New Year, New Me
No copyright infringement intended. Twilight is the property of Stephenie Meyer. I'm just playing with her characters for some fun.
o0o
Chapter 11
I save Edward's number on my phone and type out a text: Hi Edward, here's my number. Bella x
I enjoyed my walk in the park with him and Stella. Was he really trying to get my attention all that time? I can't quite get my head around that. He might have a point about me closing my mind because I thought he was taken. But added to that, he's just so attractive that I wouldn't have thought I'd be a blip on his radar, especially as I usually see him at the park when I'm in running gear and often without makeup.
I ponder about the mysterious mess in L.A. It's probably something to do with his ex, Tanya, I think he said her name was. I want to know more, but don't want to pick at a sore spot. I can tell that it is a sore spot.
Edward, texts back: Hi! I have been thinking, instead of Friday, are you free Saturday?
I reply: I am. What are you thinking?
Can I surprise you? x
I am not good with surprises. But don't I want to step out of my comfort zone?
I reply: No fair! How am I supposed to know what to wear?
Walking shoes.
Just walking shoes? I reply.
Now THAT thought is intriguing, but perhaps clothes might be a good idea in Washington? It is March after all ;)
I haven't had time to reply before he texts again: I can't believe I'm encouraging you to cover up! I fail as a man.
I laugh as I reply: Clothes it is. But now I have a good idea what we're doing…
Stop it 007, I will surprise you!
Yeah, how?
Stop it! I'll pick you up at 10am? X
It's a date :)
Did I really read you right the other week? he asks.
I type out: The part about me making friends with dogs at the park or the part where you wanted to study me like a specimen? I delete it. I'm deflecting. Again.
What he said about me pretending has played on my mind. I do pretend. I pretend at work. I even pretend with Alice sometimes. I let my guard down most with my mom. I think my fear of letting my emotions get out of control, like Renee, has made me bottle them up. Mom says I'm a swan through and through; graceful on the surface and paddling furiously beneath the water.
I reply: You're very perceptive, Edward Cullen.
Annoying or endearing? he asks.
It's flattering, you being interested enough to notice.
Have no doubt, Bella. I am very interested.
I'm looking forward to Saturday. Goodnight xx
o0o
I've been ready since nine-thirty and am wandering aimlessly around the apartment waiting for Edward. It's the longest half hour I've ever spent. I am on edge. Choosing an outfit was tricky. Running shoes aren't the most attractive footwear for a date, so I compensate by choosing a blouse with a large flower design in various shades of blue. I team it with a mustard cardigan that I think will be a nice contrast. I have my new navy coat ready and waiting on the arm of the chair.
At long last, my apartment door buzzes and my heartrate spikes as I head downstairs. Edward is leaning against the stair railing, waiting for me. He looks edible. But his hair is a little messier than usual, like he's been messing with it, and a piece falls into his face. My fingers twitch to move it and I realize that now we're on a date, it's not entirely inappropriate. I brush the stray lock back into place. His hair is soft to the touch, and thick.
"Hm, that feels nice," he says, letting out a contented sigh. I like the sound.
"Yes, it does."
"Your carriage awaits," he says, gesturing to a big white Range Rover. He opens the door for me to get in. It's shiny and pristine, with a 'new car' smell.
"Do I get to know where we're going now?" I ask as he gets in.
"Nope. Let's see if you can work it out." He executes a seamless U-turn and heads north.
"Luring me to an undisclosed location doesn't seem legit. What if you're a serial killer?"
He laughs a loud belly-laugh. "I'm not a serial killer, I promise."
"Well, that's what you'd say if you were a serial killer. I've seen The Fall."
"You have a point. But now that I have you, you may as well go with it. You can't get away." He winks at me.
"Wrong. I am pretty capable, you know."
"I don't doubt it."
"My dad's a cop. I know things."
"Hell, I should have asked you what your parents did before I sneaked you away. My serial killer abilities aren't up to scratch." He shakes his head like he's disappointed, but can't help a chuckle. "What's The Fall?"
"It's about a serial killer in Northern Ireland. Excellent cast. Absolutely terrifying. I made the mistake of watching it alone."
"That scary?"
"Well he targets professional women around my age who live alone. It wasn't my best idea."
He laughs.
The haunting melody of "Clair de Lune" on the piano fills the car. "This is nice," I say. "You like 'Clair de Lune?'"
"I do. I have a few classical playlists I like to listen to when I work. They help me relax."
"You wanted to relax this morning?"
"I'm not the only perceptive one." His hands tighten on the steering wheel. "Yes, I felt the need to relax. I was excited to see you." He sneaks a sideways glance at me and winks again. Edward winking is surprisingly sexy.
"Me too." I let out a breath.
I recognize the route well as we head towards the ferry terminal. I think that my suspicions about Edward taking me to the Olympic National Park are on point. We walk up to the passenger deck to take in the view for the crossing.
"I'm so glad that it's a clear day," I say. "There's nothing quite like the salty air of the Puget Sound in your lungs."
I breathe deeply. It feels refreshing and makes me feel more alive. I'm glad that the sun is shining, and I watch how it dances on the waves. Edward stands close at my side, our arms touching. There is a new energy about him today. Perhaps I'm just noticing now that we're in date territory, but there is a tension crackling between us.
"So tell me some more about your work," I say as I look out at the Seattle skyline. "Seth told me about a building you've just finished in L.A."
"Yeah, Amber Tower. It was completed a few months ago. I have a few clients I'm working with at the moment. I'm thinking of taking on a few residential projects. I'm researching some plots on San Juan Island. I think I'd like to live there some day."
"Oh, so a plot to build for yourself rather than for work?"
"Maybe both. I'm not sure yet." He shrugs a little.
"Why did you choose to study architecture?"
"My dad is an architect, so I was exposed to it at an early age. But it's not just that; I like to create, to build. I like the beginning when I get an idea and it starts to take shape in the plans, and then the feeling of accomplishment when it's standing. The science fascinates me."
"I imagine that is satisfying. Tell me about Amber Tower. I might have looked it up online," I admit guiltily. "But I'd like to know your take on it."
He doesn't seem to mind. "I wanted to create something beautiful. I hope that I did. It's on the dramatic side, but it's how I was feeling. It was a journey for me, cathartic. The truth is that I wasn't happy; I felt trapped and it was an escape."
"How so?" I shift so that I am angled towards him. I want to see his face.
"You sure you want to talk about this on our first real date?"
"I want to get to know you better, so if this helps do that I'm in. But it's okay, if you don't want to."
"I'd rather not dwell on the past, but, yes, it might help you know me better, so here goes. Tanya was one of my first clients. I had landed an internship with a firm for my first job after graduating. She was, still is, an artist, and she has the temperament that goes with it. Am I boring you yet?"
"Not even a little. So, by artistic temperament you mean dramatic?"
"Yes, everything is a drama. At first, I found it exciting; there wasn't a dull moment and everything seemed more vibrant."
"I can relate."
"You can?"
"Yeah, Renee, my birth mom is a bit like that."
"With Tanya, there was a lot attached that wasn't as enjoyable. She wanted to always be at the center of everything and wanted to do everything together. She only ever sees things from her own perspective. It's strange because at times she can be wonderfully caring, but I don't think she really has the ability to empathize."
"That must have been tough. Where were you and your feelings?"
"Isn't that just hitting the nail on the head?" He lets out a long sigh. "I tried to make it work. I thought that's what you do in a relationship, but in hindsight, I tried too hard and too long. I found myself changing things about my life to suit her, but nothing I ever did was good enough and she always wanted more."
"Can I ask how you changed?"
He frowns. "She was possessive of me; she didn't like me having friendships with other women, so I…" he trails off.
"It's okay. You can tell me anything or nothing at all." I reach out to squeeze his hand that is resting on the railing.
"You have no idea how refreshing you are."
"I'll take that as a compliment?"
"Definitely."
We move through the water leaving a trail of white foam behind us, and the wind fills the silence for a while before he continues.
"It was small things along the way that didn't seem that significant at the time. But when I started to think about all the ways that I had adapted to avoid a fight; hiring male staff at the office so she wouldn't get jealous, not seeing my female friends, it started to seem ridiculous."
He pulls his hand through his hair, and I can see where that messy bed head look he has sometimes comes from.
"Even more so when I think that she changed nothing for me. We had huge arguments when I would try to talk to her about it. I tried to tell her that I was feeling trapped and changing to avoid her temper, and that just fired off an ever bigger fight. She just didn't get it and she never changed a thing."
"I'm sorry."
"Thanks. This is too heavy for a first date; you don't need this."
"Edward, seriously, you comforted me while I cried in a café before you even asked me out. Frankly, it's a miracle you still wanted to ask me out," I say on a laugh. "I think we fast-forwarded through some of the normal dating rules."
"I guess so." His smile is hesitant, but warm. "Thanks, Bella. It's so easy to talk to you."
"So tell me what happened, if you want to?"
He looks out over the Puget Sound and the retreating Seattle shoreline as he continues, "It became a constant battle. When I would feel manipulated, I would call her on it, and I was always the bad guy and she'd be the one in floods of tears. She would phrase everything like it was for my benefit, because she loved me so much. It was all the more manipulative, but I just couldn't get her to see it."
"That must have been really difficult."
"Yeah and some. And one day, I just couldn't do it anymore. I told her so and I moved out straight away. And of course, that just confirmed that I'm the bad guy. I hated to hurt her, but I had to get away and just be me. That sounds selfish doesn't it?"
"No, it sounds perfectly reasonable to me. I'm no expert, but I don't think you should stop being yourself because you're in a relationship. You have to work at it, of course, but you can't change who you are to suit someone else. And I don't think someone who loves you would ask you to."
"I've not really told anyone that before," he says quietly.
"I'm glad that you felt you could tell me."
He kisses me somewhat chastely on my temple, but that charge electrifies and seeps into the marrow of my bones. I lean into him.
"You're a live wire," he whispers into my ear.
Back in the car heading west, he says, "Tell me what you were like at school."
"Not part of the cool crowd, but I had some close friends. I bet you were a cool kid right?"
He grins in answer. "I bet you were smart."
"I got good grades. How old were you when you were adopted?"
"A baby."
"Do you know anything about your biological parents?"
"Not a thing."
"Do you ever wonder?"
"Rarely. I have an envelope, I think it's from my birth mother, but I've never opened it. I have my family."
"And Rose, your sister, is she older or younger than you?"
"Younger, my parents adopted her when I was four. But she was already two, so not much of a difference in age."
"What kind of brother are you?"
"Protective when she was little. We had the usual taunting relationship as we got older, and that stuck." A cheeky smile stretches across his face. "She's an easy target. I guess I am, too. We're not very close, but more so now that I'm back in Seattle. It's nice getting to spend more time with them."
"What makes you an easy target?"
"I get them all; taking myself too seriously, building large buildings to compensate for something—which I'm not, by the way—trophy girlfriend, though she can't sling that one now. Wait, I'm not saying that you're not... I mean you're beautiful, but I wouldn't assume you're my girlfriend. Hell..."
I watch him as he gets flustered. It's in stark contrast to his usual composure, but I've seen it a few times now. "I like it when you get flustered. You seem more human."
He gives me a skeptical look, but I can see he's relieved that I'm not offended. "More human? As opposed to what?"
"Erm, as opposed to the Adonis from the park."
"Adonis, really?" He seems to like this. "I like that about you."
"What?"
"That you don't give me a hard time when I put my foot in my mouth."
He joins Route 101, but unlike my journey back to Forks, he heads south. We are going to the Olympic Park for sure. As the terrain gets worse and we are essentially on a bumpy dirt track, I say, "Well, I was tempted to mock you for having a four-by-four in the city, but now I get it."
"Not far now," he says.
The trees are so dense that it's almost dark in the car, and that tension rises between us. What is it about darkness that changes the mood? I concentrate on the passing scenery. The lush green of the foliage and the quiet of the forest make me feel like I've entered another world.
It's not very long before the road comes to an end and he pulls up the car. Edward grabs a backpack out of the trunk and turns to me. "Ready?" he asks.
"As I'll ever be."
He leads the way through the forest, seemingly following no marked route. I can't see or hear any sounds of human life.
"Are we headed anywhere in particular, or just a ramble?"
"I want to take you to a special place. It's somewhere I found when I was younger."
"It's so quiet here," I say. "There are so many trails and tourist attractions. I'm surprised you have found somewhere so private."
He puts a finger to his nose in a gesture of confidentiality.
"Ah, so it's a secret."
"Absolutely. If you tell anyone, I'll have to kill you."
"Luckily for you, and perhaps for me, my sense of direction is pretty bad."
We walk a while in comfortable silence as we navigate the tricky terrain. Edward is very attentive, pointing out loose stones and forging a path through the undergrowth. I like how he holds my waist as I jump down from a large fallen tree trunk.
Later, he asks about the films that I like, and music. Music it turns out is a shared passion, and we talk for some time about our favorites and what we're listening to at the moment. We follow a small river for a while and then start climbing towards higher ground. It feels warmer out of the shade of the trees.
"Shall we break for lunch?" he asks.
"Sounds good to me. I didn't know you were a boy scout."
"I'm not."
"Well, you are very prepared. What's your secret?"
"Maybe I up my game when I'm trying to impress a girl." His words are cocky, but his smile is shy.
"What have you got there?" I ask as he opens the bag.
"Some soup, that should still be warm." He hands me a metal thermos. "Some nice bread to go with it, and some snacks."
He pulls out a blanket and spreads it on a nearby fallen tree trunk. We both sit and he pours the soup into large mugs and hands me one with a spoon. It's delicious and it is still warm.
"This is yummy. What's in it? Tastes like root vegetables?"
"Yeah rutabaga, I think, but I don't know for sure. It's my mom's secret recipe."
"You got your mom to make me soup?"
"It's the best," he says with a shrug.
"It is."
"Olive?" he offers.
"Don't mind if I do." I chose a large green olive. It is salty and juicy. "This is really nice, Edward."
"We haven't even gotten there yet."
"What's there?"
"You'll see."
Once we've eaten he says, "Are you ready to head out?"
"Yep."
"We haven't got that far to go."
We continue to climb for a while and the trail has become more arid, with less greenery and more stones as we get higher. The views are spectacular with the snow topped peaks in the distance, and the forest to our backs. As we round the corner, I expect him to keep climbing and follow the trail, but he forks off to the right and into the trees again. We descend back into the lush green of the forest. I see brightness ahead and Edward leads us to a clearing. He stops and gestures for me to take the lead.
It's a meadow full of wild flowers that I can't name. Purple is the dominant color, but there is an entire rainbow of colors when you look close. I turn to see Edward watching me from the tree line. "This is beautiful."
His smile is broad and bright. "I'm glad you like it. I was worried that the flowers might not be out. But it's warm for March."
"They're glorious." I wander around for a while, looking at the different flowers, taking in the beauty. The sun is bright in the sky, and Edward is right; it's unseasonably warm for March. The warmth seeps into me, and I take off my jacket.
I feel Edward's eyes on me and look up. He's spread the blanket on the ground. "Sit with me?"
I walk to him and kneel on the ground at his side. He looks at me intently, and I think he is going to kiss me. He does, but not in the way I expect. He presses a kiss to my forehead. His lips are warm and soft. "I'm so glad you said yes, Bella."
"Me too."
We stay there in the meadow, whiling away the afternoon together. It's nice to just be. We haven't stopped touching the entire time. It's all very innocent, like we're exploring each other. He draws circles on the back of my hand, tucks my hair behind my ear, and I think I catch him smelling my hair. At one point, I lie in his arms looking up at the sky above. The comfort I feel in his arms is out of proportion for the length of time I have known him.
The light has started to fail by the time he suggests that we leave. He takes us back a different way and it's a quicker route back to the car. The sun makes its final descent beyond the horizon as we take the ferry home. Edward is standing behind me, an arm on each side of me as I lean over the ferry rail.
"I had a really good time today. Thank you," I say, leaning back into his embrace a little. The intimacy between us feels natural.
"I can't think of anything I'd rather be doing." His breath tickles my neck and I shiver. "Hm, you're sensitive." His voice is low and seductive. He places a gentle kiss just behind my ear and I feel the hairs rise on the back of my neck in anticipation, and I try to resist the second shiver with only partial success.
"I want to ask you to come back to my place tonight, but I know if I have you in my house I won't be able to keep my hands off you. I don't want to rush this," he says emphatically, putting some distance between us. "So, would you go out to dinner with me instead?"
I usually don't want to drag a date out. I am happy to go out and have fun, but then happy to go home. But I realize with Edward, that I don't want the date to end. "Yes," I answer.
"You are getting better at saying that." He smiles in triumph.
Author's Note
Thanks so much for reading! I'm having such good fun writing and would love to hear what you think. Please leave me a review.
Big thanks for my beta, Songster for sorting out my commas! I made some changes afterwards so any mistakes are mine.
Rhian xx
