Chapter 11

Emily Corinthos watched her small charge playing with his cousins Michael and Morgan. The sun was out and the snow was beginning to melt. That didn't stop the boys from attempting to build one last snow fort. Spencer was laughing at their antics from the safety of Milo's arms.

She sighed. They really needed to find another nanny. As wonderful as Max and Milo were, those children needed a caregiver, not just a bodyguard.

"Penny for your thoughts."

Emily turned to smile at Sonny. "Just watching the boys play and thinking that Milo is a man of many talents."

Unable to resist, Sonny joined her at the patio doors. "They need a nanny."

Emily laughed. "I was actually thinking the same thing. You should have seen Max's face yesterday when I got home from work. Apparently Spencer really went through the diapers."

Sonny grinned. "Okay, call the agency and start interviewing people. I can't afford to lose Max over a couple of dirty diapers."

Emily turned to face him. "Don't you want to help make that decision? It affects your sons, too."

Sonny forced himself to keep his gaze focused on the kids. Emily was standing so close and it would be so easy to brush his fingers across her cheek as they discussed their family. Only it wasn't a real family. They weren't really in love anymore and the less time they spent together, the better.

Without meeting her eyes, he left the room.

Emily watched him go, knowing exactly how he was feeling. She was feeling it as well. In the week since Nik's funeral, she and Sonny had formed a tentative partnership where the boys were concerned. They went through all the motions of a normal family until bedtime. After tucking Spencer in, and Michael and Morgan when they were here, Emily went to her empty room and Sonny headed over to Kate's house. It was deliberate on both their parts. They might be married, but they weren't in love. At least, that's what they kept telling themselves.

gh

Luke hated doing the whole family dinner thing but Lucky and Lulu needed him. Both had been forgiving of his unfortunate role in Nikolas' death and he owed them.

Lulu kissed his cheek when he entered the Metro Court. "I'm glad you came."

"Me too, pumpkin."

Lucky cleared his throat. "Our table is ready."

Luke eyed his son. Something was up and he wasn't going to like it. "After you, Cowboy."

Once they had placed their orders, Lulu began to chatter about her classes. Lucky was quiet and Luke was worried. "Lulu, why don't you give me a minute with your brother, okay? Carly's over at the bar and I'm sure she'd like to say hello."

Lulu glanced from man to man and left with a shiver. Her world was about to be overturned again and she needed to brace herself. "Okay. But I'll be right back."

As she walked away, Luke leaned across the table. "Spill."

Lucky gave a ghost of a smile. "You always could read me like a book." At Luke's raised eyebrow, Lucky cleared his throat and launched into what was certain to be a fight. "I took a new job."

Luke grinned. "Well, that's cause for celebration. I never liked the idea of a son on the wrong side of crime."

Lucky shook his head slowly. "Actually, I'm still a cop. The job's in Atlanta."

Luke stared at his son. "You're kidding me, right?"

"No."

Luke kept his voice low. "Your sister just lost one brother. You can't abandon her now!"

Lucky grunted. "Look who's talking."

"I'm here! I'm trying, dammit, and so should you!"

Lulu and Carly approached the table. "Dad, is everything okay?"

"No, it's not. Your lunkhead brother here has finally decided to follow in my worthless footsteps and skip town."

Lulu's mouth dropped open. "What? Lucky, tell me you're not leaving."

Lucky had dreaded this. Lulu had already suffered so much and he hated adding to it. "I'm sorry. I can't stay here. Everywhere I turn, there's Nikolas or Elizabeth or Jake or, God, even Mom. All I see is what I've lost." He stood and laid his hand on her shoulder. "I tracked down one of my old dealers three days ago. The temptation is stronger than ever and I have to get out while I still can. Please understand, Lulu, I love you but I'll only hurt you if I stay."

Luke stood so quickly that his chair fell behind him. "What a piece of bullmalarky! You think you're the only one who ever lost anyone? Hell, son, Port Charles should be empty for all the people I've lost along the way!"

"Luke!" Carly stepped between the two men. "I love a public scene as much as the next person, but this is only gonna make it worse for Lulu!"

Both Spencer males lowered their eyes in shame. Lucky swallowed. "Lulu, I'm sorry."

Lulu wanted to beg him to stay but knew that wasn't the answer. "I can come visit after exams, right?"

Lucky smiled. "Of course." He stole a look at Luke. "You can even bring Dad."

Lulu kissed his cheek. "I promise to leave Tracy at home."

Luke knew when to throw in the towel. "Aw, c'mon. Spanky can be a helluva lot of fun if you get her drunk enough."

gh

Elizabeth's stomach was in knots. Jason would be here soon to play with the boys. In the last few days, he had faithfully spent time with them and never once pushed her for her forgiveness. If only he had…

She had heard from Emily, who had heard from Sonny, who was told by Jason, exactly what had happened in the Dominican Republic. Why hadn't he told her?

It was all a terrible accident, with Luke at the center. Luke had the annoying habit of blowing things up on a regular basis. Why had she not realized that sooner? Why blame Jason when Luke was the wild card?

Elizabeth knew the answer. Life with Jason would always be littered with dead bodies. He didn't know how to live any other way and she couldn't accept it. If only she had realized that sooner.

Jason's knock startled her. She answered the door and he stepped inside. "I don't hear Cameron and Jake. They aren't taking a nap, are they?"

"No," Elizabeth replied. "They're at Gram's."

Jason tilted his head. "I asked if I could come by and you agreed."

Elizabeth nodded and gestured toward the couch. "I was hoping we could talk."

Jason had been waiting for this chance. "I'd like that."

As they sat down, neither spoke at first and then they both began at once. "Jason, please let me go first." Elizabeth tucked her hair behind her ear. "I'm so sorry. You were protecting yourself. I know that and I should have known it right away."

"Yeah, you should have but you were hurt."

"That's not a good excuse." Elizabeth looked into his eyes and saw hope. It broke her heart, just as she was about to break his. "I love you."

Jason didn't want to hear the rest. "I love you, too."

"This isn't going to work." Elizabeth sniffed back tears. "I wanted it to and I still want it. But I can't live with the violence. I can't sing songs and play games with our sons while we wait for you to finish killing people for Sonny. I'm sorry."

Jason could see how hard this was for her. Part of him was glad she was suffering. Another, bigger part of him wanted to stop her pain whatever it took. "It won't touch you or the boys. I'll protect you."

"You can't. You can't because I'll know that every time you head out that door, you may not come back. I want a safe, secure life and you can't give me that." Elizabeth ran both hands through her hair. "Jason, I don't blame you for what happened with Nikolas. But it opened my eyes. I was living in denial, thinking that we could have this happy family and not be touched by the darkness. But it's all around you. It's where you live and breath and I can't stand it."

Jason wanted to fight, to make her see that she was wrong. However, he knew she wasn't. As long as he worked with Sonny, their family would never be safe. He kissed her mouth gently and left.

Elizabeth cried for hours.