and spilling the treats. I heard the guards yelp and followed by a loud thud. They fell for it... Literally.

"Stairs!" Mari screamed as the hallway blared with alarms. My eyes caught sight of a door with the label 'STAIRS', the same one Mari was heading to, she shoved the door open and a poorly lit dark stairwell welcomed us, "Down here."

I shut the door behind me, Mari led the group down the stairs, going around corners.

11th floor... We went down another flight of stairs. 10th floor... We kept going down. I lost count of the floor count but we just kept descending down the stairs until I felt a shortness of breath as a constricting sensation occurred around my abdomen, I fell to my knees on a landing of the stairs, clutching my chest.

"Ian! You alright?!" Anthony stopped running to help me. I just wheezed and gasped for air, the feeling on my hand clutching my chest became numb, I brought it up to my face and my hand started fading away.

Not again.

I held out my fading hand. Anthony's eyes widened, "Oh crap, not again." He pulled out his phone and looked at a picture of me, he looked terrified.

"W-What is it?" I stuttered. He showed me a picture of me shirtless wearing a diaper, it was from the Halloween episode 'The New Slenderman' we shot, but my head was missing, faded away, "Oh God, wait—why do you have that picture of me in your phone?" I raised an eyebrow, confused by the fact that Anthony had that picture.

"Uhmm, none of your business!" He awkwardly backed away then locked his phone.

"Why's his picture doing that?" Mari asked, weirded out.

"I'll explain later, we have to go now." The pain temporarily went away. I stood up to my feet and ushered them to keep going. Mari continued to go down the stairs until we spotted the floor sign: 2ND FLOOR. We're almost out. But then we heard noises coming from the ground floor, followed by a series of footsteps going up to our spot.

"Shit, the guards!" Anthony cursed.

"In here!" Mari opened the door leading to the second floor. Same dull grey walls and same reflective marble floor. We sprinted to the elevator and it opened, another set of guards were in the elevator waiting for us. Mari turned to the left and was almost snatched by the approaching guard; we all followed her which led us to a dead end. Dozens of guards were walking at us like flood rapidly flowing.

"What are we gonna do now?!" Billy squealed. Mari scanned the area and went to a corner with a metal rectangular cover; she reached for the handle and pulled it open, a trash chute.

"Through here! This leads outside to the dumpster." Mari exclaimed as lots of footsteps drew nearer.

"I don't know, I've had a terrible experience with dumpsters." Billy said. My temper had reached its peak; I lifted him with my two hands then shoved him head first down the trash chute, "WEEEEEE!" his voice echoed.

Mari dove in followed by Anthony and I jumped in next and began sliding down. The chute was stinky and slippery going straight down to the outside world. I kept on sliding till I saw daylight, I landed in a huge trash container, with the piles of trash breaking my fall.

"Mari?! Anthony?! Billy?!" I called. Mari rose from the huge pile of trash bags.

"I'm here!" Mari raised her hand, Anthony rose behind her.

"Same here!" Our clothes were messy, marked with various inks and dirt.

"Where's the idiot?" I asked before something moved between my butt cheeks, a nose. I actually ended up sitting on Billy's face.

"Mmmph!" Billy grunted from under my butt.

"What's that? I can't hear you with my fart." I mustered all my strength and let out the thickest and loudest fart I can.

It was like thunder!

"OH GOOOD!" Billy's arms flailed around the garbage. I cackled at it. Maybe it was a little too mean but it was hella funny.

"Hey dude, get off of him!" Anthony pushed me aside and Billy gasped for air.

"Smells like almonds." Billy remarked, smiling. We climbed out of the trash bin. I couldn't take it anymore, he's caused us enough trouble.

"Billy, I think you should go home." I said.

"Why?" He asked.

"You've been slowing us down." I admitted as tears started to flow from the boy's eyes.

"But I-I just wanted to help."

Anthony walked over to Billy, patting his back, "Why are you so hard on the boy?" Anthony ranted, "I told you he has special problems!" I almost forgot about that. "—and he helped you escape." Anthony continued.

"Yeah, only to get us into even more trouble." I sassed my friend.

"You're one inconsiderate jerk, Ian, d'you know that?" Anthony raised his voice.

"At least I'm not dumb." I crossed my arms.

"Whoa! look who's talking Mr. Smartypantz." Anger burned inside me.

"I don't even look anything like Mr. Smartypantz!"

"That was a figure of speech, don't you get it?!" His tone was angrier, "I can't take it anymore, I always have to put up with you, you and your half baked ideas."

"Whoa, half baked?!" My fist closed, "Who's idea was it to take this boy with us?" I pointed to Billy, "He's caused us enough trouble more than he's save us from, no offense Billy." I looked at him and saw him crying his eyes out.

"Look what you did, you made him cry!" Anthony bellowed.

I realized what I just said. Anthony was right, it was too much, "I-I'm sorry Billy." I apologized, reaching out a hand but Anthony slapped it away.

"You've done enough, Ian." Anthony took Billy and walked away from us, "You're a dick." He said, "I can't believe I'm even friends with you. If you'll always gonna be like that, I don't wanna be your friend anymore!"

"FINE!" I pulled out my BFF Necklace and yanked it from my neck, snapping the chain. I threw it on the ground.

"DITTO!" Anthony did the same and even stomped on his half. He and Billy walked away from us, going into the open road.

What have I done?!