Nope, I still do not own Naruto!
Beta'd by Mad Mardigan.
Chapter 11: The Middle
Ha, you missed the rest of the conversation. That is what you get for hanging out with me! Okay, so it is dark and to tell the truth…I'm a little disappointed I missed the rest of it too. However, I digress and say 'fuck it'! Was it really our business anyway? Shake your head no, because you know I am right. I hate that I am right to, so don't get you underwear in bunch. Ha! I made a joke and you thought it was funny. I let my eyes adjust for a moment and I can see his silhouette. He sleeps on his stomach and his back is perfect. At least I think so, the more I think about it…he is just perfect period. To tell the truth I think I am just a little obsessed with him. I cannot help myself, I find him perfect in every way possible! You know and I know that this will never leave my head.
I am so awkward in my head and my eyes are traitors! The nerve of my eyes to show emotion that I dare not show on my face or my body for that matter! Here I thought I had this emotions thing under control, but no! One body part just had to go off and do its own thing, I hate my eyes, or at least, I am very disappointed in them. Whatever, I say fuck it! I try stretch carefully because for one, I know if I don't my ribs will bitch me out and for two, I don't want to wake the night. "Here Red, take these." He has to be a light sleeper because all I did was stretch. He hands me some meds and some water, the moonlight is dancing on his skin. I cannot help but want to touch his skin, but I know how to control my impulses. Besides, I like it better when he touches me first. I hand him back the water and lay back down. I really do not want to talk tonight, because I went to sleep before I heard him answer, that last part. Not mention that, I just want to make him work to touch me, stupid! But, it is so true and I cannot help it!
"You have a way of pissing Karin right off, you know that?" I hate when he whispers, because that makes me want to listen to him even more. I roll over and our faces are only inches apart. His breath smells of vanilla, did I mention that vanilla is my favorite…He fucking made it my favorite. "Karin just needs to point a finger at someone, did you breakup?" I hated to ask, but I had to know. "To tell you the truth Red, I don't know." He does not know? Whom the fuck would know? "Karin doesn't like me and so it is not hard for me to piss her off." He trails his fingers across my lips and it takes everything in me…I mean everything in me, not to capture them in my mouth and start sucking on them.
"That's true. I think she knew that you were important to me." Like I said, I digress and say fuck it! "Does that mean you two are still a couple?" Yup! I asked and you know what! I don't care if it makes me look desperate, but it does…I mean does it really? "She just said she wanted to be with me and then took off walking." He pulled his pillow under his arms. "I was going to follow her, but Sakura stuck her big head out the window and said you looked bad. I got up the stairs and you were sleep." Sakura really dislikes Karin and it was starting to show more, now that Karin was nearly out the door.
"Sakura would have said anything to keep me from going after her." I am glad he recognized it. "Sakura is just that way; it is her way of protecting you." I told you people, cheerleaders were evil. "I know. I just wish I could have talked to Karin." He sighed and that vanilla breath sent chills threw my body. "I am not sure if it is over or if she was just so pissed that all she could do was walk away." Sasuke is cute when he is concerned. "At any rate, I feel like that this thing between her and I is incomplete, somehow." I love it when he shrugs his shoulders, I know I already said it, but he really is perfect.
"Since we're on the Karin thing." You see why I didn't want to talk to him. "I know you heard everything and I'm sorry. What I mean is that, I am not trying to pressure you or anything. I was hoping you wouldn't hear that, but Sakura is so nosy that I'm not surprised." He is right and I sigh. "I mean you know now and I guess I want to know are you okay with how I feel?" Well that is just great! Why would he ask me such a thing! I am dealing with my own shit here! Then here he goes and just adds his own shit to my pile! "You can feel what ever you want. I have no problem with what you do. I am just not good for you and everyone sees it, except you." Yup! I fucking said it and you people know I am right. I have no business with someone like him and the list of why is freaking huge! "For such a brilliant redhead, you sure do say some foolish things. I wish you wouldn't think so hard, it is like you are damning us before I can even get you out the gate good."
What the hell is he talking about? You know this is why I hate talking to the night, because I always end up so confused. "Say what you want, but I know my place. I also know that you are everything a teenage boy is supposed to be. I missed that train by a few hundred kilometers." Sasuke is chuckling. I swear I am not trying to be funny. I am serious, and is he even listening, I mean really listening to me! You know what, I really do not understand this man, and I'm trying really hard people! Why does he want this so bad? That sounds like a sensible question, right? "Why do you want this so bad, it is not like I can pass for a normal human?" Do I really want to know his answer, probably not? But, like I said, I digress and say fuck it!
"That is your problem right there, Red. You're stuck on what looks best and I am stuck on what feels right." His lips press lightly on my forehead. "I want just a yes or no answer this time. Do you want me to love you?" That is like playing Russian roulette, with fucking words! I hate him, and what he does to me. I always want to be irrational and irresponsible when it comes to him. I am fool and I know it! Ain't that the damnedest thing, to know you are a complete and utter fool for one person? But, what can I do…I want to be with him. "Yes." That really did just come out my mouth and for some strange reason. I don't want to take it back. I can feel his hand on my neck and it sends a shiver down my spine. "I have loved you since that evening I found you under the tree." Well, excuse the hell out of me! I knew he was a strange one, from the first time he pressed in to my side. "I will keep on loving you, because you want me to love you." I can feel my skin heating up and his breath lingering on my eyelids. I am not big on smiling, but I sure feel like I should be. It is funny though, my own parent doesn't even love me.
He does though; he loves me so much that he waited for me. "I am not sure if I know how to do this, Sasuke." That was stupid! I read all the time, I have tons of words in my head, and that is all I could come up with! I really am a complete halfwit! "Stop trying to think your way into loving me, just try knowing you want to love me first. Then, maybe we can get your brain to cooperate with the rest of your body." You see, that is why I want this and more importantly, why I really want this. I swear to you people, I never wanted anything in my life. I was just living and praying not cause to much trouble. I even accepted a few things along the way… like not having my father's love and that getting stuffed in a locker was inevitable. Silly I know, but something changed. Sasuke Uchiha and his crew came, changed my life, and now everyday is gift. "Look I know you are still in a lot of pain and you are bound to pass out at anytime. But, you are mine Red, you always have been. I was just waiting for you to realize it." The drugs are kicking in and I cannot help but want to stay awake. Ah, fuck it! He will be here when I wake. I know he will. Because he loves me.
Well, the birds are chirping and the summer flowers have bloomed. It is summer and I hate summer, it is way too bright and for someone who wears all black, I do not fare well in the heat. I tell you what I do love though, I love that I have an amazing boyfriend, a sister who gets on my last nerve, real friends that love me back, and a brother who would go to hell for me. The list is short of course, but just a year ago, that list was even shorter than that. It has been five months since that night. You think I am nuts, right? Well of course you do, because I am! You have missed a lot of stuff and I am so nice that I am going to tell you everything! Let's start small and work our way up, shall we? Karin, what a lovely girl and so mean. Sasuke broke up with her that morning and boy was she pissed off!
The girl started the stupidest of rumors and Sakura got so made that she punched Karin in the face. The girl sort of deserved it, but if you ask me, Kura enjoyed it way to much! I think Karin is dating some dude named Jugo and apparently, she does not like him. As if I give a damn, the girl never liked me very much, so I say fuck it! That leads me to Sakura and Lee. They are together and are very happy. My favorite precious moments, couple are doing well! I still like to watch the two of them. Hinata and Naruto are just too adorable, I love that those two are together. She keeps him calm and focused, both of which all of us are grateful. I love how she encourages him. She really makes him believe in himself.
Kankuro has graduated! He made it through his senior year with no real problems. The idiot really received an athletic scholarship for football. For running into someone else head first, they handout a full scholarship! I am so proud of him and I know he is going to make good use of it. The sad part was Kankuro's school is about an hour away, not sad for me…sad for Shino. That of course changed when Shino got his brand new car…after that, an hour was no longer an issue. The two have become hopelessly dependent on one another. They spend all of their time together and it is so stupid how they even finish one another's sentences. The two of them make a very nice couple and it seems to work for the both of them. Nevertheless, I cannot help but, wonder if it's going to last? I am a realist, people. You know that better than anyone, I mean he will be in college. He will be meeting all sorts of new people. He may even meet someone special, not saying that Shino is not special. Yeah, I know I am thinking too much, but there is a lot of what ifs.
I really do try not to think so much and Sasuke says it does nothing but cause trouble. He is right though, I do have a tendency to piss people off. He is always trying to keep me from over doing it. He is my mine you know. That is right! I am dating the Uchiha brat, for the last five months. You already knew I was a sucker for the night, because I am the moon and the stars. When we started officially dating, I was excited and flipping out…all at the same time. I was so afraid he was going to be shunned for dating an odd one like me. I was freaking out the day before school started back. You should have seen me! I smoked two packs of cigarettes and was paranoid as hell! When we got to school, he had to drag me from the car. I was twitching the whole day. We did get a few stares, but nothing bad really happened. Everyone just seemed to accept it and move on. People still speak to me as little as possible, but they always manage to say hello. Sasuke would probably hurt someone if I were completely ignored. It wouldn't bother me because I don't pay much attention to people anyway. Sasuke has to push into my side, so that I can speak to whoever said hi to me. I would lie and say I'm getting better at paying attention, but you know that would be a lie.
I have been working on expressing my emotions in my body too. The good part is I can at least tell him how I feel. I'm good with the words, but you know that already. Nevertheless, I still have a knack for getting him frustrated and it shows all over his body. You people know, I can be trying at times. It is mostly because, I'm not big on public displays of affection, and it gets to him. Did I mention I am really trying to work on that too? Call me nuts but, I hate the staring eyes and I know it is just me thinking about it too much. Do you blame me though? People do watch us and I know it, but it doesn't seem to bother him. It drives me insane! I feel like a fish that has someone tapping on the glass. When he does get me to kiss, it is always worth the fish in the glass bowl analogy. I must admit, I sure do like kissing him. His kisses are always so soft, tender, and warm. That is all we ever do though, and maybe the occasional heavy petting session, can you feel the disappointment? Yeah me to, I feel it every time he pulls away after some intense making out.
Talk about me expressing my emotions, he says that I express angry and disappointment, pretty damn well. I know I do, because I want…you know…it. I want to have sex like everyone else in a relationship! I know it would be good because it is he and I. I mean do you blame, have you seen the raven? He always says the same thing…'Red do you really want to be taken like that.' I always shout yes and all he does is chuckle softly, I have learned to pout. It developed shortly after I realized I wasn't going to have sex with him right away. I pout and I make sure to do it extra hard, but it makes no difference. I am not sure what we are waiting on, but whatever it is, I sure hope it would hurry up and come! That subject is a little intense so let's move on, shall we?
Wait a minute I think that is it, because everything is still that same. Let me think about it…oh' Neji and Kiba are having sex. Both claim it is purely sexually, but both of them get mad if the other even looks in someone else's direction. I predict that by the end of the summer we will have another couple to add to the ranks. I sure hope so because those two are already getting on my last nerve. Those two are neck and neck with that nutty sister of mine! Speaking of my nutty sister, nothing has really happened with her. Unless you want to count the fact that, she is no longer dwelling on the age difference between her and Shikamaru. He is a genius so I think she should have been grateful that he even liked her, being that she is a crazy and all.
I know I am forgetting something. I just cannot seem to think what it is. Oh' yeah, Itachi and Sasori are exchanging rings and Sasori is going to be an Uchiha. Naruto and Sasuke say it is about time. Naruto's parents said that they had already set a bad example for Sasuke, living in sin like that. Something about living with each other without sharing a last name and why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free, I was lost so I just nodded my head. You are officially caught up on the happenings and if I may say, I sure am happy. Right now, I am headed to Konoha Park to meet Sasuke. We do the same thing every Saturday. We meet in the park and he brings a blanket, something to snack on, and we pick a poet to recite. It is fun for us anyway and lame to everyone else. I wonder what else he is bringing now?
"Red, you are hopelessly a whole hour late." I hate time. If you ask me, time is irrelevant anyway. "Buy me watch and my timing may just improve." He smirked, his damned Uchiha smirk. "I am going to have to put that on my list." Just for the record, he is quite serious. I take a seat under the giant sakura tree and he sits across from me and takes off my shoes. I really do love him, but I still haven't said it. He on the other hand, says it all the time. "Red, it is your turn to pick the poet and I brought grapes because that was all Itachi brought back from the Farmer's Market." He rolls my pants while I decide on the poet. I think I should pick one of his favorites, because we always do my favorites. "I choose Jacques Prévert. It has been a while since we did one of your favorites. He nods his head. "I started last time, Red." I hate that he keeps track that drives me nuts.
*Jacques Prévert is a man who knew what love really was, alot of his stuff will be in my next Chapter. Only my favorites though, sorry.
Yessuka, you have promised to deliver the goods and I know I can trust. You better not make me regret this or I am going to kill this story! I will do it! Lithium, I hope you enjoyed last chapter!
Everyone encouraged to review...
