Disclaimer: "Oh c'mon after so many stories, I've earned the right to call it mine!" *Megatron points fusion cannon at Mina* "DO AS I COMMAND!" "kyaaaa. Ok, T_T It's not mine, it's nooot!"
Author's note: I wrote this for a friend of mine on Deviantart a few months ago. *coughs*Aku-kun*coughs* And now, after being busy for so long, ...and still not seeing the end of it, I decided to post this as a filler. Because the next few weeks will be busy as well. I'm not looking forward to it. Anyway, enjoy. ^^
~o~o~o~
11. Dream
by Misty Mina
It had been a while since Red had last spoken to Inferno. Even longer since they had shared their passion and their sparks. So yes, their schedules were different and usually it meant Inferno had to haul his aft out of the monitor room. But he hadn't done this in a while either. If the Lamborghini was honest, he wasn't any better.
They'd been avoiding each other.
The cause for this lay in their bond. In Red Alert's opinion, it was not functioning the way it should be. Either that, or Inferno was lying about sharing practically everything with him. Red only got snippets of emotions, tiny bits of Inferno's side of the bond, even though it was wide open. He had his own suspicions. The bond was fine, but the fire truck tried to hide something from him! When he first noticed that Inferno wasn't sharing everything with him, his glitch had a real field day.
It took a while to calm himself and his glitch down, yet it wasn't enough to calm his paranoia. He started to look more closely at his mate's activities. However, he couldn't detect anything abnormal. Inferno did his duties, chatted with his friends and always came back to him. And yet, ...the fire engine took less and less from his time. As if Red was angry at him or had hurt him in any way. His paranoia and fear just grew and one day, he saw Inferno entering Smokescreen's quarters.
Inferno had no mental problems as far as he could tell. Red should be the one to see the gambler and perhaps find a way to keep his paranoia in check. Not that he had ever taken Ratchet's advice to see him, though. So why should he? If Inferno needed someone to talk to, shouldn't he be the right mech for the job? Being his bondmate and all? ...Except, ...if it was something he couldn't tell him. But what?
What was so bad that he couldn't tell Red about it?
This question had been haunting his processor for awhile. He should just ask, yet he doubted Inferno would tell him the truth. If his own mate didn't trust him, then how could Red trust in return? His worries started to consume him. His attention wasn't so much on the monitors any more, his temper was at times as foul as Ratchet's if not worse and his spark started to hurt. At first it wasn't really painful just irritating, but the longer he waited, the more it hurt.
The last thing he wanted was to go and see Ratchet. The CMO would surely dismantle him and just forget about putting him back together. Medics were like that. They could offline you, take your components and use them for spare parts without anyone noticing it. Eventually the pain became a constant throbbing in his spark. Blocking the fire truck from the bond eased the pain a bit, but it was still there.
Red dealt with the pain. He would be fine, he'd always been. The pain would certainly go away as soon as he could figure out what was going on with Inferno. Meanwhile the fire truck had stopped seeing him and went to either Smokescreen, Ratchet or Jazz on a daily basis. Did he really think Red wouldn't see this?
This was madness!
What was Inferno doing? Berth hopping?
The thought was ridiculous and yet it stung. ...It would explain a few things. The hiding, why he avoided him and the instability of their bond and also, ...the foreign feelings and thoughts he'd been picking up lately.
Of course, ...
How could he have been so foolish? As if anyone would look at a short, glitching mech. Inferno could get anyone. From beautiful femmes to the most skilled mechs. So why settle for junk? What hurt most was not even the thought of betrayal. It was that Inferno might have started their relationship out of pity. He wasn't really needed, just tolerated.
His spark started to act up again and it was worse than before. It felt like a part of himself tried to escape. Like his life source was about to fall apart. Error messages started to pop up in his vision, telling him that his systems would shut down.
Stasis lock.
Just great, he didn't need that. Didn't want anyone to see him in this pitiful state. Didn't need their fake concern! With his last strength Red Alert managed to lock the doors and delete all access codes. There was no way to enter the monitor room now, except if he would authorize a new access code or if they broke the door down, whatever came first. They wouldn't get him! Not as long as he was still online!
The glitch was acting up again. It screamed, thrashed and violated his programming. Red Alert collapsed and fell to the floor. He wasn't sure what hurt more. His spark chamber felt like it would burst any second and his processor wasn't any better.
So it was bliss when he finally fell into that cold and calming state. Finally at ease. A moment when he didn't have to deal with his concerns or the pain.
A moment for himself.
Just him and the darkness that lured him in.
~o~o~o~
When he woke up, he wasn't greeted by the familiar light of the med bay. Or the orange med bay ceiling. This place was dark like the deepest night. It stretched out like eternity itself. No borders, no obstacles just this wide open nothingness. But the most noticeable thing was the lack of noise. The Ark was everything but silent. This was unsettling.
Quietly.
Peacefully
Like a grave.
Red Alert felt like slapping himself but lacked his own frame to do so. He was just himself. No frame, no glitch, no paranoia. It was the clearest moment of his life and he came to the realization that it might also be his last. Free of the ever present paranoia, he now knew that he should have seen a medic. A problem with ones spark was always a serious matter and should be treated by someone immediately. But no, he just had to listen to his glitch, didn't he?
Since his mate wasn't here as well, it meant he had at least spared Inferno from deactivation. Blocking the fire truck from the bond had saved him the backlash of a broken one. The backlash was what caused one mate to follow the other into death. Once his side of the bond would be cleared, Inferno wouldn't feel another presence anymore. Just the feeling that something was missing.
A whisper of nothing.
The feeling of an extinguished candle.
Primus wouldn't really be happy about this. Offlined for good, because he refused to get himself checked. A stupid reason, really. He shouldn't move or go any further, yet he did it anyway and delved deeper into the darkness or so he thought. Navigation was impossible in an empty space. It didn't matter, it wouldn't do him any good to return now would it? The problem would still be there. Inferno would still avoid him and he doubted his systems would function like before. Besides that, the Ark could do fine without a glitching reject like himself. There were others who could do his job. It was essential in war that a soldier could be replaced any time, any day.
Suddenly there was light shining from above.
Surely the matrix. He'd reached it.
And something else. Another spark. A presence like him.
This presence was small and weak, probably offlined at a very young age like most on Cybertron. It came closer when it noticed him. It was analyzing him as if not sure what to do. He sent a touch of reassurance out and got an answer right away. Relief, confusion and ...words.
"Who ...are ...you?" It asked, unsure of it's own ability to communicate.
From the feeling and sound of the voice it was a little femme.
"Red Alert, ...you?"
"..." She sent a wave of confusion at his question.
"Your designation." He clarified.
"...I ...dunno."
The poor thing. A lost spark. A spark which had been extinguished before it could go online.
A nobody.
This was an awkward situation. Here he was with a lost spark and didn't know what to do. Pathetic. Really pathetic. Perhaps it would be better to change the topic.
"Why don't you join the matrix?" It was right above them couldn't she see it? Couldn't she feel it?! Or maybe she knew more of this place than he did which was why she stayed?
"...Matrix?..." The confusion only grew. It seemed like she knew nothing at all.
This was getting him nowhere. Perhaps Red Alert shouldn't just assume things. A lost spark wouldn't know anything of their culture or their beliefs. He had asked the wrong questions!
"Then, ...what are you doing here?"
"Waiting..." It was the first real answer Red had heard from her, even if it was cryptic.
Waiting for what? Had Primus told her to wait? Was this place some kind of waiting room? He knew that humans had something like that and called it 'purgatory', but their kind didn't have that, did they? Now the other presence sent a curious nudge.
"Why ...are you here?" She asked, now more confident in her abilities.
Red Alert saw no harm in telling her the truth. It was a bit late for a paranoia fit anyway. There was nothing he should or could protect anymore. No base, no crew members, no mate and no frame.
"I ...was stupid. I needed help and ...refused to take it. I'm sure they'll be fine, even if I'm not there anymore." The truth was painful to accept.
Yes, he'd been stupid and yes, he should have seen Ratchet when he had the chance. ...And yes, they'd be fine without him. Now things would calm down on the Ark. No false alarm, no accusations of betrayal, no constant supervision and nobody who kept the medics busy with a glitch.
The little presence scrutinized him. He could feel her skepticism and Red knew right away that she was emotionally smarter than he was.
"No. ...You left. ...So now, ...it's empty. They'll notice...and they ...are sad." It was clumsy, but he understood what she meant. She tried hard to get her point across with the few words she knew. What she meant was that no matter what, the others would still mourn his absence. If she'd been older or anyone else, he might have been angry with her. But she was so young and innocent. She wouldn't understand what he'd been going through.
"I doubt it. I caused them too much trouble, you know?" Explaining to her everything about a glitch, which whispered to him and caused paranoia, seemed like a futile thing to do. So he kept the conversation as simple as he could.
However, she was not convinced and let him feel it.
"Everyone ...has use. ...Has function. Nobody is ...useless. Remember!" It wasn't a plea. With her whole presence, she ordered him to remember what he'd done for others. Everything! No matter how insignificant it had been.
And suddenly the nothingness began to shift into his memories as soon as he remembered every little detail. His first security system. The lives he'd saved thanks to his work. The one time when the Ark's security system fought off the Decepticons while many of their own soldiers recovered. Meeting Inferno and their times together. How he'd destroyed the Negavator even at the risk of his own life and much more.
Red Alert guessed this was what the humans meant when they talked about how their life flashed before their eyes. Once it was over, everything went dark again. The little spark radiated feelings of astonishment, wonder and pride. She was proud of his work, his deeds, him! The nameless spark gave him a warm nudge.
"Be ...proud too!" It was childlike brilliance. If she, a nobody, could be proud of him, he should learn how to give himself some credit.
The light above them began to glow. It was calling someone, but not Red Alert. He didn't feel drawn to it, not yet. But the lost spark started to rise towards it. It was her time, not his.
"Wait!" He thought he should give her something. She hesitated, eager to listen to him.
"When I came here, ...I thought I was nobody. Now I know, I am somebody. I'm Red Alert! ...You ...you're small, but you shine in the darkness. A bit of hope. ...A bit of joy. ...A bit of light."
The lost spark listened. It sent confused feelings, not really understanding much of Red Alert's speech. But she knew it was important, so she stayed.
"I think, ...your designation should be, ...'Glimmer'." Red had thought it through and even if she would never use it or got a new designation in her next life. For that one single moment, she wasn't a nobody. She was 'Glimmer'!
She, no 'Glimmer', shone brighter than before. Her happiness and gratitude radiated off of her and made her literally glow. Now she was a somebody as well. Somebody who was cherished and loved enough to deserve a name.
The far away light above them was relentless and pulled her up and out of his reach. But before she was gone, Red heard her last words.
"Follow soon, ...please." Then she was gone.
Now he was alone and scared. How long had she waited? How long would he wait? He'd never liked waiting and now he was forced to do it.
Time had no meaning here. Breems or stellar cycles, it didn't matter. He waited. Waited for that pull, his invitation to join the matrix. Sometimes Red thought he could still hear and feel Glimmer. Hear her voice even though she didn't say a clear word. Feel her small, warm presence in this empty place. Perhaps, ...he should go anyway. Even without being pulled in, he could still move around freely. And what if he joined the matrix sooner? It was not like he could avoid that. It was everyone's final destiny.
He'd been indecisive until he heard Glimmer again, loud and clear. And this time, ...she was crying. What? Why was she so sad? Shouldn't she be at peace?
Decision made he went towards the far away light. Only to finally feel the long awaited pull. Now he practically raced towards the light.
~o~o~o~
Red Alert opened his eyes, but what he saw was not what he'd expected. He'd expected to see other sparks, to see his Creators, Glimmer or Primus. He'd also half expected to see Unicron himself. It was not like he was a saint. Red had done his fair share of sins. Killing someone, even though it was the enemy, was still a sin.
But what he saw was even worse.
Red Alert was greeted by a grouchy CMO with pink bunny ears attached to his helmet.
'Oh Primus, ...the pit really exists!' He thought.
"You had us really worried. Why didn't you say anything, you Sl..." Ratchet clearly wanted to say 'Slagger', but didn't. Red noted that the medic had spoken in a calm way instead of yelling at him like he usually did with stupid patients. Not even Prime was safe from that. Had he really worried them so much? So this meant it was all a dream? It seemed so real...
Ratchet noted that the Lamborghini was still staring at his pink accessories.
"Sideswipe and superglue." He explained with a sneer while still trying to yank off the items in question. However his attempts were in vain. He had to wait until Perceptor could come up with a solvent.
"Speaking of trouble-makers, that reminds me..." Ratchet pointed to the other side of Red's berth.
Red turned his helmet to the side and saw his mate recharging besides him in a chair.
"...your good-for-nothing-mate wouldn't leave your side. Not even when I threatened him to put soap into his water tanks."
It still puzzled him why Ratchet didn't curse outright. Normally, words like 'useless Slagger' and 'moronic Fragtard' would've left Ratchet's vocalizer already and these were some of the nicer words in his vocabulary.
Inferno stirred from his recharge and almost fell out of his seat when he noticed that his love was back among the living. He stood up and came closer, careful not to make too much noise. Sweet really, but Red wasn't that hurt. There was no need to pamper him, was there?
At first Inferno didn't say anything as if he was rendered speechless by the mere sight of him. But then he pulled himself together.
"Red, ...I'm sorry, ...I should've realized your state sooner. I thought our bond wasn't working because you ...regretted bonding with me." He spoke softly, almost whispered those words to him.
Red Alert noted the lack of Inferno's usual southern drawl. A sign that the fire truck was deeply distraught. So that was the reason why Inferno went to Smokescreen and the others. He sought out help since Red wouldn't talk to him and had blocked him from the bond. Even though, it was more of a measure to relieve the pain. Now everything made sense.
"Inferno, I would never ever regret that! I'm so sorry. I should've talked to you first before jumping to conclusions. ...What was it anyway? My glitch? Broken data streams? Or maybe a virus?" Red really wanted to know.
Both Ratchet and Inferno gave him shocked looks. What? How was he supposed to know what was wrong with him? It was not like his Creators had dragged him to every medic on Cybertron.
"...Yah dunno?" Ah that was much better. Inferno without his accent just wasn't Inferno.
Red sent him a scowl that said, 'If I knew, I wouldn't ask'. Ratchet held his servo in front of his lip components either to stifle a laugh or to keep from shouting out profanities. What now? Had he deleted his basic firewalls by accident? That would have been more than stupid.
Inferno smiled before reaching to Red's side and lifted something up. There was something which he hadn't seen or noticed before.
"Yep Red it's a virus an' it wants tha meet yah."
Red couldn't believe his optics. He'd thought that perhaps something of this planet's mammalian fauna had crept under his armor and caused havoc. But what his mate held in his servos was clearly not from this planet.
It was mostly white with a few stripes of red and a set of dark blue optics blinked tiredly at him. However it sprang to live once it noticed that Red was online.
His mate, held a small sparkling protoform in front of him and if Red was right, it was a femme. She took after him. The same color scheme more white than red, the same helmet, but with small wings instead of the horns, pointing to the rear, the same darker red color and dark blue optics like Inferno.
She chirped and reached out to him, trying to struggle out of the fire truck's grip. This had to be a joke, right? He'd been carrying and hadn't noticed? Their bond hadn't been working right, because there was a third spark in between? So that was the reason why Ratchet didn't curse, yell or threw a hissy fit. The medic watched his language around sparklings.
Dumbfounded he took the small sparkling from Inferno's servos. She snuggled against his armor and clicked happily. Suddenly, his bond with his creation flared to live. He knew this presence. Knew the warmth and the light.
"...Glimmer?"
As if to confirm it, a warble left her vocalizer. This surprised Inferno.
"Yah already 'ave a designation fer 'er?"
How was Red supposed to answer him? He couldn't really understand it himself. Thankfully Ratchet took this matter into his own servos.
"I'm not surprised. Normally, while the sparkling develops, the Creators would communicate with their future offspring through their bond. This is how we earn our designations. It's a bit different in your case, Red. Since you blocked Inferno, your sparkling, ...Glimmer was it? Well, she sees you as her only attachment figure. I'm glad you formed a bond with her before she came online. Otherwise she wouldn't be attached to anyone."
Inferno looked longingly at his mate and their sparkling. He wanted to be part of that happy family as well.
"Wha' about meh?" He asked with a sad tone.
"She will get used to you in no time. Sparklings get attached to anyone who shows them that they are loved and cared for."
Even though the circumstances were anything but perfect, it was still a good omen. There hadn't been a sparkling for stellar cycles, because everybody feared war and it's consequences. But new life meant a new generation. A new hope for the future.
A glimmer of hope.
Which lay now in Red's arms, recharging peacefully without a care in the world.
~o~o~o~
End. ^^
Well, you could see it as a gift for Red Alert. (Mother's Day *winks* ) Hope you liked it. I haven't abandoned the stories, but I've been really busy lately. I try to get as much done as possible now before my Grandma's next and hopefully last operation.
