Chapter 11: Catching Up

We are back in Jocelyn's yurt now, after cleaning up and putting on fresh clothes. It's almost dinnertime and she is preparing some sort of salad which she calls beans and greens. It looks like rabbit food, but at least it smells good.

"So, you're all settled in then? I hope it's not a problem that the boys only have one bedroom and two beds? If it is, I can figure something else out for you." She says without looking up from her salad preparation.

"No. Actually, I think while we're here we're just going to push the two beds together, makes for better cuddle puddles." Jace grins.

"Jace! I can't believe you just said that!" I know I'm supposed to play it cool but he totally just outed us for real!

"Oh Clarissa, relax! I think it's better to be open about things than to be all bottled up. That's how people develop ulcers, you know. So, how long have you all been together then?" She smiles as if she's simply asking me whether I like tomatoes or not.

"It's been about a month and a half. We told Dad and Maryse a couple weeks ago. I was surprised how cool they were about it." Jocelyn really is easy to talk to. I hadn't wanted to say anything but it's not very easy to guard your tongue around her, she's a very safe person to talk to and she seems to like to listen. She obviously, genuinely cares about her sons and their happiness.

"And how is it working out, it must be going reasonably well if you're pushing the beds together?" She suppresses a laugh and smiles mischievously. "You know, I might not be old enough to have been at the first Woodstock, but I am a true hippie at heart. There isn't anything you could say that would embarrass me. Although it seems most of what I say embarrasses you, so I'm sorry."

I sigh. It's time to recklessly abandon my city girl ways and embrace this glimpse of commune life I suppose. "You know what; I am the one who is sorry. Your way is different than the way I grew up with but that doesn't make it wrong. It just makes it harder to get used to. You see, we can't afford to be open about this in New York City. We'd be painting a big red target on our backs. I understand that isn't the case out here, it's just that I'm not used to that yet. So to answer your question, yes, it is that kind of a relationship, although Izzy is still a virgin by choice, whereas I am practically the opposite."

"See, so much easier to be honest. Now, if I may ask one of you to please set the table for me, I think we're almost ready to eat." We sit down to a delicious dinner (even though it's entirely vegan) and Jocelyn asks us all kinds of questions. There are questions about Dad and Maryse, Max, Alec and Magnus, questions about New York, the Institute, Idris, Shadowhunters whom she used to know, Downworlders, the Accords, etc.

And of course there are plenty more of the personal questions. She asks us what birth control methods we use, how old I was for my first time, etc. She has plenty of advice for us, too. She tells us about all of the different workshops the commune offers; everything from tantric yoga to sexercise classes. We continue eating and listening to all she has to say. After the main meal we have organic milk and cookies for dessert.


By the time dinner is over and we head back to our yurt, it's pretty late.

Isabelle seems off, so when we're getting ready for bed I pull her aside. "Hey Iz, what's wrong Baby? You seem upset. Is everything okay?"

She sighs. "Oh Clary, it's just, talking to Jocelyn about all that stuff, makes me wonder if I'm foolish to want to wait. I mean, maybe sex isn't such a big deal. Do you think I'm being too cautious?"

"That's what's upset you? Oh, honey, no! That isn't the impression Jocelyn wanted to give you, I know it isn't. You have every right to wait, and you're welcome to wait as long as you like. If you were to do something like that because you think you should, then you'd be doing it for the wrong reasons. Heck, I'd rather see you remain a virgin your entire life, than give it up too soon and be unhappy. I've made the choices in my life that were right for me, and so have the boys. So we need you to do the same. I don't want you to do anything with your body that you aren't ready for. And only you will know when you're ready, okay?"

"And what if I say that for me, I want to be married for my first time? You don't think that's stuffy and old fashioned?" She keeps biting her lip with worry and I pull her into a hug.

"Oh Izzy, surely you don't think you could scare us off by throwing around the 'M' word do you? Not a chance. If that's what you want, then one day, that's what you'll have. I didn't spend my whole life falling in love with you only because I wanted your body, silly. You know, when we were younger, and I'd picture my wedding, I would picture hearing the pastor say 'you may now kiss the bride' and I'd picture kissing you. I've always wanted that for us, and I always will."

We stand there for a few minutes embracing as I rub her back and try to make her feel better. Slowly, the stress melts away and she relaxes back into her old self. I kiss her tenderly on the cheek and then on the mouth. She returns the kiss and it soon becomes very passionate. By this time the boys have finished pushing the beds together and putting the blankets back on and they take it upon themselves to sneak up on us and grab us each from behind and chuck us onto the bed. We both giggle at being flung through the air and are reasonably impressed by their ability to sneak up on us, considering it's usually pretty hard to sneak up on a Shadowhunter. I guess we were so caught up in our kiss that the whole world fell away.


Once we are all in our various 'pajamas' (which amounts to Izzy in only black short shorts and a red tank top, Jonathan in green boxers and Jace and I nude), we all climb into bed. Jace slides in close to the wall and I follow next. Izzy gets in after me, followed by Jonathan. They weren't kidding when they said it's be cozy, we each have maybe an inch of wiggle room on either side. It's nice, really nice. We haven't all been able to just be together like this before and it's so good to just have this time to be close. No adults within earshot, no pesky kid brother who might pound on the door at any minute, no curfew and no alarm clock set for the morning, it's just peaceful. New York might be our home base right now, but this is a taste of what our life will be like when we are finally out on our own together. And boy it tastes sweet.